What is Beingness in Leadership?
Lisa Marie Platske • March 12, 2019
Upside coach and emotional resilience and communications expert, Suzanne Dudley-Schon shares her brilliance in this week’s Upside Thought. Suzanne understands that the beingness of leadership matters more than the doingness of leadership.
You can take all of the tactical leadership actions that generate success and not be a leader worth following. This week, she’s written about that “beingness” and how an upside leader can gain those skills – a great topic!
Happy Reading!
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Leadership is more than holding a degree, having expertise in a particular field, or telling people what to do.
The more subtle and equally important skills of leadership are about the seemingly intangible qualities. Lisa Marie Platske uses the phrase, “beingness,” to capture the combined essence of such skills.
Beingness includes emotional intelligence, the use of vulnerability to good effect, and strength of character. This last quality, rather than being about forcefulness is really a steadiness that comes from an unshakable commitment to living one’s values and principles.
What actions are representative of “beingness” and how might they be of use when running your business or showing up as a leader? In more plain language, what does “beingness” look like at work?
Under the banner of “beingness” is the leadership skill of courageous vulnerability. It’s not revealing your darkest secrets, being a hot mess, or painting a target on your chest. Vulnerability, at its core, is about connecting on a heart level.
Often it involves intentional sharing. Sharing with a purpose. That purpose may be to be create connection through empathy and common ground. It’s the feeling of, “Yep, I understand and here’s a time when I felt similarly.”
Exemplify humanity and let people realize you make mistakes too. As a leader you might share a story of a time when you struggled, learned, and overcame a difficulty– or what shaped you on your journey. These stories can inspire and reveal more of the substance that people connect with on a human level–one without titles.
When you as a leader share your journey it can provide the kind of light touch that allows the listener to see their own strengths. It can motivate indirectly and powerfully. It gives space to step into. By holding up the light of inspiration a leader shows the way, trusting their followers can and will dig deep within, be resourceful, and rise to meet a challenge.
Courageous vulnerability may also come in the form of curiosity and willingness to be open… open to different views that may be in direct opposition to your own. This demonstrates safety, permission, and acceptance that is founded on respect. After all, if someone only agrees with you out of fear, how durable and safe is the relationship?
As for strength of character, this skill is evident often in the “background” of conduct. For instance, if there is an enduring problem that requires long term commitment, strength of character is revealed in perseverance and tenacity. In not giving up or giving in. It shows up when you resist the urge to cave, get reactive, give up, or take short cuts that don’t ultimately serve.
Strength of character is expressed in crucible moments—such as having hard conversations or standing up for what’s right. Strength is revealed by taking pause, and waiting to understand more. It’s inaction in some cases, and action in others. It’s being sensitive to the best timing.
A strong leader will suss out what’s at stake to figure out what really matters and bring the best out in everyone to problem solve. As a leader don’t sacrifice what is less important for what is more important. Strength is living with integrity, true to your principles and values. Integrity is workplace gold, like a stamp saying, “Trustworthy.”
While somewhat hard to define, beingness in leadership is intuited through direct experience– and you can sure tell when it’s missing.
ACTION:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to take stock of your leadership qualities.
Each day this week, notice at least three intentional actions that are part of the beingness of leadership. (connection, vulnerability, strength of character, EI).
How did you do?
How can you improve?
