You Get What You Tolerate

Lisa Marie Platske • July 22, 2013

 

At my 2nd annual Leadership Success Summit, one of my speakers (the brilliant Mary Cantando) said, “You get what you tolerate.”


I’m pretty sure she got that quote from her Women’s Advantage calendar, and I’ve been using it ever since.


I’m a giver. And, I’m guessing you are, too.


When it comes to sharing my time, talent, and resources, I have a tendency to over-deliver and over-serve.


And, if I’m not careful, my giving nature can drain my energy, time, and money.


I’m here to tell you (and remind myself) that this is not the best manner in which to serve the world.


Sure you may look at it as if you’re willing to do whatever it takes for you to grow and serve your colleagues and clients but there’s more to that tale.


Giving too much can cause you to burn out and lose sight of what’s most important.


Then, you end up stressed out, inconvenienced or disappointed – and you’re actually moving away from doing what you do best.


Sound familiar?


If you want your career, business, and life to thrive – and you want the time to grow personally – you need to monitor what you’re tolerating.


Here are three tips to change what you’re tolerating:


1) Identify What You Tolerate: Take a piece of paper out and divide it into two areas – What’s Working and What’s Not. Give yourself 10 minutes to list everything that is frustrating you right now in your career, business, or life. Even if you think they’re minor, you are not overreacting. Honor where you are and how you feel.


2) Examine the Effect on Your Life: I often speak about the 7 areas of wellness in your life – physical, emotional, intellectual, financial, spiritual, relational, and creativity (or work). Using these 7 areas, examine and identify what the impact is in each of the items listed on your “What’s Not” section.


3) Choose One: Review the effects and choose the one that is having the greatest impact on your life. Determine what you will do to take action to resolve the situation.


Repeat.


This is a process I use when I start to feel resentful about my work, and often it is because I’ve been over-delivering, over-serving, and over-giving.


Know that you are where you choose to be.



