How Forgiveness is Important to Your Professional Life
Lisa Marie Platske • January 21, 2019
Over the past 2 ½ decades, I’ve been studying personal and professional leadership.
What does it take to be a leader worth following? Really.
Are there unspoken qualities or characteristics beyond the typically researched list that includes integrity, visionary, inspirational, and competent?
And, what qualities get in the way of leaders being positive agents of change?
Because Leadership with a capital “L” encompasses many facets of beingness, I’m often looking at the deeper cause and effect of what makes leaders great.
When you take art and science and blend them together through practical wisdom and case studies, what shows up isn’t always what you would expect to find.
70% of my clients own their own businesses, and the remaining 30% work for an organization and want to eventually leave the organization to more fully pursue their mission and calling.
This means I get to work with corporate managers and executives as well as small business owners and entrepreneurs alike.
What I have shared with each of them is that owning a business is one of the greatest leadership and personal growth journeys you could ever take.
It challenges who you are as a person – and what you’re capable of being— as the being always comes before doing.
In addition to coaching, companies hire me to deliver leadership training seminars and workshops inside their organizations.
Ten years ago when I was sitting around a board room table conducting a gap analysis, I realized there was a piece missing within the organization in order for the executives to move forward.
The missing ingredient? Forgiveness.
What was fascinating about this discovery was the realization that I needed to embark on my own forgiveness journey in order for me to be able to speak about this with any credibility.
The dizzying journey then led me to countless trainings and leaning into vulnerability in my business.
The culmination of walking this path led me to be invited last year to sit on the board of Project Forgive, a global non-profit created to alleviate suffering in the world.
In December 2017, blogger Amy Swift Crosby wrote a post entitled “Resentment” that was ultimately about freedom.
In her article, she shares an experience early in her career where she received a note that rocked her to the core – and how she still can’t fully shake the feeling associated with this message.
Amy goes on to write, “Shame is the quietest emotion, and what it often turns into is resentment.
It’s the secret we keep about the wrongs we experience in private.
It’s the voice that says you deserved it, because whatever they said was true.
It’s the thing you might secretly think of yourself, that someone else just confirmed…it festers and grows when left in the dark.”
Whoa.
As I examined my own leadership journey, I gave pause and remembered the times when I felt ashamed for choices I made.
- The times when I missed out on an opportunity because I was too scared to step in.
- The times when I sabotaged my success out of fear.
- The times when I agreed to work for less money because I didn’t value my own worth.
I also recalled the countless stories where the incredibly inspiring leaders that I am honored to work with shared something vulnerably, and I could hear the shame in their messages.
While the definition of shame is “a feeling of guilt, regret or sadness that you have because you know you have done something wrong or inappropriate”, sometimes it is only the perception of having done something wrong.
I’ve heard the shame and embarrassment of:
- Not following-up
- Failing to take action
- Wasting time
- Not making enough money in their business
- Working long hours
- Missing family commitments
- Not getting “enough” done And, the list goes on and on…
Shame requires forgiveness.
Forgiveness of oneself and others. And, if there is no forgiveness then shame can fester and mutate into resentment– of others, a system, an organization…
Without forgiveness, you will struggle to move forward.
Without forgiveness, your thoughts can hijack your actions.
Without forgiveness, you cannot be a leader worth following.
When you shine light on shame and step into full forgiveness, you will breathe easier and be able to fully step into your mission and calling.
And, when you work inside a larger organization, it will enable you to be more compassionate to those you work with even when you’re dealing with challenging situations.
Forgiveness increases your EQ, or emotional intelligence, and gives you the freedom to lead authentically.
Years ago when I walked that group of leaders through exercises around forgiveness, they were struck by the amount of resentment that had crept into the organization and how it had doomed valuable projects that then crashed and burned.
Comfort doesn’t change the world. Vulnerability changes everything.
Step into freedom with forgiveness.
Action:
Forgiveness is Important - Lisa Marie Platske
The Upside Challenge is to examine where do you hold a resentment? If you look behind the resentment, deeper into the situation to where it started, can you spot the shame? Can you see who you need to forgive? And, will you make that commitment to yourself to do so in order to fully move forward.
Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely. Lead Upside.