Practice. Enjoy the rewards of your beingness.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
June 9, 2025
Have you ever struggled with taking action on what you really wanted? Have you ever wondered if you’re not living up to your full potential? Research shows most people regret the choices they didn't make and the chances they didn't take at the end of their life. Yet, I get how sometimes fear can paralyze you from moving forward with what you want most. Over the past several years, I've been learning how to walk by faith, moment by moment. And when I look back at my life, I realize this has been a journey that began a long time ago. I would never have left working in Federal law enforcement if I didn’t take the journey from fear to faith. When I made the decision to turn in my resignation, my dad wanted to know why I was going to move from the steady income of a 6-figure government gig... ... to a zero-dollars-promised opportunity opening up my own business. I had no business degree, knew no one who had ever owned a business, and was living 3000 miles away from my closest friend or family member. Still, I took the leap of faith and trusted a net would appear. That's what most folks don't get. You have to take the leap BEFORE the miracle can show up. The journey to get from there to where I am today wasn't a solo effort. The people around me shaped my growth. I chose to surround myself with folks who think differently — who have challenged me to grow and evolve way beyond what I knew. The right leadership and different communities I stepped into gave me the confidence to move forward, even when the path ahead wasn’t clear. That’s why I believe coaching and community are essential for anyone who wants to go beyond where they are at this moment. See, every day you get an opportunity to decide what you are going to do with your life. Moment by moment, time moves forward without regard to your answer. Where do you need to take a leap of faith? Remember, your life is simply the sum total of all of the choices you've made. If you’re not happy with where you’re at, make different choices. It really is that easy. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to examine your decisions and see where you might be playing it safe. Because comfort doesn't change the world.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
June 2, 2025
When I was at the bottom of the pit, I stood in the darkness wondering how I had gotten there. It was so dark that I couldn’t even see my hand in front of me. And, deep down I knew how I got there… … yet to admit the truth would mean I had to look at all of the actions I had taken to get me to the abyss I was in. It would require me to take personal responsibility and be accountable for my actions. At the time, denial seemed easier. Blaming others seemed simpler. So I did. ~ My family history. ~ My background. ~ My genetics. I traveled a long and winding road to discover that the light I was seeking was in me all along. It takes me back to a widely publicized interview of two brothers. One was wildly successful… a wealthy professional deeply respected by his peers. Another was homeless… an alcoholic living from street corner to street corner. When asked how they got to where they were, both of them credited their father. “See… my daddy was an alcoholic…” yet they each took different roads. One took the road of personal responsibility and accountability. The other took the road of shame and blame. The tale of two brothers was living out in my body at that moment in time. One of my clients who I worked with over 10 years ago sent me a message after seeing one of my Facebook posts. “I thank God for amazing people like you and for giving me the opportunity to benefit from your knowledge and guidance from the first day we met (even from a distance). Thank you for reminding us of the true meaning of life and for inspiring us to be our own person. “Go out and shine your light.” - Lisa Marie Platske. You can take credit for some of the positive changes I made in my life. May He continue blessing you and all the people around you. Biggest hug.” She was in the same pit I was in years ago, and now she’s thriving using the tools I gave her. Most of my clients are fighting for peace… … for health … for happiness… … for success… … for meaning. They’ve sacrificed for others and been left bleeding by people who they called “friend”, lover, and even sometimes spouse. Many of them have seen the worst of the worst, and have the battle scars to prove it. And there is a piece of them that understands they too are destined for More. That there is a reason they’ve lived through this. I have had that same revelation and it’s why I’ve been to the bottom and am here now speaking about how to tap into your Divine Mission purpose and calling. I was given those experiences to be of service to others. There by the Grace of God go I. That is MY story. And, it just may be yours too. So if you’re trying to make sense of where you’re at, and it just feels dark all around you… ... remember the light within you. It’s there. And then remember, you weren't meant to walk this journey on your own. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to think of a time you found yourself in a dark place, where it felt like everything around you was falling apart. Name one choice you made that led you there. Then, ask: “ What would it look like to choose differently today? ” Your past doesn’t define you. Your decision to rise does.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
