Blog Layout
How to Get Out of the Comparing Mode
Lisa Marie Platske • August 16, 2017
Every so often, I get into a comparing mode. Every leader struggles with thoughts that try to keep them safe and small. Let’s get you out of this mode.
Every so often, I get into a comparing mode.
It comes on without any warning and BAM! I’m sitting at my desk having to deal with all sorts of thoughts of “Will I ever be good enough to…….”
- The competition in my industry is immense, and who the heck am I to talk about leadership?!? Did you see what ______ wrote last week? He has a gift for writing.
- Really, whose brilliant idea was it to have a vision to support others to design their destiny?!? Did you see what _____ recently launched? Pure genius.
- Everybody out there is talking about knowing who you are, what you want and why it matters. What makes your message so special?!? Did you see what big opportunity they got? Well, good for them.
And, the list goes on and on.
These are real thoughts that swim around in my head every other Thursday or more often.
And, they always show up with a snarky voice and a little bit of attitude.
Every leader has moments of doubt, fear, rejection, insecurity, self-doubt, and worry.
Every leader wonders whether they have what it takes to be wildly successful.Comparing Mode - Upside Thinking
Every leader struggles with thoughts that try to keep them safe and small.
These are normal emotions that have nothing to do with your talents, gifts, and abilities.
Every master was once a disaster.
The difference is being willing to ride the emotional rollercoaster without shame or blame.
Yes, sometimes I am a hot mess.
And, sometimes I’m just hot. (wink…wink…)
Being a great leader is about not letting the disappointments change how you live out your big mission and calling.
If you let the setbacks and frustrations keep you from trying, the world will miss out.
And, everyone in the game of life and leadership has to prove themselves worthy to be a leader worth following.
Usually, it starts with who you believe you are.
Out of the Comparing Mode
I know that my comparing mode is all about keeping me safe.
My inner critic wants to protect me and not have me fail and get hurt.
……And, I’ve had to befriend her so she doesn’t stop me from doing what I’m called to do.
So, how do you befriend your inner critic and keep growing as a leader?
One of the best ways to do this is to build a network of amazing connections or be part of a community.
I love that the women in my “Realize Your Destiny” and “Seize Your Spotlight” programs lean on each other for support, guidance, and encouragement.
Having someone to cheer on your brilliance when you’re stuck in the muck is incredibly valuable.
Whenever I’m struggling to get myself out of my head, I pick up the phone and call a friend.
Sometimes I don’t even have to say a word because they hear it in my voice.
“She was talking to you again…..”
Yes.
“Did you tell her to be quiet – that you’ve got this.”
Yes.
Or, I go outside and sit and listen to my birds.
Just being in nature helps me to remember who I am so I can get out of my head and back into my heart.
And, finally, sometimes it’s just about showing up and providing value for others.
When you’re giving to others, it’s difficult to be in comparing mode.
Action Item: Comparing Mode - Lisa Marie Platske
The Upside Challenge of the week is to be an encourager for someone.
The world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 17, 2025
It’s been 20 years since I sat at my desk in Riverside, “California dreaming” about Upside Thinking, LLC. I envisioned it as a global leadership company and brand that would be different from organizations that focused on technical expertise. Our focus would be on happiness, success, and meaning – the top of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. These tenets are built into the Upside Summit, an experience designed to bring leaders together in a way that fosters transformation. Life happens moment by moment, the lows and highs woven together like an exquisite silk tapestry. While it may feel good to focus on the high moments, the lows teach us how to discover and/or create happiness, success, and meaning. I’ve had an unsettling feeling in my bones lately and have questioned from where it’s coming. It feels as if there have been many blows or lows that my body has felt as if I’ve been in the ring with Ali, Mayweather, and Tyson all at the same time. The political landscape, as well as debates over AI, social responsibility, and freedom have created feelings of pain, grief, and outrage – which can be where meaning lives. Yet, it’s not an easy road to walk: feeling feelings, being uncomfortable, examining beliefs, finding clarity in the chaos, and making decisions. Perhaps you understand this. Meaning is defined as “ the sense or significance of… ” and when it intersects with caring about others as much as caring about yourself, then leadership becomes what is ... ... the Highest and Best good for All. You as a leader become more purpose-driven and seek to connect with others who have a similar why. Even when they have different beliefs, the common “why” as a focal point can hold you together. When there is no clear “why,” you have little motivation to take action any differently than you’ve done before. Have the courage to look at the gaps without getting caught up in the swirl of emotion, understanding that our common humanity can serve to unite us. ACTION: The Upside Challenge is to engage in a dialogue of meaning and different types of conversations with family, friends, and colleagues than you might typically have. Don’t shy away from talking about the lows. It is only from this place we can appreciate our differences. To do so is to be made anew. Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance. With everything Upside, Lisa Marie Platske President, Upside Thinking, LLC LisaMarie@UpsideThinking.com 951.334.9162 p.s. True leadership isn’t just about what you do, it’s about who you become. The Upside Leaders program is a 12-week journey designed to help you align with the Divine Operating System, so you can lead with clarity, conviction, and impact. If you’re feeling called to more—more meaning, more purpose, more transformation—this is your invitation. Step in, rise up, and lead at your highest level. Join us now.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 10, 2025
Cleaning and De-cluttering. This seems to be the daily theme at the farm. Since moving into the property, I’ve been releasing many things from my life: ~ Clothing I hadn’t worn in years ~ New pillows, bedding, and household items that never seemed right ~ Old electronics, including two laptops that a friend was able to re-purpose ~ Papers, papers, and more papers! I’ve also been re-examining what still fits as I move into this new chapter. Getting really honest with why I hold on to things (and people) when they clearly no longer fit in my life. I even deleted hundreds—dare I say thousands—of names from my email list, making my list size the un-sexiest it’s ever been. In the coaching world, this is seen as a fatal mistake—the kiss of death—as your list size is what makes you “cool.” On this part of my journey, I’m much more discerning of the people, places, and situations that are part of my life. I’m examining the distractions that keep me from shining brightly. And, after years of being told not to take things personally, that’s all I’m interested in, because life is personal. You can’t be a leader worth following unless you can see and honor someone’s humanity: ~ What makes their heart hurt ~ What makes them laugh uncontrollably ~ What makes them wonderful and unique That’s the kind of leadership I’m interested in. The kind that’s personal. And that just may take a little de-cluttering and letting go of what and who doesn’t allow you to be the best version of who you’re called to be. Don’t let people, places, or things get in the way of you shining your light. Because the world needs you and your brilliance, now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to reflect on what’s taking up space in your life? Take 30 minutes today to identify one physical item or relationship that no longer serves you. Whether it’s an old piece of clothing, a cluttered drawer, or an obligation you’ve outgrown, release it with gratitude for its role in your life.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 3, 2025
Are you in integrity with yourself? That’s what the world is really asking when they see if you measure up as a leader worth following. The deeper you are in relationship with yourself, the greater you’re able to serve others and make a positive difference on the planet. You can’t be in integrity with yourself unless you’re able to access your emotions, to experience emotional well-being. See, most people sidestep the things they don’t want to deal with in their life. They do it all day long. They have hidden places, in dark corners, where they’d rather not look. The actions can look like no big deal, like saying ‘yes’ to something when you really want to say ‘no’. I mean it’s just easier to go along to get along. Yet when you do this, you’re out of integrity with yourself. And over time, the consequences are costly. You can stack up all of the wins, and get external validation, yet the person in the mirror will still be staring back at you. You can’t really hide from yourself. I’ve got a pretty tough exterior, and I was an emotional stuffer for years. It’s taken me a lifetime to understand that your emotions reveal where you’re off-track. When you choose to listen amidst the noise of the world, you can see what just may be getting in the way. Only if you’re willing to. Looking deep into your soul. The world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to pause and check in with yourself the next time you feel uncomfortable, frustrated, or out of alignment. Ask yourself: What is this emotion trying to show me about where I’m off track? Is there a hidden “yes” or “no” I’ve been avoiding? Once you’ve identified it, take one intentional step to honor what you uncover. Maybe it’s setting a boundary, speaking your truth, or letting go of something that no longer serves you. Your emotions are a guide, trust them, and see where they lead.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 13, 2025
