To Be a Great Leader You Need to Utilize Emotional Intelligence
Lisa Marie Platske • October 25, 2018
Whenever Jim and I are out and about, and we see someone behave in a way that is rude or unkind, one of us will always offer another side to consider.
As someone who has experienced a lot of trauma and hurt in life, I’ve seen what a lack of emotional intelligence can do in heated situations.
From my work as a Federal law enforcement officer, I’ve learned that one of the most important leadership capabilities great leaders possess is emotional intelligence.
Defined as “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically,” the term emotional intelligence or EQ was created by two researches and popularized by Daniel Goleman with the release of his book in 1996 on the topic.
I remember reading it in my master’s program and thinking, “This is brilliant – and I’ve got work to do.”
Intellectually, you may get that taking swings at someone with your words just causes more hurt, however, developing EQ takes intention and action to develop because it involves feelings and is centered in the ancient brain center.
This means you can’t try to develop EQ skills in a cognitive (academic) manner the same way you develop your intelligence quotient or executive function which is centered in the prefrontal cortex.
EQ works in partnership with cognitive skills – and you need both to be successful.
Out-of-control emotions deprive people of their cognitive decision-making which is one of the reasons the importance of EQ increases as someone’s career advances or they become more influential.
Studies have shown that emotional competence is twice as important as technical competence for mid-level executives.
For top-level executives, 90% success comes from emotional competency.
The single cognitive competence shown to make a significant career difference is the ability for “big picture” thinking or what Kouzes and Posner refer to as being a “visionary” leader.
EQ or Emotional Intelligence is comprised of Personal Competence and Social Competence, and has 5 dimensions with 25 associated competencies.
The 1st dimension of EQ in personal competence (or ability to handle ourselves) is self-awareness.
What I find fascinating is you can be incredibly self-aware – and accurately assess your own emotional awareness and be incredibly self-confident, and never move into the 2nd dimension of self-regulation where you are able to manage your emotions.
Being a leader worth following has many challenges as you must often deal with difficult people, and sometimes you’re the lone voice for positive change in the world.
One of my favorite quotes sums up emotional intelligence: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King Jr. – and I think it sums up emotional intelligence.
Martin Luther King, Jr. modeled the behavior he called for in others recognizing it’s not valuable to take a stand against the harsh words of others using harsh words ourselves.
Ultimately, great leaders who are worth following are emotionally intelligent beings who listen to others, learn from their mistakes, love people for who they are, and forgive themselves and others for their mistakes and misgivings.
Action:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to think about your own emotional intelligence or EQ. Have you moved beyond self-awareness and mastered the 2nd dimension of self-regulation?
People follow the person first, then their great plan.
Be a leader worth following.
The world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 20, 2026
I've had the tendency to idolize my mentors. I would look past their imperfections, wanting only to see goodness in them. Don't make the same mistake I did. Mentors are just imperfect beings on the same journey you're on, and they've gleaned some wisdom from their missteps that can help you advance faster on your journey. That's the benefit of private coaching. And why I offer so little of it. I used to think I wanted to help everyone ... and that everyone had a problem that I could help them solve. That was a bit unrealistic—and dare I say, arrogant. Today I've got clarity around who I will work with—and who I won't. And it has less to do with their personal aptitude and more about their personal attitude towards God and a willingness to understand Divine Right Timing. You can't outgive God. I'm a living proof of that. What I have today did not come from striving harder or positioning myself in the spotlight. It came from obedience layered over time. ~ From saying yes when it was inconvenient. ~ From giving when the numbers did not justify it. ~ From trusting God with my pace, my work, and my future. I own several hundred acres of land across three states—and grew up in a household where money did not flow freely. My first year working in Federal law enforcement I made less than $25,000 a year. There was no visible pathway from there to here. And every time I’ve tried to outwork Him, outmaneuver Him, or rush what wasn’t ripe, I’ve paid for it in exhaustion and misalignment. Yet, every time I’ve trusted Him, honored timing, and given from obedience rather than fear, the return has exceeded anything I could have engineered. Yes, some things don't make sense, yet when you map out a God plan, you don't try to do all of the heavy lifting yourself. And that takes a different kind of Leader. Someone who doesn't need to be on center stage 24x7. That’s the framework I lead from. That’s the lens I coach through. Because the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to give God room to lead. Look at one area of your work or leadership where you’ve been forcing results. Stop trying to control it. Step back and ask God to guide your next move. Take one real action: delegate, pause before deciding, or simply wait on His direction. Watch how alignment show up when you stop doing all the heavy lifting yourself. Lastly, share what you discover with me, your mentor, or someone close to you. Speaking it aloud helps you see your next move clearly and step into it with confidence.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 13, 2026
