Does It Feel Like You're Living the Same Day Over and Over?

Fifteen years ago, a Chinese medicine doctor read my bloodwork and told me if things didn’t change I would have less energy in 5 years, and people would tell me it was just aging. That one conversation has led me on a long journey with a singular desire: to be a more optimal version of who I am in all areas of my life. Over the years, things would happen in my life that would take me off-course. Behaviors and habits that once seemed manageable, at times felt impossible. Inevitably, my long-time commitment to healthy living was something that got challenged regularly by the people around me, family and friends alike. There have been several times on this journey where I will wake up, understanding something I'm doing needs to change. Immediately. I can't always put my finger on why, yet the signs are there. Going through the motions without the incredible excitement I used to feel about my business A growing task list Questioning my ability My answer used to be to ignore my physical health and just work longer hours hoping to push through what felt like a slump. When I listen to the prompting that something needs to change, I re-commit to what matters most. The longer I've done this, the more I've realized that I can only be healthy in mind and spirit when I'm healthy in my body. And this is one of the reasons we talk about the brain and sleep in the Upside Leaders Program. Because how you treat your body directly affects how you lead. Now, I’m taking more breaks than ever before, and have plenty of space to take regular walks and trail hikes on the farm. All of this allows me to move with intention throughout the day, living moment by moment. What’s been fascinating is that since I've done this bigger opportunities continue to come my way. It’s not the hustle that opens doors. it’s being aligned with who you are, what you want and why it matters. Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stop and ask yourself: Where do you need to make a shift? God often reveals the need for a shift long before we act on it. It can be a strained schedule, a restless spirit, or a body that’s run down. Then take one aligned action. It can be clearing space on your calendar. Or going for a walk without your phone. Or going to bed earlier. The action doesn’t have to be dramatic and you don’t need to overhaul your life. It just needs to be intentional.

I was often annoyed when my cross-country coach would tell me to just believe in myself and envision crossing the finish line. “You’ve just got to believe in yourself.” Really?!? That’s it?!? If it were that simple, everyone would be doing it. And yet… it is that simple. Simple doesn’t mean easy. True belief in oneself takes effort and energy. It demands commitment and discipline. It’s not a quick fix or a motivational phrase you tape to the mirror and forget about the next day. It’s a muscle, a spiritual one and an emotional one that has to be exercised over and over again. There’s a reason most people give up before they ever reach the vision they once felt called to pursue. Somewhere along the way, their belief in themselves got buried beneath fear, fatigue, or comparison. When I look back at everything I've accomplished in my life, it was never complicated to get to the finish line. What it did require was consistent, often uncomfortable action, especially when I felt like I had very little left in my tank. I had to get quiet and reconnect with the vision. I had to remind myself why it mattered and I had to move forward even when the circumstances didn’t look favorable. ~ Some days I doubted my book would ever get published. (I’ve written 7.) ~ Some days I doubted if anyone would ever buy a ticket to one of my events. (I’ve hosted the Upside Summit for 18 years—and people kept coming back.) ~ Some days I doubted whether I'd ever get another client. (And yet, I’ve worked with over 100,000 leaders in the past 20 years.) It’s easy to look at the outcome and assume the path was certain. In each milestone, it was preceded by a moment of doubt—a moment that required me to choose belief over fear. The doubts were real. So was the belief that somehow, some way, the pieces would come together. Some days, it was my faith in God that pulled me through. Other days, it was a conversation with a friend, a coach, or a mentor. Truthfully, sometimes I needed all three. Because every great leader knows that no one goes it alone. And you do have to believe in yourself—and believe that where you're going is worthwhile to keep going. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify where you need more belief in yourself right now. Is there a decision you’ve been avoiding because doubt is louder than faith? Is there a dream you’ve shelved because the finish line feels far away? Whether it’s making a call, saying yes to help, or simply declaring out loud what you truly want… Do it. Remember, simple isn’t easy. Yet it is possible. And it’s worth it.

