Does It Feel Like You're Living the Same Day Over and Over?

I grew up watching my mother handle any obstacle life threw at her. I'm sure she cried herself to sleep many nights, yet she still got up every morning to raise me so I could grow up to be the person I am today. I am strong like her because I learned from the best. See, there are no handbooks for life. You do the best you can every day no matter what the world throws at you. When you do this, you develop an internal resilience that will have you handle more than you ever thought was possible. When Jim and I moved to Summit Hills Farm, I thought that because this was a divine assignment, things would come together beautifully. What showed up was nothing like what I would have created on a vision board. ~ The neighbors were less than friendly. ~ The previous owner didn't disclose lots of little things—that added up to some BIG things. ~ The house manager I'd worked with for 7 years left because of an arranged marriage, leaving me to figure out a lot of stuff on my own. My list could go on and on. Yet, I was pretty sure this was all designed for my highest and greatest good , no matter how it looked on the outside. My mom taught me the subtle art of resilience—and no matter what life threw my way, I was going to win. Because resilience doesn’t always look like a perfectly handled situation. Sometimes, it looks like staying rooted when the ground beneath you shifts. Sometimes, it’s in figuring things out when you feel completely unequipped. And sometimes, it’s simply choosing not to walk away when it would be easier to quit. Resilience is built in the small moments when no one sees you trying and still, you do. And it’s in those moments that your strength becomes something unshakeable. Just like my mother’s was. And now, just like mine is too. So if life feels heavy or messy right now, I want you to hear this: This isn’t the end of your story. You’re not being broken; you’re being prepared. You’re being strengthened for something greater than what you see right now. Keep showing up. Keep choosing to rise. There’s something in you this world needs and resilience is how it gets revealed. You’ve got this. Because the world needs you and your brilliance, now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to make a list of 3 situations you handled well even if they didn’t feel like wins at the time. Think of moments when things didn’t go your way, yet you figured it out, stayed the course, or simply didn’t give up. Write them down. Then, beside each one, jot down what quality you showed—patience, resourcefulness, courage, faith. Let this be a reminder.

I've been doing "behind the scenes" coaching for over a decade. Most folks who come to me seek to diagnose the wrong problem. You don't need more information or another book to read. You don't need more motivation or another podcast to fire you up. You don't even need more self-awareness, disguised as 50 hypothetical questions to answer. What most folks need is a little more quiet in their life. They need space to hear their Yes and NO clearly. They need the ability to pause before moving forward like a runaway freight train when making a decision. And that’s part of why I created the Upside Warrior Men’s Retreat. It’s not something flashy. In fact, it's happening quietly right now—intentionally designed to be an unhurried space for men to breathe, reset, and reconnect with the voice inside that knows what truly matters. See, most folks try to cram 25 hours or more into their 24-hour day, trying to win some imaginary productivity award. They've listened to one too many "expert" who tells them that only folks that are unmotivated and unfocused sleep in past 4:30am. If they want to be successful, they better know how to hustle. I bought into this bill of goods early in my career, believing that rest was for people who were lazy. What I've witnessed from folks who live this way is that they'll either: act out, burn out, or get sick. And I've walked that same path myself. When you give yourself space throughout the day, you begin connecting to an inner wisdom that will serve as a guide to making better decisions. And you get clarity on the first step to take ... and then the next. Life becomes more enjoyable and less of a marathon. So, wherever you are today—whether you’re running fast or finally catching your breath—I hope this serves as a gentle reminder: You don’t have to do more to be more. You don’t have to prove your worth through motion. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is pause... to make space and to listen for what’s next. That’s what this season has been about for me and for the men currently in retreat—creating space to hear what really matters. The truest one. And I want that for you too. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to pause instead of pushing forward. When you feel the urge to jump in, fix, respond, or say yes too quickly, choose stillness. Let presence lead. Pause before replying to a triggering email. Take a breath before offering a solution. Hold silence in a meeting instead of rushing to fill it. In those quiet moments, you may find that clarity, wisdom, and strength speak loudest when you do less, not more.

