How Forgiveness is Important to Your Professional Life
Lisa Marie Platske • January 21, 2019
Over the past 2 ½ decades, I’ve been studying personal and professional leadership.
What does it take to be a leader worth following? Really.
Are there unspoken qualities or characteristics beyond the typically researched list that includes integrity, visionary, inspirational, and competent?
And, what qualities get in the way of leaders being positive agents of change?
Because Leadership with a capital “L” encompasses many facets of beingness, I’m often looking at the deeper cause and effect of what makes leaders great.
When you take art and science and blend them together through practical wisdom and case studies, what shows up isn’t always what you would expect to find.
70% of my clients own their own businesses, and the remaining 30% work for an organization and want to eventually leave the organization to more fully pursue their mission and calling.
This means I get to work with corporate managers and executives as well as small business owners and entrepreneurs alike.
What I have shared with each of them is that owning a business is one of the greatest leadership and personal growth journeys you could ever take.
It challenges who you are as a person – and what you’re capable of being— as the being always comes before doing.
In addition to coaching, companies hire me to deliver leadership training seminars and workshops inside their organizations.
Ten years ago when I was sitting around a board room table conducting a gap analysis, I realized there was a piece missing within the organization in order for the executives to move forward.
The missing ingredient? Forgiveness.
What was fascinating about this discovery was the realization that I needed to embark on my own forgiveness journey in order for me to be able to speak about this with any credibility.
The dizzying journey then led me to countless trainings and leaning into vulnerability in my business.
The culmination of walking this path led me to be invited last year to sit on the board of Project Forgive, a global non-profit created to alleviate suffering in the world.
In December 2017, blogger Amy Swift Crosby wrote a post entitled “Resentment” that was ultimately about freedom.
In her article, she shares an experience early in her career where she received a note that rocked her to the core – and how she still can’t fully shake the feeling associated with this message.
Amy goes on to write, “Shame is the quietest emotion, and what it often turns into is resentment.
It’s the secret we keep about the wrongs we experience in private.
It’s the voice that says you deserved it, because whatever they said was true.
It’s the thing you might secretly think of yourself, that someone else just confirmed…it festers and grows when left in the dark.”
Whoa.
As I examined my own leadership journey, I gave pause and remembered the times when I felt ashamed for choices I made.
- The times when I missed out on an opportunity because I was too scared to step in.
- The times when I sabotaged my success out of fear.
- The times when I agreed to work for less money because I didn’t value my own worth.
I also recalled the countless stories where the incredibly inspiring leaders that I am honored to work with shared something vulnerably, and I could hear the shame in their messages.
While the definition of shame is “a feeling of guilt, regret or sadness that you have because you know you have done something wrong or inappropriate”, sometimes it is only the perception of having done something wrong.
I’ve heard the shame and embarrassment of:
- Not following-up
- Failing to take action
- Wasting time
- Not making enough money in their business
- Working long hours
- Missing family commitments
- Not getting “enough” done And, the list goes on and on…
Shame requires forgiveness.
Forgiveness of oneself and others. And, if there is no forgiveness then shame can fester and mutate into resentment– of others, a system, an organization…
Without forgiveness, you will struggle to move forward.
Without forgiveness, your thoughts can hijack your actions.
Without forgiveness, you cannot be a leader worth following.
When you shine light on shame and step into full forgiveness, you will breathe easier and be able to fully step into your mission and calling.
And, when you work inside a larger organization, it will enable you to be more compassionate to those you work with even when you’re dealing with challenging situations.
Forgiveness increases your EQ, or emotional intelligence, and gives you the freedom to lead authentically.
Years ago when I walked that group of leaders through exercises around forgiveness, they were struck by the amount of resentment that had crept into the organization and how it had doomed valuable projects that then crashed and burned.
Comfort doesn’t change the world. Vulnerability changes everything.
Step into freedom with forgiveness.
