How to Get Out of the Comparing Mode
Lisa Marie Platske • August 16, 2017
Every so often, I get into a comparing mode. Every leader struggles with thoughts that try to keep them safe and small. Let’s get you out of this mode.
Every so often, I get into a comparing mode.
It comes on without any warning and BAM! I’m sitting at my desk having to deal with all sorts of thoughts of “Will I ever be good enough to…….”
- The competition in my industry is immense, and who the heck am I to talk about leadership?!? Did you see what ______ wrote last week? He has a gift for writing.
- Really, whose brilliant idea was it to have a vision to support others to design their destiny?!? Did you see what _____ recently launched? Pure genius.
- Everybody out there is talking about knowing who you are, what you want and why it matters. What makes your message so special?!? Did you see what big opportunity they got? Well, good for them.
And, the list goes on and on.
These are real thoughts that swim around in my head every other Thursday or more often.
And, they always show up with a snarky voice and a little bit of attitude.
Every leader has moments of doubt, fear, rejection, insecurity, self-doubt, and worry.
Every leader wonders whether they have what it takes to be wildly successful.Comparing Mode - Upside Thinking
Every leader struggles with thoughts that try to keep them safe and small.
These are normal emotions that have nothing to do with your talents, gifts, and abilities.
Every master was once a disaster.
The difference is being willing to ride the emotional rollercoaster without shame or blame.
Yes, sometimes I am a hot mess.
And, sometimes I’m just hot. (wink…wink…)
Being a great leader is about not letting the disappointments change how you live out your big mission and calling.
If you let the setbacks and frustrations keep you from trying, the world will miss out.
And, everyone in the game of life and leadership has to prove themselves worthy to be a leader worth following.
Usually, it starts with who you believe you are.
Out of the Comparing Mode
I know that my comparing mode is all about keeping me safe.
My inner critic wants to protect me and not have me fail and get hurt.
……And, I’ve had to befriend her so she doesn’t stop me from doing what I’m called to do.
So, how do you befriend your inner critic and keep growing as a leader?
One of the best ways to do this is to build a network of amazing connections or be part of a community.
I love that the women in my “Realize Your Destiny” and “Seize Your Spotlight” programs lean on each other for support, guidance, and encouragement.
Having someone to cheer on your brilliance when you’re stuck in the muck is incredibly valuable.
Whenever I’m struggling to get myself out of my head, I pick up the phone and call a friend.
Sometimes I don’t even have to say a word because they hear it in my voice.
“She was talking to you again…..”
Yes.
“Did you tell her to be quiet – that you’ve got this.”
Yes.
Or, I go outside and sit and listen to my birds.
Just being in nature helps me to remember who I am so I can get out of my head and back into my heart.
And, finally, sometimes it’s just about showing up and providing value for others.
When you’re giving to others, it’s difficult to be in comparing mode.
Action Item: Comparing Mode - Lisa Marie Platske
The Upside Challenge of the week is to be an encourager for someone.
The world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 23, 2026
You can believe the best or worst about people. It’s less lonely to believe the best in them, yet that's really hard to do, especially when you've been burned over and over. When I think about leadership as a whole, this is one of the hardest elements to master because people are human. ~ They're going to get stuff wrong. ~ They're going to say things you don't like. ~ They're going to hurt your feelings, even if you don't want to admit it. At some point, most folks give up trying or at least caring. It's often easier to numb or ignore than to deal with a disappointment. Yet numbing or ignoring doesn't change the body's reaction internally to the situation. To get to a place where you are able to believe the best in folks takes work. There is no leadership pill or shortcut. At least not one that I've ever found. One of the biggest flexes is being able to hold space for someone when they've wronged you. I remember years ago reading an article about Richard Branson, and one of his employees who had stolen from him. Branson told the manager to speak to him—and give him a second chance. A second chance?!? Are you kidding me?!? That's a break in integrity and grounds for removal in any industry. Reading this had me wonder what Branson knew about leadership that at the time I didn't. To take it a step further, my curiosity increased and I wondered what would happen if I did something like this in my own life. It felt awkward to try this idea on as I had long-rooted beliefs that certain behaviors were vehemently wrong—and should be punished. Was it possible that leadership required unconditional love? Now, this didn't mean being a doormat and letting someone walk all over you. Anyone who knows me understands that's never gonna happen. Yet this new perspective, this new lens, had me curious about what would happen if I led from that place. Over the years, I can say it hasn't been the easiest thing to do—and it's been the most rewarding. I still have folks come back to me who wronged me telling me how much they respect the way I handled the situation. My greatest desire for folks is that they lead their lives in a way that honors the core of their being—their divine mission and purpose. And it's really hard to do that when you're steeped in judgment, blame, or shame-inducing behaviors. Love is the answer, regardless of the question. Because you can choose to believe the worst in people. Or you can choose to see the best in people. It's always your choice. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one person who has disappointed or frustrated you. Take one step from your highest self that keeps your heart open. Speak with calm. Acknowledge something they did right. And release the story you’ve been holding. Lead from love today.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 16, 2026
