To speak powerfully, you need to know the power in words, the ones that increase your influence and the ones that undermine it.
Words have the power to conjure up pictures in our mind.
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And, sometimes those words have past meanings associated with them.
I was blessed with being surrounded by a large family growing up.
While we were a bit noisy when we were all together, as I reflect back, I recognize that it was our own language of love.
Words and language give us the ability to communicate with strength and confidence or wishy-washiness (yep, it’s a word) and uncertainty.
My grandfather used words in ways that still make me smile – and have affected how I see myself.
When I showed up at his house before prom, my grandfather said that I looked “solid”.
Not exactly the word that most teenage girls want to hear on their big night out.
But, my grandfather meant that in the best way possible as he saw a strength within me that said that I meant business – I was capable of taking care of myself.
At the time, I was mortified.
Solid.
Really?
Why not beautiful? Sexy? Dare, I say “hot”? (That would be kind of creepy coming from my grandfather…)
Now, I assure you that the words I wanted to hear were not words that even I could find to say to myself as my awkward stage lasted for decades and my self-esteem would vacillate from high to none.
But, yes, inside, there were parts of me that were solid.
And, that is what my grandfather saw.
In my work at Upside Thinking, I speak a lot about the power of positioning.
It’s weaved throughout the 5th Pillar of Leadership, Building a Meaningful and Memorable Presence and it begins with language and the words you choose to use. (We talk about this on day #3 of Design Your Destiny Live™.)
You have to recognize that every word you choose has a meaning.
You have to understand the biology behind positioning, leadership, and presence.
Unfortunately, most people speak on autopilot.
If you look at the research on positioning, you’ll discover that it’s more than how people hear you, it’s how they connect the dots.
The Power In Words
Research shows that people make a decision about how talented, educated, financially secure, etc. you are in 8 seconds or less.
Using words that increase your ability to position yourself so that you are fully seen, heard, recognized, and rewarded happens in a matter of seconds.
If you’re serious about increasing your influence and showing up as a leader that gets noticed, be sure to get rid of these four (4) phrases:
Beautiful. Strong. However, when you use this phrase to describe what you do, the brain falls asleep. Fast asleep. And, the person who looks like they’re listening is giving you the polite head nod. So, use this phrase loud and proud when you’re in front of the mirror, but not when you’re speaking to others.
Action Item:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to pay attention to your language. Are you aware of the words you are using and the effect they have on increasing or decreasing your influence? Your ability to be seen as a leader? Your ability to design your destiny?