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Unspoken Qualities that Create Partnership through Leadership

Lisa Marie Platske • September 30, 2024

Pillar #3 in my 7 Pillars of Leadership is all about building partnerships.


Why?


Because connection is a form of currency – and partnerships give you the ability to leverage your gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences.


If you want to move through life with ease and peace – and make the work you do more fulfilling, you don’t go it alone.


The children’s story ‘Stone Soup’ depicts the concept beautifully, illustrating the skills and qualities of exceptional leadership.


I’ve added my commentary in parentheses to emphasize who he is being - and where the qualities of empathy, inspiration, compassion, generosity, and connection are all present. Read how he paints a vision ... and brings it to life.


“Once upon a time, a wise old man decided to go on a journey.


So he packed a small bag, said goodbye to his wife, and set off. He traveled all day without meeting anyone.


When it was evening, he came to a small village. “I think I’ll stop here for the night,” he said to himself.


Near the center of the village, he met a group of people.


So he introduced himself. “I’m a simple traveler,” he said, “looking for a safe place to sleep and a hot meal.” 


(The traveler is wise, yet unassuming.)


“We’d be glad to offer you a place to sleep,” the villagers told him, “but we have very little food.


Our crops were very poor this year, and there’s not much to eat in the whole village. Most of us are just barely getting by.”


“I’m sorry to hear that,” the old man said. “But you needn’t worry about feeding me. I already have everything I need. In fact, I was thinking of making some stone soup to share with all of you.”


(He listens, soothes the villagers’ worries, and offers to be of help with a specific act of generosity that he can do.)


“Stone soup?” the villagers asked. “What’s that? We’ve never heard of stone soup.”


“Oh, it’s wonderful,” said the old man. “Best soup I’ve ever tasted. If you bring me a soup pot and some water, I’ll make some for all of us.” 


(He is positive, generous, and offers a vision of hope.)


And so the villagers rushed back to their homes. When they returned, one was carrying a large soup pot, another had wood for a fire, and others brought water.

When the fire was going and the water had begun to boil, the old man took out a small silk pouch.


With great ceremony, he reached in and pulled out a smooth, round stone. He carefully dropped the stone into the boiling water.


The villagers watched eagerly. The old man began to slowly stir the pot, sniffing the aroma and licking his lips in anticipation. “I do like a tasty stone soup,” he said. “Of course, stone soup with cabbage—now that’s really special.” (He gently guides them, inspires them with what might be to come.)


“I might be able to find a bit of cabbage,” one villager said. And off she went to her house, returning with a small cabbage she had stored away in her pantry.


“Wonderful!” said the old man, as he added the cabbage to the pot. “This reminds me of the time I had stone soup with cabbage and a bit of salted beef. It was unbelievably good.”


(From his suggestions, individuals voluntarily step forward, taking action, doing their part to contribute to the effort.)


After a moment of silence, the village butcher spoke up. “I know where there’s a bit of salted beef,” he said. And off he went to his shop to get it.


When he returned, the old man added the beef to the soup pot and continued to stir. 


(And, again, in reflection, an individual thinks of what he can offer, and goes to follow through on his commitment.)


“Can you imagine what this soup would taste like if we had a bit of onion…and perhaps a few potatoes…and a carrot or two…and some mushrooms. Oh, this would be a meal fit for royalty.” 


(With each step, the wise man adds idea and paints details to the vision so that it becomes more clear and thus inspiring. He creates momentum.) 


And before he knew it, the soup pot was filled to the brim with vegetables of all kinds— carrots and potatoes, mushrooms and onions, turnips and green beans, beets and celery—all brought by the men and women and children of the village.


Not only that, but the village baker came out with some fresh bread and butter.


And as the soup simmered slowly over the fire, the wonderful aroma began to waft over the villagers. And they began to relax and talk together, sharing songs and stories and jokes. 


(Together, a magnificent meal is “built” seemingly from what had been believed to be, “little” to eat, and so many struggling to get by.


He reduced their sense of worry and impoverishment, showing them the wealth they had in working together. )


When the soup was finally done, the old man ladled it out into bowls, and they all shared a delicious meal together.