May 26, 2025
Have you ever had one of those days where it feels as if nothing went the way you planned? ~ You’re late for work or... ~ You spill something on your favorite shirt or.. ~ You get in a fender bender. Or, worse… ~ You get a call from your doctor and are diagnosed with something you wouldn’t wish on your enemies. ~ You lose your biggest client and/or you lose your job. ~ The love of your life says they don’t want to be with you anymore. Let’s be real… There are days when life can be heart-wrenchingly painful. And, there may be days when you want to stay in bed and wait for tomorrow to come. It's easy to forget that what we tell ourselves about these situations matters. The story we tell ourselves and others become part of our beliefs. I get how easy it can be to give up on days like this, and how tempting it can be to give in to the feeling that you did something wrong to cause this. I’ve been there. In business… … I’ve lost close relationships. … I lost big opportunities. … I lost my belief in myself. And I’ve been lied to and betrayed more times than I can count. There was a time, years ago when I lost sight of my Divine mission, and applied for a job when I had a full book of coaching clients. My confidence took a beating and I didn’t know how to move forward. The good news is that with the support of friends, family, and a strong coach - and leaning on the Holy Spirit - I got clear on what I needed and what was important to me. And I practiced forgiveness, for myself and others. I told myself through each challenge, that these were great lessons, full of learning that I could share. And, I created a community where thinkers, leaders, and world changers could come to do their work. You can focus on what you see as negative in the situation and make excuses for why you’re standing still. Or you can find the upside and create solutions to get to where you want to go. It’s really your decision. You are where you choose to be. So, if you’re going through one of those days in your life… …or one of those weeks… …or one of those months… …or what feels like one of those years… I get it. Take a Godwalk. Place your attention on where you want your focus to be. Decide what the most constructive story to tell yourself that aligns with what you want would be. Then, commit to taking action on what you truly want. Make peace with anyone with whom you are out of alignment with in your life using the power of forgiveness. The 1st person on your list may need to be you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice the art of writing your life when things are hard. Being aware of the story you are telling yourself with each experience. What's the story that will serve you best so that you move forward productively? If you get stuck, take a God walk, and then pick up the phone to connect with someone who appreciates who you are - and where you are on your life's journey.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
May 19, 2025
Most people believe they're good at keeping commitments. They wake up, show up, and do their best for others. Yet that same desire to do good for the people around them can create limitations on the ability to keep commitments to themselves. Everyone has an internal account that holds what I call integrity currency. Think about it like this… Every time you make a promise or break a promise to a client or someone you care about, you either add a coin, or you subtract a coin from your account. The coins you deposit are made up of magnetic energy, making you less or more attractive to yourself and others. The human body is an electrical body made up of charged particles - and has its own magnetic fields. When you make a promise to yourself, like taking an afternoon off to rest, and you fail to honor it, it is a double break of your integrity and your account is withdrawn TWICE. Why? Being out of integrity with yourself causes internal stress, shame, and regret. You didn't keep your word to the most important person in your life — YOU. Because the coins act like magnets, when you make deposits in your account, your account grows and begins paying dividends. The result is that you begin magnetizing opportunities with ease. The opposite is also true. As your account shrinks from being out of integrity with yourself or others, opportunities bounce off of you and seem just out of reach when once they were plentiful. You may work hard and can’t seem to get further ahead. When this is happening, I tell clients to check their integrity account. ~ Have you failed to honor commitments to yourself or others? ~ Are you depleted? ~ Is your account overdrawn? Everything you do is creating a pathway in your brain to get you closer to what you want...or further away. You choose in every moment who you are, what you want, and why it matters. Leading with integrity doesn’t just impact your life; it creates ripple effects in your business, your team, and your ability to lead at the highest level. This is why the leaders in my Upside Leaders program learn to strengthen their integrity account and build a life that aligns with their values and vision. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to imagine yourself as a bank account. Where are you spending? Where are you investing? When and how are you making deposits? At the end of the month, quarter, and year, what do you want your statements to look like? Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance now more than ever.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
