How To Enjoy And Embrace Time Alone
Lisa Marie Platske • November 14, 2016
It took me a while to realize how good it is to spend time alone. But when you enjoy and embrace time alone, you are embracing who you are.
When I travel, I’m either enjoying a good meal by myself in a local restaurant or taking advantage of room service and dining alone in my room.
I used the word “enjoying” intentionally because years ago I would have struggled to utter the words “Table for one” — or been embarrassed when the front desk asked, “Will this be room service for one?”
These were the days when I wasn’t an Upside Thinker and my mind could play tricks on me.
Because I was far from the cool kid in school, being alone meant that I wasn’t good enough to be with people.
So, I filled my days with meaningless conversations and empty relationships just so that I didn’t have to be alone.
And, I hated myself for it.
What’s funny as I look back is that I didn’t give myself permission to realize just how cool I was.
I mean sure I was the kid in school who didn’t have the latest styles or most fashionable haircuts, but how cool was I to have a Mom who could kick it up on the dance floor in red hot pants during the Disco era?!? Or, knew the value of education outside the classroom, so she created field trips and outings to Broadway on school days to teach my little sister and me the benefit of art and theater?!? (Unfortunately, at the time, while other kids were longing for the cool Mom, all I wanted to do was fit in.)
How cool was I to have people in my life who loved me unconditionally?!?
How cool was I to be brave enough to embark on a career in law enforcement?!?
How cool was I to open a business without a business degree, living in a new state, with my closest connections living 3000 miles away?!?
How cool was I?!?
Pretty darn cool.
Sadly, my mind played tricks on me making me believe that spending time with other people is what made me be “good enough.”
What Happens When You Embrace Time Alone embrace time alone
If I could go back and tell the younger Lisa Marie about the truths I’ve learned in this arena of leadership, here is what I would share:
- Happiness, love, and joy are not something to hope for in the future. They are to be created and embraced in the here and now.
- Being alone doesn’t equate to being lonely. It’s possible to be with someone and feel more alone than when you’re by yourself — and to be alone and be completely at peace.
- Loneliness isn’t fixed when you surround yourself with more people. There were times when I would be sitting across from someone and feel alone. When I learned how to be unapologetically me, I became someone I wanted to be around, and others followed.
- Stop expecting perfection from imperfect people. I used to miss out on what was good because I was waiting for perfect to show up.
- Know the difference between fact and fiction. The stories that you create in your mind’s eye when someone walks by may only be a glimpse of their life. Stop writing the fairy tale story every time you see someone walk by. “He/she looks so happy. They must have an easy life. I bet he buys her flowers every week. I bet she makes him breakfast in bed. They must be the best of friends.” What people show us on the outside is not always what’s going on on the inside.
Being an Upside Thinker doesn’t me always remember this or that I’m always happy – and neither will you.
Last week, I had an emotional breakdown complete with sobbing and incoherent mutterings.
I’m thankful that my husband Jim and my dear friend Jo were there to pick up the pieces. Fortunately, those moments pass quickly (this one was about 10 minutes), but they still happen.
In my 7 Pillars of Leadership, the 2nd pillar is to know your personality.
Know your strengths.
Know what gets in the way of your great plan.
I’m always what gets in the way of my great plan.
More often than not, people tell me the same is true for them.
But, if you embrace who you are, what you want, and why it matters – the 3 foundational elements for my 1st book, Designing Your Destiny, you’ll discover that you can minimize sabotaging your plan, get more of what you want, and do it while enjoying every part of who you are.
Action Item:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to spend some time alone in a place that you would typically not go alone. Notice what comes up for you. Notice how you feel. And, then be sure to give yourself room to stretch into a new vision of what is possible for you to create throughout 2017.
People follow the person first, not their great plan. Be someone worth following.