There was more than enough for everyone to eat their fill.


Afterward, they all declared that it was the best soup they had ever tasted.


The mayor of the village pulled the old man aside, and quietly offered him a great deal of money for the magic stone, but the old man refused to sell it. 


(The wise man creates and enjoys the collective effort, and does not take unfair advantage of his leadership. He keeps to the initial contract – a request for lodging and a hot meal.)


The next morning, he woke early and packed up his belongings.


As he was leaving the village, he passed by a group of children playing at the side of the road. He handed the youngest one the silk pouch containing the stone, and he whispered, “It was not the stone that performed the magic. It was all of us together.” 


(He passes along wisdom, giving it freely and joyfully so that others may benefit after he's is gone. He leaves behind a modest, empowering legacy.)


The qualities and skills demonstrated in the story of the Stone Soup are deceptively simple. Partnership, Connection, and Community.


Sometimes you have to unlearn what you've been taught ... and write a new story to remember the power of partnership


ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to reflect on when and where you have made stone soup in your business or community.


Gather your partners up.


Decide on a recipe.


Make something delicious. Because the world needs you and your brilliance.


By Lisa Marie Platske November 14, 2024
What do you wish you had more of? ~ Time? ~ Energy? ~ Money? ~ Sex? ~ Intimacy? ~ Faith? ~ Organization? ~ Trust? ~ Love? How you answer these questions gives you information about the next right action to take in your life …because you can’t move towards what you want if you can’t clearly identify what it is. You can’t fix what’s not working if you’re not clear on what is working or where you’re headed. See, most people have a CLARITY issue(s) in their life or business. This is the necessary superpower to build a VISION... which is one of the 3 elements of being a leader worth following. Lack of it is also one of the biggest reasons why businesses fail. Lots of people think they’re clear. Phrases such as: ~ Make money ~ Financial freedom ~ Generational wealth are ambiguous. And you can't take action and be “mostly committed". That phrase is an oxymoron. (interestingly, the word oxymoron is from the root word "moros" meaning, "foolish") You are either committed or not. Real clarity comes from doing the work to EMBODY what you want – after you decide what that is. Live your commitment in the form of action. For me, it's all about living out my Divine mission, purpose, and calling. To create a focused plan to achieve what you want, you have to see it, smell it, taste it, hear it, touch it, and feel it. Most people only have a vague idea of what they want. Very vague. And, from this place, they will create what I like to call a “loose strategy" or "lose strategy"... because you can’t win BIG when you're vague. When pressed about where they’re headed, they give generic answers that sound like gibberish… or perhaps tell you a rote story they’ve repeated 100 times that means nothing. Clarity is something that oozes out from you. When you are clear on where you’re going, your level of FOCUS is very high... ... so that the WHY, the deep motivation that drives where you're going has you morph and integrate into what you’re moving towards before it becomes a reality. This is how your vision, when it comes to fruition, includes you in it. That’s what happened last week when I was at the range. I was clear about the outcome – and laser-focused on my why. It also happens in my business every morning when I open my eyes...as I'm crystal clear on my target, ready to take focused action. If there are items on your list right now that you want more of...increase your FOCUS to get CLEARER. Identify your WHY and map out your strategic plan on how to get there – wherever your envisioned "there" is. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify some of your ambiguous language around what you want. Get clear on what you REALLY want. See it, hear it, smell it, taste it, touch it in your mind's eye. Practice refining the vision daily. Take steps accordingly. Your time is now. The world needs you and your brilliance, now more than ever. Go shine your light.
By Lisa Marie Platske November 4, 2024