Are you thinking of how your choices today are affecting future generations? As someone who doesn't have kids, this used to rarely be on my radar. Yet your choice to bring to life the work that you're called to do will impact the future of your lineage—and folks you've never met. What story will you create based on the choices you make today? See, you create your legacy with the choices that you make right now. The long-lasting impact of your actions can leave behind creations that are innovative and impactful. Take for example the 13-year-old kid who decided to leave a happy note in every bag at the grocery store, just to create a little more cheer in the world. That's legacy. Or what about the kid who practiced free throws every night after school for 3 hours—and then went on to lead his team to the championship in his senior year in college. That's legacy. I remember a few years ago, I hired someone to organize the SOPs and processes for my company. At the time, it felt like a lot of extra work and I wondered if it was worth it. Years later, that choice made everything flow smoother, less rushed, and allowed me and my team to focus on the work we were truly called to do. That’s legacy. Leadership is, as much about what you do in the here and now as it is about legacy for future generations to come. Every one of these moments, big or small, ripples far beyond what you can see today. Each day, each decision plants seeds for generations we may never meet. Tend them with care, with intention, and with faith, trusting that what you do today becomes the foundation for what is possible tomorrow. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to build for someone you will never meet. Choose one action this week that will not benefit you immediately. It could be documenting a process so someone else can lead more easily. Or speaking encouragement that strengthens someone’s confidence long after the moment passes. Or making a decision that protects the future even when the present would prefer convenience. As you do it, hold this prayer quietly, “May this serve beyond me.” Release the outcome. This is leadership that thinks generationally.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 6, 2026
Divine obedience. I can't say for most of my life I understood what it meant. To be in the listening to where God wants me to be requires choosing to have enough time and space to listen. Yet I've always been rewarded by doing things quickly. Time and space seemed unnecessary. Or they were needed for folks who didn't learn or pick something up as fast as I did. When I type that now, I almost cringe. "Be still—and know that I am God." It is in the stillness, the soft whisper, that I often get to meet God. And that was elusive for big chunks of time in my life. I'd be running from one event to the next ... running from one opportunity and experience, and often get there out of breath, only to head out again on what I told myself was the next adventure. Rarely did I ever stop and consider where God wanted to lead me. Rarely did my leadership include Him. Rarely did I end up someplace refreshed and renewed—and at peace. Looking back, I can see the patterns that ran my life, and how far away from divine obedience they were. Yet that's what free will is about. The ability to choose. With intention. When you listen to the world's ways, you'll always end up depleted because you're never doing enough. Divine obedience has you listen, and carve out a path of peace and ease. That doesn't mean everything will go your way. Far from it. It does mean that you get to walk every moment stress-free. Even when it looks like everything around you is crashing down. I've lived through fires, floods, and tornados ... and walked away unscathed. I'm not sure the odds of doing this are even possible, let alone probable. Yet here I am. In the midst of the storm, and there will always be a storm, your leadership will ensure you walk on water or drown. With divine obedience, the former is a guarantee. And I gotta tell you that writing all of this out feels scary. For decades, I've been celebrated for my left-brain business mind ... the part of me that doesn't let emotion or things like faith get in the way of building a business with a sound strategy, processes, and standard operating procedures. I can—and have—helped scale hundreds of businesses to reach the elusive 7-figure mark in business, and I still do that in my work today. Yet, today I don't do it without taking everything to prayer. You may have met me when that wasn't how I operated, and my current business model doesn't work for you. And I get that. I just can no longer pretend that I'm somebody that I'm not. I take a fierce stand for my clients and their success—and for me, that involves taking every problem and challenge they face to God first. Together, we create a solution that is designed for the betterment of mankind —and includes everyone in their life. Again, I don't love talking about this. And, it's my Truth. So, how often do you stop and listen to where God is trying to lead you? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to create space before you create movement. Choose one moment each day where you would normally push ahead. And instead of doing, stop. Sit in stillness for three minutes and invite God into the moment. Ask, “What is mine to do right now?” Wait. Take only the next faithful step you sense. This is divine obedience practiced daily. Calm leadership that walks on water.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 30, 2026
