Understanding the 3 Forces of Why
LisaMarie • August 23, 2021
Success coach and emotional resilience expert, Suzanne Dudley-Schon shares her brilliance in this week’s Upside Thought.
Suzanne understands that the beingness of leadership matters more than the doingness of leadership.
You can take all of the tactical leadership actions that generate success and not be a leader worth following.
This week, she’s written about examining what matters most and why – one of my favorite topics!
Happy Reading!
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The intention and force in asking “Why” can produce very different results and each holds value.
1) Why as operating system for a person or business.
In the realm of coaching and self-help work, “your personal why” or your business mission “why,” is well understood as a core motivator. When it’s out of alignment with someone’s true principles, it’s like getting directions from the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz or being the scarecrow. Beyond the personal, businesses can flounder if the “why” isn’t clearly defined to function as a unifying system.
When your “why” motivator is aligned with your values, it sources your energy, focuses your action, and helps you stay on point with your bigger objectives and goals. It’s a prime element of self-empowerment.
2) Why of emotion.
When we ask “why?” from an emotional state such as frustration, anger, upset, resentment—it’s often generated from an inner complaint. It can crop up if we’ve encountered something we don’t like, don’t understand, or find unpleasant. It’s reactive in nature and can be infused with a sense of powerlessness. The internal monologue may sound like: “Things shouldn’t be this way. It’s not what I want, it doesn’t feel good, it’s not fair, and I can’t do anything about it.”
Sound familiar? For me it’s my internal self in a fit of pique, stamping my foot on the verge of a meltdown, like a toddler desperate for an ice cream cone when I’ve been told it’s time for a nap.
While this “why” brings forth emotional honesty about how something feels, it’s highly subjective and doesn’t necessarily give an accurate assessment of the actual situation. In the search for truth—there may be countless “emotional truths”.
This why, however, can teach us about ourselves. With reflection we can discover how we respond to pressures or dynamics. We can see and investigate our “buttons/triggers”, notice our behavior, and ask ourselves powerful questions. Why are we upset? Is there something of value to be understood about ourselves or others? Is there something constructive to do? While external, objective answers aren’t necessarily found, there is often valuable, personal insight gained.
3) Why of genuine curiosity.
The why of curiosity is driven by an open mind. Detached from heightened emotions, it tends to be objective and focused on data and a sense of impartiality. The answers to this why bring us to the observable and factual that is generally common to all perspectives. This kind of neutral inquiry provides information from which to make tactical and strategic decisions.
What I find interesting is how each force of why can serve us. It’s a matter of awareness, election, and implementation.
To make decisions it’s best to consider all the why forces influencing us. What is most relevant to the situation. For example, is it a moment to respond more from our hearts and feelings? Or is it an occasion that requires our logical mind? Or a call of our higher purpose? Or a custom blend?
We function best when we are integrated and whole. When making choices from our whole, aware selves, there’s less chance for a tail of regret to follow—that becomes a tale of regret. By slowing down to notice the forces of why, the drivers at play, we equip ourselves well.
ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to take extra time when deciding.
Notice what “why” is at the helm of your choice.
Is it the one aligned with your values?
Is it reactive and full of feelings?
Or objective? To quote the Star Wars movies, “Use the force for good.”
