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How to Handle Your Inner Critic
Lisa Marie Platske • December 5, 2018
After I got married, I walked away from my career in Federal law enforcement.
When I turned in my resignation, I didn’t realize it would be the end as I envisioned finding inspiring work in a similar agency.
Because I never met anyone who owned their own business and I didn’t take any business classes in college, owning a business never crossed my mind.
When I made the decision to open a business vs. getting another job in the criminal justice field, I didn’t realize I would be taking a journey in self-development.
Starting out, I had countless voices in my head that got in the way of my success.
I thought that having an inner critic was one-of-a-kind and incredibly unique to me because I didn’t have a business background and was stepping into an arena where I lacked experience.
Sometimes my inner critic whispered her messages quietly and other times she roared, criticizing my actions with a sharp tongue.
And the voices felt like the enemy, although they were on some level intended to keep me safe.
Over time, I discovered that this inner critic came from a place of fear, worry, or overwhelm.
Unfortunately, it was incredibly challenging to move forward in my business when these voices were at there loudest.
Research shows that people can feel your energy when you’re operating in a place of fear, even if you are portraying confidence and optimism.
This made making important calls and sitting down to write curriculum feel like monumental tasks.
While I’ve heard teachers speak about talking louder and muscling out your inner critic, I’ve always found it was better to accept, acknowledge and befriend the voice.
It wasn’t an acknowledgment that this was the voice of truth, rather an internal voice that had come from looking at some of life’s experiences through a narrow lens.
I recognized that if I wanted to quiet the critical voice and create a more positive perspective, I needed to heighten my awareness, gain understanding, and sometimes give myself a reality check, be patient, and then take action.
I began paying attention to when I was triggered and what exact words or phrases I would hear–and what meaning I was assigning to those words and phrases.
Then, I acknowledged the statement, noticing what part – if any – felt true in that moment.
Finally, I would identify what new language I wanted to create when I came up against this particular emotion again.
For me, it was never about making any part of who I am wrong.
It was always about noticing and awareness so that I could stand in a place of choice rather than reaction.
Today, I’m fortunate to have chosen friends who want to see me succeed.
They will speak up if they hear me say something that sounds like an old habit or pattern that isn’t serving me.
And, I’ve discovered that every leader that I’ve had the good fortune to coach or mastermind with has had those same voices… I wasn’t that unique after all. 🙂
This is why reaching out for support is a must on your leadership journey.
Reaching out can feel vulnerable and uncomfortable, but comfort doesn’t change the world.
And, ultimately, feeling alone and unsupported isn’t vulnerable, it’s isolation and doesn’t move your forward.
So, stand strong in your commitment to make a positive difference in the world…because the world needs you and your brilliance.
Action:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to identify some phrases your inner critic uses to keep you small or stuck. Take the time to acknowledge how the fearful words were meant on some level to keep you safe and protected. Can you comfort your own inner critic and thus yourself so that you can move forward differently? Reach out to someone to share your experience– and whether you are able to shift perspective and begin to take actions.
See Upside. Be Upside. Lead Upside.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 17, 2025
It’s been 20 years since I sat at my desk in Riverside, “California dreaming” about Upside Thinking, LLC. I envisioned it as a global leadership company and brand that would be different from organizations that focused on technical expertise. Our focus would be on happiness, success, and meaning – the top of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. These tenets are built into the Upside Summit, an experience designed to bring leaders together in a way that fosters transformation. Life happens moment by moment, the lows and highs woven together like an exquisite silk tapestry. While it may feel good to focus on the high moments, the lows teach us how to discover and/or create happiness, success, and meaning. I’ve had an unsettling feeling in my bones lately and have questioned from where it’s coming. It feels as if there have been many blows or lows that my body has felt as if I’ve been in the ring with Ali, Mayweather, and Tyson all at the same time. The political landscape, as well as debates over AI, social responsibility, and freedom have created feelings of pain, grief, and outrage – which can be where meaning lives. Yet, it’s not an easy road to walk: feeling feelings, being uncomfortable, examining beliefs, finding clarity in the chaos, and making decisions. Perhaps you understand this. Meaning is defined as “ the sense or significance of… ” and when it intersects with caring about others as much