How To Enjoy And Embrace Time Alone
Lisa Marie Platske • November 14, 2016
It took me a while to realize how good it is to spend time alone. But when you enjoy and embrace time alone, you are embracing who you are.
When I travel, I’m either enjoying a good meal by myself in a local restaurant or taking advantage of room service and dining alone in my room.
I used the word “enjoying” intentionally because years ago I would have struggled to utter the words “Table for one” — or been embarrassed when the front desk asked, “Will this be room service for one?”
These were the days when I wasn’t an Upside Thinker and my mind could play tricks on me.
Because I was far from the cool kid in school, being alone meant that I wasn’t good enough to be with people.
So, I filled my days with meaningless conversations and empty relationships just so that I didn’t have to be alone.
And, I hated myself for it.
What’s funny as I look back is that I didn’t give myself permission to realize just how cool I was.
I mean sure I was the kid in school who didn’t have the latest styles or most fashionable haircuts, but how cool was I to have a Mom who could kick it up on the dance floor in red hot pants during the Disco era?!? Or, knew the value of education outside the classroom, so she created field trips and outings to Broadway on school days to teach my little sister and me the benefit of art and theater?!? (Unfortunately, at the time, while other kids were longing for the cool Mom, all I wanted to do was fit in.)
How cool was I to have people in my life who loved me unconditionally?!?
How cool was I to be brave enough to embark on a career in law enforcement?!?
How cool was I to open a business without a business degree, living in a new state, with my closest connections living 3000 miles away?!?
How cool was I?!?
Pretty darn cool.
Sadly, my mind played tricks on me making me believe that spending time with other people is what made me be “good enough.”
What Happens When You Embrace Time Alone embrace time alone
If I could go back and tell the younger Lisa Marie about the truths I’ve learned in this arena of leadership, here is what I would share:
- Happiness, love, and joy are not something to hope for in the future. They are to be created and embraced in the here and now.
- Being alone doesn’t equate to being lonely. It’s possible to be with someone and feel more alone than when you’re by yourself — and to be alone and be completely at peace.
- Loneliness isn’t fixed when you surround yourself with more people. There were times when I would be sitting across from someone and feel alone. When I learned how to be unapologetically me, I became someone I wanted to be around, and others followed.
- Stop expecting perfection from imperfect people. I used to miss out on what was good because I was waiting for perfect to show up.
- Know the difference between fact and fiction. The stories that you create in your mind’s eye when someone walks by may only be a glimpse of their life. Stop writing the fairy tale story every time you see someone walk by. “He/she looks so happy. They must have an easy life. I bet he buys her flowers every week. I bet she makes him breakfast in bed. They must be the best of friends.” What people show us on the outside is not always what’s going on on the inside.
Being an Upside Thinker doesn’t me always remember this or that I’m always happy – and neither will you.
Last week, I had an emotional breakdown complete with sobbing and incoherent mutterings.
I’m thankful that my husband Jim and my dear friend Jo were there to pick up the pieces. Fortunately, those moments pass quickly (this one was about 10 minutes), but they still happen.
In my 7 Pillars of Leadership, the 2nd pillar is to know your personality.
Know your strengths.
Know what gets in the way of your great plan.
I’m always what gets in the way of my great plan.
More often than not, people tell me the same is true for them.
But, if you embrace who you are, what you want, and why it matters – the 3 foundational elements for my 1st book, Designing Your Destiny, you’ll discover that you can minimize sabotaging your plan, get more of what you want, and do it while enjoying every part of who you are.
Action Item:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to spend some time alone in a place that you would typically not go alone. Notice what comes up for you. Notice how you feel. And, then be sure to give yourself room to stretch into a new vision of what is possible for you to create throughout 2017.
People follow the person first, not their great plan. Be someone worth following.