Years ago, I thought I had to be friends with everyone I met. Growing up, I was told it was rude to exclude folks from your circle so I stopped being choosey and let EVERYONE in. This led to me being around folks who were upsetting to my system ... ... folks who were out of integrity with themselves ... folks who weren't trustworthy, and ... folks who didn't honor who I was. As a little girl, I spent time around folks who were like that and became numb to breaks in integrity. Back then, I didn't have the ability to discern the difference which is why the relationship I had with my grandparents was important. They lived their life honestly, despite the circumstances that often surrounded them. See my grandparents lived in the not-so-good part of town. My grandfather sat on the sofa with the police radio chatter in his ear all day long. Robberies, burglaries, and drug deals were all too common. They were woven into the fabric of the neighborhood. You could hear gunshots and police sirens throughout the day. Despite growing up with that all around me, my grandparents modeled having a strong work ethic and doing the right thing no matter what. Because when that's in the background, you unconsciously don't see the world as a safe place. My system was out of whack without me even knowing it. That's what I love so much about living at Summit Hills Farm. Every day, I get to spend time out in nature. Research shows that spending time in nature improves your physical and mental health. Being around the trees and walking on the land reduces stress, lowers cortisol levels, and reduces blood pressure. It calms the mind and body. See, I used to be an "All Are Welcome" kinda gal until I realized that wasn't healthy, and it didn't align with how God created me. I'm built to challenge ... to confront ... and to push folks past their growth edges. I'm not the kinda gal who's going to tell you what you want to hear. I'm the kinda gal who's going to tell you what you need to hear. So this I tell you... It’s not about where you grew up or how much you’ve had to overcome. We’ve all got stories that carry both beauty and ache. What matters is whether you remember who you are in the middle of it all. For a long time, I wore openness like a badge of honor, until I realized I was handing out access to people who hadn’t earned the right to hold space with me. When you’re clear on who you are, what you want, and why it matters, you begin to choose differently. That’s the kind of work I’ve been doing quietly behind the scenes for years—helping leaders return to themselves. And it’s the heart behind the retreats like the Upside Warrior Men's Retreat Because when you create space to remember what’s true, you lead with more courage, more clarity, and more peace. And that changes everything. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to honor one aligned yes. Choose one area of your life—your calendar, a conversation, a commitment—and ask: Is this aligned with who I am and what I value? If it is, give it your full-hearted yes. If it’s not, lovingly release it. Saying yes to what aligns with you is how you build a life rooted in clarity, peace, and purpose.

Most folks understand the concept of rest. When you expend "x" amount of energy, your body is going to require you to replenish. Yet there's a certain type of weariness that no amount of sleep will produce the feeling of being energized in your body. When you're exhausted to the core, and it feels as if you've been wrung out like a dish rag, that level of fatigue is only overcome by giving your Soul rest. Living in a world where books about how to achieve more are plentiful, this isn't a conversation that's abundant in the business space. You've got to know how to hustle and grind when things get tough. I grew up hearing, "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going." I never heard about The Power of the Pause, or refueling my Soul. And so I pushed. And pushed a little more. And a little more. And figured I was just doing life wrong as all I got was more and more tired ... and a little bit angrier on the inside. Rest isn't about sleep. It's about peace. When you operate from this place, the trials that you face are easier to handle. If you spend your precious minutes criticizing, worrying, or comparing yourself to others, you cannot live your best life and lead others effectively. Out-of-control emotions fueled by fear or anxiety may make you feel as if there's more for you to do or you're not doing enough. Yet that's just fear. ~ Fear of getting something wrong and messing up your life ~ Fear of not figuring out what you're 'supposed' to be doing ~ Fear of disappointing yourself and others if you do or don't do something I could go on and on. Just pick one. And fear can be exhausting. It steals your peace, clouds your judgment, and keeps you stuck in cycles that wear you down from the inside out. This is why I’ve devoted my life’s work to walking alongside purpose-led leaders. Because I’ve seen what happens when you try to push through that kind of soul-deep fatigue alone or to keep going because people are counting on you, even when you’re running on fumes. And I also know what’s possible when you choose to lead from a place of alignment, when your soul is at peace, not just your calendar. Because when you lead from real rest, you show up steady and with ease. That kind of leadership is born from surrender. So pause. Set down the pressure to prove. Rest. Rest your mind from overthinking. Rest your spirit from striving. And most of all, rest in God. Remember, the world needs you and brilliance now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to pause and realign before your next move. In the middle of your busy day, before you jump into the next task, stop. Take a deep breath and ground yourself. Ask this clearly: Is this the work I’m called to do right now? Does it align with who I am and the purpose I carry? If it doesn’t, lean into the wisdom to delegate or let it go. Leading well means knowing where to invest your energy and where to release control. This pause is a moment to realign your body, mind, and spirit so you lead from peace, clarity, and strength.