By Lisa Marie Platske February 23, 2026
You can believe the best or worst about people. It’s less lonely to believe the best in them, yet that's really hard to do, especially when you've been burned over and over. When I think about leadership as a whole, this is one of the hardest elements to master because people are human. ~ They're going to get stuff wrong. ~ They're going to say things you don't like. ~ They're going to hurt your feelings, even if you don't want to admit it. At some point, most folks give up trying or at least caring. It's often easier to numb or ignore than to deal with a disappointment. Yet numbing or ignoring doesn't change the body's reaction internally to the situation. To get to a place where you are able to believe the best in folks takes work. There is no leadership pill or shortcut. At least not one that I've ever found. One of the biggest flexes is being able to hold space for someone when they've wronged you. I remember years ago reading an article about Richard Branson, and one of his employees who had stolen from him. Branson told the manager to speak to him—and give him a second chance. A second chance?!? Are you kidding me?!? That's a break in integrity and grounds for removal in any industry. Reading this had me wonder what Branson knew about leadership that at the time I didn't. To take it a step further, my curiosity increased and I wondered what would happen if I did something like this in my own life. It felt awkward to try this idea on as I had long-rooted beliefs that certain behaviors were vehemently wrong—and should be punished. Was it possible that leadership required unconditional love? Now, this didn't mean being a doormat and letting someone walk all over you. Anyone who knows me understands that's never gonna happen. Yet this new perspective, this new lens, had me curious about what would happen if I led from that place. Over the years, I can say it hasn't been the easiest thing to do—and it's been the most rewarding. I still have folks come back to me who wronged me telling me how much they respect the way I handled the situation. My greatest desire for folks is that they lead their lives in a way that honors the core of their being—their divine mission and purpose. And it's really hard to do that when you're steeped in judgment, blame, or shame-inducing behaviors. Love is the answer, regardless of the question. Because you can choose to believe the worst in people. Or you can choose to see the best in people. It's always your choice. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one person who has disappointed or frustrated you. Take one step from your highest self that keeps your heart open. Speak with calm. Acknowledge something they did right. And release the story you’ve been holding. Lead from love today.
By Lisa Marie Platske February 16, 2026
Life’s little synchronicities. Have you noticed them? Something happens that was too meaningful to be a coincidence. ~ Meeting that person. ~ Getting that call. ~ Having the impossible become possible?!? Perhaps you’re thinking about someone, and then they call. How does that happen?!? Or, you get a bill, and you've got no idea how you’re going to pay it. And then, poof! ... the exact amount of money you need just shows up. I’ve experienced countless events like these throughout my life. And while some people believe they are random, I understand in the depth of my being that these experiences are signs from the Holy Spirit to get my attention or answer a prayer. When you are in co-creation with all of Life, you get messages to confirm you’re on the right path. When I’m in ease and grace, greater wealth, opportunities, and relationships flow into my life. It’s magical. However, you have to be open to notice the signs in the first place. Every synchronicity carries wisdom for the journey. When you lean into the whispers of the Holy Spirit, life opens in ways you couldn’t script on your own. Stay open. Stay expectant. What you’ve been seeking may already be moving towards you in ways you can’t yet see. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stay on the lookout for meaningful synchronicities throughout your days. Each time one happens, jot it down so you don’t forget. At the end of the week sit with your list and speak your gratitude aloud for every moment that aligned for you.
By Lisa Marie Platske February 9, 2026
“You can’t quit your job to open a business. You don’t even know anything about business.” I get it. Taking a leap of faith doesn’t make sense. That’s why it’s called faith. So I took the leap of faith anyway. “That’s not the way we do that here.” I understand. And I created a new way of doing business that is more effective—and fun! “Why must you be such a troublemaker?” I don’t know what you mean. I get there are rules within the system—and I chose to create a new system. “That’s not possible.” Sure it is. I just did it. “You’re being reckless. You have responsibilities.” It depends on how you look at it. I see unlimited possibilities. These are real-life conversations I've had with folks in different seasons of my life. See, the rewards of courageous leadership are immense. Questioning 'what if...' to create 'what is' has been my journey. And it’s probably yours, too. You can’t live out your mission by playing by the rules of a broken world. Don’t let the “we’ve always done it this way” paradigm get in the way of making a positive difference on the planet. Remember, there’s always a way. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stop letting “we’ve always done it this way” slow your impact. Take a process, workflow, or system that isn’t serving your mission and start redesigning it. Remember, there’s always a way to make a bigger difference and it starts with your decision to do things differently.
By Lisa Marie Platske February 2, 2026
You have been hard-wired for greatness so stop trying so hard to be something other than who you are. I see it all the time. Folks who tie themselves into knots, seeking the approval of others. Oh, it's not conscious. Most leaders would tell you that they're comfortable being their own boss, in charge of their time. Behind closed doors, many of them have told me something different. And that's because conflict, being misunderstood, and being vilified are pretty crummy. Most folks want to be liked. They want to be valued and appreciated for the effort they've put in. Your greatest gift to the planet is to be fully, completely, and unapologetically who you are. Doing that may come with some pretty harsh consequences ... which is why most leaders are willing to sell out. The thing that isn't always self-evident about compromising your values and beliefs is that every night you're stuck with you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror. You are the only one who understands the choices you've made—right, wrong, or indifferent. When the day is done, the truth always meets you in the quiet. It asks whether you stood in integrity or traded pieces of yourself to keep the peace. Leadership requires decisions that don’t win applause. It often asks you to hold your ground when others want you to bend. Living aligned with who you are may cost you approval or relationships. Yet, it will never cost you your soul. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to name a decision you’ve been avoiding because it feels risky or uncomfortable. It could be ending a partnership that no longer serves your vision, raising the standards for a client, or closing a door that keeps you from your calling. Take one bold, aligned action this week that honors your integrity and the leader you were created to be.
More Posts