I wonder how much time I've spent trying to figure out how I'm going to get something to work. I wonder how many hours I've tried to get something "right" or figure out how I'm going to do something. I wonder how many minutes I've belabored what it would take to get what I wanted—and how it was going to happen. And it's not just me. Everyone wants to know "the how" of something coming together. That's part of the danger of spending too much time in the thinking mind. It wants answers. Yet the mind-brain was designed to keep humans safe. That's why there is a fight-or-flight mechanism wired inside each one of us. Over time, man began relying on the thinking mind for more than God ever envisioned. When I have a pressing problem, I used to believe I could think my way out of it, seeking the "right" way forward. Now, I take it to prayer, trusting that there's probably something I can't see on my own that will lead to a solution with greater ease than I can see on my own. Doing the heavy lifting myself is something I was accustomed to doing. I can hustle and grind, and muscle and might my way through just about anything. When others would give up, I'd still be standing because of my inner resolve to win. Yet choosing to live and run my business this way led to greater struggles, heartache, and feeling overburdened than asking God to lead ever did. This doesn't mean I get to abdicate responsibility and just surrender to whatever comes my way. Walking with intention requires personal responsibility. The how isn't any of my business as long as I stay the course, listening to where God's leading me. And the same is true for you, too. Most problems require stillness, presence, and an invocation of the answer that you can't see on your own. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one thing you have been carrying in your head. Before you do something with it, pause and invite God into the moment. Then set a 15-minute timer and take one clear, practical action that is already in front of you. Stay present with the work until the timer ends. When the time is up, stop and release the rest back to God. This is how trust becomes embodied leadership, one intentional step at a time.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 20, 2026
I've had the tendency to idolize my mentors. I would look past their imperfections, wanting only to see goodness in them. Don't make the same mistake I did. Mentors are just imperfect beings on the same journey you're on, and they've gleaned some wisdom from their missteps that can help you advance faster on your journey. That's the benefit of private coaching. And why I offer so little of it. I used to think I wanted to help everyone ... and that everyone had a problem that I could help them solve. That was a bit unrealistic—and dare I say, arrogant. Today I've got clarity around who I will work with—and who I won't. And it has less to do with their personal aptitude and more about their personal attitude towards God and a willingness to understand Divine Right Timing. You can't outgive God. I'm a living proof of that. What I have today did not come from striving harder or positioning myself in the spotlight. It came from obedience layered over time. ~ From saying yes when it was inconvenient. ~ From giving when the numbers did not justify it. ~ From trusting God with my pace, my work, and my future. I own several hundred acres of land across three states—and grew up in a household where money did not flow freely. My first year working in Federal law enforcement I made less than $25,000 a year. There was no visible pathway from there to here. And every time I’ve tried to outwork Him, outmaneuver Him, or rush what wasn’t ripe, I’ve paid for it in exhaustion and misalignment. Yet, every time I’ve trusted Him, honored timing, and given from obedience rather than fear, the return has exceeded anything I could have engineered. Yes, some things don't make sense, yet when you map out a God plan, you don't try to do all of the heavy lifting yourself. And that takes a different kind of Leader. Someone who doesn't need to be on center stage 24x7. That’s the framework I lead from. That’s the lens I coach through. Because the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to give God room to lead. Look at one area of your work or leadership where you’ve been forcing results. Stop trying to control it. Step back and ask God to guide your next move. Take one real action: delegate, pause before deciding, or simply wait on His direction. Watch how alignment show up when you stop doing all the heavy lifting yourself. Lastly, share what you discover with me, your mentor, or someone close to you. Speaking it aloud helps you see your next move clearly and step into it with confidence.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 13, 2026
Are you thinking of how your choices today are affecting future generations? As someone who doesn't have kids, this used to rarely be on my radar. Yet your choice to bring to life the work that you're called to do will impact the future of your lineage—and folks you've never met. What story will you create based on the choices you make today? See, you create your legacy with the choices that you make right now. The long-lasting impact of your actions can leave behind creations that are innovative and impactful. Take for example the 13-year-old kid who decided to leave a happy note in every bag at the grocery store, just to create a little more cheer in the world. That's legacy. Or what about the kid who practiced free throws every night after school for 3 hours—and then went on to lead his team to the championship in his senior year in college. That's legacy. I remember a few years ago, I hired someone to organize the SOPs and processes for my company. At the time, it felt like a lot of extra work and I wondered if it was worth it. Years later, that choice made everything flow smoother, less rushed, and allowed me and my team to focus on the work we were truly called to do. That’s legacy. Leadership is, as much about what you do in the here and now as it is about legacy for future generations to come. Every one of these moments, big or small, ripples far beyond what you can see today. Each day, each decision plants seeds for generations we may never meet. Tend them with care, with intention, and with faith, trusting that what you do today becomes the foundation for what is possible tomorrow. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to build for someone you will never meet. Choose one action this week that will not benefit you immediately. It could be documenting a process so someone else can lead more easily. Or speaking encouragement that strengthens someone’s confidence long after the moment passes. Or making a decision that protects the future even when the present would prefer convenience. As you do it, hold this prayer quietly, “May this serve beyond me.” Release the outcome. This is leadership that thinks generationally.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 6, 2026