Life’s little synchronicities. Have you noticed them? Something happens that was too meaningful to be a coincidence. ~ Meeting that person. ~ Getting that call. ~ Having the impossible become possible?!? Perhaps you’re thinking about someone, and then they call. How does that happen?!? Or, you get a bill, and you've got no idea how you’re going to pay it. And then, poof! ... the exact amount of money you need just shows up. I’ve experienced countless events like these throughout my life. And while some people believe they are random, I understand in the depth of my being that these experiences are signs from the Holy Spirit to get my attention or answer a prayer. When you are in co-creation with all of Life, you get messages to confirm you’re on the right path. When I’m in ease and grace, greater wealth, opportunities, and relationships flow into my life. It’s magical. However, you have to be open to notice the signs in the first place. Every synchronicity carries wisdom for the journey. When you lean into the whispers of the Holy Spirit, life opens in ways you couldn’t script on your own. Stay open. Stay expectant. What you’ve been seeking may already be moving towards you in ways you can’t yet see. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stay on the lookout for meaningful synchronicities throughout your days. Each time one happens, jot it down so you don’t forget. At the end of the week sit with your list and speak your gratitude aloud for every moment that aligned for you.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 9, 2026
“You can’t quit your job to open a business. You don’t even know anything about business.” I get it. Taking a leap of faith doesn’t make sense. That’s why it’s called faith. So I took the leap of faith anyway. “That’s not the way we do that here.” I understand. And I created a new way of doing business that is more effective—and fun! “Why must you be such a troublemaker?” I don’t know what you mean. I get there are rules within the system—and I chose to create a new system. “That’s not possible.” Sure it is. I just did it. “You’re being reckless. You have responsibilities.” It depends on how you look at it. I see unlimited possibilities. These are real-life conversations I've had with folks in different seasons of my life. See, the rewards of courageous leadership are immense. Questioning 'what if...' to create 'what is' has been my journey. And it’s probably yours, too. You can’t live out your mission by playing by the rules of a broken world. Don’t let the “we’ve always done it this way” paradigm get in the way of making a positive difference on the planet. Remember, there’s always a way. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stop letting “we’ve always done it this way” slow your impact. Take a process, workflow, or system that isn’t serving your mission and start redesigning it. Remember, there’s always a way to make a bigger difference and it starts with your decision to do things differently.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 2, 2026
You have been hard-wired for greatness so stop trying so hard to be something other than who you are. I see it all the time. Folks who tie themselves into knots, seeking the approval of others. Oh, it's not conscious. Most leaders would tell you that they're comfortable being their own boss, in charge of their time. Behind closed doors, many of them have told me something different. And that's because conflict, being misunderstood, and being vilified are pretty crummy. Most folks want to be liked. They want to be valued and appreciated for the effort they've put in. Your greatest gift to the planet is to be fully, completely, and unapologetically who you are. Doing that may come with some pretty harsh consequences ... which is why most leaders are willing to sell out. The thing that isn't always self-evident about compromising your values and beliefs is that every night you're stuck with you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror. You are the only one who understands the choices you've made—right, wrong, or indifferent. When the day is done, the truth always meets you in the quiet. It asks whether you stood in integrity or traded pieces of yourself to keep the peace. Leadership requires decisions that don’t win applause. It often asks you to hold your ground when others want you to bend. Living aligned with who you are may cost you approval or relationships. Yet, it will never cost you your soul. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to name a decision you’ve been avoiding because it feels risky or uncomfortable. It could be ending a partnership that no longer serves your vision, raising the standards for a client, or closing a door that keeps you from your calling. Take one bold, aligned action this week that honors your integrity and the leader you were created to be.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 23, 2026
You can believe the best or worst about people. It’s less lonely to believe the best in them, yet that's really hard to do, especially when you've been burned over and over. When I think about leadership as a whole, this is one of the hardest elements to master because people are human. ~ They're going to get stuff wrong. ~ They're going to say things you don't like. ~ They're going to hurt your feelings, even if you don't want to admit it. At some point, most folks give up trying or at least caring. It's often easier to numb or ignore than to deal with a disappointment. Yet numbing or ignoring doesn't change the body's reaction internally to the situation. To get to a place where you are able to believe the best in folks takes work. There is no leadership pill or shortcut. At least not one that I've ever found. One of the biggest flexes is being able to hold space for someone when they've wronged you. I remember years ago reading an article about Richard Branson, and one of his employees who had stolen from him. Branson told the manager to speak to him—and give him a second chance. A second chance?!? Are you kidding me?!? That's a break in integrity and grounds for removal in any industry. Reading this had me wonder what Branson knew about leadership that at the time I didn't. To take it a step further, my curiosity increased and I wondered what would happen if I did something