What keeps most folks stuck isn’t what you’d expect. When I talk to other leaders, fear doesn’t even make the top 3. Did you know that lack of focus is the #1 killer of health, happiness, success, and meaning? Isn’t that incredible?! You’ve got to have clarity, with a dose of courage, to create anything worthwhile. Ask me how I know. I’d been on a merry-go-round, going in circles... until I chose to give 100% of my energy to my divine mission. Then, things came together like gorilla glue and plastic. And because I work with folks who are often standing at a crossroads, this realization can be debilitating, paralyzing, or freeing — yes, freeing. Most leaders want to improve. And to do better, you also need to understand where your people feel stuck. After focus is dialed in, the next hurdle is belief . Many struggle with the confidence to trust in themselves and their ability to create success. Isn’t that crazy?! It all comes down to trust. Trust in the ability to learn something new and then go achieve it. Yet most people confuse a lack of belief with the fear of failing. Very few people are truly afraid of failure. Everyone fails at something every day. That’s not the issue. The real challenge is believing and trusting that when you get it wrong, you’ve got the ability to try again and succeed next time. And that it will be different. That’s why I openly share my losses and wins with clients and on stage — because no one gets it right every day. The courage to keep moving forward without shame is rare. The third thing that keeps people stuck is a lack of connection . I’ve written several books on this topic. Over the years, I’ve met so many folks who struggle with relationships. They have too few friends or surround themselves with people who don’t challenge them to be better. Your immediate circle drives whether you’ll lose or win at just about everything. As someone who minored in sociology in college, I’ve read countless studies on how your life outcomes are determined by the company you keep. Lastly, lack of partnershi p quietly kills a meaningful life. You’ve got to have a partner on your personal growth journey — someone you can rely on to be impartial and who’s got your back. When I work with clients, I tell them they can borrow my belief in them whenever they’re struggling. And, together, we move forward. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to take 15 minutes to identify one area where you feel stuck—whether it’s in your health, relationships, or career—and ask yourself if the root cause is really fear, or if it’s something deeper like lack of focus, belief, or connection. Choose one of these areas to improve and take one bold step forward: remove a distraction if focus is the issue, remind yourself of a past success to boost belief, or reach out to someone who can support your journey if you’re lacking connection. Notice the shift and see what breakthroughs follow.
By Lisa Marie Platske October 21, 2024
When Jim and I lived in California, we would drive to San Diego to watch football and play poker on Sunday afternoon with his friends. Watching a player go “all in” inspires me. Witnessing that moment when their RESOLVE and DETERMINATION come together, and they put all of their potential winnings on the line fascinates me. We all get the opportunity to do that every day. When you wholeheartedly COMMIT to your MISSION and CALLING, just like that poker move, you take a stand for what matters most to you. It’s a statement to the world that you’re willing to RISK IT ALL for the end result –> the fulfillment of your VISION. “ It is always your next move. ” - Napoleon Hill Regardless of your attitude or intention, the critical element in that statement is MOVE. Take ACTION. Going “all in” in poker is a BIG move - a POWER move. It can be risky - and it’s also one of the fastest ways to grow your winnings. Now, I’m not claiming to be an expert poker player. However, I have grown into being a masterful RISK TAKER which has increased my WINNINGS and produced rich rewards in my personal and professional life. Rather than saying “yes” to a comfortable life, taking the safe route, which would be easy-peasy, I often choose the ROAD LESS TRAVELED. - Moving from a slow-moving suburban area in Pennsylvania to the hustle and bustle of the NY Metropolitan area - Stepping out of a job in banking and creating a career in Federal law enforcement - Accepting assignments in my law enforcement career in various states and Puerto Rico, as well as a detail teaching at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center - Leaving the safety net of steady income to open a business - Uprooting every 5 years on average and never living anywhere longer than 9 years My list could go on and on… How about you? When given an opportunity, do you take a RISK? Are you willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES going “ALL IN” to live out your mission & calling and to step into your big VISION? Risk-taking leads to GROWTH and POSSIBILITY – and diving into once-in-a-lifetime OPPORTUNITIES. I’ve never looked back at what I’ve done and regretted making a move, even when it didn’t turn out the way I envisioned. The truth is not whether you will die; it is whether you will decide to LIVE. Accept life’s challenges and risks as opportunities and doorways leading to a life filled with HAPPINESS, SUCCESS, and MEANING. Not sure where to start? 1 - Read a book outside your area of immediate interest. 2 - Hire the right coach to guide you. 3 - Accept an invitation to do something that makes you uncomfortable to expand your horizons. Leading Upside is about finding the possibilities in EVERYTHING you do in life. Practice saying “YES,” and then commit to going “ALL IN”. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify three actions that feel risky, uncomfortable, or bold. Take one each week for the next three weeks. Seek support to follow through if needed. Track the possibilities, opportunities, and outcomes that these actions produce. ( Suggestion: For tracking, you can use a spreadsheet, calendar, or journal. ) Remember, life is CHANGE. Growth is optional. Choose wisely. The world needs you and your brilliance. Now more than ever.