See Upside. Be Upside. Live Upside.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 8, 2025
I've been doing "behind the scenes" coaching for over a decade. Most folks who come to me seek to diagnose the wrong problem. You don't need more information or another book to read. You don't need more motivation or another podcast to fire you up. You don't even need more self-awareness, disguised as 50 hypothetical questions to answer. What most folks need is a little more quiet in their life. They need space to hear their Yes and NO clearly. They need the ability to pause before moving forward like a runaway freight train when making a decision. And that’s part of why I created the Upside Warrior Men’s Retreat. It’s not something flashy. In fact, it's happening quietly right now—intentionally designed to be an unhurried space for men to breathe, reset, and reconnect with the voice inside that knows what truly matters. See, most folks try to cram 25 hours or more into their 24-hour day, trying to win some imaginary productivity award. They've listened to one too many "expert" who tells them that only folks that are unmotivated and unfocused sleep in past 4:30am. If they want to be successful, they better know how to hustle. I bought into this bill of goods early in my career, believing that rest was for people who were lazy. What I've witnessed from folks who live this way is that they'll either: act out, burn out, or get sick. And I've walked that same path myself. When you give yourself space throughout the day, you begin connecting to an inner wisdom that will serve as a guide to making better decisions. And you get clarity on the first step to take ... and then the next. Life becomes more enjoyable and less of a marathon. So, wherever you are today—whether you’re running fast or finally catching your breath—I hope this serves as a gentle reminder: You don’t have to do more to be more. You don’t have to prove your worth through motion. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is pause... to make space and to listen for what’s next. That’s what this season has been about for me and for the men currently in retreat—creating space to hear what really matters. The truest one. And I want that for you too. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to pause instead of pushing forward. When you feel the urge to jump in, fix, respond, or say yes too quickly, choose stillness. Let presence lead. Pause before replying to a triggering email. Take a breath before offering a solution. Hold silence in a meeting instead of rushing to fill it. In those quiet moments, you may find that clarity, wisdom, and strength speak loudest when you do less, not more.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 1, 2025
Years ago, I thought I had to be friends with everyone I met. Growing up, I was told it was rude to exclude folks from your circle so I stopped being choosey and let EVERYONE in. This led to me being around folks who were upsetting to my system ... ... folks who were out of integrity with themselves ... folks who weren't trustworthy, and ... folks who didn't honor who I was. As a little girl, I spent time around folks who were like that and became numb to breaks in integrity. Back then, I didn't have the ability to discern the difference which is why the relationship I had with my grandparents was important. They lived their life honestly, despite the circumstances that often surrounded them. See my grandparents lived in the not-so-good part of town. My grandfather sat on the sofa with the police radio chatter in his ear all day long. Robberies, burglaries, and drug deals were all too common. They were woven into the fabric of the neighborhood. You could hear gunshots and police sirens throughout the day. Despite growing up with that all around me, my grandparents modeled having a strong work ethic and doing the right thing no matter what. Because when that's in the background, you unconsciously don't see the world as a safe place. My system was out of whack without me even knowing it. That's what I love so much about living at Summit Hills Farm. Every day, I get to spend time out in nature. Research shows that spending time in nature improves your physical and mental health. Being around the trees and walking on the land reduces stress, lowers cortisol levels, and reduces blood pressure. It calms the mind and body. See, I used to be an "All Are Welcome" kinda gal until I realized that wasn't healthy, and it didn't align with how God created me. I'm built to challenge ... to confront ... and to push folks past their growth edges. I'm not the kinda gal who's going to tell you what you want to hear. I'm the kinda gal who's going to tell you what you need to hear. So this I tell you... It’s not about where you grew up or how much you’ve had to overcome. We’ve all got stories that carry both beauty and ache. What matters is whether you remember who you are in the middle of it all. For a long time, I wore openness like a badge of honor, until I realized I was handing out access to people who hadn’t earned the right to hold space with me. When you’re clear on who you are, what you want, and why it matters, you begin to choose differently. That’s the kind of work I’ve been doing quietly behind the scenes for years—helping leaders return to themselves. And it’s the heart behind the retreats like the Upside Warrior Men's Retreat Because when you create space to remember what’s true, you lead with more courage, more clarity, and more peace. And that changes everything. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to honor one aligned yes. Choose one area of your life—your calendar, a conversation, a commitment—and ask: Is this aligned with who I am and what I value? If it is, give it your full-hearted yes. If it’s not, lovingly release it. Saying yes to what aligns with you is how you build a life rooted in clarity, peace, and purpose.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
