Choosing Forgiveness…It’s Not About Them
This week I invite you to choose forgiveness. Whatever you are dealing with right now. Step into your greatness, by choosing forgiveness. Because your destiny is about you and you alone.
I received 27 emails, phone calls or hand-written cards expressing love and gratitude for what I gave on stage at Design Your Destiny Live.
And, still it showed up.
Again.
Harsh criticism.
(Or, at least that’s the way it feels.)
Sometimes it shows up after I post a particularly provocative Upside Thought.
Other times it happens after I post something on social media and give voice to something that makes someone uncomfortable.
This time it came from someone who felt she had the right to give me “feedback” after I poured my heart and soul on stage at my live event.
It showed up in the form of a 2 and ½ page typed letter that was mailed to my home, describing in detail all of the things I did or didn’t do (mostly didn’t do) right at my event from her perspective.
Voicing what was “wrong” about the event, she outlined countless elements from who I chose as panelists, to the way the modules were scheduled, to who I called on, to how I interact with the audience, my comments about law enforcement and much more.
She shared her credentials in the latter part of the communication so that I understood she had the right to judge me.
Using words like she was hoping I was open to “constructive feedback” is usually what someone says to make themselves feel better when they make the decision to be right over being kind.
So, why would I decide to write about this in my Upside Thought?
Because when you make the decision to step out into your calling, there are no guarantees that it will be easy or you won’t be trampled upon – even when you do your best.
There will always be individuals who believe that they have the right to criticize your work.
Choosing Forgiveness - Upside Thinking
Yes, in a world where you may be called to make a difference, there will always be people who challenge you.
Yet, comfort doesn’t change the world.
Her words will not silence me, nor will I allow her to be the judge and jury of my work.
This is work I have been called to do; it is my mission and purpose.
As someone who is committed to mercy, justice, and protection, it is not lost on me that part of the curriculum at Design Your Destiny Live is forgiveness of self and others so this was a great place for me to practice what I preach and be gentle on myself – with a little help from my friends.
Because I serve on the board of Project Forgive, a global organization that provides education on the healing effects of forgiveness, I take my responsibility seriously and am accountable for my actions at all times.
On day #1 at my live event, I share an acronym and poem that seems appropriate to end this week’s Upside Thought.
To “adore” means to “love and respect deeply”.
When you adore your life, magic happens and designing your destiny is easier. (Note: I said “easier”, not easy)
A – Accept what needs to change.
D – Decide to trust that everything is conspiring for my greatest good.
O – Order my steps toward forgiveness in all areas of my life.
R– Renew what is most beautiful inside of me.
E – Expand my love and compassion towards others.
“People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attach you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.“
– The Paradoxical Commandments by Dr. Kent M. Keith
Choosing Forgiveness
Whatever you are dealing with right now — a difficult boss, a nasty neighbor, a rebellious child, an aging parent – please realize that this circumstance has nothing to do with how wonderful you are or your capacity to make a big difference in the world.
Choose to love and forgive them anyway……
…because it was never about them anyway.
The world needs you and your brilliance.
Remember, the people you are called to serve are waiting for you – and only they can hear your message.
So, don’t worry about the people who don’t get it.
Your message wasn’t meant for them anyway.
Action Item: Choosing Forgiveness - Upside Thinking
The Upside Challenge of the week is to think about someone who has hurt you and choose to forgive their actions – because this is what leaders worth following do.
Comfort doesn’t change the world.
Vulnerability changes everything.
Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance.
See Upside. Be Upside. Lead Upside.
