How To Enjoy And Embrace Time Alone
Lisa Marie Platske • November 14, 2016
It took me a while to realize how good it is to spend time alone. But when you enjoy and embrace time alone, you are embracing who you are.
When I travel, I’m either enjoying a good meal by myself in a local restaurant or taking advantage of room service and dining alone in my room.
I used the word “enjoying” intentionally because years ago I would have struggled to utter the words “Table for one” — or been embarrassed when the front desk asked, “Will this be room service for one?”
These were the days when I wasn’t an Upside Thinker and my mind could play tricks on me.
Because I was far from the cool kid in school, being alone meant that I wasn’t good enough to be with people.
So, I filled my days with meaningless conversations and empty relationships just so that I didn’t have to be alone.
And, I hated myself for it.
What’s funny as I look back is that I didn’t give myself permission to realize just how cool I was.
I mean sure I was the kid in school who didn’t have the latest styles or most fashionable haircuts, but how cool was I to have a Mom who could kick it up on the dance floor in red hot pants during the Disco era?!? Or, knew the value of education outside the classroom, so she created field trips and outings to Broadway on school days to teach my little sister and me the benefit of art and theater?!? (Unfortunately, at the time, while other kids were longing for the cool Mom, all I wanted to do was fit in.)
How cool was I to have people in my life who loved me unconditionally?!?
How cool was I to be brave enough to embark on a career in law enforcement?!?
How cool was I to open a business without a business degree, living in a new state, with my closest connections living 3000 miles away?!?
How cool was I?!?
Pretty darn cool.
Sadly, my mind played tricks on me making me believe that spending time with other people is what made me be “good enough.”
What Happens When You Embrace Time Alone embrace time alone
If I could go back and tell the younger Lisa Marie about the truths I’ve learned in this arena of leadership, here is what I would share:
- Happiness, love, and joy are not something to hope for in the future. They are to be created and embraced in the here and now.
- Being alone doesn’t equate to being lonely. It’s possible to be with someone and feel more alone than when you’re by yourself — and to be alone and be completely at peace.
- Loneliness isn’t fixed when you surround yourself with more people. There were times when I would be sitting across from someone and feel alone. When I learned how to be unapologetically me, I became someone I wanted to be around, and others followed.
- Stop expecting perfection from imperfect people. I used to miss out on what was good because I was waiting for perfect to show up.
- Know the difference between fact and fiction. The stories that you create in your mind’s eye when someone walks by may only be a glimpse of their life. Stop writing the fairy tale story every time you see someone walk by. “He/she looks so happy. They must have an easy life. I bet he buys her flowers every week. I bet she makes him breakfast in bed. They must be the best of friends.” What people show us on the outside is not always what’s going on on the inside.
Being an Upside Thinker doesn’t me always remember this or that I’m always happy – and neither will you.
Last week, I had an emotional breakdown complete with sobbing and incoherent mutterings.
I’m thankful that my husband Jim and my dear friend Jo were there to pick up the pieces. Fortunately, those moments pass quickly (this one was about 10 minutes), but they still happen.
In my 7 Pillars of Leadership, the 2nd pillar is to know your personality.
Know your strengths.
Know what gets in the way of your great plan.
I’m always what gets in the way of my great plan.
More often than not, people tell me the same is true for them.
But, if you embrace who you are, what you want, and why it matters – the 3 foundational elements for my 1st book, Designing Your Destiny, you’ll discover that you can minimize sabotaging your plan, get more of what you want, and do it while enjoying every part of who you are.
Action Item:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to spend some time alone in a place that you would typically not go alone. Notice what comes up for you. Notice how you feel. And, then be sure to give yourself room to stretch into a new vision of what is possible for you to create throughout 2017.
People follow the person first, not their great plan. Be someone worth following.