The world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 12, 2026
No matter how happy someone may seem, they have moments when they question if they can go on. And no matter how strong someone may appear, they have days when they feel like they're falling apart. That's one of the most confusing aspects of leadership. See, most leaders feel that because they're the one at the helm steering the ship, they should have it together and be "on" 24x7. And that's unrealistic. Yet that belief has caused many leaders to sink their ship because of the inability to reach out and ask for help. No one can go it alone. Every leader needs someone to lean on. Phrases like "Only the strong survive." and "You gotta just 'man' up." do more damage than good. I learned this when I was working in Federal law enforcement and 9/11 hit. The superhuman requests to work hours that pushed the body to the limits were a recipe for certain disaster. Men and women who may have needed someone to talk to themselves to process their grief were thrust into the grim reality that they were needed more than ever—and needed to be stronger than they knew how to do. One of the NYPD beat cops that I had befriended was in the middle of a shift when he had a full-blown meltdown on 5th Avenue in New York City six months after 9/11. The walk of leadership never has been—and never will be—a solo affair. You need other folks around you that you can trust and rely on in good times and not-so-good times. And I'm not talking about a friend, spouse, or family member. I'm talking about a trusted advisor with whom you can turn matter what is working or on fire. Because every leader deserves a space to be real, to be guided, and to be reminded of the truth of who they are . The kind of space I’ve devoted my life to creating for those called to lead from purpose. And when leaders have that kind of support, the moments that once felt too heavy begin to make sense. They find the strength to keep going because they’re no longer doing it on their own. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to think and name one person who you can turn to when leadership feels heavy. Reach out to one of them this week. Tell the truth about where you are. Because even leaders need a place to lean.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 5, 2026
As I look at how to move forward with a new year...I’m tasked with identifying what to do to take action in the here and now. It sometimes feels hard... which is why I’m grateful for friends who lend a listening ear. It feels as if no matter how much I wipe the surface of my white board, my old writing shows through. Leaders face this challenge all the time. ~ How to erase what’s holding them back... ... and how to embrace what will propel them forward without old stories seeping through. I believe that’s why this time of year is confronting for people. They’re faced with the dilemma of honestly facing whether they’ve taken action on what they said they wanted last year ... and looking at how much energy and effort they put into their commitments... while assessing what's still flippin' gettin' in the way. Some people run and hide – and then lie to themselves. Others play the blame game. Only the courageous take personal responsibility for their shortcomings... with renewed energy to do better moving forward. To do this, you’ve got to get curious. Looking at where you’re at in this moment will determine how successful you will be tomorrow. And, you can’t get to self-regulation without self-awareness so that’s also critical. You’re born with a certain success set point and tolerance for risk... ... as well as a boatload of behavioral characteristics... ... some which serve you and others that get in the way of your success. Over time, you can make adjustments or choose to step into old habits. Blind spots are places we just can’t see on our own. Upside Leaders was born out of my desire to walk alongside leaders in this very space... where the unseen becomes visible, and small, intentional shifts create lasting transformation. When I spoke with a friend, he said perhaps it's just allowing for a small shift to the left or right, rather than an uncovering. For me that 1% tilt has made all the difference... ... especially when I look through that lens with humility... ... which precedes personal and professional growth. You cannot improve where you’re headed unless you improve yourself. See this as a time to erase what is no longer relevant... put some effort into making sure the old writing on your "white board" doesn't seep through. You are writing a new story. ... look in the mirror... ... and commit to doing better. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to look at your current goals and circle the one that feels the most familiar. Challenge yourself to reimagine it and to stretch it by 1%. Ask, “ What would this look like if I led with full conviction instead of comfort? ” Then pause and listen for what you’re being asked to release so greater vision can unfold through you.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 29, 2025
Most folks are introverts at heart. They prefer to hole up and live inside their cave vs. venturing out to try something new. And most folks have a lot of excuses when you invite them to experience something that will require them to stretch their growth edges. ~ "I don't like to travel." ~ "Traveling is hard." ~ "I can't be away from my family." ~ "My business can't run without me." ~ "It's too much money." The thing is ... you've got to escape your cave—and be with other people. This isn't optional. It's how your ideas and path gets challenged in ways that are easier than finding out you're one decision from going out of business because you didn't see that train coming. When you do choose to connect with other folks, it's important that you're choosy with who you give your precious time to and where. That means if you go someplace that's free or cheap, that's likely the depth of the conversations you'll have. I get invited to lots of seminars, mastermind groups, and peer networking circles. Most of the invites are for me to come for free because having me in the room is valuable. I turn most of them down and go to the events that cost money. Why? Because there are TONS of free or cheap places to go to hang out with others in business ... and if that's where you spend your time and energy, you'll be stuck in the same place 5 years from now. When you come to an Upside Thinking event, you notice the folks around you are a little different. So if you're not showing up at least once a year at an Upside Thinking event, you're missing out on something important. Personally, I go to about 5 meetings a year where I seek to NOT be the smartest person in the room, actively inviting folks to challenge everything I'm saying. You should do the same. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to commit to attending at least one high-caliber event in the next twelve months where the investment of time, travel, and money feels like a stretch. Choose a room where you expect to be challenged, not affirmed, and where the conversations push you to see blind spots you didn’t know you had. Put it on your calendar now so it’s a non-negotiable.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 22, 2025
