How To Enjoy And Embrace Time Alone
Lisa Marie Platske • November 14, 2016
It took me a while to realize how good it is to spend time alone. But when you enjoy and embrace time alone, you are embracing who you are.
When I travel, I’m either enjoying a good meal by myself in a local restaurant or taking advantage of room service and dining alone in my room.
I used the word “enjoying” intentionally because years ago I would have struggled to utter the words “Table for one” — or been embarrassed when the front desk asked, “Will this be room service for one?”
These were the days when I wasn’t an Upside Thinker and my mind could play tricks on me.
Because I was far from the cool kid in school, being alone meant that I wasn’t good enough to be with people.
So, I filled my days with meaningless conversations and empty relationships just so that I didn’t have to be alone.
And, I hated myself for it.
What’s funny as I look back is that I didn’t give myself permission to realize just how cool I was.
I mean sure I was the kid in school who didn’t have the latest styles or most fashionable haircuts, but how cool was I to have a Mom who could kick it up on the dance floor in red hot pants during the Disco era?!? Or, knew the value of education outside the classroom, so she created field trips and outings to Broadway on school days to teach my little sister and me the benefit of art and theater?!? (Unfortunately, at the time, while other kids were longing for the cool Mom, all I wanted to do was fit in.)
How cool was I to have people in my life who loved me unconditionally?!?
How cool was I to be brave enough to embark on a career in law enforcement?!?
How cool was I to open a business without a business degree, living in a new state, with my closest connections living 3000 miles away?!?
How cool was I?!?
Pretty darn cool.
Sadly, my mind played tricks on me making me believe that spending time with other people is what made me be “good enough.”
What Happens When You Embrace Time Alone embrace time alone
If I could go back and tell the younger Lisa Marie about the truths I’ve learned in this arena of leadership, here is what I would share:
- Happiness, love, and joy are not something to hope for in the future. They are to be created and embraced in the here and now.
- Being alone doesn’t equate to being lonely. It’s possible to be with someone and feel more alone than when you’re by yourself — and to be alone and be completely at peace.
- Loneliness isn’t fixed when you surround yourself with more people. There were times when I would be sitting across from someone and feel alone. When I learned how to be unapologetically me, I became someone I wanted to be around, and others followed.
- Stop expecting perfection from imperfect people. I used to miss out on what was good because I was waiting for perfect to show up.
- Know the difference between fact and fiction. The stories that you create in your mind’s eye when someone walks by may only be a glimpse of their life. Stop writing the fairy tale story every time you see someone walk by. “He/she looks so happy. They must have an easy life. I bet he buys her flowers every week. I bet she makes him breakfast in bed. They must be the best of friends.” What people show us on the outside is not always what’s going on on the inside.
Being an Upside Thinker doesn’t me always remember this or that I’m always happy – and neither will you.
Last week, I had an emotional breakdown complete with sobbing and incoherent mutterings.
I’m thankful that my husband Jim and my dear friend Jo were there to pick up the pieces. Fortunately, those moments pass quickly (this one was about 10 minutes), but they still happen.
In my 7 Pillars of Leadership, the 2nd pillar is to know your personality.
Know your strengths.
Know what gets in the way of your great plan.
I’m always what gets in the way of my great plan.
More often than not, people tell me the same is true for them.
But, if you embrace who you are, what you want, and why it matters – the 3 foundational elements for my 1st book, Designing Your Destiny, you’ll discover that you can minimize sabotaging your plan, get more of what you want, and do it while enjoying every part of who you are.
Action Item:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to spend some time alone in a place that you would typically not go alone. Notice what comes up for you. Notice how you feel. And, then be sure to give yourself room to stretch into a new vision of what is possible for you to create throughout 2017.
People follow the person first, not their great plan. Be someone worth following.