Have you ever been stuck in a long line, wishing you could just march right up to the front? When I was in my 30s, that’s exactly what my friends did at a local nightclub. At the time, I was mortified. Yet, deep down inside I thought it was the coolest thing. They carried themselves like they belonged, like they didn’t need anyone’s permission to take up space. I remember thinking… maybe that’s what leadership looks like. Take the risk. Be bold. Do what it takes to get ahead. It felt like confidence. It looked like power. And I'll admit ... there are times in my life when I made decisions based on how cool I thought something would make me vs. whether I thought it was the right thing to do. Over time, I’ve learned that what’s cool rarely aligns with what’s truly lasting. Cool fades. Purpose endures. It’s easy to be drawn to what turns heads or makes a strong impression and harder to stay anchored in what’s true, especially when it means standing alone. Leadership asks something deeper from you. It requires a willingness to listen for what’s real. To live with alignment. To walk forward even when no one’s clapping. And that's one of the hardest lines to walk in leadership. Every day you'll be confronted with decisions that will challenge you in ways that you never imagined. They will put your moral and ethical code on trial or out for bid to the highest buyer. If you make your decisions based on what you see others around you doing, or what the media says is "normal", you'll always fall short from what God has in store for you. When I first started my career in Federal law enforcement, I saw the world through a lens of good and evil. There was no middle or grey area. And then, over time, I watched colleagues make decisions that didn't sit well with me. Behaviors that left me questioning what the "right" thing to do, has challenged my moral fiber. We all carried the same badge. We all have the same set of credentials that read, " This officer possesses integrity. " Yet one of my closest partners made choices that eventually landed him in jail and serving time for his choices. Leadership will reveal what’s underneath. This is why the people around you deeply matter. When things get uncomfortable (and they will), you need to be surrounded by people who call you higher. People who see you for who you are and who you're becoming. That’s the sacred space we’re creating at the Upside Retreats. So here’s the invitation: Is it time to pause and look at the decisions you’ve been making? Is it time to notice who’s around you and whether those voices are helping you stay grounded in truth? Is it time to re-commit to who you are, what you want, and why that matters? Because life has never needed more cool leaders. It needs more aligned ones. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to step back from chasing what looks shiny and start leaning into what’s actually meaningful. Begin by making a list of three things you’ve recently said “yes” to because they sounded impressive or exciting. Then, identify the one that feels least aligned with your values or your calling and take one clear step back from it. That might mean turning down the next opportunity, rescheduling a commitment, or resetting expectations. Use the time and energy you free up to invest in something that may not be flashy yet fuels your deeper purpose.

I consulted with a potential client who had started a business and was making gobs of money. He shared with me that the downside was he has to deal with folks who don't do the right thing morally and ethically in running their business. Because he knew it and it didn't align with who he was, he was struggling and it was keeping him up at night. He was conflicted and wanted to talk it out with me. While I understood the struggle he was having between his mind and his Soul, I'm not an answer machine. I don't tell folks what to do. What I did tell him was that there are 6 Leadership Stepping Stones that lead to mastery. Make a misstep, and it may cost you your livelihood. That's the best way I can explain the importance of listening to your Soul's deepest wisdom. Years ago, I got myself in a jam not heeding this piece of advice. Someone I knew through a friend of a friend wanted to sponsor my annual leadership conference. Every time we got on the phone, I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that what they were saying just didn't add up. Some folks would say this is intuition. I've known it to be the voice of the Holy Spirit trying to give me direction. Even though I knew something was off, I said yes to the money. And it ended up costing me. How many times have you made mistakes like that... just because the money seemed too good to pass up? Listening isn't something that is always easy to do. You've got to be clear about who you are, what you want, and why it matters. After making one too many costly mistakes on my leadership journey, I decided that I was done trying to do it all on my own. The level of clarity I now have is perplexing to most folks. Yet this internal compass guides me throughout each day. When you're connected to this type of wisdom, you don't waste your time making decisions that take you off course, even for a split second. You move forward steadily with an ease that is hard to put into words. And the money always follows. There’s a cost to ignoring what you know deep down to be true. Whether it’s a gut instinct, your inner voice, or the prompting of the Holy Spirit, when you override it, you pay. I’ve paid. So has the leader I consulted with. Success without alignment will always leave you restless. And real clarity doesn’t come from grinding harder or checking more boxes. It comes when you stop long enough to listen to what your Soul is trying to say. It’s why I no longer walk alone. Because every leader needs space to sort through what matters most. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice where you're choosing based on money and take one step toward alignment instead. Maybe it’s a client you’ve outgrown, yet you keep them because they pay on time. Maybe it’s an offer that feels off, even if it looks impressive. Maybe it’s a deal you’re rushing into just to hit a number. Pause. Check in. Then choose the path that brings clarity and is aligned, not just cash. Notice what opens up when you trust alignment over urgency.

