Why Successful Leaders Say Yes to “No”
Lisa Marie Platske • April 22, 2013
For the past few weeks, putting others first has been a consistent theme in my coaching sessions with clients so I thought it would be appropriate for me to share this topic today.
Plus, I’m getting ready to hop on a plane again and the challenge of saying yes to no has come up for me as well.
Is “no” is a dirty word for you? A word that sounds like profanity when it slips past your lips?
I get it.
You don’t like to disappoint people – especially the people who are closest to you — your family, your friends, and probably even your clients or your boss.
If you find yourself saying “yes” when someone asks you to do something that you don’t really want to do and know will suck the life out of you, you have just taken a detour from Success Street and peace of mind.
Why do I say that?, you ask.
Well, I know because I’m a recovering people pleaser and I’ve taken that detour myself.
I like to be liked.
It feels good to be liked.
But, if you’re serious about being a leader, getting what you want, and being recognized for who you are, then you know that being liked isn’t doesn’t necessarily get you influence or opportunity.
In fact, it’s more likely that people will say aloud or think to themselves that you are a “nice person” – and that doesn’t put money in your bank account, pay your bills, get you more clients, or that big promotion.
Maybe you are uncomfortable with conflict, and feel that saying “no” will result in disappointment or worse – the other person getting angry with you.
I get that. I was once afraid of confrontation of any kind.
Or, maybe you worry that if you say “no”, you’ll miss out on something life-changing – and regret it forever.
Yep. I’ve been there, too.
So, what happens?
You say “yes” to activities that are ultimately not in your best interest because you want people to say, “Isn’t (fill in your name) amazing? How does he/she do it?!?”
Because you’re more concerned about what others think about you, you end up overwhelmed, overcommitted, and over-full. Ultimately someone else is allowed to lead your life.
Successful leaders say “no” with ease and grace. They say it joyfully, knowing that it allows them to stay focused on where they’re going and not get sidetracked by other people’s priorities.
Here are three (3) strategies to confidently step up as the leader you were meant to be, say “no”, and resist the urge to say “yes” —
1. Be Reflective: You may remember that months ago I spoke about the power of the pause. This is when you give yourself the space to reflect and be okay with not jumping into action on-the spot. When asked if you’re available to (fill-in-the-blank), the best response is “This sounds like a great opportunity. Let me review my current commitments and get back to you.” It’s just too tempting to let, “Sure, I can do that!” slip out when the person is in front of you.
2. Be Benefit-Focused: When you take the time to think it through, ask yourself, “Is this a commitment I really want to make? What are the benefits for me? What will I be giving up?” If you know in your heart that it isn’t the best exchange of your time and the answer should be “no”, then you owe it to yourself – and the other person — to gracefully decline.
3. Be #1 in Your Life: I often share that priorities need to follow the order of health (self), family, and work. Taking care of you is your most important responsibility. When you don’t, you cannot give the best of who you are to your loved ones, clients, or colleagues. While it may be challenging, you need to make the best decisions for you, and not get sidetracked by what others might think or say.
And if you find yourself in the situation of having already made a commitment that you wish you hadn’t, be strong enough to renegotiate.
See Upside. Be Upside. Lead Upside.
The post Why Successful Leaders Say Yes to “No” appeared first on Upside Thinking.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 18, 2025
Hope isn't a strategy. You can’t hope your way into a better job, career, or business. You can’t hope your way into a better relationship. And you can’t hope your way into a better life. I've watched people who "hope" others will trust them enough to do business with them. Or hire them for their dream job. Or "hope" that the most talented people out there will want to work with them in their company. Or "hope" that the man or woman of their dreams will show up on their doorstep and ask them out. Hope is defined as a "feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." When invest time to get clear about who you are, what you want, and why it matters, it's more than just feeling your desire for something. You spent time, energy, and money creating clarity for your soul. This Upside leadership principle ensures you're not strong in only one area of your life - while being completely out of balance everywhere else. It keeps you from burning out after a year, or even a few. Because operating with clarity, confidence, and strategy ensures you get results that last. And that requires more than just hope. What kind of difference could that type of clarity make for you? If you want to be successful and profitable all areas of your life, this is the work I do so perhaps you're being called to dive in deeper to this community. Because the world needs you at your best. And hope isn’t the way to get there. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been hoping instead of leading. Where have you been waiting for a breakthrough instead of creating one? Take one decisive action today to move forward. Make the call. Send the email. Have the conversation. Do the work. Because God moves with you when you do.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 9, 2025