See Upside. Be Upside. Live Upside.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 10, 2025
Every so often, I read something that inspires me to be better. After a month of giving to clients at two retreats and working privately with a client through a one-on-one VIP leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm, this story touches me in a very deep way. Sometimes folks ask me if it's possible to overgive. This story answers that question beautifully. "I asked the leaf whether it was frightened because it was autumn and the other leaves were falling. The leaf told me, "No. During the whole spring and summer, I was completely alive. I worked hard to help nourish the tree, and now much of me is in the tree. I am not limited by this form. I am also the whole tree, and when I go back to the soil, I will continue to nourish the tree. So I don’t worry at all. As I leave this branch and float to the ground, I will wave to the tree and tell her, 'I will see you again very soon'." That day, there was a wind blowing and, after a while, I saw the leaf leave the branch and float down to the soil, dancing joyfully, because as it floated it saw itself already there in the tree. It was so happy. I bowed my head, knowing that I have a lot to learn from the leaf." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh Reading that story reminded me of the leaders I encounter. The ones who give deeply, love fiercely, and show up fully, even when no one’s watching. You may not always see the impact you’re having. You may wonder if it’s too much, or if it even matters. What I know to be true is... Nothing is ever wasted. ~ Every act of service… ~ Every moment of generosity… ~ Every time you choose love over fear… ... It all lives on. Just like the leaf, your presence remains long after the moment passes. What you’ve built and what you’ve become—it stays on. So if you’ve been wondering whether it’s okay to rest, to pause, to let go… It is. Because your leadership is already rooted in what you've poured yourself into. This is the holy space between what was and what’s next. And you, leader, are right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to write one truth you know about leadership or legacy on a sticky note or card. Make it simple and true for you. Maybe it’s… “My presence changes the room.” “I was created to lead with love.” “What I build matters.” And then place it somewhere you’ll see it—your mirror, your journal, the dashboard of your car. Let it meet you in the in-between moments. And let it serve as a reminder of who you are.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 3, 2025
For years, Valentine’s Day has been my 2nd favorite holiday after Thanksgiving. Every year, I notice people talking about love and being loving, equating it to what they got from their partner. One year, I wrote a post where I joked around about asking Jim for toilets — which was true. And some folks were horrified. Valentine's Day hasn't been one of my favorite holidays for 4 decades because of the gifts I've received, although I have gotten some spectacular ones. Rather, Valentine's Day offers folks a reminder to see through the lens of love, no matter where they're at or what they're experiencing. LOVE is the vibration I want to operate on 365 days throughout the year. It’s how I want to be REMEMBERED. In a few days, Jim and I will celebrate 21 years of marriage. Yes, 21 years. That kind of time gives you a deeper understanding of what love really is. And it’s not always grand or visible. Being loving and kind isn’t hard to do. And it's not easy, either. It does require intentional choice in every circumstance and situation. Once you set your mind that’s who you want to be, you’ll see opportunities to be loving and kind all day long. Researchers have discovered that you also get what’s called the ‘helper’s high’ when you operate this way… …because acts of altruism trigger the same endorphins as a ‘runner’s high.' What does this look like? Smile. At people you’ve never met. Hold the door open for a stranger. Give BIG hugs to the people you care about most. Say “please” – and say “thank you”. You’d be surprised at how few people actually do. Surprise a friend with a phone call or a gift of appreciation … for no reason other than they were on your mind. Give back and volunteer your time at a colleague’s event, local animal shelter, or soup kitchen. (Yes, they still have those.) Pay for someone’s cup of coffee at the drive-thru or the person standing behind you in line at Starbucks. When I lived in New Jersey, I used to pay for people’s tolls before EZPass came along and took away the fun of it. Go through your closet and donate the clothing you still love, yet haven’t worn in a long time. Look for opportunities to pay someone a compliment – and then do it. You just may make their day. Text or call a loved one just to say, “I’m thinking about you…” Bring your neighbors flowers. Loving-kindness is just a way of being. You don’t need a special day or any holiday for LOVE to show up. And the best leaders get this. So if you want to be the kind of leader who leaves a legacy... Start there. Lead with love. Even when no one’s watching. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice one unseen act of loving-kindness. Choose one person in your world — a colleague, neighbor, team member, or friend — and do something kind without telling them it was you. It can be a handwritten note, a small gift, a thoughtful gesture, or an act of service. Then notice how it shifts you — because powerful leadership begins in the places no one else sees.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 27, 2025
When I was 6 years old, I understood there was something powerful for me to do on the planet. A mission that was bigger than me. Bigger than I could comprehend. And I get that sounds crazy as I was simultaneously learning how to count, and add 4 + 6 to come up with 10. What I can tell you that I'm clear about is that despite that inner knowing, I floundered over the years trying to figure out how I could really step into this Calling. How could this possibly be mine to do?!? From hiding it, burying it, and avoiding it, it seemed I kept running away from what I knew was mine to do in the world. There is a shift that happens in a person’s life when they realize it’s time to step up and become the leader they are destined to be. ~ To make an impact ~ To be a force for good on the planet ~ To step into their Calling See, God doesn't give folks little missions. They're all big and designed for exactly how you're wired. For me, it started with a grand vision as a little girl. For others, it may reveal itself over time, perhaps after decades of transformational experiences. Your mission matters—and the world needs you and your brilliance. So, regardless of whether you are on your journey, it’s time to look at leadership from this lens vs. that of job positions and titles. Now’s the moment to stop questioning whether it’s yours. It is. And the next step is yours to take. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to sit down and ask yourself: What’s one thing I keep feeling called to do yet I haven’t acted on? Name it and just write it down. Then decide how you’ll honor it in the next 48 hours. Take one clear, intentional step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 20, 2025