This message comes three days before Christmas, a season that calls us back to love and light, from a place of deep gratitude and a depth of humility that has me moved to tears. From the Festival of Lights to the upcoming New Year's festivities, celebrations are all around. Parties, gift giving and conversations about being merry and jolly seem to fill the air a bit more during this time of year. Yet, this experience isn't true for everyone. I am mindful that this time of year doesn't bring lightness and joy for all. It is a time of year that can trigger memories of years gone by... ... broken dreams and longing for people you wish you could pick up the phone and hear their voice one more time. If you have lost a loved one this year, or simply feel alone, even in a room filled with people, my heart goes out to you . I have experienced this countless times in my life while trying my best to pretend everything was good in my world. This past year has carried both challenges and triumphs, each one a reminder of how faithfully God shapes us through every season and strengthens us for what is next. If you suffered a loss that feels paralyzing and sometimes feel like you can't breathe while everyone makes merry, I celebrate the richness and depth of your emotions. You are appreciated. For who you are. For where you are at this moment. For how deeply, and passionately you care about others. And, for all that you are. You, my dear friend, are loved right now, more than my words could ever express. So, have courage, muster up the strength to pick up the phone and call someone if you need to. Remember the world needs you and your brilliance. And, yes, it’s possible to be both whole and gracefully broken open. It simply allows more of your light to be seen. Keep on shining brightly. As Christmas draws near, may this season wrap you in peace and remind you of the love and light that surround you. Whether this year has left you celebrating or healing, know that your presence matters and your light is needed. Merry Christmas... May the days ahead bring you strength, hope, and unexpected joy that warms your heart. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify and celebrate quiet wins. Before the year ends, name three wins from your organization that didn’t make headlines yet shaped growth. Share them with your people to remind them that every contribution matters.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 12, 2026
No matter how happy someone may seem, they have moments when they question if they can go on. And no matter how strong someone may appear, they have days when they feel like they're falling apart. That's one of the most confusing aspects of leadership. See, most leaders feel that because they're the one at the helm steering the ship, they should have it together and be "on" 24x7. And that's unrealistic. Yet that belief has caused many leaders to sink their ship because of the inability to reach out and ask for help. No one can go it alone. Every leader needs someone to lean on. Phrases like "Only the strong survive." and "You gotta just 'man' up." do more damage than good. I learned this when I was working in Federal law enforcement and 9/11 hit. The superhuman requests to work hours that pushed the body to the limits were a recipe for certain disaster. Men and women who may have needed someone to talk to themselves to process their grief were thrust into the grim reality that they were needed more than ever—and needed to be stronger than they knew how to do. One of the NYPD beat cops that I had befriended was in the middle of a shift when he had a full-blown meltdown on 5th Avenue in New York City six months after 9/11. The walk of leadership never has been—and never will be—a solo affair. You need other folks around you that you can trust and rely on in good times and not-so-good times. And I'm not talking about a friend, spouse, or family member. I'm talking about a trusted advisor with whom you can turn matter what is working or on fire. Because every leader deserves a space to be real, to be guided, and to be reminded of the truth of who they are . The kind of space I’ve devoted my life to creating for those called to lead from purpose. And when leaders have that kind of support, the moments that once felt too heavy begin to make sense. They find the strength to keep going because they’re no longer doing it on their own. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to think and name one person who you can turn to when leadership feels heavy. Reach out to one of them this week. Tell the truth about where you are. Because even leaders need a place to lean.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 5, 2026