A few years ago, I felt as if I was on a hamster wheel in my business. It seemed as if I was in the same place every morning - and running fast. Maybe you can relate. I knew I needed someone else to take a look and see what I couldn't because I was too close to it. I sought out someone who would let me learn from their mistakes and not have to make them all on my own. That’s one of the greatest benefits of leadership coaching. Can you be a leader without it? Sure. Yet, the odds of you wildly succeeding are stacked against you for so many reasons. And the biggest one is, you will be light-years behind your competitors if you have to make all of the mistakes on your own. You can always benefit from wisdom gained through others' direct experience, thereby saving yourself a great deal of time and energy. And, you never outgrow the need for coaching. For example, although my leadership coaching and consulting give my clients insights into other industries and companies and have them consider questions they may never have thought about, I, too, have undergone gap analyses in my own business. With the help of others, over 15 months, I examined every single activity that every team member did as well as scrutinizing where my time gets INVESTED. I brought in someone to look at processes for operations, and had a firm conduct a financial audit. We re-wrote SOP's (standard operating procedures), streamlined systems, and eliminated duplication. Some of the questions that I asked were: ~ Is this the simplest way to do this? ~ Is this (action, system, app, etc.) truly needed to run the business? ~ Is everyone on the team committed to the mission, values, and vision of Upside Thinking? ~ What can be automated or done differently? ~ What am I missing? While I talk to business owners almost every day with these questions in mind, it was an interesting journey to do this for me and my business and understand how important it is to ensure the people around me are involved in the process despite this being my area of expertise. Sometimes you can’t see what’s in front of you on your own. You have to be willing to see a new perspective. And then you have to be willing to do something about it. Sometimes, you need to step out of your current environment completely to gain the perspective you’re missing. That’s why I create spaces where leaders can reflect, and recalibrate. If this resonates with you, consider signing up for a Private, Leadership Retreat Day at Summit Hills Farm in Richmond, Kentucky. Our Spring and Fall Upside Retreats are already sold out. And I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. Make a plan to reset, gain clarity, and step fully into what’s next for you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to be committed to personal development, understanding you can't see what's getting in the way on your own. So, where in your business or life do you need outside perspective? Be open to taking action to get the answers needed to move forward with greater ease. Remember, you’re here for a reason… …and the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 1, 2025
That’s the question, isn’t it? If we’re connected, you’re probably not someone who settles. You stretch yourself regularly, and you know there’s always more to do and be. Yet even the most conscious leaders can fall into the comfort of what’s familiar. It’s easy to mistake movement for progress, busyness for impact, and routine for purpose. Settling doesn’t always look like giving up, it often looks like: ~ Saying “yes” to things that keep you busy and yet you don’t move you forward ... ~ Downplaying your vision because it feels too big or uncertain ... ~ Waiting for clarity instead of creating it through action ... ~ Feeling restless yet unsure how to break through ... It’s not a lack of ambition. Rather, it’s a lack of space to recalibrate, strategize, and listen to what’s next. Stretching requires intention. It means: ~ Surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to expand ~ Creating space for deep, strategic thinking ~ Taking bold action even when the path isn’t fully mapped out ~ Bringing God into the process so you’re aligned, not just accomplished I used to wonder where leaders -- those who wanted to change the world -- went to do this kind of work, to breathe life into their vision and build their next level. When I couldn’t find it, I built it. A space for those who refuse to settle for “someday.” Because when you decide to stretch into your highest calling, clarity follows. And when you surround yourself with others who are doing the same, transformation happens. Where are you stretching next? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been holding back, whether it’s speaking up, taking a bold step, or committing fully to your vision, Then take one action today to stretch beyond it. Growth happens when you move past comfort. And the miracle happens after you take the leap of faith.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 26, 2025
Everyone wants success, yet few are willing to take the steps required to make it happen. The difference between those who wish for more and those who create it comes down to one thing — moving from belief to bold, faith-filled action. Napoleon Hill famously wrote in PMA: Science of Success Course that "The majority of people never discover the difference between wishing and believing; nor do they recognize that there are six steps which people usually follow in using their mind-power for the attainment of their desires. These steps are: First: Wishing or having wishes. The vast majority of people go through life by merely wishing for things. The percentage of people who stop at wishing is estimated to be 70%. Second: Developing wishes into desires. A much smaller percentage of the people develop their wishes into desires. These are estimated at 10%. Third: Developing wishes and desires into hopes. A still smaller percentage, estimated to be 8%, develop their wishes and desires into hopes. Fourth: Use mind-power to form hopes into beliefs. A still smaller percentage, estimated at only 6%, apply their mind-power up to do this step. Fifth: Crystallize wishes, desires, hopes, and beliefs into burning desire and faith. A very much smaller percentage of people, 4%, get this far in transforming their initial wishes. Sixth: Put faith into action by (1) planning and (2) carrying out those plans. The percentage of people who take