August 25, 2025
Most folks understand the concept of rest. When you expend "x" amount of energy, your body is going to require you to replenish. Yet there's a certain type of weariness that no amount of sleep will produce the feeling of being energized in your body. When you're exhausted to the core, and it feels as if you've been wrung out like a dish rag, that level of fatigue is only overcome by giving your Soul rest. Living in a world where books about how to achieve more are plentiful, this isn't a conversation that's abundant in the business space. You've got to know how to hustle and grind when things get tough. I grew up hearing, "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going." I never heard about The Power of the Pause, or refueling my Soul. And so I pushed. And pushed a little more. And a little more. And figured I was just doing life wrong as all I got was more and more tired ... and a little bit angrier on the inside. Rest isn't about sleep. It's about peace. When you operate from this place, the trials that you face are easier to handle. If you spend your precious minutes criticizing, worrying, or comparing yourself to others, you cannot live your best life and lead others effectively. Out-of-control emotions fueled by fear or anxiety may make you feel as if there's more for you to do or you're not doing enough. Yet that's just fear. ~ Fear of getting something wrong and messing up your life ~ Fear of not figuring out what you're 'supposed' to be doing ~ Fear of disappointing yourself and others if you do or don't do something I could go on and on. Just pick one. And fear can be exhausting. It steals your peace, clouds your judgment, and keeps you stuck in cycles that wear you down from the inside out. This is why I’ve devoted my life’s work to walking alongside purpose-led leaders. Because I’ve seen what happens when you try to push through that kind of soul-deep fatigue alone or to keep going because people are counting on you, even when you’re running on fumes. And I also know what’s possible when you choose to lead from a place of alignment, when your soul is at peace, not just your calendar. Because when you lead from real rest, you show up steady and with ease. That kind of leadership is born from surrender. So pause. Set down the pressure to prove. Rest. Rest your mind from overthinking. Rest your spirit from striving. And most of all, rest in God. Remember, the world needs you and brilliance now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to pause and realign before your next move. In the middle of your busy day, before you jump into the next task, stop. Take a deep breath and ground yourself. Ask this clearly: Is this the work I’m called to do right now? Does it align with who I am and the purpose I carry? If it doesn’t, lean into the wisdom to delegate or let it go. Leading well means knowing where to invest your energy and where to release control. This pause is a moment to realign your body, mind, and spirit so you lead from peace, clarity, and strength.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
August 18, 2025
Good things are waiting for you around every single corner. One of my favorite movie lines comes from "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" when Dev Patel says, " Everything will be alright in the end, so if it's not alright it's not the end. " There is a 2nd part of his quote that few folks remember - and that is, " The only real failure is the failure to try, and the measure of success is how we cope with disappointment. " I get that it’s not always been easy for you. It may feel like heartache and disappointment show up around every corner. Yet I hope you can see how everything that happens to you can be turned into good. I recently asked a client if they believed that God made mistakes—and they said "no". So if God doesn't make mistakes and all is perfect, then every situation, time, and place you've been in has been given to you for a reason. And they paused, sighed, and agreed. This is why I believe so much in the sovereignty of your being, and your ability to live from a place of choice and intention. When you get this, it makes you different than the many others on the planet who complain about their fate or circumstances. Courageous leadership takes, well, courage. You were never promised easy on your journey—and you can create ease and grace by remembering that you are the master of your fate and the captain of your destiny. That’s the foundation I built my business on. When I first began creating my programs and retreats, I didn’t do it because it was simple or convenient. I did it because I saw a gap between where people were and who they were called to be. I knew the pain of disappointment and the ache of untapped potential and I also knew there was a way through it with purpose, alignment, and leadership. So I started small. One courageous moment at a time. Each program, each retreat, each private session was designed to meet people right where they were and help them rise. I believe you can rise, too. There is more for you. There is so much more within you. Good things are waiting for you around every single corner. Go shine your light. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stand tall—literally. Each morning this week, before you start your day, stand up, roll your shoulders back, plant your feet firmly, and take one deep breath as if you’re stepping fully into your purpose. Then do one round of box breathing: Inhale for 4 counts Hold for 4 counts Exhale for 4 counts Hold for 4 counts Repeat this cycle twice. Let your body remember: You are the captain of your destiny. You are walking in purpose. You are ready for what’s next.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 8, 2025