Good things are waiting for you around every single corner. One of my favorite movie lines comes from "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" when Dev Patel says, " Everything will be alright in the end, so if it's not alright it's not the end. " There is a 2nd part of his quote that few folks remember - and that is, " The only real failure is the failure to try, and the measure of success is how we cope with disappointment. " I get that it’s not always been easy for you. It may feel like heartache and disappointment show up around every corner. Yet I hope you can see how everything that happens to you can be turned into good. I recently asked a client if they believed that God made mistakes—and they said "no". So if God doesn't make mistakes and all is perfect, then every situation, time, and place you've been in has been given to you for a reason. And they paused, sighed, and agreed. This is why I believe so much in the sovereignty of your being, and your ability to live from a place of choice and intention. When you get this, it makes you different than the many others on the planet who complain about their fate or circumstances. Courageous leadership takes, well, courage. You were never promised easy on your journey—and you can create ease and grace by remembering that you are the master of your fate and the captain of your destiny. That’s the foundation I built my business on. When I first began creating my programs and retreats, I didn’t do it because it was simple or convenient. I did it because I saw a gap between where people were and who they were called to be. I knew the pain of disappointment and the ache of untapped potential and I also knew there was a way through it with purpose, alignment, and leadership. So I started small. One courageous moment at a time. Each program, each retreat, each private session was designed to meet people right where they were and help them rise. I believe you can rise, too. There is more for you. There is so much more within you. Good things are waiting for you around every single corner. Go shine your light. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stand tall—literally. Each morning this week, before you start your day, stand up, roll your shoulders back, plant your feet firmly, and take one deep breath as if you’re stepping fully into your purpose. Then do one round of box breathing: Inhale for 4 counts Hold for 4 counts Exhale for 4 counts Hold for 4 counts Repeat this cycle twice. Let your body remember: You are the captain of your destiny. You are walking in purpose. You are ready for what’s next.

Napoleon Hill wrote how thought was the source of all riches, material, physical, and/or spiritual. Then, when I read an excerpt from his Positive Mental Attitude Success Course, I was reminded of the value of mentorship. To multiply your mind power, you can’t go it alone. He recommended having at least 4 types of talent in your life: a spiritual adviser, a financial adviser, a health adviser, and a personal adviser. Without ever reading his curriculum, I recognize it’s how I’ve set up my life. Because to get what you want ... you can’t do it alone. Lord knows I've tried ... Growing up, I was afraid of making a mistake or misstep. I walked on eggshells every day. This put an immense amount of pressure on me. Imagine trying to be perfect! Looking back, I could see that the grown-ups around me had made some big mistakes that led to some pretty unhappy results. My little girl self didn't want to suffer through any unnecessary painful circumstances so I took it upon myself to try for straight A's in life. This led to learning how to lie to look good and cover up the mistakes I made. The harder I tried, the more I just couldn't figure out how to get it right 100% of the time. By the time I got to my 30's, I realized I had to figure out how to get along with disappointment and imperfection. Trying to live like this was stressful - and I was tired of trying to do life on my own. I didn't have to be best friends with imperfection, however, we did need to hang out once in a while. :) That's when I got my first mentor in Federal law enforcement. He was the person I called when I just couldn't figure something out. Looking back, he was like a secret weapon in my career path, steering me from potential minefields every week. I'm not sure I would have survived some of my assignments without him. Over the years, there have been countless guides, mentors, allies, and coaches that have advised me on different legs of my journey. What most people fail to see are the dozens of folks that are standing behind the leader. Mentorship is essential. And it’s not just about strategy or success. It’s about alignment and surrounding yourself with people who speak life into your purpose and hold you to the highest version of yourself, even when you’re in the valley. You were never meant to carry the weight of leadership by yourself. You may be the one out front, yet you’re not supposed to be the only one in the fight. If you’ve been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’re the only one who gets it, this is your invitation. Get your people. The breakthrough you’ve been praying for might not come through hustle. It might come through alignment. This is the season to walk with wise counsel. Because no leader goes it alone, not one who finishes well. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify who’s in your corner. Take 10 minutes this week to reflect on the four types of advisers Napoleon Hill spoke about: Spiritual Financial Health Personal Now, write down one name for each category, someone you trust or could reach out to. If you come up short, don’t panic. Instead, choose one category where you feel the most need and reach out to someone this week. Ask for a conversation, schedule a coffee, or simply send a message of appreciation and curiosity. You don’t have to build your circle overnight. You just have to start. Because the path to wisdom, clarity, and strength begins with one brave ask.