See Upside. Be Upside. Live Upside.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 2, 2026
You have been hard-wired for greatness so stop trying so hard to be something other than who you are. I see it all the time. Folks who tie themselves into knots, seeking the approval of others. Oh, it's not conscious. Most leaders would tell you that they're comfortable being their own boss, in charge of their time. Behind closed doors, many of them have told me something different. And that's because conflict, being misunderstood, and being vilified are pretty crummy. Most folks want to be liked. They want to be valued and appreciated for the effort they've put in. Your greatest gift to the planet is to be fully, completely, and unapologetically who you are. Doing that may come with some pretty harsh consequences ... which is why most leaders are willing to sell out. The thing that isn't always self-evident about compromising your values and beliefs is that every night you're stuck with you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror. You are the only one who understands the choices you've made—right, wrong, or indifferent. When the day is done, the truth always meets you in the quiet. It asks whether you stood in integrity or traded pieces of yourself to keep the peace. Leadership requires decisions that don’t win applause. It often asks you to hold your ground when others want you to bend. Living aligned with who you are may cost you approval or relationships. Yet, it will never cost you your soul. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to name a decision you’ve been avoiding because it feels risky or uncomfortable. It could be ending a partnership that no longer serves your vision, raising the standards for a client, or closing a door that keeps you from your calling. Take one bold, aligned action this week that honors your integrity and the leader you were created to be.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 26, 2026
"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." ~ Helen Keller Purpose. The dictionary definition is, " the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. " You were put on the planet for a reason ... a purpose. And, part of the joy of the journey is to be in the discovery and fulfillment of that divine purpose . Perhaps that's why Helen Keller said what she said. Too often, folks get sidetracked by fame and fortune, or comfort and easy. While they each have their allure, they will never bring you happiness. True happiness comes from meaning. Over the decades, there have been countless subjects and research projects on the topic of happiness. The results of all of them have pointed back to this truth. When I think about the leaders that I've had the privilege of working with, the ones that were the happiest weren't the ones that had situations that were easy. Actually, life came down pretty hard on some of them and they were in peril. While they came to me seeking answers about how to right the ship, the journey rarely involved signing a multi-million dollar deal that got them to happiness island. It was the ability to peel away each layer of their circumstances and see it through the lens of their divine mission and purpose. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice where your influence thrive. At times, we can lose sight of what truly matters. So today, observe the work, conversations, and moments where you naturally make a difference. Do more of those things, even in small ways. Your purpose is revealed in the places where your leadership produces impact and meaning.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 19, 2026
Choice. Direction. Commitment. Consistent Action. Rinse and repeat. If you do this, a lot can change in a year. There was a season where most folks in my industry started cutting back—and I did the opposite. I doubled down on the number of hours I was investing in my business. I created new programming for my live events, and I hired 4 new people. At the time, I also chose to invest in myself and upped my personal commitment to excellence in every area of my life, getting up early and doing the work physically, mentally, intellectually, spiritually, financially, relationally, and creatively. My business expanded, my relationships grew stronger, and at the time, I released 18 pounds. See, most people are more committed to fixing what isn’t working that they can’t see what is working. They stop being grateful for what's right in front of them . They stop being able to see the miracles that are happening in front of their eyes. I recently had a private leadership retreat day with a guy who said, "If miracles were happening in my life, I'd certainly see them." He said it with conviction, bravado, and a tiny bit of arrogance. I called him on it and pointed out three things that were miracles in the making that had just happened in his life. When you focus solely on the problem, you always lose. Over the past year, when people were wondering what they were going to do over the weekend, I was thinking about this moment. Right here and right now. Today, I’m mapping out what’s going to happen over the next 12 – 24 months in my business—all while staying rooted in the here and now. Commit to excellence and your life will change. You will turn possibilities into realities. I’m a living proof. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to look at where you’ve been relying on experience instead of intention. Leaders sometimes can easily coast on what’s worked before, forgetting that excellence requires evolution. Identify one area where you’ve been leading on autopilot. It could be a system, relationship, or habit that could be sharper, more aligned, or more alive. Then refine it. Because you’re committed to mastery.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 12, 2026
No matter how happy someone may seem, they have moments when they question if they can go on. And no matter how strong someone may appear, they have days when they feel like they're falling apart. That's one of the most confusing aspects of leadership. See, most leaders feel that because they're the one at the helm steering the ship, they should have it together and be "on" 24x7. And that's unrealistic. Yet that belief has caused many leaders to sink their ship because of the inability to reach out and ask for help. No one can go it alone. Every leader needs someone to lean on. Phrases like "Only the strong survive." and "You gotta just 'man' up." do more damage than good. I learned this when I was working in Federal law enforcement and 9/11 hit. The superhuman requests to work hours that pushed the body to the limits were a recipe for certain disaster. Men and women who may have needed someone to talk to themselves to process their grief were thrust into the grim reality that they were needed more than ever—and needed to be stronger than they knew how to do. One of the NYPD beat cops that I had befriended was in the middle of a shift when he had a full-blown meltdown on 5th Avenue in New York City six months after 9/11. The walk of leadership never has been—and never will be—a solo affair. You need other folks around you that you can trust and rely on in good times and not-so-good times. And I'm not talking about a friend, spouse, or family member. I'm talking about a trusted advisor with whom you can turn matter what is working or on fire. Because every leader deserves a space to be real, to be guided, and to be reminded of the truth of who they are . The kind of space I’ve devoted my life to creating for those called to lead from purpose. And when leaders have that kind of support, the moments that once felt too heavy begin to make sense. They find the strength to keep going because they’re no longer doing it on their own. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to think and name one person who you can turn to when leadership feels heavy. Reach out to one of them this week. Tell the truth about where you are. Because even leaders need a place to lean.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
