Do you take responsibility for what you say when you speak?
Do you pause before you open your mouth and check your motives ensuring what you have to say is life-giving?
Do you listen to people before you respond without formulating your answer while they're still speaking?
Because these are ways in which the best leaders communicate.
Back when I worked in Federal law enforcement, I began my journey of seeking to be 1% better every day so I worked on how I listened.
Previously, I would be distracted easily and lose focus on the conversation I was having.
My mind would be filled with inane thoughts like,“I have to pick up broccoli on the way home.”
And, I would interrupt people A LOT ... without giving them a chance to finish their thoughts, treating them as if they were wasting my time.
Feeling I could just “speak my mind” often said whatever I felt -- regardless of the cost or how it might be received.
To say I was insensitive back then is being nice and giving me more credit than I deserve.
Today I’m often told I’m a really great listener.
And, it’s taken decades of work to get here.
See most people see the end result and think it must come easily to you.
They don’t see the years of purposeful intention -- practice and effort, AKA "the work".
The Chief Emotional Intelligence Officer of my company is masterful at yoga.
I’d like to be masterful at yoga as well because of the grounding and centering it would give me. Yet to be that masterful takes work.
Years ago I found it easier to quit than to consistently work on something that didn’t come easy to me.
For now, I work on being 1% better, starting with standing in tree pose for 10 seconds (it used to be 1 second...).
I've been building up my ability with daily practice, encouraging self-talk, and the commitment to improve and gain mastery.
Leaders look to what they want to develop, why it makes a difference to do so, and then they create a commitment and take the actions consistent with that commitment.
ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify an area or skill you want to develop.
Be clear as to why it's worth the effort it will require.
Create a commitment and plan of action that aligns with that commitment.
Find a system of accountability to keep you on track.
Be 1% better.
Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance.
Now more than ever.