By Lisa Marie Platske October 7, 2024
We’ve all been there—those moments when life feels overwhelming, when no matter what we do, it seems like the challenges just keep piling up. It’s easy to get caught in the spiral of thinking that the difficulty is never going to end. Here's the truth: no problem is permanent . Things will shift, evolve, and change—sometimes in ways we can't yet see. In those heavy moments, it’s essential to give yourself space. When was the last time you truly paused, to simply be? There’s wisdom in allowing yourself a break. Whether you prefer quiet reflection or a peaceful walk in nature, creating that space for yourself is crucial. One of the most powerful things you can do is take a step back from the situation and surrender it to something greater than yourself. Sometimes, this means being still and allowing yourself to listen—to your heart, to your inner wisdom, or to God's guidance. Whether it’s through taking a quiet moment of stillness or going on what I like to call a "God walk," spending time in nature can be incredibly healing. Walking in the fresh air, surrounded by the beauty of creation, helps you reconnect with something larger than yourself. It shifts your perspective, reminding you that life is fluid—that even the toughest storms will eventually pass. So, if you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, try this: go outside. Take a deep breath, feel the ground beneath your feet, and just be. Let the sounds of nature—birds singing, the wind through the trees—quiet your thoughts. And in that quietness, listen. Listen for what your heart is telling you, and listen for God's voice reminding you that there’s always a plan in motion. There's a Divine plan at work in your life, one that’s bigger and more beautiful than you can ever imagine. You have something unique to offer—something that no one else can bring. Your brilliance shines brighter than you might realize, especially in times of difficulty. So, even on the days when it feels like the world is heavy and your problems are too big, know this: the world is waiting for you to show up and share your gifts. Take heart. No problem is permanent. God’s plan is bigger than your imagination, and you are exactly where you need to be. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to step back from the busyness and give yourself space to shift your perspective. Spend at least 15 minutes in nature—whether walking, sitting, or just being still. Focus on being fully present. Pay attention to what comes up—ideas, feelings, or a sense of peace. Trust that guidance is unfolding for you. After your time in nature, jot down any insights or shifts you noticed. How has this helped you see things differently? Remember, no problem is permanent—solutions often come when we give ourselves the space to receive them.
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By Lisa Marie Platske November 14, 2024
What do you wish you had more of? ~ Time? ~ Energy? ~ Money? ~ Sex? ~ Intimacy? ~ Faith? ~ Organization? ~ Trust? ~ Love? How you answer these questions gives you information about the next right action to take in your life …because you can’t move towards what you want if you can’t clearly identify what it is. You can’t fix what’s not working if you’re not clear on what is working or where you’re headed. See, most people have a CLARITY issue(s) in their life or business. This is the necessary superpower to build a VISION... which is one of the 3 elements of being a leader worth following. Lack of it is also one of the biggest reasons why businesses fail. Lots of people think they’re clear. Phrases such as: ~ Make money ~ Financial freedom ~ Generational wealth are ambiguous. And you can't take action and be “mostly committed". That phrase is an oxymoron. (interestingly, the word oxymoron is from the root word "moros" meaning, "foolish") You are either committed or not. Real clarity comes from doing the work to EMBODY what you want – after you decide what that is. Live your commitment in the form of action. For me, it's all about living out my Divine mission, purpose, and calling. To create a focused plan to achieve what you want, you have to see it, smell it, taste it, hear it, touch it, and feel it. Most people only have a vague idea of what they want. Very vague. And, from this place, they will create what I like to call a “loose strategy" or "lose strategy"... because you can’t win BIG when you're vague. When pressed about where they’re headed, they give generic answers that sound like gibberish… or perhaps tell you a rote story they’ve repeated 100 times that means nothing. Clarity is something that oozes out from you. When you are clear on where you’re going, your level of FOCUS is very high... ... so that the WHY, the deep motivation that drives where you're going has you morph and integrate into what you’re moving towards before it becomes a reality. This is how your vision, when it comes to fruition, includes you in it. That’s what happened last week when I was at the range. I was clear about the outcome – and laser-focused on my why. It also happens in my business every morning when I open my eyes...as I'm crystal clear on my target, ready to take focused action. If there are items on your list right now that you want more of...increase your FOCUS to get CLEARER. Identify your WHY and map out your strategic plan on how to get there – wherever your envisioned "there" is. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify some of your ambiguous language around what you want. Get clear on what you REALLY want. See it, hear it, smell it, taste it, touch it in your mind's eye. Practice refining the vision daily. Take steps accordingly. Your time is now. The world needs you and your brilliance, now more than ever. Go shine your light.
By Lisa Marie Platske November 4, 2024
What keeps most folks stuck isn’t what you’d expect. When I talk to other leaders, fear doesn’t even make the top 3. Did you know that lack of focus is the #1 killer of health, happiness, success, and meaning? Isn’t that incredible?! You’ve got to have clarity, with a dose of courage, to create anything worthwhile. Ask me how I know. I’d been on a merry-go-round, going in circles... until I chose to give 100% of my energy to my divine mission. Then, things came together like gorilla glue and plastic. And because I work with folks who are often standing at a crossroads, this realization can be debilitating, paralyzing, or freeing — yes, freeing. Most leaders want to improve. And to do better, you also need to understand where your people feel stuck. After focus is dialed in, the next hurdle is belief . Many struggle with the confidence to trust in themselves and their ability to create success. Isn’t that crazy?! It all comes down to trust. Trust in the ability to learn something new and then go achieve it. Yet most people confuse a lack of belief with the fear of failing. Very few people are truly afraid of failure. Everyone fails at something every day. That’s not the issue. The real challenge is believing and trusting that when you get it wrong, you’ve got the ability to try again and succeed next time. And that it will be different. That’s why I openly share my losses and wins with clients and on stage — because no one gets it right every day. The courage to keep moving forward without shame is rare. The third thing that keeps people stuck is a lack of connection . I’ve written several books on this topic. Over the years, I’ve met so many folks who struggle with relationships. They have too few friends or surround themselves with people who don’t challenge them to be better. Your immediate circle drives whether you’ll lose or win at just about everything. As someone who minored in sociology in college, I’ve read countless studies on how your life outcomes are determined by the company you keep. Lastly, lack of partnershi p quietly kills a meaningful life. You’ve got to have a partner on your personal growth journey — someone you can rely on to be impartial and who’s got your back. When I work with clients, I tell them they can borrow my belief in them whenever they’re struggling. And, together, we move forward. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to take 15 minutes to identify one area where you feel stuck—whether it’s in your health, relationships, or career—and ask yourself if the root cause is really fear, or if it’s something deeper like lack of focus, belief, or connection. Choose one of these areas to improve and take one bold step forward: remove a distraction if focus is the issue, remind yourself of a past success to boost belief, or reach out to someone who can support your journey if you’re lacking connection. Notice the shift and see what breakthroughs follow.
By Lisa Marie Platske October 21, 2024
When Jim and I lived in California, we would drive to San Diego to watch football and play poker on Sunday afternoon with his friends. Watching a player go “all in” inspires me. Witnessing that moment when their RESOLVE and DETERMINATION come together, and they put all of their potential winnings on the line fascinates me. We all get the opportunity to do that every day. When you wholeheartedly COMMIT to your MISSION and CALLING, just like that poker move, you take a stand for what matters most to you. It’s a statement to the world that you’re willing to RISK IT ALL for the end result –> the fulfillment of your VISION. “ It is always your next move. ” - Napoleon Hill Regardless of your attitude or intention, the critical element in that statement is MOVE. Take ACTION. Going “all in” in poker is a BIG move - a POWER move. It can be risky - and it’s also one of the fastest ways to grow your winnings. Now, I’m not claiming to be an expert poker player. However, I have grown into being a masterful RISK TAKER which