Three Types of Silence — and How to Be Fully Present and In The Moment
Lisa Marie Platske • February 26, 2016
At my annual Design Your Destiny LIVE event, I teach my 7 Pillars of Leadership curriculum for 3 days.
Throughout the event, I speak about the importance of being someone who shows up for others and one of the pillars is how to build powerful partnerships.
Because I believe those who are given much have a responsibility to share their time, talent, and treasure, I have also awarded over $20,000 in scholarships over the past 8 years to both women and men in business who were either starting out or struggling.
Five years ago, I created a Super Givers community and gave attendees an opportunity to make a financial contribution in exchange for a gift certificate that could be used for my services, several copies of my book Turn Possibilities into Realities, and a bonus Q & A call with me – and 100% of the monies are donated to an international charity to support women in developing nations and a non-profit that gives low-income, minority young adults leadership training so they can effect change in the world.
Last Wednesday, I hosted my annual Super Givers call where I give participants an opportunity to ask their burning questions about the content.
There were questions asked about vision, priorities, organizing your day, email, time management, commitment, vulnerability, positioning, connection, brain science, and much more.
It was awe-inspiring to feel the strength of each of the women on the call — and their desire to make a big impact in the world by using their gifts.
Because this is my gift to the Super Givers community, I stay on the call as long as it takes to answer everyone’s questions, holding space for each person to ask what they need.
I hold the same space when I’m on group coaching calls with my clients – and the individuals who volunteer at Design Your Destiny LIVE each year hold space for me.
The definition of “to hold” as a verb is to “….carry, or support with one’s arms….”
Think about that. To carry or support with one’s arms.hand-846092_640
“Holding space” involves me emptying myself from any thoughts that limit me from being fully present. It’s as if I’m stretching out my arms in a virtual area to support another’s greatness.
Often times when I’m “holding space” there is silence for prolonged periods of time.
Silence can make people uncomfortable, however, it can also be a powerful tool.
There are three (3) types of silence:
1. Unnerved Silence: This is when you feel awkward with another person so you feel you need to say something.
2. Distracted Silence: This is when your brain is trying to think of things to say because you feel uneasy being alone with your own thoughts so you try to fill up the space with words.
3. Inspired Silence: This is when you feel comfortable around someone that there is no need for you to speak. You are accepted and can just be.
You have probably been uncomfortable with silence at some point in your life – and experienced one or all three types of silence.
I know I have.
There have been times where nonsense came out of my mouth just to fill up space in a conversation – and when I was uneasy with my own thoughts that I just needed to make noise.
But, when I have been fully present and accepting with myself and others, inspired silence creates a peace that is awe-inspiring when you witness it.
By giving participants the space they need, there is no fear or shame for being too quick or too slow to ask a question or answer.
As I say at Design Your Destiny Live, it’s like entering a “no-judgment zone”.
You are given permission to be perfect just the way you are.
And, who doesn’t want to be loved, valued, and appreciated for exactly who they are?!?
ACTION ITEM: The Upside Challenge of the week is to notice the times when you are most comfortable or uncomfortable with silence and why.
People follow the person first, then their great plan.