When you aren’t willing to fully examine… ~ what you believe, ~ the size of your comfort zone, ~ and the operational effectiveness of your processes and systems... … you stay stuck. There is a hard cost to choosing to stay stuck. ~ Physically ~ Emotionally ~ Intellectually ~ Spiritually ~ Financially ~ Relationally ~ And to the health of your career or business. Moving forward requires change. And, change is uncomfortable for most people, especially when it requires letting go of what was. It's not usually external waves that cause your boat to sink... ... rather it's the SMALL HOLE INSIDE your BOAT that YOU'VE BEEN IGNORING. A little reflection goes a long way, along with conversations with someone you trust. ~ What have you been ignoring or putting off? ~ What haven't you been willing to look at? Ignoring or delaying doesn't typically help because that small hole may be getting bigger... The longer you delay looking at things, the sense of overwhelm grows too-- much like the feeling that the boat is filling up with water. Pretty soon you may be swimming inside your proverbial boat. What is the process for getting unstuck? It starts with a commitment to make a clear-eyed assessment of where you are. This requires both courage and vulnerability. The costs to stay stuck are high. Be willing to see where you might be off course without judgment. Remember, judgment and discernment are different. One is constructive, the other is destructive. Next focus on what you want . What's your desired outcome? Use your imagination to build the bridge in the gap between where you are and also from the goal ("end"). ~ What do you need to do? ~ Who do you need to be? If you can create it in your mind, you can create it in the world. While it may look different as you build and take each step... you'll be moving forward... Find the courage to take the first step. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to LOOK at where you are stuck and have been ignoring or delaying. Examine the situation with a neutral eye from multiple angles. What is your desired and designed outcome? CHOOSE the first step ... which might just be reaching out to someone for coaching. Have the courage to take that ACTION step. If you need support or resources... reach out . The world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 17, 2025
It’s been 20 years since I sat at my desk in Riverside, “California dreaming” about Upside Thinking, LLC. I envisioned it as a global leadership company and brand that would be different from organizations that focused on technical expertise. Our focus would be on happiness, success, and meaning – the top of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. These tenets are built into the Upside Summit, an experience designed to bring leaders together in a way that fosters transformation. Life happens moment by moment, the lows and highs woven together like an exquisite silk tapestry. While it may feel good to focus on the high moments, the lows teach us how to discover and/or create happiness, success, and meaning. I’ve had an unsettling feeling in my bones lately and have questioned from where it’s coming. It feels as if there have been many blows or lows that my body has felt as if I’ve been in the ring with Ali, Mayweather, and Tyson all at the same time. The political landscape, as well as debates over AI, social responsibility, and freedom have created feelings of pain, grief, and outrage – which can be where meaning lives. Yet, it’s not an easy road to walk: feeling feelings, being uncomfortable, examining beliefs, finding clarity in the chaos, and making decisions. Perhaps you understand this. Meaning is defined as “ the sense or significance of… ” and when it intersects with caring about others as much as caring about yourself, then leadership becomes what is ... ... the Highest and Best good for All. You as a leader become more purpose-driven and seek to connect with others who have a similar why. Even when they have different beliefs, the common “why” as a focal point can hold you together. When there is no clear “why,” you have little motivation to take action any differently than you’ve done before. Have the courage to look at the gaps without getting caught up in the swirl of emotion, understanding that our common humanity can serve to unite us. ACTION: The Upside Challenge is to engage in a dialogue of meaning and different types of conversations with family, friends, and colleagues than you might typically have. Don’t shy away from talking about the lows. It is only from this place we can appreciate our differences. To do so is to be made anew. Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance. With everything Upside, Lisa Marie Platske President, Upside Thinking, LLC LisaMarie@UpsideThinking.com 951.334.9162 p.s. True leadership isn’t just about what you do, it’s about who you become. The Upside Leaders program is a 12-week journey designed to help you align with the Divine Operating System, so you can lead with clarity, conviction, and impact. If you’re feeling called to more—more meaning, more purpose, more transformation—this is your invitation. Step in, rise up, and lead at your highest level. Join us now.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 10, 2025