February 2, 2026
You have been hard-wired for greatness so stop trying so hard to be something other than who you are. I see it all the time. Folks who tie themselves into knots, seeking the approval of others. Oh, it's not conscious. Most leaders would tell you that they're comfortable being their own boss, in charge of their time. Behind closed doors, many of them have told me something different. And that's because conflict, being misunderstood, and being vilified are pretty crummy. Most folks want to be liked. They want to be valued and appreciated for the effort they've put in. Your greatest gift to the planet is to be fully, completely, and unapologetically who you are. Doing that may come with some pretty harsh consequences ... which is why most leaders are willing to sell out. The thing that isn't always self-evident about compromising your values and beliefs is that every night you're stuck with you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror. You are the only one who understands the choices you've made—right, wrong, or indifferent. When the day is done, the truth always meets you in the quiet. It asks whether you stood in integrity or traded pieces of yourself to keep the peace. Leadership requires decisions that don’t win applause. It often asks you to hold your ground when others want you to bend. Living aligned with who you are may cost you approval or relationships. Yet, it will never cost you your soul. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to name a decision you’ve been avoiding because it feels risky or uncomfortable. It could be ending a partnership that no longer serves your vision, raising the standards for a client, or closing a door that keeps you from your calling. Take one bold, aligned action this week that honors your integrity and the leader you were created to be.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 26, 2026
"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." ~ Helen Keller Purpose. The dictionary definition is, " the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. " You were put on the planet for a reason ... a purpose. And, part of the joy of the journey is to be in the discovery and fulfillment of that divine purpose . Perhaps that's why Helen Keller said what she said. Too often, folks get sidetracked by fame and fortune, or comfort and easy. While they each have their allure, they will never bring you happiness. True happiness comes from meaning. Over the decades, there have been countless subjects and research projects on the topic of happiness. The results of all of them have pointed back to this truth. When I think about the leaders that I've had the privilege of working with, the ones that were the happiest weren't the ones that had situations that were easy. Actually, life came down pretty hard on some of them and they were in peril. While they came to me seeking answers about how to right the ship, the journey rarely involved signing a multi-million dollar deal that got them to happiness island. It was the ability to peel away each layer of their circumstances and see it through the lens of their divine mission and purpose. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice where your influence thrive. At times, we can lose sight of what truly matters. So today, observe the work, conversations, and moments where you naturally make a difference. Do more of those things, even in small ways. Your purpose is revealed in the places where your leadership produces impact and meaning.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 19, 2026
Choice. Direction. Commitment. Consistent Action. Rinse and repeat. If you do this, a lot can change in a year. There was a season where most folks in my industry started cutting back—and I did the opposite. I doubled down on the number of hours I was investing in my business. I created new programming for my live events, and I hired 4 new people. At the time, I also chose to invest in myself and upped my personal commitment to excellence in every area of my life, getting up early and doing the work physically, mentally, intellectually, spiritually, financially, relationally, and creatively. My business expanded, my relationships grew stronger, and at the time, I released 18 pounds. See, most people are more committed to fixing what isn’t working that they can’t see what is working. They stop being grateful for what's right in front of them . They stop being able to see the miracles that are happening in front of their eyes. I recently had a private leadership retreat day with a guy who said, "If miracles were happening in my life, I'd certainly see them." He said it with conviction, bravado, and a tiny bit of arrogance. I called him on it and pointed out three things that were miracles in the making that had just happened in his life. When you focus solely on the problem, you always lose. Over the past year, when people were wondering what they were going to do over the weekend, I was thinking about this moment. Right here and right now. Today, I’m mapping out what’s going to happen over the next 12 – 24 months in my business—all while staying rooted in the here and now. Commit to excellence and your life will change. You will turn possibilities into realities. I’m a living proof. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to look at where you’ve been relying on experience instead of intention. Leaders sometimes can easily coast on what’s worked before, forgetting that excellence requires evolution. Identify one area where you’ve been leading on autopilot. It could be a system, relationship, or habit that could be sharper, more aligned, or more alive. Then refine it. Because you’re committed to mastery.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
January 12, 2026
No matter how happy someone may seem, they have moments when they question if they can go on. And no matter how strong someone may appear, they have days when they feel like they're falling apart. That's one of the most confusing aspects of leadership. See, most leaders feel that because they're the one at the helm steering the ship, they should have it together and be "on" 24x7. And that's unrealistic. Yet that belief has caused many leaders to sink their ship because of the inability to reach out and ask for help. No one can go it alone. Every leader needs someone to lean on. Phrases like "Only the strong survive." and "You gotta just 'man' up." do more damage than good. I learned this when I was working in Federal law enforcement and 9/11 hit. The superhuman requests to work hours that pushed the body to the limits were a recipe for certain disaster. Men and women who may have needed someone to talk to themselves to process their grief were thrust into the grim reality that they were needed more than ever—and needed to be stronger than they knew how to do. One of the NYPD beat cops that I had befriended was in the middle of a shift when he had a full-blown meltdown on 5th Avenue in New York City six months after 9/11. The walk of leadership never has been—and never will be—a solo affair. You need other folks around you that you can trust and rely on in good times and not-so-good times. And I'm not talking about a friend, spouse, or family member. I'm talking about a trusted advisor with whom you can turn matter what is working or on fire. Because every leader deserves a space to be real, to be guided, and to be reminded of the truth of who they are . The kind of space I’ve devoted my life to creating for those called to lead from purpose. And when leaders have that kind of support, the moments that once felt too heavy begin to make sense. They find the strength to keep going because they’re no longer doing it on their own. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to think and name one person who you can turn to when leadership feels heavy. Reach out to one of them this week. Tell the truth about where you are. Because even leaders need a place to lean.