Be someone worth following.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 23, 2026
In a world that is designed for you to have a plan and map out your every move, living moment-by-moment can be challenging. You will likely be met with judgment by the folks around you, feeling you move too slow or are a bit directionless. Yet the only way to experience peace is in this moment. It doesn't happen when you focus on your past. And it doesn't live in your future, either. Years ago, I had someone who was well-known in the world of transformational leadership reach out to me, asking if she could hire me. When I asked her what she wanted to work on, she shared that she wanted me to teach her how to be present. Huh? I didn't understand what she was asking or why it was an issue. And at the time, I couldn't figure out how to put together a package or offering on something that felt so natural to me. Over the years, I've discovered that presence is elusive for most folks. They don't understand its power or grasp how to attain it, and live in the here and now. Perhaps that's the reason Eckhart Tolle's book The Power of Now has sold millions of copies. When presence eludes you, you run back and forth chasing moments you once lived in the past—or spending time wishing for tomorrow to get here. The blessing of living in this moment means you get to see all of the gifts that are in your life right now. ~ The people you love ~ The places you enjoy ~ The experiences you cultivate When you run around comparing what was or what you think will be to this moment, you miss out on the gift of life that God has given you. And when you lead from this place, it's hard for others to want to follow you. Leadership requires a commitment to the here and now. And the best leaders are present to the wonder of life, living One Moment At A Time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice leading from presence rather than a plan. When something interrupts your schedule or pulls you off your agenda, pause and stay in the moment instead of rushing ahead or reacting. Give your full attention to what is right in front of you and allow peace to guide your response. Trust that honoring the present moment is an act of faith, clarity, and leadership, and that what truly matters will unfold one moment at a time.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 16, 2026
What would happen if your vision, your wildest desire, became fulfilled? Then what? What if you were as successful, as impactful as your soul is nudging you to be? What if? Most folks never give themselves permission to answer those questions. The idea that life follows a rote rhythm and then one day your time has come to cross the rainbow bridge sounds awful to me. Yet I've met far too many folks who live their life this way, expecting very little—and giving very little in return. Long ago, I noticed this conscious and unconscious sleepwalking where the hottest thing on the market was what would keep you comfortable and out of pain. That trend, while appealing, seeks to remove all suffering from the human experience. If you really want your vision to come to life, you're gonna experience some heartache. That's reality. Suffering stretches you to become better ... to defy the odds, pushing on your growth edges and inviting you to rise up. What if you never sold out on yourself again? What if you asked for the best seat in the house and were offered even better? I believe you can, you will—and you must. For without vision, people perish. I believe in you. Start asking for the best and keep asking until you get it. That's the Upside Way. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to set aside ten intentional minutes this week and ask yourself this question and write the answer without negotiating it down. What vision did I quietly place on the shelf because it asked more of me? Let it be bold. It may feel premature or it may feel like it asks you to be seen before you feel ready. Honor it anyway. Then take one visible step that tests the vision in the real world. Share the idea. Voice the invitation. Signal your willingness to lead. And remember, you are committing to obedience.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 10, 2026
What may look like ordinary sameness to other people is often an exhilarating journey to me… …when I choose to see it that way. I celebrate: My wins. My losses. My everyday actions. Moment by moment, I’m grateful for the journey. Because that’s what success looks like. Despite what the world wants you to believe, success isn't perfection or acts of grandeur. Success doesn't always come with a parade or accolades that get you on the cover of the magazine. Success is the manifestation of your design. You get to decide every day if you're the kind of leader that would be worth following—in your family, your workplace, and your circle of friends. The key is to be honest about your thoughts, actions, and behaviors and what they are producing. In many ways, you're told to turn a blind eye to shortcomings and bury them or numb them. For example, excessive drinking can be excused when someone is under stress as it's deemed socially acceptable. And what would be considered excessive in one area seems to be celebrated in another arena. These moral conflicts impede the path to real success ... the kind where you look in the mirror and you're proud of every decision you've made. Leadership can be complicated as leaders are often sought out for answers and their acumen in a particular area. Yet that doesn't mean they're any more perfect than you are. And when you haven't defined success for yourself, you will always come up short. Success begins the moment you stop letting the world tell you who you should be. Leadership starts within. It shows up in the choices you make when no one is applauding. You were designed with intention. When your decisions honor that design, clarity replaces confusion and integrity becomes your compass. This is what real leadership looks like... quiet strength, and a life that reflects who you were created to be. That choice is available to you every single day. And today is a powerful place to begin. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice one ordinary action you take that reflects who you want to be as a leader. It could be how you respond to someone, how you follow through on a small task, or how you speak to yourself. Acknowledge it. Honor it. Let it be proof that your design is showing up in real time. Remember, success is in these conscious, everyday choices.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 2, 2026