I've been doing "behind the scenes" coaching for over a decade. Most folks who come to me seek to diagnose the wrong problem. You don't need more information or another book to read. You don't need more motivation or another podcast to fire you up. You don't even need more self-awareness, disguised as 50 hypothetical questions to answer. What most folks need is a little more quiet in their life. They need space to hear their Yes and NO clearly. They need the ability to pause before moving forward like a runaway freight train when making a decision. And that’s part of why I created the Upside Warrior Men’s Retreat. It’s not something flashy. In fact, it's happening quietly right now—intentionally designed to be an unhurried space for men to breathe, reset, and reconnect with the voice inside that knows what truly matters. See, most folks try to cram 25 hours or more into their 24-hour day, trying to win some imaginary productivity award. They've listened to one too many "expert" who tells them that only folks that are unmotivated and unfocused sleep in past 4:30am. If they want to be successful, they better know how to hustle. I bought into this bill of goods early in my career, believing that rest was for people who were lazy. What I've witnessed from folks who live this way is that they'll either: act out, burn out, or get sick. And I've walked that same path myself. When you give yourself space throughout the day, you begin connecting to an inner wisdom that will serve as a guide to making better decisions. And you get clarity on the first step to take ... and then the next. Life becomes more enjoyable and less of a marathon. So, wherever you are today—whether you’re running fast or finally catching your breath—I hope this serves as a gentle reminder: You don’t have to do more to be more. You don’t have to prove your worth through motion. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is pause... to make space and to listen for what’s next. That’s what this season has been about for me and for the men currently in retreat—creating space to hear what really matters. The truest one. And I want that for you too. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to pause instead of pushing forward. When you feel the urge to jump in, fix, respond, or say yes too quickly, choose stillness. Let presence lead. Pause before replying to a triggering email. Take a breath before offering a solution. Hold silence in a meeting instead of rushing to fill it. In those quiet moments, you may find that clarity, wisdom, and strength speak loudest when you do less, not more.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
September 1, 2025
Years ago, I thought I had to be friends with everyone I met. Growing up, I was told it was rude to exclude folks from your circle so I stopped being choosey and let EVERYONE in. This led to me being around folks who were upsetting to my system ... ... folks who were out of integrity with themselves ... folks who weren't trustworthy, and ... folks who didn't honor who I was. As a little girl, I spent time around folks who were like that and became numb to breaks in integrity. Back then, I didn't have the ability to discern the difference which is why the relationship I had with my grandparents was important. They lived their life honestly, despite the circumstances that often surrounded them. See my grandparents lived in the not-so-good part of town. My grandfather sat on the sofa with the police radio chatter in his ear all day long. Robberies, burglaries, and drug deals were all too common. They were woven into the fabric of the neighborhood. You could hear gunshots and police sirens throughout the day. Despite growing up with that all around me, my grandparents modeled having a strong work ethic and doing the right thing no matter what. Because when that's in the background, you unconsciously don't see the world as a safe place. My system was out of whack without me even knowing it. That's what I love so much about living at Summit Hills Farm. Every day, I get to spend time out in nature. Research shows that spending time in nature improves your physical and mental health. Being around the trees and walking on the land reduces stress, lowers cortisol levels, and reduces blood pressure. It calms the mind and body. See, I used to be an "All Are Welcome" kinda gal until I realized that wasn't healthy, and it didn't align with how God created me. I'm built to challenge ... to confront ... and to push folks past their growth edges. I'm not the kinda gal who's going to tell you what you want to hear. I'm the kinda gal who's going to tell you what you need to hear. So this I tell you... It’s not about where you grew up or how much you’ve had to overcome. We’ve all got stories that carry both beauty and ache. What matters is whether you remember who you are in the middle of it all. For a long time, I wore openness like a badge of honor, until I realized I was handing out access to people who hadn’t earned the right to hold space with me. When you’re clear on who you are, what you want, and why it matters, you begin to choose differently. That’s the kind of work I’ve been doing quietly behind the scenes for years—helping leaders return to themselves. And it’s the heart behind the retreats like the Upside Warrior Men's Retreat Because when you create space to remember what’s true, you lead with more courage, more clarity, and more peace. And that changes everything. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to honor one aligned yes. Choose one area of your life—your calendar, a conversation, a commitment—and ask: Is this aligned with who I am and what I value? If it is, give it your full-hearted yes. If it’s not, lovingly release it. Saying yes to what aligns with you is how you build a life rooted in clarity, peace, and purpose.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