as caring about yourself, then leadership becomes what is ... ... the Highest and Best good for All. You as a leader become more purpose-driven and seek to connect with others who have a similar why. Even when they have different beliefs, the common “why” as a focal point can hold you together. When there is no clear “why,” you have little motivation to take action any differently than you’ve done before. Have the courage to look at the gaps without getting caught up in the swirl of emotion, understanding that our common humanity can serve to unite us. ACTION: The Upside Challenge is to engage in a dialogue of meaning and different types of conversations with family, friends, and colleagues than you might typically have. Don’t shy away from talking about the lows. It is only from this place we can appreciate our differences. To do so is to be made anew. Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance. With everything Upside, Lisa Marie Platske President, Upside Thinking, LLC LisaMarie@UpsideThinking.com 951.334.9162 p.s. True leadership isn’t just about what you do, it’s about who you become. The Upside Leaders program is a 12-week journey designed to help you align with the Divine Operating System, so you can lead with clarity, conviction, and impact. If you’re feeling called to more—more meaning, more purpose, more transformation—this is your invitation. Step in, rise up, and lead at your highest level. Join us now.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 10, 2025
Cleaning and De-cluttering. This seems to be the daily theme at the farm. Since moving into the property, I’ve been releasing many things from my life: ~ Clothing I hadn’t worn in years ~ New pillows, bedding, and household items that never seemed right ~ Old electronics, including two laptops that a friend was able to re-purpose ~ Papers, papers, and more papers! I’ve also been re-examining what still fits as I move into this new chapter. Getting really honest with why I hold on to things (and people) when they clearly no longer fit in my life. I even deleted hundreds—dare I say thousands—of names from my email list, making my list size the un-sexiest it’s ever been. In the coaching world, this is seen as a fatal mistake—the kiss of death—as your list size is what makes you “cool.” On this part of my journey, I’m much more discerning of the people, places, and situations that are part of my life. I’m examining the distractions that keep me from shining brightly. And, after years of being told not to take things personally, that’s all I’m interested in, because life is personal. You can’t be a leader worth following unless you can see and honor someone’s humanity: ~ What makes their heart hurt ~ What makes them laugh uncontrollably ~ What makes them wonderful and unique That’s the kind of leadership I’m interested in. The kind that’s personal. And that just may take a little de-cluttering and letting go of what and who doesn’t allow you to be the best version of who you’re called to be. Don’t let people, places, or things get in the way of you shining your light. Because the world needs you and your brilliance, now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to reflect on what’s taking up space in your life? Take 30 minutes today to identify one physical item or relationship that no longer serves you. Whether it’s an old piece of clothing, a cluttered drawer, or an obligation you’ve outgrown, release it with gratitude for its role in your life.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 3, 2025
Are you in integrity with yourself? That’s what the world is really asking when they see if you measure up as a leader worth following. The deeper you are in relationship with yourself, the greater you’re able to serve others and make a positive difference on the planet. You can’t be in integrity with yourself unless you’re able to access your emotions, to experience emotional well-being. See, most people sidestep the things they don’t want to deal with in their life. They do it all day long. They have hidden places, in dark corners, where they’d rather not look. The actions can look like no big deal, like saying ‘yes’ to something when you really want to say ‘no’. I mean it’s just easier to go along to get along. Yet when you do this, you’re out of integrity with yourself. And over time, the consequences are costly. You can stack up all of the wins, and get external validation, yet the person in the mirror will still be staring back at you. You can’t really hide from yourself. I’ve got a pretty tough exterior, and I was an emotional stuffer for years. It’s taken me a lifetime to understand that your emotions reveal where you’re off-track. When you choose to listen amidst the noise of the world, you can see what just may be getting in the way. Only if you’re willing to. Looking deep into your soul. The world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to pause and check in with yourself the next time you feel uncomfortable, frustrated, or out of alignment. Ask yourself: What is this emotion trying to show me about where I’m off track? Is there a hidden “yes” or “no” I’ve been avoiding? Once you’ve identified it, take one intentional step to honor what you uncover. Maybe it’s setting a boundary, speaking your truth, or letting go of something that no longer serves you. Your emotions are a guide, trust them, and see where they lead. 