Divine impatience. This is what my spiritual mentor and I have been talking about quite a bit. It's when you understand that lurking around the corner is the birthing of your new idea or new chapter, and God's timing is a little different than your own. You feel you're ready and it's time, yet nothing seems to be moving. This is very different than being stuck. I've discovered that all leaders go through this season. Some will put up a heck of a fight, and try to muscle their way forward. And I can promise you that never works. Others will throw up their hands and abdicate personal responsibility, excusing their lack of initiative and giving themselves a reason to sit back and do nothing. Divine Right Timing is truly "a thing" and no amount of force will have a door open when it's not to be opened yet. Yet that doesn't mean you step out of your life and wait. Growth happens moment by moment over time, not in a flash or an instant. You have a duty to keep moving forward while recognizing that your clock and God's may be set on different planes in the time and space continuum. I've learned to see the Divine perfection in everything... ...even when I hope what I want would show up a little faster. So much of leadership is learning to move in rhythm with Divine Right Timing. It’s listening, trusting and leaning in even when you don’t see the full picture yet. You begin to discern when to act and when to wait; when to take the next faithful step and when to let the path rise up to meet you. That’s not something you master overnight. It’s something you practice, in the pauses, in the tension, in the stretch between what is and what’s to come. So if you're in that space right now, where you feel the stirring, the readiness, the knowing and yet, nothing seems to be shifting, take heart . You're not doing anything wrong. You're not being ignored by God. You're being prepared. And when the door does open, you'll walk through it with the clarity, strength, and grace you gained in the waiting. That’s the Divine right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to take inventory of what you’ve been striving to control. Where are you trying to open a door that isn’t yours to open yet? Is there a situation where you’ve confused momentum with force? Write down three things you’re being called to trust, not fix. Then choose one aligned step that keeps you in motion without pushing against Divine Timing. Sometimes the wisest move is to walk in faith while the door gets ready for you.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 10, 2025
Every so often, I read something that inspires me to be better. After a month of giving to clients at two retreats and working privately with a client through a one-on-one VIP leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm, this story touches me in a very deep way. Sometimes folks ask me if it's possible to overgive. This story answers that question beautifully. "I asked the leaf whether it was frightened because it was autumn and the other leaves were falling. The leaf told me, "No. During the whole spring and summer, I was completely alive. I worked hard to help nourish the tree, and now much of me is in the tree. I am not limited by this form. I am also the whole tree, and when I go back to the soil, I will continue to nourish the tree. So I don’t worry at all. As I leave this branch and float to the ground, I will wave to the tree and tell her, 'I will see you again very soon'." That day, there was a wind blowing and, after a while, I saw the leaf leave the branch and float down to the soil, dancing joyfully, because as it floated it saw itself already there in the tree. It was so happy. I bowed my head, knowing that I have a lot to learn from the leaf." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh Reading that story reminded me of the leaders I encounter. The ones who give deeply, love fiercely, and show up fully, even when no one’s watching. You may not always see the impact you’re having. You may wonder if it’s too much, or if it even matters. What I know to be true is... Nothing is ever wasted. ~ Every act of service… ~ Every moment of generosity… ~ Every time you choose love over fear… ... It all lives on. Just like the leaf, your presence remains long after the moment passes. What you’ve built and what you’ve become—it stays on. So if you’ve been wondering whether it’s okay to rest, to pause, to let go… It is. Because your leadership is already rooted in what you've poured yourself into. This is the holy space between what was and what’s next. And you, leader, are right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to write one truth you know about leadership or legacy on a sticky note or card. Make it simple and true for you. Maybe it’s… “My presence changes the room.” “I was created to lead with love.” “What I build matters.” And then place it somewhere you’ll see it—your mirror, your journal, the dashboard of your car. Let it meet you in the in-between moments. And let it serve as a reminder of who you are.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 3, 2025