Sometimes you have an idea of how you believe something should be. Your idea, however, is much grander than reality. Because you don't want to give up on the grandness of that vision, you start to twist yourself into a pretzel—and do things that aren't really you to see if you can make what you want come to life. People do this with relationships, their career or business path, and their God-given mission. Looking at something and accepting it for what it is takes massive amounts of courage. In a world that will give you a free pass if you make excuses for your behavior rather than encouraging you to look in the mirror, I see this path more times than I'd ever thought I would. Someone recently asked me why most folks find accountability inherently difficult. He was looking for someone to hold him accountable, and realized that no one in his friend circle had the strength or capacity to do it. After a long pause, I shared with him that if someone were to hold you accountable for your behavior, they'd have to look at and acknowledge their own shortcoming and missteps. It's just easier to ignore what you're doing, so they don't have to look at what they're doing. Long ago, I made a pact with myself that I wanted people in my life who were committed to honest, transparent dialogue. Over the past several decades, this has served me well—even when it hasn't been comfortable. I'm not looking for a free pass. Leadership is challenging, sometimes messy, and always uncomfortable. Most folks just aren't interested in signing up for something that doesn't have them feel good 24x7. When I got clear on the 7 Pillars of God-Centered Leadership, it was like something shifted in me. I got that when I walked this path and took this journey, I didn't need to twist myself into a pretzel or spend time worrying about what other people thought about me. As long as my heart is right with God, leadership is about His way, not mine. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to write down the qualities that would earn someone the right to speak into your life. Focus on who they are and not what they do. Choose qualities anchored in truth, integrity, humility, and alignment with your Divine mission. Then pause and look at your list honestly. Let your life rise to meet what you say you value.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 23, 2026
In a world that is designed for you to have a plan and map out your every move, living moment-by-moment can be challenging. You will likely be met with judgment by the folks around you, feeling you move too slow or are a bit directionless. Yet the only way to experience peace is in this moment. It doesn't happen when you focus on your past. And it doesn't live in your future, either. Years ago, I had someone who was well-known in the world of transformational leadership reach out to me, asking if she could hire me. When I asked her what she wanted to work on, she shared that she wanted me to teach her how to be present. Huh? I didn't understand what she was asking or why it was an issue. And at the time, I couldn't figure out how to put together a package or offering on something that felt so natural to me. Over the years, I've discovered that presence is elusive for most folks. They don't understand its power or grasp how to attain it, and live in the here and now. Perhaps that's the reason Eckhart Tolle's book The Power of Now has sold millions of copies. When presence eludes you, you run back and forth chasing moments you once lived in the past—or spending time wishing for tomorrow to get here. The blessing of living in this moment means you get to see all of the gifts that are in your life right now. ~ The people you love ~ The places you enjoy ~ The experiences you cultivate When you run around comparing what was or what you think will be to this moment, you miss out on the gift of life that God has given you. And when you lead from this place, it's hard for others to want to follow you. Leadership requires a commitment to the here and now. And the best leaders are present to the wonder of life, living One Moment At A Time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice leading from presence rather than a plan. When something interrupts your schedule or pulls you off your agenda, pause and stay in the moment instead of rushing ahead or reacting. Give your full attention to what is right in front of you and allow peace to guide your response. Trust that honoring the present moment is an act of faith, clarity, and leadership, and that what truly matters will unfold one moment at a time.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 16, 2026