The post Understanding the 3 Forces of Why appeared first on Upside Thinking.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 21, 2025
For years, I hung around with folks who told me I had to build an empire. And to build an empire, I needed: More clients More employees More products More space More revenue More choices Because this is what success looks like. Yet, it really was just more complication. And it made me dread doing the work that I once loved. Over time, I got the "more" I really needed was focus… and belief in God's grace and favor. I've been in a season of letting go. 100% of what I'm doing has been under examination for about 15 months. I've been looking at all the areas that may be costing me money, time, and energy I don’t need to spend. I've said good-bye to entire product lines, software, and processes. I've also been purging what’s in my home and closet, examining the clothes in my wardrobe, and what’s in the garage and barn. All of this has allowed me to untether from what I own. None of these things define me. When I left federal law enforcement, I remember feeling lost. I turned in my badge, my gun, and what felt like my identity. I am not my business, my sales, my revenue, -- or even my profits. The focus has been to simplify — and not add more "stuff" to my life. I've got folks who come to me with: Complicated systems Employee hassles Warehouse worries ... ... and more line items than in a Senate appropriations bill. And there's some value they get from having a business that looks like that. What do you get from creating complexity in your life?!? I promise you that you get something. The questions I've been asking myself louder every day are: ~ "Does this get me closer to living out my Divine mission?" ~ "Does this allow me to be a greater force for good on the planet?" If the answer is no, it's got to go. I see too many leaders carrying weight they were never meant to carry, overwhelmed by things that were never theirs to hold. They know something needs to shift, and they don’t step back long enough to make it happen. That’s why I’m intentional about creating space for leaders to reset and realign. Because clarity doesn’t come from doing more—it comes from stripping away the unnecessary. If you’ve been feeling that nudge to step away from the noise and get clear on what actually matters, consider scheduling a Private, Leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm. I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one thing adding complexity without real value. Ask yourself: Does this align with my Divine mission? Is it making a real impact? Would letting go create more space for what matters? If not, release it. Less clutter, more clarity. Less doing, more purpose. The world doesn’t need more of your stuff—it needs you.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 18, 2025
Hope isn't a strategy. You can’t hope your way into a better job, career, or business. You can’t hope your way into a better relationship. And you can’t hope your way into a better life. I've watched people who "hope" others will trust them enough to do business with them. Or hire them for their dream job. Or "hope" that the most talented people out there will want to work with them in their company. Or "hope" that the man or woman of their dreams will show up on their doorstep and ask them out. Hope is defined as a "feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." When invest time to get clear about who you are, what you want, and why it matters, it's more than just feeling your desire for something. You spent time, energy, and money creating clarity for your soul. This Upside leadership principle ensures you're not strong in only one area of your life - while being completely out of balance everywhere else. It keeps you from burning out after a year, or even a few. Because operating with clarity, confidence, and strategy ensures you get results that last. And that requires more than just hope. What kind of difference could that type of clarity make for you? If you want to be successful and profitable all areas of your life, this is the work I do so perhaps you're being called to dive in deeper to this community. Because the world needs you at your best. And hope isn’t the way to get there. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been hoping instead of leading. Where have you been waiting for a breakthrough instead of creating one? Take one decisive action today to move forward. Make the call. Send the email. Have the conversation. Do the work. Because God moves with you when you do.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 9, 2025
A few years ago, I felt as if I was on a hamster wheel in my business. It seemed as if I was in the same place every morning - and running fast. Maybe you can relate. I knew I needed someone else to take a look and see what I couldn't because I was too close to it. I sought out someone who would let me learn from their mistakes and not have to make them all on my own. That’s one of the greatest benefits of leadership coaching. Can you be a leader without it? Sure. Yet, the odds of you wildly succeeding are stacked against you for so many reasons. And the biggest one is, you will be light-years behind your competitors if you have to make all of the mistakes on your own. You can always benefit from wisdom gained through others' direct experience, thereby saving yourself a great deal of time and energy. And, you never outgrow the need for coaching. For example, although my leadership coaching and consulting give my clients insights into other industries and companies and have them consider questions they may never have thought about, I, too, have undergone gap analyses in my own business. With the help of others, over 15 months, I examined every single activity that every team member did as well as scrutinizing where my time gets INVESTED. I brought in someone to look at processes for operations, and had a firm conduct a financial audit. We re-wrote SOP's (standard operating procedures), streamlined systems, and eliminated duplication. Some of the questions that I asked were: ~ Is this the simplest way to do this? ~ Is this (action, system, app, etc.) truly needed to run the business? ~ Is everyone on the team committed to the mission, values, and vision of Upside Thinking? ~ What can be automated or done