By Lisa Marie Platske February 23, 2026
You can believe the best or worst about people. It’s less lonely to believe the best in them, yet that's really hard to do, especially when you've been burned over and over. When I think about leadership as a whole, this is one of the hardest elements to master because people are human. ~ They're going to get stuff wrong. ~ They're going to say things you don't like. ~ They're going to hurt your feelings, even if you don't want to admit it. At some point, most folks give up trying or at least caring. It's often easier to numb or ignore than to deal with a disappointment. Yet numbing or ignoring doesn't change the body's reaction internally to the situation. To get to a place where you are able to believe the best in folks takes work. There is no leadership pill or shortcut. At least not one that I've ever found. One of the biggest flexes is being able to hold space for someone when they've wronged you. I remember years ago reading an article about Richard Branson, and one of his employees who had stolen from him. Branson told the manager to speak to him—and give him a second chance. A second chance?!? Are you kidding me?!? That's a break in integrity and grounds for removal in any industry. Reading this had me wonder what Branson knew about leadership that at the time I didn't. To take it a step further, my curiosity increased and I wondered what would happen if I did something like this in my own life. It felt awkward to try this idea on as I had long-rooted beliefs that certain behaviors were vehemently wrong—and should be punished. Was it possible that leadership required unconditional love? Now, this didn't mean being a doormat and letting someone walk all over you. Anyone who knows me understands that's never gonna happen. Yet this new perspective, this new lens, had me curious about what would happen if I led from that place. Over the years, I can say it hasn't been the easiest thing to do—and it's been the most rewarding. I still have folks come back to me who wronged me telling me how much they respect the way I handled the situation. My greatest desire for folks is that they lead their lives in a way that honors the core of their being—their divine mission and purpose. And it's really hard to do that when you're steeped in judgment, blame, or shame-inducing behaviors. Love is the answer, regardless of the question. Because you can choose to believe the worst in people. Or you can choose to see the best in people. It's always your choice. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one person who has disappointed or frustrated you. Take one step from your highest self that keeps your heart open. Speak with calm. Acknowledge something they did right. And release the story you’ve been holding. Lead from love today.
By Lisa Marie Platske February 16, 2026
Life’s little synchronicities. Have you noticed them? Something happens that was too meaningful to be a coincidence. ~ Meeting that person. ~ Getting that call. ~ Having the impossible become possible?!? Perhaps you’re thinking about someone, and then they call. How does that happen?!? Or, you get a bill, and you've got no idea how you’re going to pay it. And then, poof! ... the exact amount of money you need just shows up. I’ve experienced countless events like these throughout my life. And while some people believe they are random, I understand in the depth of my being that these experiences are signs from the Holy Spirit to get my attention or answer a prayer. When you are in co-creation with all of Life, you get messages to confirm you’re on the right path. When I’m in ease and grace, greater wealth, opportunities, and relationships flow into my life. It’s magical. However, you have to be open to notice the signs in the first place. Every synchronicity carries wisdom for the journey. When you lean into the whispers of the Holy Spirit, life opens in ways you couldn’t script on your own. Stay open. Stay expectant. What you’ve been seeking may already be moving towards you in ways you can’t yet see. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stay on the lookout for meaningful synchronicities throughout your days. Each time one happens, jot it down so you don’t forget. At the end of the week sit with your list and speak your gratitude aloud for every moment that aligned for you.
By Lisa Marie Platske February 9, 2026
“You can’t quit your job to open a business. You don’t even know anything about business.” I get it. Taking a leap of faith doesn’t make sense. That’s why it’s called faith. So I took the leap of faith anyway. “That’s not the way we do that here.” I understand. And I created a new way of doing business that is more effective—and fun! “Why must you be such a troublemaker?” I don’t know what you mean. I get there are rules within the system—and I chose to create a new system. “That’s not possible.” Sure it is. I just did it. “You’re being reckless. You have responsibilities.” It depends on how you look at it. I see unlimited possibilities. These are real-life conversations I've had with folks in different seasons of my life. See, the rewards of courageous leadership are immense. Questioning 'what if...' to create 'what is' has been my journey. And it’s probably yours, too. You can’t live out your mission by playing by the rules of a broken world. Don’t let the “we’ve always done it this way” paradigm get in the way of making a positive difference on the planet. Remember, there’s always a way. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stop letting “we’ve always done it this way” slow your impact. Take a process, workflow, or system that isn’t serving your mission and start redesigning it. Remember, there’s always a way to make a bigger difference and it starts with your decision to do things differently.
By Lisa Marie Platske February 2, 2026
You have been hard-wired for greatness so stop trying so hard to be something other than who you are. I see it all the time. Folks who tie themselves into knots, seeking the approval of others. Oh, it's not conscious. Most leaders would tell you that they're comfortable being their own boss, in charge of their time. Behind closed doors, many of them have told me something different. And that's because conflict, being misunderstood, and being vilified are pretty crummy. Most folks want to be liked. They want to be valued and appreciated for the effort they've put in. Your greatest gift to the planet is to be fully, completely, and unapologetically who you are. Doing that may come with some pretty harsh consequences ... which is why most leaders are willing to sell out. The thing that isn't always self-evident about compromising your values and beliefs is that every night you're stuck with you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror. You are the only one who understands the choices you've made—right, wrong, or indifferent. When the day is done, the truth always meets you in the quiet. It asks whether you stood in integrity or traded pieces of yourself to keep the peace. Leadership requires decisions that don’t win applause. It often asks you to hold your ground when others want you to bend. Living aligned with who you are may cost you approval or relationships. Yet, it will never cost you your soul. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to name a decision you’ve been avoiding because it feels risky or uncomfortable. It could be ending a partnership that no longer serves your vision, raising the standards for a client, or closing a door that keeps you from your calling. Take one bold, aligned action this week that honors your integrity and the leader you were created to be.
More Posts