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 13, 2025
When you aren’t willing to fully examine… ~ what you believe, ~ the size of your comfort zone, ~ and the operational effectiveness of your processes and systems... … you stay stuck. There is a hard cost to choosing to stay stuck. ~ Physically ~ Emotionally ~ Intellectually ~ Spiritually ~ Financially ~ Relationally ~ And to the health of your career or business. Moving forward requires change. And, change is uncomfortable for most people, especially when it requires letting go of what was. It's not usually external waves that cause your boat to sink... ... rather it's the SMALL HOLE INSIDE your BOAT that YOU'VE BEEN IGNORING. A little reflection goes a long way, along with conversations with someone you trust. ~ What have you been ignoring or putting off? ~ What haven't you been willing to look at? Ignoring or delaying doesn't typically help because that small hole may be getting bigger... The longer you delay looking at things, the sense of overwhelm grows too-- much like the feeling that the boat is filling up with water. Pretty soon you may be swimming inside your proverbial boat. What is the process for getting unstuck? It starts with a commitment to make a clear-eyed assessment of where you are. This requires both courage and vulnerability. The costs to stay stuck are high. Be willing to see where you might be off course without judgment. Remember, judgment and discernment are different. One is constructive, the other is destructive. Next focus on what you want . What's your desired outcome? Use your imagination to build the bridge in the gap between where you are and also from the goal ("end"). ~ What do you need to do? ~ Who do you need to be? If you can create it in your mind, you can create it in the world. While it may look different as you build and take each step... you'll be moving forward... Find the courage to take the first step. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to LOOK at where you are stuck and have been ignoring or delaying. Examine the situation with a neutral eye from multiple angles. What is your desired and designed outcome? CHOOSE the first step ... which might just be reaching out to someone for coaching. Have the courage to take that ACTION step. If you need support or resources... reach out . The world needs you and your brilliance. 
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 17, 2025
It’s been 20 years since I sat at my desk in Riverside, “California dreaming” about Upside Thinking, LLC. I envisioned it as a global leadership company and brand that would be different from organizations that focused on technical expertise. Our focus would be on happiness, success, and meaning – the top of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. These tenets are built into the Upside Summit, an experience designed to bring leaders together in a way that fosters transformation. Life happens moment by moment, the lows and highs woven together like an exquisite silk tapestry. While it may feel good to focus on the high moments, the lows teach us how to discover and/or create happiness, success, and meaning. I’ve had an unsettling feeling in my bones lately and have questioned from where it’s coming. It feels as if there have been many blows or lows that my body has felt as if I’ve been in the ring with Ali, Mayweather, and Tyson all at the same time. The political landscape, as well as debates over AI, social responsibility, and freedom have created feelings of pain, grief, and outrage – which can be where meaning lives. Yet, it’s not an easy road to walk: feeling feelings, being uncomfortable, examining beliefs, finding clarity in the chaos, and making decisions. Perhaps you understand this. Meaning is defined as “ the sense or significance of… ” and when it intersects with caring about others as much as caring about yourself, then leadership becomes what is ... ... the Highest and Best good for All. You as a leader become more purpose-driven and seek to connect with others who have a similar why. Even when they have different beliefs, the common “why” as a focal point can hold you together. When there is no clear “why,” you have little motivation to take action any differently than you’ve done before. Have the courage to look at the gaps without getting caught up in the swirl of emotion, understanding that our common humanity can serve to unite us. ACTION: The Upside Challenge is to engage in a dialogue of meaning and different types of conversations with family, friends, and colleagues than you might typically have. Don’t shy away from talking about the lows. It is only from this place we can appreciate our differences. To do so is to be made anew. Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance. With everything Upside, Lisa Marie Platske President, Upside Thinking, LLC LisaMarie@UpsideThinking.com 951.334.9162 p.s. True leadership isn’t just about what you do, it’s about who you become. The Upside Leaders program is a 12-week journey designed to help you align with the Divine Operating System, so you can lead with clarity, conviction, and impact. If you’re feeling called to more—more meaning, more purpose, more transformation—this is your invitation. Step in, rise up, and lead at your highest level. Join us now.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 10, 2025