What would happen if your vision, your wildest desire, became fulfilled? Then what? What if you were as successful, as impactful as your soul is nudging you to be? What if? Most folks never give themselves permission to answer those questions. The idea that life follows a rote rhythm and then one day your time has come to cross the rainbow bridge sounds awful to me. Yet I've met far too many folks who live their life this way, expecting very little—and giving very little in return. Long ago, I noticed this conscious and unconscious sleepwalking where the hottest thing on the market was what would keep you comfortable and out of pain. That trend, while appealing, seeks to remove all suffering from the human experience. If you really want your vision to come to life, you're gonna experience some heartache. That's reality. Suffering stretches you to become better ... to defy the odds, pushing on your growth edges and inviting you to rise up. What if you never sold out on yourself again? What if you asked for the best seat in the house and were offered even better? I believe you can, you will—and you must. For without vision, people perish. I believe in you. Start asking for the best and keep asking until you get it. That's the Upside Way. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to set aside ten intentional minutes this week and ask yourself this question and write the answer without negotiating it down. What vision did I quietly place on the shelf because it asked more of me? Let it be bold. It may feel premature or it may feel like it asks you to be seen before you feel ready. Honor it anyway. Then take one visible step that tests the vision in the real world. Share the idea. Voice the invitation. Signal your willingness to lead. And remember, you are committing to obedience.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 10, 2026
What may look like ordinary sameness to other people is often an exhilarating journey to me… …when I choose to see it that way. I celebrate: My wins. My losses. My everyday actions. Moment by moment, I’m grateful for the journey. Because that’s what success looks like. Despite what the world wants you to believe, success isn't perfection or acts of grandeur. Success doesn't always come with a parade or accolades that get you on the cover of the magazine. Success is the manifestation of your design. You get to decide every day if you're the kind of leader that would be worth following—in your family, your workplace, and your circle of friends. The key is to be honest about your thoughts, actions, and behaviors and what they are producing. In many ways, you're told to turn a blind eye to shortcomings and bury them or numb them. For example, excessive drinking can be excused when someone is under stress as it's deemed socially acceptable. And what would be considered excessive in one area seems to be celebrated in another arena. These moral conflicts impede the path to real success ... the kind where you look in the mirror and you're proud of every decision you've made. Leadership can be complicated as leaders are often sought out for answers and their acumen in a particular area. Yet that doesn't mean they're any more perfect than you are. And when you haven't defined success for yourself, you will always come up short. Success begins the moment you stop letting the world tell you who you should be. Leadership starts within. It shows up in the choices you make when no one is applauding. You were designed with intention. When your decisions honor that design, clarity replaces confusion and integrity becomes your compass. This is what real leadership looks like... quiet strength, and a life that reflects who you were created to be. That choice is available to you every single day. And today is a powerful place to begin. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice one ordinary action you take that reflects who you want to be as a leader. It could be how you respond to someone, how you follow through on a small task, or how you speak to yourself. Acknowledge it. Honor it. Let it be proof that your design is showing up in real time. Remember, success is in these conscious, everyday choices.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 2, 2026
Sometimes you have an idea of how you believe something should be. Your idea, however, is much grander than reality. Because you don't want to give up on the grandness of that vision, you start to twist yourself into a pretzel—and do things that aren't really you to see if you can make what you want come to life. People do this with relationships, their career or business path, and their God-given mission. Looking at something and accepting it for what it is takes massive amounts of courage. In a world that will give you a free pass if you make excuses for your behavior rather than encouraging you to look in the mirror, I see this path more times than I'd ever thought I would. Someone recently asked me why most folks find accountability inherently difficult. He was looking for someone to hold him accountable, and realized that no one in his friend circle had the strength or capacity to do it. After a long pause, I shared with him that if someone were to hold you accountable for your behavior, they'd have to look at and acknowledge their own shortcoming and missteps. It's just easier to ignore what you're doing, so they don't have to look at what they're doing. Long ago, I made a pact with myself that I wanted people in my life who were committed to honest, transparent dialogue. Over the past several decades, this has served me well—even when it hasn't been comfortable. I'm not looking for a free pass. Leadership is challenging, sometimes messy, and always uncomfortable. Most folks just aren't interested in signing up for something that doesn't have them feel good 24x7. When I got clear on the 7 Pillars of God-Centered Leadership, it was like something shifted in me. I got that when I walked this path and took this journey, I didn't need to twist myself into a pretzel or spend time worrying about what other people thought about me. As long as my heart is right with God, leadership is about His way, not mine. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to write down the qualities that would earn someone the right to speak into your life. Focus on who they are and not what they do. Choose qualities anchored in truth, integrity, humility, and alignment with your Divine mission. Then pause and look at your list honestly. Let your life rise to meet what you say you value.