Cleaning and De-cluttering. This seems to be the daily theme at the farm. Since moving into the property, I’ve been releasing many things from my life: ~ Clothing I hadn’t worn in years ~ New pillows, bedding, and household items that never seemed right ~ Old electronics, including two laptops that a friend was able to re-purpose ~ Papers, papers, and more papers! I’ve also been re-examining what still fits as I move into this new chapter. Getting really honest with why I hold on to things (and people) when they clearly no longer fit in my life. I even deleted hundreds—dare I say thousands—of names from my email list, making my list size the un-sexiest it’s ever been. In the coaching world, this is seen as a fatal mistake—the kiss of death—as your list size is what makes you “cool.” On this part of my journey, I’m much more discerning of the people, places, and situations that are part of my life. I’m examining the distractions that keep me from shining brightly. And, after years of being told not to take things personally, that’s all I’m interested in, because life is personal. You can’t be a leader worth following unless you can see and honor someone’s humanity: ~ What makes their heart hurt ~ What makes them laugh uncontrollably ~ What makes them wonderful and unique That’s the kind of leadership I’m interested in. The kind that’s personal. And that just may take a little de-cluttering and letting go of what and who doesn’t allow you to be the best version of who you’re called to be. Don’t let people, places, or things get in the way of you shining your light. Because the world needs you and your brilliance, now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to reflect on what’s taking up space in your life? Take 30 minutes today to identify one physical item or relationship that no longer serves you. Whether it’s an old piece of clothing, a cluttered drawer, or an obligation you’ve outgrown, release it with gratitude for its role in your life.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 3, 2025
Are you in integrity with yourself? That’s what the world is really asking when they see if you measure up as a leader worth following. The deeper you are in relationship with yourself, the greater you’re able to serve others and make a positive difference on the planet. You can’t be in integrity with yourself unless you’re able to access your emotions, to experience emotional well-being. See, most people sidestep the things they don’t want to deal with in their life. They do it all day long. They have hidden places, in dark corners, where they’d rather not look. The actions can look like no big deal, like saying ‘yes’ to something when you really want to say ‘no’. I mean it’s just easier to go along to get along. Yet when you do this, you’re out of integrity with yourself. And over time, the consequences are costly. You can stack up all of the wins, and get external validation, yet the person in the mirror will still be staring back at you. You can’t really hide from yourself. I’ve got a pretty tough exterior, and I was an emotional stuffer for years. It’s taken me a lifetime to understand that your emotions reveal where you’re off-track. When you choose to listen amidst the noise of the world, you can see what just may be getting in the way. Only if you’re willing to. Looking deep into your soul. The world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to pause and check in with yourself the next time you feel uncomfortable, frustrated, or out of alignment. Ask yourself: What is this emotion trying to show me about where I’m off track? Is there a hidden “yes” or “no” I’ve been avoiding? Once you’ve identified it, take one intentional step to honor what you uncover. Maybe it’s setting a boundary, speaking your truth, or letting go of something that no longer serves you. Your emotions are a guide, trust them, and see where they lead.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 13, 2025
When you aren’t willing to fully examine… ~ what you believe, ~ the size of your comfort zone, ~ and the operational effectiveness of your processes and systems... … you stay stuck. There is a hard cost to choosing to stay stuck. ~ Physically ~ Emotionally ~ Intellectually ~ Spiritually ~ Financially ~ Relationally ~ And to the health of your career or business. Moving forward requires change. And, change is uncomfortable for most people, especially when it requires letting go of what was. It's not usually external waves that cause your boat to sink... ... rather it's the SMALL HOLE INSIDE your BOAT that YOU'VE BEEN IGNORING. A little reflection goes a long way, along with conversations with someone you trust. ~ What have you been ignoring or putting off? ~ What haven't you been willing to look at? Ignoring or delaying doesn't typically help because that small hole may be getting bigger... The longer you delay looking at things, the sense of overwhelm grows too-- much like the feeling that the boat is filling up with water. Pretty soon you may be swimming inside your proverbial boat. What is the process for getting unstuck? It starts with a commitment to make a clear-eyed assessment of where you are. This requires both courage and vulnerability. The costs to stay stuck are high. Be willing to see where you might be off course without judgment. Remember, judgment and discernment are different. One is constructive, the other is destructive. Next focus on what you want . What's your desired outcome? Use your imagination to build the bridge in the gap between where you are and also from the goal ("end"). ~ What do you need to do? ~ Who do you need to be? If you can create it in your mind, you can create it in the world. While it may look different as you build and take each step... you'll be moving forward... Find the courage to take the first step. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to LOOK at where you are stuck and have been ignoring or delaying. Examine the situation with a neutral eye from multiple angles. What is your desired and designed outcome? CHOOSE the first step ... which might just be reaching out to someone for coaching. Have the courage to take that ACTION step. If you need support or resources... reach out . The world needs you and your brilliance.
Upside Your Business & Your Life!