differently? ~ What am I missing? While I talk to business owners almost every day with these questions in mind, it was an interesting journey to do this for me and my business and understand how important it is to ensure the people around me are involved in the process despite this being my area of expertise. Sometimes you can’t see what’s in front of you on your own. You have to be willing to see a new perspective. And then you have to be willing to do something about it. Sometimes, you need to step out of your current environment completely to gain the perspective you’re missing. That’s why I create spaces where leaders can reflect, and recalibrate. If this resonates with you, consider signing up for a Private, Leadership Retreat Day at Summit Hills Farm in Richmond, Kentucky. Our Spring and Fall Upside Retreats are already sold out. And I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. Make a plan to reset, gain clarity, and step fully into what’s next for you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to be committed to personal development, understanding you can't see what's getting in the way on your own. So, where in your business or life do you need outside perspective? Be open to taking action to get the answers needed to move forward with greater ease. Remember, you’re here for a reason… …and the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 1, 2025
That’s the question, isn’t it? If we’re connected, you’re probably not someone who settles. You stretch yourself regularly, and you know there’s always more to do and be. Yet even the most conscious leaders can fall into the comfort of what’s familiar. It’s easy to mistake movement for progress, busyness for impact, and routine for purpose. Settling doesn’t always look like giving up, it often looks like: ~ Saying “yes” to things that keep you busy and yet you don’t move you forward ... ~ Downplaying your vision because it feels too big or uncertain ... ~ Waiting for clarity instead of creating it through action ... ~ Feeling restless yet unsure how to break through ... It’s not a lack of ambition. Rather, it’s a lack of space to recalibrate, strategize, and listen to what’s next. Stretching requires intention. It means: ~ Surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to expand ~ Creating space for deep, strategic thinking ~ Taking bold action even when the path isn’t fully mapped out ~ Bringing God into the process so you’re aligned, not just accomplished I used to wonder where leaders -- those who wanted to change the world -- went to do this kind of work, to breathe life into their vision and build their next level. When I couldn’t find it, I built it. A space for those who refuse to settle for “someday.” Because when you decide to stretch into your highest calling, clarity follows. And when you surround yourself with others who are doing the same, transformation happens. Where are you stretching next? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been holding back, whether it’s speaking up, taking a bold step, or committing fully to your vision, Then take one action today to stretch beyond it. Growth happens when you move past comfort. And the miracle happens after you take the leap of faith.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 21, 2025
For years, I hung around with folks who told me I had to build an empire. And to build an empire, I needed: More clients More employees More products More space More revenue More choices Because this is what success looks like. Yet, it really was just more complication. And it made me dread doing the work that I once loved. Over time, I got the "more" I really needed was focus… and belief in God's grace and favor. I've been in a season of letting go. 100% of what I'm doing has been under examination for about 15 months. I've been looking at all the areas that may be costing me money, time, and energy I don’t need to spend. I've said good-bye to entire product lines, software, and processes. I've also been purging what’s in my home and closet, examining the clothes in my wardrobe, and what’s in the garage and barn. All of this has allowed me to untether from what I own. None of these things define me. When I left federal law enforcement, I remember feeling lost. I turned in my badge, my gun, and what felt like my identity. I am not my business, my sales, my revenue, -- or even my profits. The focus has been to simplify — and not add more "stuff" to my life. I've got folks who come to me with: Complicated systems Employee hassles Warehouse worries ... ... and more line items than in a Senate appropriations bill. And there's some value they get from having a business that looks like that. What do you get from creating complexity in your life?!? I promise you that you get something. The questions I've been asking myself louder every day are: ~ "Does this get me closer to living out my Divine mission?" ~ "Does this allow me to be a greater force for good on the planet?" If the answer is no, it's got to go. I see too many leaders carrying weight they were never meant to carry, overwhelmed by things that were never theirs to hold. They know something needs to shift, and they don’t step back long enough to make it happen. That’s why I’m intentional about creating space for leaders to reset and realign. Because clarity doesn’t come from doing more—it comes from stripping away the unnecessary. If you’ve been feeling that nudge to step away from the noise and get clear on what actually matters, consider scheduling a Private, Leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm. I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one thing adding complexity without real value. Ask yourself: Does this align with my Divine mission? Is it making a real impact? Would letting go create more space for what matters? If not, release it. Less clutter, more clarity. Less doing, more purpose. The world doesn’t need more of your stuff—it needs you.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 18, 2025
