Lessons Learned at the Abbey

The greater something is to your personal growth and evolution, the more resistance or push-back you will experience from the world and the people you love. Think about that. You’ve got a force inside of you that works against your desire to be better. In his 2002 book, “ The War of Art” , Steven Pressfield talks about this inner force as "the resistance". This inner force or resistance you feel creates distractions to take you off-course from fully stepping into who you're called to be. Activities like… Scrolling through Instagram Watching your favorite TV show or movie Shopping for more cool stuff … may seem fun yet they aren't designed to get you closer to what you want most in life. They also won’t move you forward in every single area of your life. And yet, you still find yourself doing them. Why? Because Resistance is subtle. It doesn’t shout—it settles. It lulls you into routine. Resistance may pull you into a comfortable groove where you just keep doing what you’ve been doing, ... and someday you wake up wondering, “How did I get here?!?” You’re not off track for feeling this way. You’re simply at a pivotal point, one that asks you to decide who you’re becoming. Moments like this aren’t meant to be rushed. They’re invitations to rise, realign, and remember what matters most. Resistance is where the growth is. It’s time to push back against it. What are you waiting for? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one area—leadership, relationships, health, or spiritual growth—and make one intentional move in that space. Do it with presence. Do it on purpose. Here are a few ideas: Begin your day by speaking one thing you’re grateful for. Hold off on replying to that text until you can be fully present. Take 60 seconds before a meeting to get still and set your intention. You don’t need more tasks. You need aligned action.

You probably don’t want to be in the same place a week from now, let alone a year from now. Yet, you keep doing the same thing over and over and over again, expecting different results. You would never add 1 + 1 again and again — and expect your answer to be 3. So, stop doing the same things over and over hoping that you’ll magically be where you want to be — and everything you want for your life and business will come to fruition. Sometimes you need a new way of being, thinking, and living. That was one of the hardest lessons I've ever learned. Not knowing a lot about how to start a business, I relied on what I thought was the wisdom from other business owners. I didn't make decisions based on whether the people I had hired and listened to were 1) where I wanted to be, or 2) who I wanted to be when I got there. I looked at success as having a formula, and I just wanted to know what that formula was so I could get my piece of the pie. As each week went by, I got further and further away from the values I held dear before I started my entrepreneurial journey. I found that I was making decisions based on what seemed like I had to do versus what I wanted to do. So much of my day was spent chasing "opportunities" that I darn near lost my way. I remember one day looking up and thinking, " How the heck did I get here?!? " From the outside, it looked like I've got a great business, yet on the inside, if I'm honest with myself, I don't like what I'm doing, or who I have to pretend to be to do it. Every day felt like I added one more layer to the façade. Over the years, I've bought into the belief that I needed to be something — correction someone — different than who God made me to be. I can't tell you how many clients have come to me with that monkey on their back. A new way of thinking, being, and living was an arduous journey. I knew the path I was on. It had become familiar. And I was quite comfortable with the folks in my circle. Yet this wasn't the place for me to stay if I was going to do what God had been nudging me to do all along. I remember the first time I used the word Holy Spirit in one of my marketing pieces. I waited for the backlash to come. I waited for folks to call me out on who I was, and whether I had the right to speak about God. After all, I wasn't a pastor, a preacher, or someone who held a degree in religious studies. And yet, when no backlash came… when instead, I heard “ Thank you for saying what I’ve been feeling, ” something shifted. I realized I didn’t need another strategy. I needed alignment. Both in my business and in my whole life. The truth is, you already know when something isn’t working. You feel it. It nags at you in quiet moments. It whispers that what you’re doing is no longer sustainable — and maybe never was. So, let me ask you this: If nothing changes, where will you be this time next year? Because if you're still adding 1 + 1, you'll still be getting 2. And maybe what you need isn't just a new plan, maybe you need a new path. One that doesn’t force you to abandon who you are, and instead invites you to bring more of yourself into every space you lead. If something’s stirring in you, don’t brush it off. You weren’t made for surface-level success. You were made to lead from the inside out. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to slow down before making any decision — big or small. Ask yourself: "Is this aligned with who I am and where I’m being called? Or is this just what I’ve always done?" Then choose from that place of awareness. Becoming a purpose-led leader isn’t about doing more — it’s about being intentional with every step you take. Let this practice guide you back to alignment, one decision at a time.

For a good portion of my life, I found it difficult to hear God's voice. Mostly I heard just static. Every so often, I'd listen to a song or get a nudge to do something, and mostly it was just quiet in my prayer time. In 2020, something broke open for me. I had been in a terrible place, working very hard in a few different areas. Yet, overall, I felt my life was stuck - and I wasn't making any progress anywhere. I looked at closing my business down and getting a job. My head was hurting from running into what felt like stone walls, and I was plain tired, battered, and bloodied. And I was embarrassed that I wanted to throw the towel in on things I had been working on for years. While many of the leaders I was coaching were doing well, I couldn't figure out the missing piece for where I was standing. And I was getting angry as it seemed my whole life was on the verge of one big meltdown. On a walk in my neighborhood in Virginia, I looked up at my street sign. I lived on Faith Court. The irony of God bringing me there. I decided that I would just start talking to God, and began asking Him questions as if He were walking beside me. I'd often sent clients on God walks, and today I felt this was my last hope. As fast as the questions came, so did the answers. Pieces of my life became clearer and I got an explanation of what had been going on behind the scenes when I thought God had forgotten about me. At the end of my walk, I had a re-commitment to going where God was leading even if it didn't make sense. It was profound and has led me to where I am today. Maybe you’ve felt that silence, too. That deafening quiet when you’re asking for direction, begging for clarity, and all you get is static. And maybe you’ve also been tempted to quit—to let go of what once felt certain, just because the road got too hard, too confusing, too quiet. Yet at times this silence isn’t a void, it’s an invitation. What broke open for me didn’t come from striving harder. It came from walking with God like He was right there beside me—because He was. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to ask God one real question today. Just one. Go outside. Take a walk if you can. Leave your earbuds behind. Imagine Him walking with you, then ask. Not with fear. Not with desperation. Just… ask. And listen. You might be surprised by what you hear when you stop trying to figure it all out and simply make room for Him to respond. You don’t have to get it right. You just have to get moving.