June 9, 2025
Have you ever struggled with taking action on what you really wanted? Have you ever wondered if you’re not living up to your full potential? Research shows most people regret the choices they didn't make and the chances they didn't take at the end of their life. Yet, I get how sometimes fear can paralyze you from moving forward with what you want most. Over the past several years, I've been learning how to walk by faith, moment by moment. And when I look back at my life, I realize this has been a journey that began a long time ago. I would never have left working in Federal law enforcement if I didn’t take the journey from fear to faith. When I made the decision to turn in my resignation, my dad wanted to know why I was going to move from the steady income of a 6-figure government gig... ... to a zero-dollars-promised opportunity opening up my own business. I had no business degree, knew no one who had ever owned a business, and was living 3000 miles away from my closest friend or family member. Still, I took the leap of faith and trusted a net would appear. That's what most folks don't get. You have to take the leap BEFORE the miracle can show up. The journey to get from there to where I am today wasn't a solo effort. The people around me shaped my growth. I chose to surround myself with folks who think differently — who have challenged me to grow and evolve way beyond what I knew. The right leadership and different communities I stepped into gave me the confidence to move forward, even when the path ahead wasn’t clear. That’s why I believe coaching and community are essential for anyone who wants to go beyond where they are at this moment. See, every day you get an opportunity to decide what you are going to do with your life. Moment by moment, time moves forward without regard to your answer. Where do you need to take a leap of faith? Remember, your life is simply the sum total of all of the choices you've made. If you’re not happy with where you’re at, make different choices. It really is that easy. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to examine your decisions and see where you might be playing it safe. Because comfort doesn't change the world.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
June 2, 2025
When I was at the bottom of the pit, I stood in the darkness wondering how I had gotten there. It was so dark that I couldn’t even see my hand in front of me. And, deep down I knew how I got there… … yet to admit the truth would mean I had to look at all of the actions I had taken to get me to the abyss I was in. It would require me to take personal responsibility and be accountable for my actions. At the time, denial seemed easier. Blaming others seemed simpler. So I did. ~ My family history. ~ My background. ~ My genetics. I traveled a long and winding road to discover that the light I was seeking was in me all along. It takes me back to a widely publicized interview of two brothers. One was wildly successful… a wealthy professional deeply respected by his peers. Another was homeless… an alcoholic living from street corner to street corner. When asked how they got to where they were, both of them credited their father. “See… my daddy was an alcoholic…” yet they each took different roads. One took the road of personal responsibility and accountability. The other took the road of shame and blame. The tale of two brothers was living out in my body at that moment in time. One of my clients who I worked with over 10 years ago sent me a message after seeing one of my Facebook posts. “I thank God for amazing people like you and for giving me the opportunity to benefit from your knowledge and guidance from the first day we met (even from a distance). Thank you for reminding us of the true meaning of life and for inspiring us to be our own person. “Go out and shine your light.” - Lisa Marie Platske. You can take credit for some of the positive changes I made in my life. May He continue blessing you and all the people around you. Biggest hug.” She was in the same pit I was in years ago, and now she’s thriving using the tools I gave her. Most of my clients are fighting for peace… … for health … for happiness… … for success… … for meaning. They’ve sacrificed for others and been left bleeding by people who they called “friend”, lover, and even sometimes spouse. Many of them have seen the worst of the worst, and have the battle scars to prove it. And there is a piece of them that understands they too are destined for More. That there is a reason they’ve lived through this. I have had that same revelation and it’s why I’ve been to the bottom and am here now speaking about how to tap into your Divine Mission purpose and calling. I was given those experiences to be of service to others. There by the Grace of God go I. That is MY story. And, it just may be yours too. So if you’re trying to make sense of where you’re at, and it just feels dark all around you… ... remember the light within you. It’s there. And then remember, you weren't meant to walk this journey on your own. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to think of a time you found yourself in a dark place, where it felt like everything around you was falling apart. Name one choice you made that led you there. Then, ask: “ What would it look like to choose differently today? ” Your past doesn’t define you. Your decision to rise does.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