Hope isn't a strategy. You can’t hope your way into a better job, career, or business. You can’t hope your way into a better relationship. And you can’t hope your way into a better life. I've watched people who "hope" others will trust them enough to do business with them. Or hire them for their dream job. Or "hope" that the most talented people out there will want to work with them in their company. Or "hope" that the man or woman of their dreams will show up on their doorstep and ask them out. Hope is defined as a "feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." When invest time to get clear about who you are, what you want, and why it matters, it's more than just feeling your desire for something. You spent time, energy, and money creating clarity for your soul. This Upside leadership principle ensures you're not strong in only one area of your life - while being completely out of balance everywhere else. It keeps you from burning out after a year, or even a few. Because operating with clarity, confidence, and strategy ensures you get results that last. And that requires more than just hope. What kind of difference could that type of clarity make for you? If you want to be successful and profitable all areas of your life, this is the work I do so perhaps you're being called to dive in deeper to this community. Because the world needs you at your best. And hope isn’t the way to get there. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been hoping instead of leading. Where have you been waiting for a breakthrough instead of creating one? Take one decisive action today to move forward. Make the call. Send the email. Have the conversation. Do the work. Because God moves with you when you do.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 9, 2025
A few years ago, I felt as if I was on a hamster wheel in my business. It seemed as if I was in the same place every morning - and running fast. Maybe you can relate. I knew I needed someone else to take a look and see what I couldn't because I was too close to it. I sought out someone who would let me learn from their mistakes and not have to make them all on my own. That’s one of the greatest benefits of leadership coaching. Can you be a leader without it? Sure. Yet, the odds of you wildly succeeding are stacked against you for so many reasons. And the biggest one is, you will be light-years behind your competitors if you have to make all of the mistakes on your own. You can always benefit from wisdom gained through others' direct experience, thereby saving yourself a great deal of time and energy. And, you never outgrow the need for coaching. For example, although my leadership coaching and consulting give my clients insights into other industries and companies and have them consider questions they may never have thought about, I, too, have undergone gap analyses in my own business. With the help of others, over 15 months, I examined every single activity that every team member did as well as scrutinizing where my time gets INVESTED. I brought in someone to look at processes for operations, and had a firm conduct a financial audit. We re-wrote SOP's (standard operating procedures), streamlined systems, and eliminated duplication. Some of the questions that I asked were: ~ Is this the simplest way to do this? ~ Is this (action, system, app, etc.) truly needed to run the business? ~ Is everyone on the team committed to the mission, values, and vision of Upside Thinking? ~ What can be automated or done differently? ~ What am I missing? While I talk to business owners almost every day with these questions in mind, it was an interesting journey to do this for me and my business and understand how important it is to ensure the people around me are involved in the process despite this being my area of expertise. Sometimes you can’t see what’s in front of you on your own. You have to be willing to see a new perspective. And then you have to be willing to do something about it. Sometimes, you need to step out of your current environment completely to gain the perspective you’re missing. That’s why I create spaces where leaders can reflect, and recalibrate. If this resonates with you, consider signing up for a Private, Leadership Retreat Day at Summit Hills Farm in Richmond, Kentucky. Our Spring and Fall Upside Retreats are already sold out. And I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. Make a plan to reset, gain clarity, and step fully into what’s next for you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to be committed to personal development, understanding you can't see what's getting in the way on your own. So, where in your business or life do you need outside perspective? Be open to taking action to get the answers needed to move forward with greater ease. Remember, you’re here for a reason… …and the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 1, 2025
That’s the question, isn’t it? If we’re connected, you’re probably not someone who settles. You stretch yourself regularly, and you know there’s always more to do and be. Yet even the most conscious leaders can fall into the comfort of what’s familiar. It’s easy to mistake movement for progress, busyness for impact, and routine for purpose. Settling doesn’t always look like giving up, it often looks like: ~ Saying “yes” to things that keep you busy and yet you don’t move you forward ... ~ Downplaying your vision because it feels too big or uncertain ... ~ Waiting for clarity instead of creating it through action ... ~ Feeling restless yet unsure how to break through ... It’s not a lack of ambition. Rather, it’s a lack of space to recalibrate, strategize, and listen to what’s next. Stretching requires intention. It means: ~ Surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to expand ~ Creating space for deep, strategic thinking ~ Taking bold action even when the path isn’t fully mapped out ~ Bringing God into the process so you’re aligned, not just accomplished I used to wonder where leaders -- those who wanted to change the world -- went to do this kind of work, to breathe life into their vision and build their next level. When I couldn’t find it, I built it. A space for those who refuse to settle for “someday.” Because when you decide to stretch into your highest calling, clarity follows. And when you surround yourself with others who are doing the same, transformation happens. Where are you stretching next? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been holding back, whether it’s speaking up, taking a bold step, or committing fully to your vision, Then take one action today to stretch beyond it. Growth happens when you move past comfort. And the miracle happens after you take the leap of faith.