Independence Day has just passed, and this year, it holds even deeper meaning for me. Twenty years ago, right around this time of year, I made a decision that would forever change my life. Back then, I believed leadership was about tactics. ~ How well you could communicate. ~ How skillfully you could negotiate. ~ How strategically you could build influence. I threw myself into learning every tool, every technique, every system I could find. I believed that if I mastered the tactical side of leadership, success would naturally follow. For a while, it looked like it was working. I traveled, I spoke, I trained leaders across industries. I had a seat at the table where big decisions were made. From the outside, everything seemed to be lining up the way it should. Inside, though, something was missing. No matter how many tools I taught, no matter how many strategies people mastered, they kept coming back saying, "It’s still not working." If I was honest, I felt the same way too. It was not a tactical problem. It was a spiritual one. In the early years, I spent all my energy giving people what I thought they needed. I handed them the best "wineskins" the world had to offer. The Bible talks about wineskins, and how you cannot pour new wine into old wineskins. If you do, the skins will burst and the wine will spill. The old wineskin, the way of doing leadership without being deeply connected to your Divine purpose, was not producing fruit - not lasting fruit. When I finally saw that, everything shifted. It became clear that leadership was not about tactics alone. ~ It was about who you are, what you want and why it matters. ~ It was about uncovering the Divine purpose planted within you before the world told you who you should be. Because if you are not aligned with your purpose, it does not matter how many tools you master. The foundation will not hold and the fruit will not last. Today, my work looks very different than it did twenty years ago. I still share tools, and I still value practical skills. These are important. They only make a lasting impact, when the heart-work is done first. That is why I created the Upside Leaders program , the Upside Retreats , and the Upside Thinking Live . Each one is designed to help you anchor deeply into your who you are, what you want and why it matters, so you can lead from a place of truth, not just tactics. As I celebrate this milestone, I want to thank you. Whether you have been part of this community for years or you just recently joined, you are part of the story that God continues to write. And there is so much more ahead... ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to set a timer for 10 minutes and create a " Release and Receive" list. Write down one habit, strategy, or belief about leadership that no longer aligns with who you are, then physically cross it off, shred it, or throw it away as a sign of release. Immediately after, write one new action you will take this week that reflects the leader you are being shaped into and schedule it on your calendar. Transformation does not happen by wishing for change, it happens when you move in faith toward it.

The greater something is to your personal growth and evolution, the more resistance or push-back you will experience from the world and the people you love. Think about that. You’ve got a force inside of you that works against your desire to be better. In his 2002 book, “ The War of Art” , Steven Pressfield talks about this inner force as "the resistance". This inner force or resistance you feel creates distractions to take you off-course from fully stepping into who you're called to be. Activities like… Scrolling through Instagram Watching your favorite TV show or movie Shopping for more cool stuff … may seem fun yet they aren't designed to get you closer to what you want most in life. They also won’t move you forward in every single area of your life. And yet, you still find yourself doing them. Why? Because Resistance is subtle. It doesn’t shout—it settles. It lulls you into routine. Resistance may pull you into a comfortable groove where you just keep doing what you’ve been doing, ... and someday you wake up wondering, “How did I get here?!?” You’re not off track for feeling this way. You’re simply at a pivotal point, one that asks you to decide who you’re becoming. Moments like this aren’t meant to be rushed. They’re invitations to rise, realign, and remember what matters most. Resistance is where the growth is. It’s time to push back against it. What are you waiting for? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one area—leadership, relationships, health, or spiritual growth—and make one intentional move in that space. Do it with presence. Do it on purpose. Here are a few ideas: Begin your day by speaking one thing you’re grateful for. Hold off on replying to that text until you can be fully present. Take 60 seconds before a meeting to get still and set your intention. You don’t need more tasks. You need aligned action.