like this in my own life. It felt awkward to try this idea on as I had long-rooted beliefs that certain behaviors were vehemently wrong—and should be punished. Was it possible that leadership required unconditional love? Now, this didn't mean being a doormat and letting someone walk all over you. Anyone who knows me understands that's never gonna happen. Yet this new perspective, this new lens, had me curious about what would happen if I led from that place. Over the years, I can say it hasn't been the easiest thing to do—and it's been the most rewarding. I still have folks come back to me who wronged me telling me how much they respect the way I handled the situation. My greatest desire for folks is that they lead their lives in a way that honors the core of their being—their divine mission and purpose. And it's really hard to do that when you're steeped in judgment, blame, or shame-inducing behaviors. Love is the answer, regardless of the question. Because you can choose to believe the worst in people. Or you can choose to see the best in people. It's always your choice. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one person who has disappointed or frustrated you. Take one step from your highest self that keeps your heart open. Speak with calm. Acknowledge something they did right. And release the story you’ve been holding. Lead from love today.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 16, 2026
Life’s little synchronicities. Have you noticed them? Something happens that was too meaningful to be a coincidence. ~ Meeting that person. ~ Getting that call. ~ Having the impossible become possible?!? Perhaps you’re thinking about someone, and then they call. How does that happen?!? Or, you get a bill, and you've got no idea how you’re going to pay it. And then, poof! ... the exact amount of money you need just shows up. I’ve experienced countless events like these throughout my life. And while some people believe they are random, I understand in the depth of my being that these experiences are signs from the Holy Spirit to get my attention or answer a prayer. When you are in co-creation with all of Life, you get messages to confirm you’re on the right path. When I’m in ease and grace, greater wealth, opportunities, and relationships flow into my life. It’s magical. However, you have to be open to notice the signs in the first place. Every synchronicity carries wisdom for the journey. When you lean into the whispers of the Holy Spirit, life opens in ways you couldn’t script on your own. Stay open. Stay expectant. What you’ve been seeking may already be moving towards you in ways you can’t yet see. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stay on the lookout for meaningful synchronicities throughout your days. Each time one happens, jot it down so you don’t forget. At the end of the week sit with your list and speak your gratitude aloud for every moment that aligned for you.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 9, 2026
“You can’t quit your job to open a business. You don’t even know anything about business.” I get it. Taking a leap of faith doesn’t make sense. That’s why it’s called faith. So I took the leap of faith anyway. “That’s not the way we do that here.” I understand. And I created a new way of doing business that is more effective—and fun! “Why must you be such a troublemaker?” I don’t know what you mean. I get there are rules within the system—and I chose to create a new system. “That’s not possible.” Sure it is. I just did it. “You’re being reckless. You have responsibilities.” It depends on how you look at it. I see unlimited possibilities. These are real-life conversations I've had with folks in different seasons of my life. See, the rewards of courageous leadership are immense. Questioning 'what if...' to create 'what is' has been my journey. And it’s probably yours, too. You can’t live out your mission by playing by the rules of a broken world. Don’t let the “we’ve always done it this way” paradigm get in the way of making a positive difference on the planet. Remember, there’s always a way. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stop letting “we’ve always done it this way” slow your impact. Take a process, workflow, or system that isn’t serving your mission and start redesigning it. Remember, there’s always a way to make a bigger difference and it starts with your decision to do things differently.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 2, 2026
You have been hard-wired for greatness so stop trying so hard to be something other than who you are. I see it all the time. Folks who tie themselves into knots, seeking the approval of others. Oh, it's not conscious. Most leaders would tell you that they're comfortable being their own boss, in charge of their time. Behind closed doors, many of them have told me something different. And that's because conflict, being misunderstood, and being vilified are pretty crummy. Most folks want to be liked. They want to be valued and appreciated for the effort they've put in. Your greatest gift to the planet is to be fully, completely, and unapologetically who you are. Doing that may come with some pretty harsh consequences ... which is why most leaders are willing to sell out. The thing that isn't always self-evident about compromising your values and beliefs is that every night you're stuck with you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror. You are the only one who understands the choices you've made—right, wrong, or indifferent. When the day is done, the truth always meets you in the quiet. It asks whether you stood in integrity or traded pieces of yourself to keep the peace. Leadership requires decisions that don’t win applause. It often asks you to hold your ground when others want you to bend. Living aligned with who you are may cost you approval or relationships. Yet, it will never cost you your soul. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to name a decision you’ve been avoiding because it feels risky or uncomfortable. It could be ending a partnership that no longer serves your vision, raising the standards for a client, or closing a door that keeps you from your calling. Take one bold, aligned action this week that honors your integrity and the leader you were created to be.