See Upside. Be Upside. Live Upside.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 15, 2025
There are forces in the world that are intangible and unseen. Yet most folks rely on their physical senses, relying solely on what they can see, touch, weigh, and measure. I've often thought about Thomas in the Bible and what must have been going through his head to say, "Until I see His hands, feel the wounds of the nails, and put my hand to His side, I won't believe what you are saying." Oh, I get being skeptical to what cannot be explained. For safety's sake, I'm someone who wants a tangible, rational explanation for things in life. When something goes up, I expect there's a down. When something goes left, I expect there's a right. When things don't add up in the way that I've been told life works, it's confronting. When I look at leadership through this lens, I can better understand why my expectations of others haven't often been met. The majority of folks don't have the ability to cope with things that don't seem to make sense. Speaking about an intangible force that ensures the world keeps on spinning is more than just the universal law of gravity. That's God. And there's no simple explanation. Try to wrap your head around how the ground beneath your feet is actually suspended in mid-air, circling around a sun. Forces of nature like tornados and thunderstorms leave all folks helpless and feeling out of control. Because they are. It's not that most folks are ignorant about forces that are unseen and intangible. It's just they choose not to acknowledge their very power - and the amount of intelligence that is accessible when acknowledged. When I opened my business over 20 years ago and got into teaching leadership, I thought there was a simplicity to the work, where if certain principles were understood you could thrive. Over time, I've discovered that's just not true. Much of what occurs on the planet and in everyday life is entangled with cosmic alignment. People create all sorts of stories so they can wrap their head around that, so it's easier to digest rather than just understanding there are some things that you cannot explain. And again, for me, that's God. When I brought God into my body of leadership work, it started to make sense in ways that are hard to describe. There are no expectations about this plus that equals something else, as with intangible, unseen forces, the equation can have exponential results that cannot be explained. There is a way leadership comes alive when you make room for what cannot be explained. The moments when reason falls short and human understanding runs out are often the moments when the most extraordinary answers arrive. I have seen doors open that no strategy could have forced. I have watched solutions appear in the exact moment they were needed. That is what happens when you lead with an awareness of the One who holds it all together. The results may not make sense on paper, yet they carry a power that shapes lives and outlasts you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one leadership challenge you are facing right now. Write down what you can see and measure. Then name what you sense is also shaping the outcome — a conversation that came at just the right time, a shift in someone’s openness, an inner knowing you can’t ignore, a divine alignment that placed the right person in your path. Let both guide your next step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 8, 2025
Over the past decade, I've had some really big wins. And because I've had success amnesia and struggle to celebrate my wins, my accomplishments never seemed good enough. Fifteen years ago, all I could see was what I was getting wrong. At that time, I stopped creating big goals (heck, any goals)—and my vision for my business grew smaller. Then I didn't have to feel as if I was a fraud. I would simply stick to what was working and not stretch myself any further. Unconsciously, I chose to live in my comfort zone and stop taking risks. To the outside world, everything looked good. ~ I had clients. ~ I had my own business. ~ And I had a comfortable life. Yet, inside, I was dying . Pieces of me were shriveling up and becoming unrecognizable. When you understand you have a Divine mission and purpose to fulfill and you're not fully using your gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences for good, it's like having your life force being taken from you. You start going through the motions without being present to the gift of life. Over time, you become numb to the possibilities, awe, and wonder that are all around you. Did you ever watch a little kid, and how they see the world through the eyes of God? Everything they notice seems to captivate them and bring them joy. Somewhere along the way, you lose that as an adult. Life becomes rote if you let it. That's what happened to me. And it's hard to lead yourself or others when you're in this place. Sometimes when you feel like you're not winning, you get the opportunity to reflect on what winning looks like. It's a compass that can lead you back home ... ... to a place where health, happiness, success, and meaning are ever-present. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one part of your leadership or life that once brought you joy yet now feels routine. Take one intentional action this week to breathe life back into it—whether that’s reimagining a goal, initiating a meaningful conversation, or revisiting a practice that once inspired you. Even a single deliberate choice can reset your compass toward the place where health, happiness, success, and meaning grow strong.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 1, 2025