You probably don’t want to be in the same place a week from now, let alone a year from now. Yet, you keep doing the same thing over and over and over again, expecting different results. You would never add 1 + 1 again and again — and expect your answer to be 3. So, stop doing the same things over and over hoping that you’ll magically be where you want to be — and everything you want for your life and business will come to fruition. Sometimes you need a new way of being, thinking, and living. That was one of the hardest lessons I've ever learned. Not knowing a lot about how to start a business, I relied on what I thought was the wisdom from other business owners. I didn't make decisions based on whether the people I had hired and listened to were 1) where I wanted to be, or 2) who I wanted to be when I got there. I looked at success as having a formula, and I just wanted to know what that formula was so I could get my piece of the pie. As each week went by, I got further and further away from the values I held dear before I started my entrepreneurial journey. I found that I was making decisions based on what seemed like I had to do versus what I wanted to do. So much of my day was spent chasing "opportunities" that I darn near lost my way. I remember one day looking up and thinking, " How the heck did I get here?!? " From the outside, it looked like I've got a great business, yet on the inside, if I'm honest with myself, I don't like what I'm doing, or who I have to pretend to be to do it. Every day felt like I added one more layer to the façade. Over the years, I've bought into the belief that I needed to be something — correction someone — different than who God made me to be. I can't tell you how many clients have come to me with that monkey on their back. A new way of thinking, being, and living was an arduous journey. I knew the path I was on. It had become familiar. And I was quite comfortable with the folks in my circle. Yet this wasn't the place for me to stay if I was going to do what God had been nudging me to do all along. I remember the first time I used the word Holy Spirit in one of my marketing pieces. I waited for the backlash to come. I waited for folks to call me out on who I was, and whether I had the right to speak about God. After all, I wasn't a pastor, a preacher, or someone who held a degree in religious studies. And yet, when no backlash came… when instead, I heard “ Thank you for saying what I’ve been feeling, ” something shifted. I realized I didn’t need another strategy. I needed alignment. Both in my business and in my whole life. The truth is, you already know when something isn’t working. You feel it. It nags at you in quiet moments. It whispers that what you’re doing is no longer sustainable — and maybe never was. So, let me ask you this: If nothing changes, where will you be this time next year? Because if you're still adding 1 + 1, you'll still be getting 2. And maybe what you need isn't just a new plan, maybe you need a new path. One that doesn’t force you to abandon who you are, and instead invites you to bring more of yourself into every space you lead. If something’s stirring in you, don’t brush it off. You weren’t made for surface-level success. You were made to lead from the inside out. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to slow down before making any decision — big or small. Ask yourself: "Is this aligned with who I am and where I’m being called? Or is this just what I’ve always done?" Then choose from that place of awareness. Becoming a purpose-led leader isn’t about doing more — it’s about being intentional with every step you take. Let this practice guide you back to alignment, one decision at a time.

For a good portion of my life, I found it difficult to hear God's voice. Mostly I heard just static. Every so often, I'd listen to a song or get a nudge to do something, and mostly it was just quiet in my prayer time. In 2020, something broke open for me. I had been in a terrible place, working very hard in a few different areas. Yet, overall, I felt my life was stuck - and I wasn't making any progress anywhere. I looked at closing my business down and getting a job. My head was hurting from running into what felt like stone walls, and I was plain tired, battered, and bloodied. And I was embarrassed that I wanted to throw the towel in on things I had been working on for years. While many of the leaders I was coaching were doing well, I couldn't figure out the missing piece for where I was standing. And I was getting angry as it seemed my whole life was on the verge of one big meltdown. On a walk in my neighborhood in Virginia, I looked up at my street sign. I lived on Faith Court. The irony of God bringing me there. I decided that I would just start talking to God, and began asking Him questions as if He were walking beside me. I'd often sent clients on God walks, and today I felt this was my last hope. As fast as the questions came, so did the answers. Pieces of my life became clearer and I got an explanation of what had been going on behind the scenes when I thought God had forgotten about me. At the end of my walk, I had a re-commitment to going where God was leading even if it didn't make sense. It was profound and has led me to where I am today. Maybe you’ve felt that silence, too. That deafening quiet when you’re asking for direction, begging for clarity, and all you get is static. And maybe you’ve also been tempted to quit—to let go of what once felt certain, just because the road got too hard, too confusing, too quiet. Yet at times this silence isn’t a void, it’s an invitation. What broke open for me didn’t come from striving harder. It came from walking with God like He was right there beside me—because He was. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to ask God one real question today. Just one. Go outside. Take a walk if you can. Leave your earbuds behind. Imagine Him walking with you, then ask. Not with fear. Not with desperation. Just… ask. And listen. You might be surprised by what you hear when you stop trying to figure it all out and simply make room for Him to respond. You don’t have to get it right. You just have to get moving.