the last two steps, putting their faith into action, is estimated to be only 2%. The outstanding leaders in every walk of life are the ones who carry on through each step and reach the sixth. They are a small group who recognize the power of their own minds, take possession of that power, and direct it to whatever ends they choose. To these people, the word impossible has no truth to it—no relevance to their lives. To them, everything they want or need is possible, and they manage to get it or make it happen." To quote Napoleon Hill, "The only trait which differentiates them from most of the others who accept failure as their lot, is that they recognize and use their mind's power for the attainment of the circumstances and things they want while the others do not. " I believe that this process, this use of my mind, and the power of my intention are how I ended up with a farm, barn, caretaker's cottage, and an event center. When you surround yourself with the right environment and take intentional steps forward, the shift from wishing to action becomes easier. That’s why I created the Upside Retreat , a space designed to help purpose-led leaders move beyond possibility and into reality. You were created with the power to bring your vision to life. Every desire placed on your heart is there for a reason, and it's your responsibility to move it forward. Action, guided by faith, is what creates transformation. So trust the process. Lean into what’s possible. And take the next step. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to recognize where you started with a wish and went through all six steps to bring it into action or being. If you cannot find an example, start today. Commit to persevering, to ignoring the concept of impossible. Whether you are celebrating a past success or starting anew, strengthen your mind-muscle around developing wishes through beliefs to faith to fruition. Go shine your light. Because the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 18, 2025
Hope isn't a strategy. You can’t hope your way into a better job, career, or business. You can’t hope your way into a better relationship. And you can’t hope your way into a better life. I've watched people who "hope" others will trust them enough to do business with them. Or hire them for their dream job. Or "hope" that the most talented people out there will want to work with them in their company. Or "hope" that the man or woman of their dreams will show up on their doorstep and ask them out. Hope is defined as a "feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." When invest time to get clear about who you are, what you want, and why it matters, it's more than just feeling your desire for something. You spent time, energy, and money creating clarity for your soul. This Upside leadership principle ensures you're not strong in only one area of your life - while being completely out of balance everywhere else. It keeps you from burning out after a year, or even a few. Because operating with clarity, confidence, and strategy ensures you get results that last. And that requires more than just hope. What kind of difference could that type of clarity make for you? If you want to be successful and profitable all areas of your life, this is the work I do so perhaps you're being called to dive in deeper to this community. Because the world needs you at your best. And hope isn’t the way to get there. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been hoping instead of leading. Where have you been waiting for a breakthrough instead of creating one? Take one decisive action today to move forward. Make the call. Send the email. Have the conversation. Do the work. Because God moves with you when you do.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 9, 2025
A few years ago, I felt as if I was on a hamster wheel in my business. It seemed as if I was in the same place every morning - and running fast. Maybe you can relate. I knew I needed someone else to take a look and see what I couldn't because I was too close to it. I sought out someone who would let me learn from their mistakes and not have to make them all on my own. That’s one of the greatest benefits of leadership coaching. Can you be a leader without it? Sure. Yet, the odds of you wildly succeeding are stacked against you for so many reasons. And the biggest one is, you will be light-years behind your competitors if you have to make all of the mistakes on your own. You can always benefit from wisdom gained through others' direct experience, thereby saving yourself a great deal of time and energy. And, you never outgrow the need for coaching. For example, although my leadership coaching and consulting give my clients insights into other industries and companies and have them consider questions they may never have thought about, I, too, have undergone gap analyses in my own business. With the help of others, over 15 months, I examined every single activity that every team member did as well as scrutinizing where my time gets INVESTED. I brought in someone to look at processes for operations, and had a firm conduct a financial audit. We re-wrote SOP's (standard operating procedures), streamlined systems, and eliminated duplication. Some of the questions that I asked were: ~ Is this the simplest way to do this? ~ Is this (action, system, app, etc.) truly needed to run the business? ~ Is everyone on the team committed to the mission, values, and vision of Upside Thinking? ~ What can be automated or done differently? ~ What am I missing? While I talk to business owners almost every day with these questions in mind, it was an interesting journey to do this for me and my business and understand how important it is to ensure the people around me are involved in the process despite this being my area of expertise. Sometimes you can’t see what’s in front of you on your own. You have to be willing to see a new perspective. And then you have to be willing to do something about it. Sometimes, you need to step out of your current environment completely to gain the perspective you’re missing. That’s why I create spaces where leaders can reflect, and recalibrate. If this resonates with you, consider signing up for a Private, Leadership Retreat Day at Summit Hills Farm in Richmond, Kentucky. Our Spring and Fall Upside Retreats are already sold out. And I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. Make a plan to reset, gain clarity, and step fully into what’s next for you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to be committed to personal development, understanding you can't see what's getting in the way on your own. So, where in your business or life do you need outside perspective? Be open to taking action to get the answers needed to move forward with greater ease. Remember, you’re here for a reason… …and the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 1, 2025