Cleaning and De-cluttering. This seems to be the daily theme at the farm. Since moving into the property, I’ve been releasing many things from my life: ~ Clothing I hadn’t worn in years ~ New pillows, bedding, and household items that never seemed right ~ Old electronics, including two laptops that a friend was able to re-purpose ~ Papers, papers, and more papers! I’ve also been re-examining what still fits as I move into this new chapter. Getting really honest with why I hold on to things (and people) when they clearly no longer fit in my life. I even deleted hundreds—dare I say thousands—of names from my email list, making my list size the un-sexiest it’s ever been. In the coaching world, this is seen as a fatal mistake—the kiss of death—as your list size is what makes you “cool.” On this part of my journey, I’m much more discerning of the people, places, and situations that are part of my life. I’m examining the distractions that keep me from shining brightly. And, after years of being told not to take things personally, that’s all I’m interested in, because life is personal. You can’t be a leader worth following unless you can see and honor someone’s humanity: ~ What makes their heart hurt ~ What makes them laugh uncontrollably ~ What makes them wonderful and unique That’s the kind of leadership I’m interested in. The kind that’s personal. And that just may take a little de-cluttering and letting go of what and who doesn’t allow you to be the best version of who you’re called to be. Don’t let people, places, or things get in the way of you shining your light. Because the world needs you and your brilliance, now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to reflect on what’s taking up space in your life? Take 30 minutes today to identify one physical item or relationship that no longer serves you. Whether it’s an old piece of clothing, a cluttered drawer, or an obligation you’ve outgrown, release it with gratitude for its role in your life.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 3, 2025
Are you in integrity with yourself? That’s what the world is really asking when they see if you measure up as a leader worth following. The deeper you are in relationship with yourself, the greater you’re able to serve others and make a positive difference on the planet. You can’t be in integrity with yourself unless you’re able to access your emotions, to experience emotional well-being. See, most people sidestep the things they don’t want to deal with in their life. They do it all day long. They have hidden places, in dark corners, where they’d rather not look. The actions can look like no big deal, like saying ‘yes’ to something when you really want to say ‘no’. I mean it’s just easier to go along to get along. Yet when you do this, you’re out of integrity with yourself. And over time, the consequences are costly. You can stack up all of the wins, and get external validation, yet the person in the mirror will still be staring back at you. You can’t really hide from yourself. I’ve got a pretty tough exterior, and I was an emotional stuffer for years. It’s taken me a lifetime to understand that your emotions reveal where you’re off-track. When you choose to listen amidst the noise of the world, you can see what just may be getting in the way. Only if you’re willing to. Looking deep into your soul. The world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to pause and check in with yourself the next time you feel uncomfortable, frustrated, or out of alignment. Ask yourself: What is this emotion trying to show me about where I’m off track? Is there a hidden “yes” or “no” I’ve been avoiding? Once you’ve identified it, take one intentional step to honor what you uncover. Maybe it’s setting a boundary, speaking your truth, or letting go of something that no longer serves you. Your emotions are a guide, trust them, and see where they lead. 
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 13, 2025
When you aren’t willing to fully examine… ~ what you believe, ~ the size of your comfort zone, ~ and the operational effectiveness of your processes and systems... … you stay stuck. There is a hard cost to choosing to stay stuck. ~ Physically ~ Emotionally ~ Intellectually ~ Spiritually ~ Financially ~ Relationally ~ And to the health of your career or business. Moving forward requires change. And, change is uncomfortable for most people, especially when it requires letting go of what was. It's not usually external waves that cause your boat to sink... ... rather it's the SMALL HOLE INSIDE your BOAT that YOU'VE BEEN IGNORING. A little reflection goes a long way, along with conversations with someone you trust. ~ What have you been ignoring or putting off? ~ What haven't you been willing to look at? Ignoring or delaying doesn't typically help because that small hole may be getting bigger... The longer you delay looking at things, the sense of overwhelm grows too-- much like the feeling that the boat is filling up with water. Pretty soon you may be swimming inside your proverbial boat. What is the process for getting unstuck? It starts with a commitment to make a clear-eyed assessment of where you are. This requires both courage and vulnerability. The costs to stay stuck are high. Be willing to see where you might be off course without judgment. Remember, judgment and discernment are different. One is constructive, the other is destructive. Next focus on what you want . What's your desired outcome? Use your imagination to build the bridge in the gap between where you are and also from the goal ("end"). ~ What do you need to do? ~ Who do you need to be? If you can create it in your mind, you can create it in the world. While it may look different as you build and take each step... you'll be moving forward... Find the courage to take the first step. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to LOOK at where you are stuck and have been ignoring or delaying. Examine the situation with a neutral eye from multiple angles. What is your desired and designed outcome? CHOOSE the first step ... which might just be reaching out to someone for coaching. Have the courage to take that ACTION step. If you need support or resources... reach out . The world needs you and your brilliance. 
Upside Your Business & Your Life!