Fifteen years ago, a Chinese medicine doctor read my bloodwork and told me if things didn’t change I would have less energy in 5 years, and people would tell me it was just aging. That one conversation has led me on a long journey with a singular desire: to be a more optimal version of who I am in all areas of my life. Over the years, things would happen in my life that would take me off-course. Behaviors and habits that once seemed manageable, at times felt impossible. Inevitably, my long-time commitment to healthy living was something that got challenged regularly by the people around me, family and friends alike. There have been several times on this journey where I will wake up, understanding something I'm doing needs to change. Immediately. I can't always put my finger on why, yet the signs are there. Going through the motions without the incredible excitement I used to feel about my business A growing task list Questioning my ability My answer used to be to ignore my physical health and just work longer hours hoping to push through what felt like a slump. When I listen to the prompting that something needs to change, I re-commit to what matters most. The longer I've done this, the more I've realized that I can only be healthy in mind and spirit when I'm healthy in my body. And this is one of the reasons we talk about the brain and sleep in the Upside Leaders Program. Because how you treat your body directly affects how you lead. Now, I’m taking more breaks than ever before, and have plenty of space to take regular walks and trail hikes on the farm. All of this allows me to move with intention throughout the day, living moment by moment. What’s been fascinating is that since I've done this bigger opportunities continue to come my way. It’s not the hustle that opens doors. it’s being aligned with who you are, what you want and why it matters. Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stop and ask yourself: Where do you need to make a shift? God often reveals the need for a shift long before we act on it. It can be a strained schedule, a restless spirit, or a body that’s run down. Then take one aligned action. It can be clearing space on your calendar. Or going for a walk without your phone. Or going to bed earlier. The action doesn’t have to be dramatic and you don’t need to overhaul your life. It just needs to be intentional.

I was often annoyed when my cross-country coach would tell me to just believe in myself and envision crossing the finish line. “You’ve just got to believe in yourself.” Really?!? That’s it?!? If it were that simple, everyone would be doing it. And yet… it is that simple. Simple doesn’t mean easy. True belief in oneself takes effort and energy. It demands commitment and discipline. It’s not a quick fix or a motivational phrase you tape to the mirror and forget about the next day. It’s a muscle, a spiritual one and an emotional one that has to be exercised over and over again. There’s a reason most people give up before they ever reach the vision they once felt called to pursue. Somewhere along the way, their belief in themselves got buried beneath fear, fatigue, or comparison. When I look back at everything I've accomplished in my life, it was never complicated to get to the finish line. What it did require was consistent, often uncomfortable action, especially when I felt like I had very little left in my tank. I had to get quiet and reconnect with the vision. I had to remind myself why it mattered and I had to move forward even when the circumstances didn’t look favorable. ~ Some days I doubted my book would ever get published. (I’ve written 7.) ~ Some days I doubted if anyone would ever buy a ticket to one of my events. (I’ve hosted the Upside Summit for 18 years—and people kept coming back.) ~ Some days I doubted whether I'd ever get another client. (And yet, I’ve worked with over 100,000 leaders in the past 20 years.) It’s easy to look at the outcome and assume the path was certain. In each milestone, it was preceded by a moment of doubt—a moment that required me to choose belief over fear. The doubts were real. So was the belief that somehow, some way, the pieces would come together. Some days, it was my faith in God that pulled me through. Other days, it was a conversation with a friend, a coach, or a mentor. Truthfully, sometimes I needed all three. Because every great leader knows that no one goes it alone. And you do have to believe in yourself—and believe that where you're going is worthwhile to keep going. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify where you need more belief in yourself right now. Is there a decision you’ve been avoiding because doubt is louder than faith? Is there a dream you’ve shelved because the finish line feels far away? Whether it’s making a call, saying yes to help, or simply declaring out loud what you truly want… Do it. Remember, simple isn’t easy. Yet it is possible. And it’s worth it.