Action:
Forgiveness is Important - Lisa Marie Platske
The Upside Challenge is to examine where do you hold a resentment? If you look behind the resentment, deeper into the situation to where it started, can you spot the shame? Can you see who you need to forgive? And, will you make that commitment to yourself to do so in order to fully move forward.
Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely. Lead Upside.
The world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 10, 2025
Every so often, I read something that inspires me to be better. After a month of giving to clients at two retreats and working privately with a client through a one-on-one VIP leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm, this story touches me in a very deep way. Sometimes folks ask me if it's possible to overgive. This story answers that question beautifully. "I asked the leaf whether it was frightened because it was autumn and the other leaves were falling. The leaf told me, "No. During the whole spring and summer, I was completely alive. I worked hard to help nourish the tree, and now much of me is in the tree. I am not limited by this form. I am also the whole tree, and when I go back to the soil, I will continue to nourish the tree. So I don’t worry at all. As I leave this branch and float to the ground, I will wave to the tree and tell her, 'I will see you again very soon'." That day, there was a wind blowing and, after a while, I saw the leaf leave the branch and float down to the soil, dancing joyfully, because as it floated it saw itself already there in the tree. It was so happy. I bowed my head, knowing that I have a lot to learn from the leaf." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh Reading that story reminded me of the leaders I encounter. The ones who give deeply, love fiercely, and show up fully, even when no one’s watching. You may not always see the impact you’re having. You may wonder if it’s too much, or if it even matters. What I know to be true is... Nothing is ever wasted. ~ Every act of service… ~ Every moment of generosity… ~ Every time you choose love over fear… ... It all lives on. Just like the leaf, your presence remains long after the moment passes. What you’ve built and what you’ve become—it stays on. So if you’ve been wondering whether it’s okay to rest, to pause, to let go… It is. Because your leadership is already rooted in what you've poured yourself into. This is the holy space between what was and what’s next. And you, leader, are right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to write one truth you know about leadership or legacy on a sticky note or card. Make it simple and true for you. Maybe it’s… “My presence changes the room.” “I was created to lead with love.” “What I build matters.” And then place it somewhere you’ll see it—your mirror, your journal, the dashboard of your car. Let it meet you in the in-between moments. And let it serve as a reminder of who you are.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 3, 2025
For years, Valentine’s Day has been my 2nd favorite holiday after Thanksgiving. Every year, I notice people talking about love and being loving, equating it to what they got from their partner. One year, I wrote a post where I joked around about asking Jim for toilets — which was true. And some folks were horrified. Valentine's Day hasn't been one of my favorite holidays for 4 decades because of the gifts I've received, although I have gotten some spectacular ones. Rather, Valentine's Day offers folks a reminder to see through the lens of love, no matter where they're at or what they're experiencing. LOVE is the vibration I want to operate on 365 days throughout the year. It’s how I want to be REMEMBERED. In a few days, Jim and I will celebrate 21 years of marriage. Yes, 21 years. That kind of time gives you a deeper understanding of what love really is. And it’s not always grand or visible. Being loving and kind isn’t hard to do. And it's not easy, either. It does require intentional choice in every circumstance and situation. Once you set your mind that’s who you want to be, you’ll see opportunities to be loving and kind all day long. Researchers have discovered that you also get what’s called the ‘helper’s high’ when you operate this way… …because acts of altruism trigger the same endorphins as a ‘runner’s high.' What does this look like? Smile. At people you’ve never met. Hold the door open for a stranger. Give BIG hugs to the people you care about most. Say “please” – and say “thank you”. You’d be surprised at how few people actually do. Surprise a friend with a phone call or a gift of appreciation … for no reason other than they were on your mind. Give back and volunteer your time at a colleague’s event, local animal shelter, or soup kitchen. (Yes, they still have those.) Pay for someone’s cup of coffee at the drive-thru or the person standing behind you in line at Starbucks. When I lived in New Jersey, I used to pay for people’s tolls before EZPass came along and took away the fun of it. Go through your closet and donate the clothing you still love, yet haven’t worn in a long time. Look for opportunities to pay someone a compliment – and then do it. You just may make their day. Text or call a loved one just to say, “I’m thinking about you…” Bring your neighbors flowers. Loving-kindness is just a way of being. You don’t need a special day or any holiday for LOVE to show up. And the best leaders get this. So if you want to be the kind of leader who leaves a legacy... Start there. Lead with love. Even when no one’s watching. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice one unseen act of loving-kindness. Choose one person in your world — a colleague, neighbor, team member, or friend — and do something kind without telling them it was you. It can be a handwritten note, a small gift, a thoughtful gesture, or an act of service. Then notice how it shifts you — because powerful leadership begins in the places no one else sees.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 27, 2025
When I was 6 years old, I understood there was something powerful for me to do on the planet. A mission that was bigger than me. Bigger than I could comprehend. And I get that sounds crazy as I was simultaneously learning how to count, and add 4 + 6 to come up with 10. What I can tell you that I'm clear about is that despite that inner knowing, I floundered over the years trying to figure out how I could really step into this Calling. How could this possibly be mine to do?!? From hiding it, burying it, and avoiding it, it seemed I kept running away from what I knew was mine to do in the world. There is a shift that happens in a person’s life when they realize it’s time to step up and become the leader they are destined to be. ~ To make an impact ~ To be a force for good on the planet ~ To step into their Calling See, God doesn't give folks little missions. They're all big and designed for exactly how you're wired. For me, it started with a grand vision as a little girl. For others, it may reveal itself over time, perhaps after decades of transformational experiences. Your mission matters—and the world needs you and your brilliance. So, regardless of whether you are on your journey, it’s time to look at leadership from this lens vs. that of job positions and titles. Now’s the moment to stop questioning whether it’s yours. It is. And the next step is yours to take. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to sit down and ask yourself: What’s one thing I keep feeling called to do yet I haven’t acted on? Name it and just write it down. Then decide how you’ll honor it in the next 48 hours. Take one clear, intentional step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 20, 2025
Divine impatience. This is what my spiritual mentor and I have been talking about quite a bit. It's when you understand that lurking around the corner is the birthing of your new idea or new chapter, and God's timing is a little different than your own. You feel you're ready and it's time, yet nothing seems to be moving. This is very different than being stuck. I've discovered that all leaders go through this season. Some will put up a heck of a fight, and try to muscle their way forward. And I can promise you that never works. Others will throw up their hands and abdicate personal responsibility, excusing their lack of initiative and giving themselves a reason to sit back and do nothing. Divine Right Timing is truly "a thing" and no amount of force will have a door open when it's not to be opened yet. Yet that doesn't mean you step out of your life and wait. Growth happens moment by moment over time, not in a flash or an instant. You have a duty to keep moving forward while recognizing that your clock and God's may be set on different planes in the time and space continuum. I've learned to see the Divine perfection in everything... ...even when I hope what I want would show up a little faster. So much of leadership is learning to move in rhythm with Divine Right Timing. It’s listening, trusting and leaning in even when you don’t see the full picture yet. You begin to discern when to act and when to wait; when to take the next faithful step and when to let the path rise up to meet you. That’s not something you master overnight. It’s something you practice, in the pauses, in the tension, in the stretch between what is and what’s to come. So if you're in that space right now, where you feel the stirring, the readiness, the knowing and yet, nothing seems to be shifting, take heart . You're not doing anything wrong. You're not being ignored by God. You're being prepared. And when the door does open, you'll walk through it with the clarity, strength, and grace you gained in the waiting. That’s the Divine right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to take inventory of what you’ve been striving to control. Where are you trying to open a door that isn’t yours to open yet? Is there a situation where you’ve confused momentum with force? Write down three things you’re being called to trust, not fix. Then choose one aligned step that keeps you in motion without pushing against Divine Timing. Sometimes the wisest move is to walk in faith while the door gets ready for you.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 10, 2025