For years, Valentine’s Day has been my 2nd favorite holiday after Thanksgiving. Every year, I notice people talking about love and being loving, equating it to what they got from their partner. One year, I wrote a post where I joked around about asking Jim for toilets — which was true. And some folks were horrified. Valentine's Day hasn't been one of my favorite holidays for 4 decades because of the gifts I've received, although I have gotten some spectacular ones. Rather, Valentine's Day offers folks a reminder to see through the lens of love, no matter where they're at or what they're experiencing. LOVE is the vibration I want to operate on 365 days throughout the year. It’s how I want to be REMEMBERED. In a few days, Jim and I will celebrate 21 years of marriage. Yes, 21 years. That kind of time gives you a deeper understanding of what love really is. And it’s not always grand or visible. Being loving and kind isn’t hard to do. And it's not easy, either. It does require intentional choice in every circumstance and situation. Once you set your mind that’s who you want to be, you’ll see opportunities to be loving and kind all day long. Researchers have discovered that you also get what’s called the ‘helper’s high’ when you operate this way… …because acts of altruism trigger the same endorphins as a ‘runner’s high.' What does this look like? Smile. At people you’ve never met. Hold the door open for a stranger. Give BIG hugs to the people you care about most. Say “please” – and say “thank you”. You’d be surprised at how few people actually do. Surprise a friend with a phone call or a gift of appreciation … for no reason other than they were on your mind. Give back and volunteer your time at a colleague’s event, local animal shelter, or soup kitchen. (Yes, they still have those.) Pay for someone’s cup of coffee at the drive-thru or the person standing behind you in line at Starbucks. When I lived in New Jersey, I used to pay for people’s tolls before EZPass came along and took away the fun of it. Go through your closet and donate the clothing you still love, yet haven’t worn in a long time. Look for opportunities to pay someone a compliment – and then do it. You just may make their day. Text or call a loved one just to say, “I’m thinking about you…” Bring your neighbors flowers. Loving-kindness is just a way of being. You don’t need a special day or any holiday for LOVE to show up. And the best leaders get this. So if you want to be the kind of leader who leaves a legacy... Start there. Lead with love. Even when no one’s watching. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice one unseen act of loving-kindness. Choose one person in your world — a colleague, neighbor, team member, or friend — and do something kind without telling them it was you. It can be a handwritten note, a small gift, a thoughtful gesture, or an act of service. Then notice how it shifts you — because powerful leadership begins in the places no one else sees.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 27, 2025
When I was 6 years old, I understood there was something powerful for me to do on the planet. A mission that was bigger than me. Bigger than I could comprehend. And I get that sounds crazy as I was simultaneously learning how to count, and add 4 + 6 to come up with 10. What I can tell you that I'm clear about is that despite that inner knowing, I floundered over the years trying to figure out how I could really step into this Calling. How could this possibly be mine to do?!? From hiding it, burying it, and avoiding it, it seemed I kept running away from what I knew was mine to do in the world. There is a shift that happens in a person’s life when they realize it’s time to step up and become the leader they are destined to be. ~ To make an impact ~ To be a force for good on the planet ~ To step into their Calling See, God doesn't give folks little missions. They're all big and designed for exactly how you're wired. For me, it started with a grand vision as a little girl. For others, it may reveal itself over time, perhaps after decades of transformational experiences. Your mission matters—and the world needs you and your brilliance. So, regardless of whether you are on your journey, it’s time to look at leadership from this lens vs. that of job positions and titles. Now’s the moment to stop questioning whether it’s yours. It is. And the next step is yours to take. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to sit down and ask yourself: What’s one thing I keep feeling called to do yet I haven’t acted on? Name it and just write it down. Then decide how you’ll honor it in the next 48 hours. Take one clear, intentional step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 20, 2025
Divine impatience. This is what my spiritual mentor and I have been talking about quite a bit. It's when you understand that lurking around the corner is the birthing of your new idea or new chapter, and God's timing is a little different than your own. You feel you're ready and it's time, yet nothing seems to be moving. This is very different than being stuck. I've discovered that all leaders go through this season. Some will put up a heck of a fight, and try to muscle their way forward. And I can promise you that never works. Others will throw up their hands and abdicate personal responsibility, excusing their lack of initiative and giving themselves a reason to sit back and do nothing. Divine Right Timing is truly "a thing" and no amount of force will have a door open when it's not to be opened yet. Yet that doesn't mean you step out of your life and wait. Growth happens moment by moment over time, not in a flash or an instant. You have a duty to keep moving forward while recognizing that your clock and God's may be set on different planes in the time and space continuum. I've learned to see the Divine perfection in everything... ...even when I hope what I want would show up a little faster. So much of leadership is learning to move in rhythm with Divine Right Timing. It’s listening, trusting and leaning in even when you don’t see the full picture yet. You begin to discern when to act and when to wait; when to take the next faithful step and when to let the path rise up to meet you. That’s not something you master overnight. It’s something you practice, in the pauses, in the tension, in the stretch between what is and what’s to come. So if you're in that space right now, where you feel the stirring, the readiness, the knowing and yet, nothing seems to be shifting, take heart . You're not doing anything wrong. You're not being ignored by God. You're being prepared. And when the door does open, you'll walk through it with the clarity, strength, and grace you gained in the waiting. That’s the Divine right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to take inventory of what you’ve been striving to control. Where are you trying to open a door that isn’t yours to open yet? Is there a situation where you’ve confused momentum with force? Write down three things you’re being called to trust, not fix. Then choose one aligned step that keeps you in motion without pushing against Divine Timing. Sometimes the wisest move is to walk in faith while the door gets ready for you.