has increased my WINNINGS and produced rich rewards in my personal and professional life. Rather than saying “yes” to a comfortable life, taking the safe route, which would be easy-peasy, I often choose the ROAD LESS TRAVELED. - Moving from a slow-moving suburban area in Pennsylvania to the hustle and bustle of the NY Metropolitan area - Stepping out of a job in banking and creating a career in Federal law enforcement - Accepting assignments in my law enforcement career in various states and Puerto Rico, as well as a detail teaching at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center - Leaving the safety net of steady income to open a business - Uprooting every 5 years on average and never living anywhere longer than 9 years My list could go on and on… How about you? When given an opportunity, do you take a RISK? Are you willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES going “ALL IN” to live out your mission & calling and to step into your big VISION? Risk-taking leads to GROWTH and POSSIBILITY – and diving into once-in-a-lifetime OPPORTUNITIES. I’ve never looked back at what I’ve done and regretted making a move, even when it didn’t turn out the way I envisioned. The truth is not whether you will die; it is whether you will decide to LIVE. Accept life’s challenges and risks as opportunities and doorways leading to a life filled with HAPPINESS, SUCCESS, and MEANING. Not sure where to start? 1 - Read a book outside your area of immediate interest. 2 - Hire the right coach to guide you. 3 - Accept an invitation to do something that makes you uncomfortable to expand your horizons. Leading Upside is about finding the possibilities in EVERYTHING you do in life. Practice saying “YES,” and then commit to going “ALL IN”. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify three actions that feel risky, uncomfortable, or bold. Take one each week for the next three weeks. Seek support to follow through if needed. Track the possibilities, opportunities, and outcomes that these actions produce. ( Suggestion: For tracking, you can use a spreadsheet, calendar, or journal. ) Remember, life is CHANGE. Growth is optional. Choose wisely. The world needs you and your brilliance. Now more than ever.
By Lisa Marie Platske October 7, 2024
We’ve all been there—those moments when life feels overwhelming, when no matter what we do, it seems like the challenges just keep piling up. It’s easy to get caught in the spiral of thinking that the difficulty is never going to end. Here's the truth: no problem is permanent . Things will shift, evolve, and change—sometimes in ways we can't yet see. In those heavy moments, it’s essential to give yourself space. When was the last time you truly paused, to simply be? There’s wisdom in allowing yourself a break. Whether you prefer quiet reflection or a peaceful walk in nature, creating that space for yourself is crucial. One of the most powerful things you can do is take a step back from the situation and surrender it to something greater than yourself. Sometimes, this means being still and allowing yourself to listen—to your heart, to your inner wisdom, or to God's guidance. Whether it’s through taking a quiet moment of stillness or going on what I like to call a "God walk," spending time in nature can be incredibly healing. Walking in the fresh air, surrounded by the beauty of creation, helps you reconnect with something larger than yourself. It shifts your perspective, reminding you that life is fluid—that even the toughest storms will eventually pass. So, if you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, try this: go outside. Take a deep breath, feel the ground beneath your feet, and just be. Let the sounds of nature—birds singing, the wind through the trees—quiet your thoughts. And in that quietness, listen. Listen for what your heart is telling you, and listen for God's voice reminding you that there’s always a plan in motion. There's a Divine plan at work in your life, one that’s bigger and more beautiful than you can ever imagine. You have something unique to offer—something that no one else can bring. Your brilliance shines brighter than you might realize, especially in times of difficulty. So, even on the days when it feels like the world is heavy and your problems are too big, know this: the world is waiting for you to show up and share your gifts. Take heart. No problem is permanent. God’s plan is bigger than your imagination, and you are exactly where you need to be. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to step back from the busyness and give yourself space to shift your perspective. Spend at least 15 minutes in nature—whether walking, sitting, or just being still. Focus on being fully present. Pay attention to what comes up—ideas, feelings, or a sense of peace. Trust that guidance is unfolding for you. After your time in nature, jot down any insights or shifts you noticed. How has this helped you see things differently? Remember, no problem is permanent—solutions often come when we give ourselves the space to receive them.
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