August 25, 2025
Most folks understand the concept of rest. When you expend "x" amount of energy, your body is going to require you to replenish. Yet there's a certain type of weariness that no amount of sleep will produce the feeling of being energized in your body. When you're exhausted to the core, and it feels as if you've been wrung out like a dish rag, that level of fatigue is only overcome by giving your Soul rest. Living in a world where books about how to achieve more are plentiful, this isn't a conversation that's abundant in the business space. You've got to know how to hustle and grind when things get tough. I grew up hearing, "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going." I never heard about The Power of the Pause, or refueling my Soul. And so I pushed. And pushed a little more. And a little more. And figured I was just doing life wrong as all I got was more and more tired ... and a little bit angrier on the inside. Rest isn't about sleep. It's about peace. When you operate from this place, the trials that you face are easier to handle. If you spend your precious minutes criticizing, worrying, or comparing yourself to others, you cannot live your best life and lead others effectively. Out-of-control emotions fueled by fear or anxiety may make you feel as if there's more for you to do or you're not doing enough. Yet that's just fear. ~ Fear of getting something wrong and messing up your life ~ Fear of not figuring out what you're 'supposed' to be doing ~ Fear of disappointing yourself and others if you do or don't do something I could go on and on. Just pick one. And fear can be exhausting. It steals your peace, clouds your judgment, and keeps you stuck in cycles that wear you down from the inside out. This is why I’ve devoted my life’s work to walking alongside purpose-led leaders. Because I’ve seen what happens when you try to push through that kind of soul-deep fatigue alone or to keep going because people are counting on you, even when you’re running on fumes. And I also know what’s possible when you choose to lead from a place of alignment, when your soul is at peace, not just your calendar. Because when you lead from real rest, you show up steady and with ease. That kind of leadership is born from surrender. So pause. Set down the pressure to prove. Rest. Rest your mind from overthinking. Rest your spirit from striving. And most of all, rest in God. Remember, the world needs you and brilliance now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to pause and realign before your next move. In the middle of your busy day, before you jump into the next task, stop. Take a deep breath and ground yourself. Ask this clearly: Is this the work I’m called to do right now? Does it align with who I am and the purpose I carry? If it doesn’t, lean into the wisdom to delegate or let it go. Leading well means knowing where to invest your energy and where to release control. This pause is a moment to realign your body, mind, and spirit so you lead from peace, clarity, and strength.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
August 18, 2025
Good things are waiting for you around every single corner. One of my favorite movie lines comes from "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" when Dev Patel says, " Everything will be alright in the end, so if it's not alright it's not the end. " There is a 2nd part of his quote that few folks remember - and that is, " The only real failure is the failure to try, and the measure of success is how we cope with disappointment. " I get that it’s not always been easy for you. It may feel like heartache and disappointment show up around every corner. Yet I hope you can see how everything that happens to you can be turned into good. I recently asked a client if they believed that God made mistakes—and they said "no". So if God doesn't make mistakes and all is perfect, then every situation, time, and place you've been in has been given to you for a reason. And they paused, sighed, and agreed. This is why I believe so much in the sovereignty of your being, and your ability to live from a place of choice and intention. When you get this, it makes you different than the many others on the planet who complain about their fate or circumstances. Courageous leadership takes, well, courage. You were never promised easy on your journey—and you can create ease and grace by remembering that you are the master of your fate and the captain of your destiny. That’s the foundation I built my business on. When I first began creating my programs and retreats, I didn’t do it because it was simple or convenient. I did it because I saw a gap between where people were and who they were called to be. I knew the pain of disappointment and the ache of untapped potential and I also knew there was a way through it with purpose, alignment, and leadership. So I started small. One courageous moment at a time. Each program, each retreat, each private session was designed to meet people right where they were and help them rise. I believe you can rise, too. There is more for you. There is so much more within you. Good things are waiting for you around every single corner. Go shine your light. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stand tall—literally. Each morning this week, before you start your day, stand up, roll your shoulders back, plant your feet firmly, and take one deep breath as if you’re stepping fully into your purpose. Then do one round of box breathing: Inhale for 4 counts Hold for 4 counts Exhale for 4 counts Hold for 4 counts Repeat this cycle twice. Let your body remember: You are the captain of your destiny. You are walking in purpose. You are ready for what’s next.