May 26, 2025
Have you ever had one of those days where it feels as if nothing went the way you planned? ~ You’re late for work or... ~ You spill something on your favorite shirt or.. ~ You get in a fender bender. Or, worse… ~ You get a call from your doctor and are diagnosed with something you wouldn’t wish on your enemies. ~ You lose your biggest client and/or you lose your job. ~ The love of your life says they don’t want to be with you anymore. Let’s be real… There are days when life can be heart-wrenchingly painful. And, there may be days when you want to stay in bed and wait for tomorrow to come. It's easy to forget that what we tell ourselves about these situations matters. The story we tell ourselves and others become part of our beliefs. I get how easy it can be to give up on days like this, and how tempting it can be to give in to the feeling that you did something wrong to cause this. I’ve been there. In business… … I’ve lost close relationships. … I lost big opportunities. … I lost my belief in myself. And I’ve been lied to and betrayed more times than I can count. There was a time, years ago when I lost sight of my Divine mission, and applied for a job when I had a full book of coaching clients. My confidence took a beating and I didn’t know how to move forward. The good news is that with the support of friends, family, and a strong coach - and leaning on the Holy Spirit - I got clear on what I needed and what was important to me. And I practiced forgiveness, for myself and others. I told myself through each challenge, that these were great lessons, full of learning that I could share. And, I created a community where thinkers, leaders, and world changers could come to do their work. You can focus on what you see as negative in the situation and make excuses for why you’re standing still. Or you can find the upside and create solutions to get to where you want to go. It’s really your decision. You are where you choose to be. So, if you’re going through one of those days in your life… …or one of those weeks… …or one of those months… …or what feels like one of those years… I get it. Take a Godwalk. Place your attention on where you want your focus to be. Decide what the most constructive story to tell yourself that aligns with what you want would be. Then, commit to taking action on what you truly want. Make peace with anyone with whom you are out of alignment with in your life using the power of forgiveness. The 1st person on your list may need to be you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice the art of writing your life when things are hard. Being aware of the story you are telling yourself with each experience. What's the story that will serve you best so that you move forward productively? If you get stuck, take a God walk, and then pick up the phone to connect with someone who appreciates who you are - and where you are on your life's journey.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
May 19, 2025
Most people believe they're good at keeping commitments. They wake up, show up, and do their best for others. Yet that same desire to do good for the people around them can create limitations on the ability to keep commitments to themselves. Everyone has an internal account that holds what I call integrity currency. Think about it like this… Every time you make a promise or break a promise to a client or someone you care about, you either add a coin, or you subtract a coin from your account. The coins you deposit are made up of magnetic energy, making you less or more attractive to yourself and others. The human body is an electrical body made up of charged particles - and has its own magnetic fields. When you make a promise to yourself, like taking an afternoon off to rest, and you fail to honor it, it is a double break of your integrity and your account is withdrawn TWICE. Why? Being out of integrity with yourself causes internal stress, shame, and regret. You didn't keep your word to the most important person in your life — YOU. Because the coins act like magnets, when you make deposits in your account, your account grows and begins paying dividends. The result is that you begin magnetizing opportunities with ease. The opposite is also true. As your account shrinks from being out of integrity with yourself or others, opportunities bounce off of you and seem just out of reach when once they were plentiful. You may work hard and can’t seem to get further ahead. When this is happening, I tell clients to check their integrity account. ~ Have you failed to honor commitments to yourself or others? ~ Are you depleted? ~ Is your account overdrawn? Everything you do is creating a pathway in your brain to get you closer to what you want...or further away. You choose in every moment who you are, what you want, and why it matters. Leading with integrity doesn’t just impact your life; it creates ripple effects in your business, your team, and your ability to lead at the highest level. This is why the leaders in my Upside Leaders program learn to strengthen their integrity account and build a life that aligns with their values and vision. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to imagine yourself as a bank account. Where are you spending? Where are you investing? When and how are you making deposits? At the end of the month, quarter, and year, what do you want your statements to look like? Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance now more than ever.