Every so often, I read something that inspires me to be better. After a month of giving to clients at two retreats and working privately with a client through a one-on-one VIP leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm, this story touches me in a very deep way. Sometimes folks ask me if it's possible to overgive. This story answers that question beautifully. "I asked the leaf whether it was frightened because it was autumn and the other leaves were falling. The leaf told me, "No. During the whole spring and summer, I was completely alive. I worked hard to help nourish the tree, and now much of me is in the tree. I am not limited by this form. I am also the whole tree, and when I go back to the soil, I will continue to nourish the tree. So I don’t worry at all. As I leave this branch and float to the ground, I will wave to the tree and tell her, 'I will see you again very soon'." That day, there was a wind blowing and, after a while, I saw the leaf leave the branch and float down to the soil, dancing joyfully, because as it floated it saw itself already there in the tree. It was so happy. I bowed my head, knowing that I have a lot to learn from the leaf." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh Reading that story reminded me of the leaders I encounter. The ones who give deeply, love fiercely, and show up fully, even when no one’s watching. You may not always see the impact you’re having. You may wonder if it’s too much, or if it even matters. What I know to be true is... Nothing is ever wasted. ~ Every act of service… ~ Every moment of generosity… ~ Every time you choose love over fear… ... It all lives on. Just like the leaf, your presence remains long after the moment passes. What you’ve built and what you’ve become—it stays on. So if you’ve been wondering whether it’s okay to rest, to pause, to let go… It is. Because your leadership is already rooted in what you've poured yourself into. This is the holy space between what was and what’s next. And you, leader, are right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to write one truth you know about leadership or legacy on a sticky note or card. Make it simple and true for you. Maybe it’s… “My presence changes the room.” “I was created to lead with love.” “What I build matters.” And then place it somewhere you’ll see it—your mirror, your journal, the dashboard of your car. Let it meet you in the in-between moments. And let it serve as a reminder of who you are.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 3, 2025
For years, Valentine’s Day has been my 2nd favorite holiday after Thanksgiving. Every year, I notice people talking about love and being loving, equating it to what they got from their partner. One year, I wrote a post where I joked around about asking Jim for toilets — which was true. And some folks were horrified. Valentine's Day hasn't been one of my favorite holidays for 4 decades because of the gifts I've received, although I have gotten some spectacular ones. Rather, Valentine's Day offers folks a reminder to see through the lens of love, no matter where they're at or what they're experiencing. LOVE is the vibration I want to operate on 365 days throughout the year. It’s how I want to be REMEMBERED. In a few days, Jim and I will celebrate 21 years of marriage. Yes, 21 years. That kind of time gives you a deeper understanding of what love really is. And it’s not always grand or visible. Being loving and kind isn’t hard to do. And it's not easy, either. It does require intentional choice in every circumstance and situation. Once you set your mind that’s who you want to be, you’ll see opportunities to be loving and kind all day long. Researchers have discovered that you also get what’s called the ‘helper’s high’ when you operate this way… …because acts of altruism trigger the same endorphins as a ‘runner’s high.' What does this look like? Smile. At people you’ve never met. Hold the door open for a stranger. Give BIG hugs to the people you care about most. Say “please” – and say “thank you”. You’d be surprised at how few people actually do. Surprise a friend with a phone call or a gift of appreciation … for no reason other than they were on your mind. Give back and volunteer your time at a colleague’s event, local animal shelter, or soup kitchen. (Yes, they still have those.) Pay for someone’s cup of coffee at the drive-thru or the person standing behind you in line at Starbucks. When I lived in New Jersey, I used to pay for people’s tolls before EZPass came along and took away the fun of it. Go through your closet and donate the clothing you still love, yet haven’t worn in a long time. Look for opportunities to pay someone a compliment – and then do it. You just may make their day. Text or call a loved one just to say, “I’m thinking about you…” Bring your neighbors flowers. Loving-kindness is just a way of being. You don’t need a special day or any holiday for LOVE to show up. And the best leaders get this. So if you want to be the kind of leader who leaves a legacy... Start there. Lead with love. Even when no one’s watching. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice one unseen act of loving-kindness. Choose one person in your world — a colleague, neighbor, team member, or friend — and do something kind without telling them it was you. It can be a handwritten note, a small gift, a thoughtful gesture, or an act of service. Then notice how it shifts you — because powerful leadership begins in the places no one else sees.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 27, 2025
When I was 6 years old, I understood there was something powerful for me to do on the planet. A mission that was bigger than me. Bigger than I could comprehend. And I get that sounds crazy as I was simultaneously learning how to count, and add 4 + 6 to come up with 10. What I can tell you that I'm clear about is that despite that inner knowing, I floundered over the years trying to figure out how I could really step into this Calling. How could this possibly be mine to do?!? From hiding it, burying it, and avoiding it, it seemed I kept running away from what I knew was mine to do in the world. There is a shift that happens in a person’s life when they realize it’s time to step up and become the leader they are destined to be. ~ To make an impact ~ To be a force for good on the planet ~ To step into their Calling See, God doesn't give folks little missions. They're all big and designed for exactly how you're wired. For me, it started with a grand vision as a little girl. For others, it may reveal itself over time, perhaps after decades of transformational experiences. Your mission matters—and the world needs you and your brilliance. So, regardless of whether you are on your journey, it’s time to look at leadership from this lens vs. that of job positions and titles. Now’s the moment to stop questioning whether it’s yours. It is. And the next step is yours to take. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to sit down and ask yourself: What’s one thing I keep feeling called to do yet I haven’t acted on? Name it and just write it down. Then decide how you’ll honor it in the next 48 hours. Take one clear, intentional step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 20, 2025
Divine impatience. This is what my spiritual mentor and I have been talking about quite a bit. It's when you understand that lurking around the corner is the birthing of your new idea or new chapter, and God's timing is a little different than your own. You feel you're ready and it's time, yet nothing seems to be moving. This is very different than being stuck. I've discovered that all leaders go through this season. Some will put up a heck of a fight, and try to muscle their way forward. And I can promise you that never works. Others will throw up their hands and abdicate personal responsibility, excusing their lack of initiative and giving themselves a reason to sit back and do nothing. Divine Right Timing is truly "a thing" and no amount of force will have a door open when it's not to be opened yet. Yet that doesn't mean you step out of your life and wait. Growth happens moment by moment over time, not in a flash or an instant. You have a duty to keep moving forward while recognizing that your clock and God's may be set on different planes in the time and space continuum. I've learned to see the Divine perfection in everything... ...even when I hope what I want would show up a little faster. So much of leadership is learning to move in rhythm with Divine Right Timing. It’s listening, trusting and leaning in even when you don’t see the full picture yet. You begin to discern when to act and when to wait; when to take the next faithful step and when to let the path rise up to meet you. That’s not something you master overnight. It’s something you practice, in the pauses, in the tension, in the stretch between what is and what’s to come. So if you're in that space right now, where you feel the stirring, the readiness, the knowing and yet, nothing seems to be shifting, take heart . You're not doing anything wrong. You're not being ignored by God. You're being prepared. And when the door does open, you'll walk through it with the clarity, strength, and grace you gained in the waiting. That’s the Divine right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to take inventory of what you’ve been striving to control. Where are you trying to open a door that isn’t yours to open yet? Is there a situation where you’ve confused momentum with force? Write down three things you’re being called to trust, not fix. Then choose one aligned step that keeps you in motion without pushing against Divine Timing. Sometimes the wisest move is to walk in faith while the door gets ready for you.