That’s the question, isn’t it? If we’re connected, you’re probably not someone who settles. You stretch yourself regularly, and you know there’s always more to do and be. Yet even the most conscious leaders can fall into the comfort of what’s familiar. It’s easy to mistake movement for progress, busyness for impact, and routine for purpose. Settling doesn’t always look like giving up, it often looks like: ~ Saying “yes” to things that keep you busy and yet you don’t move you forward ... ~ Downplaying your vision because it feels too big or uncertain ... ~ Waiting for clarity instead of creating it through action ... ~ Feeling restless yet unsure how to break through ... It’s not a lack of ambition. Rather, it’s a lack of space to recalibrate, strategize, and listen to what’s next. Stretching requires intention. It means: ~ Surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to expand ~ Creating space for deep, strategic thinking ~ Taking bold action even when the path isn’t fully mapped out ~ Bringing God into the process so you’re aligned, not just accomplished I used to wonder where leaders -- those who wanted to change the world -- went to do this kind of work, to breathe life into their vision and build their next level. When I couldn’t find it, I built it. A space for those who refuse to settle for “someday.” Because when you decide to stretch into your highest calling, clarity follows. And when you surround yourself with others who are doing the same, transformation happens. Where are you stretching next? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been holding back, whether it’s speaking up, taking a bold step, or committing fully to your vision, Then take one action today to stretch beyond it. Growth happens when you move past comfort. And the miracle happens after you take the leap of faith.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 26, 2025
Everyone wants success, yet few are willing to take the steps required to make it happen. The difference between those who wish for more and those who create it comes down to one thing — moving from belief to bold, faith-filled action. Napoleon Hill famously wrote in PMA: Science of Success Course that "The majority of people never discover the difference between wishing and believing; nor do they recognize that there are six steps which people usually follow in using their mind-power for the attainment of their desires. These steps are: First: Wishing or having wishes. The vast majority of people go through life by merely wishing for things. The percentage of people who stop at wishing is estimated to be 70%. Second: Developing wishes into desires. A much smaller percentage of the people develop their wishes into desires. These are estimated at 10%. Third: Developing wishes and desires into hopes. A still smaller percentage, estimated to be 8%, develop their wishes and desires into hopes. Fourth: Use mind-power to form hopes into beliefs. A still smaller percentage, estimated at only 6%, apply their mind-power up to do this step. Fifth: Crystallize wishes, desires, hopes, and beliefs into burning desire and faith. A very much smaller percentage of people, 4%, get this far in transforming their initial wishes. Sixth: Put faith into action by (1) planning and (2) carrying out those plans. The percentage of people who take the last two steps, putting their faith into action, is estimated to be only 2%. The outstanding leaders in every walk of life are the ones who carry on through each step and reach the sixth. They are a small group who recognize the power of their own minds, take possession of that power, and direct it to whatever ends they choose. To these people, the word impossible has no truth to it—no relevance to their lives. To them, everything they want or need is possible, and they manage to get it or make it happen." To quote Napoleon Hill, "The only trait which differentiates them from most of the others who accept failure as their lot, is that they recognize and use their mind's power for the attainment of the circumstances and things they want while the others do not. " I believe that this process, this use of my mind, and the power of my intention are how I ended up with a farm, barn, caretaker's cottage, and an event center. When you surround yourself with the right environment and take intentional steps forward, the shift from wishing to action becomes easier. That’s why I created the Upside Retreat , a space designed to help purpose-led leaders move beyond possibility and into reality. You were created with the power to bring your vision to life. Every desire placed on your heart is there for a reason, and it's your responsibility to move it forward. Action, guided by faith, is what creates transformation. So trust the process. Lean into what’s possible. And take the next step. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to recognize where you started with a wish and went through all six steps to bring it into action or being. If you cannot find an example, start today. Commit to persevering, to ignoring the concept of impossible. Whether you are celebrating a past success or starting anew, strengthen your mind-muscle around developing wishes through beliefs to faith to fruition. Go shine your light. Because the world needs you and your brilliance.