When I talk to folks about living out their Divine mission and purpose being the reason why leadership is so important, some people take a step back. "Who, me? A mission? And a Divine one? I'm not sure you've got the right character." Yet, this is something I’m 100% sure of. You were handpicked to do something on this planet. ~ Handpicked to be your mom’s son or daughter. ~ Handpicked to use the gifts you’ve been given and the experiences you’ve had. For a purpose. And I get that not everyone believes that because somewhere along the way, the world teaches you to shrink or make yourself smaller than you were created to be. So you wait for permission. Or you begin doubting your voice. Maybe that happened to you. And yet, here you are, you’re still here. Which means Heaven’s not done. You see, the Divine doesn’t make mistakes, and your presence isn’t accidental. Everything about your journey... ... the setbacks, the breakthroughs, the patterns you repeat, the people you meet ... has been preparing you. And if everyone chose to live from the belief that they're here for a purpose, the world would look vastly different. A purpose-led life requires leaders to step up and do something meaningful with their gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. They understand they're born for something bigger than themselves. And that amount of courage is rare in today's world. I’m pretty sure you weren’t created just to scroll through TikTok or add another item to your cart. You were given a Divine mission. You were given a purpose that was assigned to you and only you. No one else can fulfill it. Just you. And without leadership, walking it out will be extremely hard. Leadership means taking full responsibility for your Divine assignment. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one decision you’ve delayed. Maybe it’s stepping back from a leadership role you’ve outgrown. Maybe it’s restructuring something you built because it no longer aligns. Maybe it’s finally moving forward on the vision you’ve been sitting on for far too long. Block 30 minutes this week to address it with clarity and conviction. Because the longer you wait, the heavier it becomes.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 24, 2025
I’m no stranger to awards. I’ve been recognized for the past 25 years, receiving recognition from the National Association of Female Executives, the White House, the Small Business Administration, the International Alliance for Women, the Evolutionary Business Council, Forbes, and more. I’ve gotten awards entitled Rising Star early on in my business to Woman of the Year, the Top 100 Women Making a Difference in the World, and Women in Business Champion of the Year later on. Several years ago, I received two awards that felt different. To see my name on the screen because of my peers was humbling. That was the first award. The 2nd to last award of the evening for this organization was the “Biggest Impact" award. This award wasn’t listed in the programming or marketing of the event. When my name was called, I was awestruck. I took the stage speechless and moved to tears—and not for the reasons most people might have thought. I’ve learned that you can’t outgive God. That’s something I remind the leaders I work with, whether in a retreat, mastermind, or private mentoring conversation. And whenever I give, it comes back to me 100-fold. The conversations I had at the event throughout the evening are ones that I will always remember. So if you feel you don’t fit in … stop making that an excuse to not get involved in something. Show up for others. Even when you don’t feel like it. If we haven’t met, my door is always open. Reach out at any time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to create space for a conversation you’ve been too busy to have. It maybe someone in your life has gotten your presence, just not your full attention. Show up without performance, without hurry and without distraction. Fifteen minutes. That’s all. Make the time. And let it count.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 15, 2025
There are forces in the world that are intangible and unseen. Yet most folks rely on their physical senses, relying solely on what they can see, touch, weigh, and measure. I've often thought about Thomas in the Bible and what must have been going through his head to say, "Until I see His hands, feel the wounds of the nails, and put my hand to His side, I won't believe what you are saying." Oh, I get being skeptical to what cannot be explained. For safety's sake, I'm someone who wants a tangible, rational explanation for things in life. When something goes up, I expect there's a down. When something goes left, I expect there's a right. When things don't add up in the way that I've been told life works, it's confronting. When I look at leadership through this lens, I can better understand why my expectations of others haven't often been met. The majority of folks don't have the ability to cope with things that don't seem to make sense. Speaking about an intangible force that ensures the world keeps on spinning is more than just the universal law of gravity. That's God. And there's no simple explanation. Try to wrap your head around how the ground beneath your feet is actually suspended in mid-air, circling around a sun. Forces of nature like tornados and thunderstorms leave all folks helpless and feeling out of control. Because they are. It's not that most folks are ignorant about forces that are unseen and intangible. It's just they choose not to acknowledge their very power - and the amount of intelligence that is accessible when acknowledged. When I opened my business over 20 years ago and got into teaching leadership, I thought there was a simplicity to the work, where if certain principles were understood you could thrive. Over time, I've discovered that's just not true. Much of what occurs on the planet and in everyday life is entangled with cosmic alignment. People create all sorts of stories so they can wrap their head around that, so it's easier to digest rather than just understanding there are some things that you cannot explain. And again, for me, that's God. When I brought God into my body of leadership work, it started to make sense in ways that are hard to describe. There are no expectations about this plus that equals something else, as with intangible, unseen forces, the equation can have exponential results that cannot be explained. There is a way leadership comes alive when you make room for what cannot be explained. The moments when reason falls short and human understanding runs out are often the moments when the most extraordinary answers arrive. I have seen doors open that no strategy could have forced. I have watched solutions appear in the exact moment they were needed. That is what happens when you lead with an awareness of the One who holds it all together. The results may not make sense on paper, yet they carry a power that shapes lives and outlasts you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one leadership challenge you are facing right now. Write down what you can see and measure. Then name what you sense is also shaping the outcome — a conversation that came at just the right time, a shift in someone’s openness, an inner knowing you can’t ignore, a divine alignment that placed the right person in your path. Let both guide your next step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 8, 2025