Divine obedience. I can't say for most of my life I understood what it meant. To be in the listening to where God wants me to be requires choosing to have enough time and space to listen. Yet I've always been rewarded by doing things quickly. Time and space seemed unnecessary. Or they were needed for folks who didn't learn or pick something up as fast as I did. When I type that now, I almost cringe. "Be still—and know that I am God." It is in the stillness, the soft whisper, that I often get to meet God. And that was elusive for big chunks of time in my life. I'd be running from one event to the next ... running from one opportunity and experience, and often get there out of breath, only to head out again on what I told myself was the next adventure. Rarely did I ever stop and consider where God wanted to lead me. Rarely did my leadership include Him. Rarely did I end up someplace refreshed and renewed—and at peace. Looking back, I can see the patterns that ran my life, and how far away from divine obedience they were. Yet that's what free will is about. The ability to choose. With intention. When you listen to the world's ways, you'll always end up depleted because you're never doing enough. Divine obedience has you listen, and carve out a path of peace and ease. That doesn't mean everything will go your way. Far from it. It does mean that you get to walk every moment stress-free. Even when it looks like everything around you is crashing down. I've lived through fires, floods, and tornados ... and walked away unscathed. I'm not sure the odds of doing this are even possible, let alone probable. Yet here I am. In the midst of the storm, and there will always be a storm, your leadership will ensure you walk on water or drown. With divine obedience, the former is a guarantee. And I gotta tell you that writing all of this out feels scary. For decades, I've been celebrated for my left-brain business mind ... the part of me that doesn't let emotion or things like faith get in the way of building a business with a sound strategy, processes, and standard operating procedures. I can—and have—helped scale hundreds of businesses to reach the elusive 7-figure mark in business, and I still do that in my work today. Yet, today I don't do it without taking everything to prayer. You may have met me when that wasn't how I operated, and my current business model doesn't work for you. And I get that. I just can no longer pretend that I'm somebody that I'm not. I take a fierce stand for my clients and their success—and for me, that involves taking every problem and challenge they face to God first. Together, we create a solution that is designed for the betterment of mankind —and includes everyone in their life. Again, I don't love talking about this. And, it's my Truth. So, how often do you stop and listen to where God is trying to lead you? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to create space before you create movement. Choose one moment each day where you would normally push ahead. And instead of doing, stop. Sit in stillness for three minutes and invite God into the moment. Ask, “What is mine to do right now?” Wait. Take only the next faithful step you sense. This is divine obedience practiced daily. Calm leadership that walks on water.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 30, 2026
I wonder how much time I've spent trying to figure out how I'm going to get something to work. I wonder how many hours I've tried to get something "right" or figure out how I'm going to do something. I wonder how many minutes I've belabored what it would take to get what I wanted—and how it was going to happen. And it's not just me. Everyone wants to know "the how" of something coming together. That's part of the danger of spending too much time in the thinking mind. It wants answers. Yet the mind-brain was designed to keep humans safe. That's why there is a fight-or-flight mechanism wired inside each one of us. Over time, man began relying on the thinking mind for more than God ever envisioned. When I have a pressing problem, I used to believe I could think my way out of it, seeking the "right" way forward. Now, I take it to prayer, trusting that there's probably something I can't see on my own that will lead to a solution with greater ease than I can see on my own. Doing the heavy lifting myself is something I was accustomed to doing. I can hustle and grind, and muscle and might my way through just about anything. When others would give up, I'd still be standing because of my inner resolve to win. Yet choosing to live and run my business this way led to greater struggles, heartache, and feeling overburdened than asking God to lead ever did. This doesn't mean I get to abdicate responsibility and just surrender to whatever comes my way. Walking with intention requires personal responsibility. The how isn't any of my business as long as I stay the course, listening to where God's leading me. And the same is true for you, too. Most problems require stillness, presence, and an invocation of the answer that you can't see on your own. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one thing you have been carrying in your head. Before you do something with it, pause and invite God into the moment. Then set a 15-minute timer and take one clear, practical action that is already in front of you. Stay present with the work until the timer ends. When the time is up, stop and release the rest back to God. This is how trust becomes embodied leadership, one intentional step at a time.