As I look at how to move forward with a new year...I’m tasked with identifying what to do to take action in the here and now. It sometimes feels hard... which is why I’m grateful for friends who lend a listening ear. It feels as if no matter how much I wipe the surface of my white board, my old writing shows through. Leaders face this challenge all the time. ~ How to erase what’s holding them back... ... and how to embrace what will propel them forward without old stories seeping through. I believe that’s why this time of year is confronting for people. They’re faced with the dilemma of honestly facing whether they’ve taken action on what they said they wanted last year ... and looking at how much energy and effort they put into their commitments... while assessing what's still flippin' gettin' in the way. Some people run and hide – and then lie to themselves. Others play the blame game. Only the courageous take personal responsibility for their shortcomings... with renewed energy to do better moving forward. To do this, you’ve got to get curious. Looking at where you’re at in this moment will determine how successful you will be tomorrow. And, you can’t get to self-regulation without self-awareness so that’s also critical. You’re born with a certain success set point and tolerance for risk... ... as well as a boatload of behavioral characteristics... ... some which serve you and others that get in the way of your success. Over time, you can make adjustments or choose to step into old habits. Blind spots are places we just can’t see on our own. Upside Leaders was born out of my desire to walk alongside leaders in this very space... where the unseen becomes visible, and small, intentional shifts create lasting transformation. When I spoke with a friend, he said perhaps it's just allowing for a small shift to the left or right, rather than an uncovering. For me that 1% tilt has made all the difference... ... especially when I look through that lens with humility... ... which precedes personal and professional growth. You cannot improve where you’re headed unless you improve yourself. See this as a time to erase what is no longer relevant... put some effort into making sure the old writing on your "white board" doesn't seep through. You are writing a new story. ... look in the mirror... ... and commit to doing better. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to look at your current goals and circle the one that feels the most familiar. Challenge yourself to reimagine it and to stretch it by 1%. Ask, “ What would this look like if I led with full conviction instead of comfort? ” Then pause and listen for what you’re being asked to release so greater vision can unfold through you.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 29, 2025
Most folks are introverts at heart. They prefer to hole up and live inside their cave vs. venturing out to try something new. And most folks have a lot of excuses when you invite them to experience something that will require them to stretch their growth edges. ~ "I don't like to travel." ~ "Traveling is hard." ~ "I can't be away from my family." ~ "My business can't run without me." ~ "It's too much money." The thing is ... you've got to escape your cave—and be with other people. This isn't optional. It's how your ideas and path gets challenged in ways that are easier than finding out you're one decision from going out of business because you didn't see that train coming. When you do choose to connect with other folks, it's important that you're choosy with who you give your precious time to and where. That means if you go someplace that's free or cheap, that's likely the depth of the conversations you'll have. I get invited to lots of seminars, mastermind groups, and peer networking circles. Most of the invites are for me to come for free because having me in the room is valuable. I turn most of them down and go to the events that cost money. Why? Because there are TONS of free or cheap places to go to hang out with others in business ... and if that's where you spend your time and energy, you'll be stuck in the same place 5 years from now. When you come to an Upside Thinking event, you notice the folks around you are a little different. So if you're not showing up at least once a year at an Upside Thinking event, you're missing out on something important. Personally, I go to about 5 meetings a year where I seek to NOT be the smartest person in the room, actively inviting folks to challenge everything I'm saying. You should do the same. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to commit to attending at least one high-caliber event in the next twelve months where the investment of time, travel, and money feels like a stretch. Choose a room where you expect to be challenged, not affirmed, and where the conversations push you to see blind spots you didn’t know you had. Put it on your calendar now so it’s a non-negotiable.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 22, 2025
This message comes three days before Christmas, a season that calls us back to love and light, from a place of deep gratitude and a depth of humility that has me moved to tears. From the Festival of Lights to the upcoming New Year's festivities, celebrations are all around. Parties, gift giving and conversations about being merry and jolly seem to fill the air a bit more during this time of year. Yet, this experience isn't true for everyone. I am mindful that this time of year doesn't bring lightness and joy for all. It is a time of year that can trigger memories of years gone by... ... broken dreams and longing for people you wish you could pick up the phone and hear their voice one more time. If you have lost a loved one this year, or simply feel alone, even in a room filled with people, my heart goes out to you . I have experienced this countless times in my life while trying my best to pretend everything was good in my world. This past year has carried both challenges and triumphs, each one a reminder of how faithfully God shapes us through every season and strengthens us for what is next. If you suffered a loss that feels paralyzing and sometimes feel like you can't breathe while everyone makes merry, I celebrate the richness and depth of your emotions. You are appreciated. For who you are. For where you are at this moment. For how deeply, and passionately you care about others. And, for all that you are. You, my dear friend, are loved right now, more than my words could ever express. So, have courage, muster up the strength to pick up the phone and call someone if you need to. Remember the world needs you and your brilliance. And, yes, it’s possible to be both whole and gracefully broken open. It simply allows more of your light to be seen. Keep on shining brightly. As Christmas draws near, may this season wrap you in peace and remind you of the love and light that surround you. Whether this year has left you celebrating or healing, know that your presence matters and your light is needed. Merry Christmas... May the days ahead bring you strength, hope, and unexpected joy that warms your heart. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify and celebrate quiet wins. Before the year ends, name three wins from your organization that didn’t make headlines yet shaped growth. Share them with your people to remind them that every contribution matters.