Over the past decade, I've had some really big wins. And because I've had success amnesia and struggle to celebrate my wins, my accomplishments never seemed good enough. Fifteen years ago, all I could see was what I was getting wrong. At that time, I stopped creating big goals (heck, any goals)—and my vision for my business grew smaller. Then I didn't have to feel as if I was a fraud. I would simply stick to what was working and not stretch myself any further. Unconsciously, I chose to live in my comfort zone and stop taking risks. To the outside world, everything looked good. ~ I had clients. ~ I had my own business. ~ And I had a comfortable life. Yet, inside, I was dying . Pieces of me were shriveling up and becoming unrecognizable. When you understand you have a Divine mission and purpose to fulfill and you're not fully using your gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences for good, it's like having your life force being taken from you. You start going through the motions without being present to the gift of life. Over time, you become numb to the possibilities, awe, and wonder that are all around you. Did you ever watch a little kid, and how they see the world through the eyes of God? Everything they notice seems to captivate them and bring them joy. Somewhere along the way, you lose that as an adult. Life becomes rote if you let it. That's what happened to me. And it's hard to lead yourself or others when you're in this place. Sometimes when you feel like you're not winning, you get the opportunity to reflect on what winning looks like. It's a compass that can lead you back home ... ... to a place where health, happiness, success, and meaning are ever-present. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one part of your leadership or life that once brought you joy yet now feels routine. Take one intentional action this week to breathe life back into it—whether that’s reimagining a goal, initiating a meaningful conversation, or revisiting a practice that once inspired you. Even a single deliberate choice can reset your compass toward the place where health, happiness, success, and meaning grow strong.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 1, 2025
When I talk to folks about living out their Divine mission and purpose being the reason why leadership is so important, some people take a step back. "Who, me? A mission? And a Divine one? I'm not sure you've got the right character." Yet, this is something I’m 100% sure of. You were handpicked to do something on this planet. ~ Handpicked to be your mom’s son or daughter. ~ Handpicked to use the gifts you’ve been given and the experiences you’ve had. For a purpose. And I get that not everyone believes that because somewhere along the way, the world teaches you to shrink or make yourself smaller than you were created to be. So you wait for permission. Or you begin doubting your voice. Maybe that happened to you. And yet, here you are, you’re still here. Which means Heaven’s not done. You see, the Divine doesn’t make mistakes, and your presence isn’t accidental. Everything about your journey... ... the setbacks, the breakthroughs, the patterns you repeat, the people you meet ... has been preparing you. And if everyone chose to live from the belief that they're here for a purpose, the world would look vastly different. A purpose-led life requires leaders to step up and do something meaningful with their gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. They understand they're born for something bigger than themselves. And that amount of courage is rare in today's world. I’m pretty sure you weren’t created just to scroll through TikTok or add another item to your cart. You were given a Divine mission. You were given a purpose that was assigned to you and only you. No one else can fulfill it. Just you. And without leadership, walking it out will be extremely hard. Leadership means taking full responsibility for your Divine assignment. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one decision you’ve delayed. Maybe it’s stepping back from a leadership role you’ve outgrown. Maybe it’s restructuring something you built because it no longer aligns. Maybe it’s finally moving forward on the vision you’ve been sitting on for far too long. Block 30 minutes this week to address it with clarity and conviction. Because the longer you wait, the heavier it becomes.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 24, 2025
I’m no stranger to awards. I’ve been recognized for the past 25 years, receiving recognition from the National Association of Female Executives, the White House, the Small Business Administration, the International Alliance for Women, the Evolutionary Business Council, Forbes, and more. I’ve gotten awards entitled Rising Star early on in my business to Woman of the Year, the Top 100 Women Making a Difference in the World, and Women in Business Champion of the Year later on. Several years ago, I received two awards that felt different. To see my name on the screen because of my peers was humbling. That was the first award. The 2nd to last award of the evening for this organization was the “Biggest Impact" award. This award wasn’t listed in the programming or marketing of the event. When my name was called, I was awestruck. I took the stage speechless and moved to tears—and not for the reasons most people might have thought. I’ve learned that you can’t outgive God. That’s something I remind the leaders I work with, whether in a retreat, mastermind, or private mentoring conversation. And whenever I give, it comes back to me 100-fold. The conversations I had at the event throughout the evening are ones that I will always remember. So if you feel you don’t fit in … stop making that an excuse to not get involved in something. Show up for others. Even when you don’t feel like it. If we haven’t met, my door is always open. Reach out at any time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to create space for a conversation you’ve been too busy to have. It maybe someone in your life has gotten your presence, just not your full attention. Show up without performance, without hurry and without distraction. Fifteen minutes. That’s all. Make the time. And let it count.
