From People Pleaser to Servant Leader!
Lisa Marie Platske • February 11, 2013
LOVE.
Oh, how I enjoy showering the people in my life with love and appreciation.
Whether it be in planning an event like my wedding or the Leadership Success Summit, I spend hours thinking about what I can do to make it the best experience for everyone who is there.
One of the biggest gifts I believe you can give anyone you love is to be fully present in the moment, giving them your undivided attention. It’s also a personal value of mine and serves as one of the 7 Pillars of Leadership.
This morning, my mastermind partner asked me what I was going to do to remove the distractions from my day so I could focus on the tasks at hand.
I thought it was a great question, and decided to physically move myself from my office (which isn’t fully unpacked from my trip to Philadelphia for my sister’s wedding) to my library.
Whatever I am working on, I attempt to focus on it 100% by removing any and all distractions around me.
But, the truth is there is one distraction I find difficult to make go away – and this is the desire to have people to like me.
When you love people and you want them to like you, you may find that “yes” is part of your vocabulary when you should be saying “no”.
I know for myself, then when I do say “no”, I worry about how much I’m disappointing the person who made the request.
I’ve shared that my theme for this year is TRUST++ which has helped me to work on getting MUCH better with this.
Trust has helped me move from being a recovering people-pleaser to a servant leader…
….and being a servant leader means being honest enough to say “no” rather than to build resentment in a relationship by saying “yes”.
So, here’s what I’ve learned…..
Servant leaders pursue authenticity rather than chase acceptance. I understand that standing for something means that not everyone will like what I say or do, but if I’m true to who I am, I will be better for everyone around me.
Servant leaders focus on their personal mission and say “no” to everything that isn’t in alignment with that mission, regardless of whether it will disappoint someone. And, yes, I am going to disappoint someone because I’m choosing to put me first. (Wow! Did I just say that?!?) By doing that, I am ultimately giving everyone in my life the best of me. Do I wish I could say “yes” to everything that comes my way? Sure. And, I’ve tried to do this and it doesn’t work. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day.
Servant leaders honestly assess whether it makes sense to say “yes” with where they are at any given moment. Sometimes I have time in my schedule but I just cannot give more of me to anything else, regardless of whether my heart wants to say “yes”. Jim and I both travel, and our schedules don’t always match up. Unfortunately, it’s often the people I love most that will be on the receiving end of me being stressed out, and not those I am helping out.
Look, there are people who I know I will never be enough, or ever get it right for them, regardless of how much I give. (Fortunately, I’ve gotten rid of most of these people or working on it!)
And, there are other people in my life who won’t stop liking me regardless of how many times I’ve said “no”.
How about you?
Are you a servant leader?
This week is Valentine’s Day.
Make sure that the person you give love to is yourself and trust that the people who care most about you would want the same for you.
Oh, and look at your list and say “no” to what’s not working
See Upside. Be Upside. Live Upside.
Posted in Upside Thought
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 30, 2026
I wonder how much time I've spent trying to figure out how I'm going to get something to work. I wonder how many hours I've tried to get something "right" or figure out how I'm going to do something. I wonder how many minutes I've belabored what it would take to get what I wanted—and how it was going to happen. And it's not just me. Everyone wants to know "the how" of something coming together. That's part of the danger of spending too much time in the thinking mind. It wants answers. Yet the mind-brain was designed to keep humans safe. That's why there is a fight-or-flight mechanism wired inside each one of us. Over time, man began relying on the thinking mind for more than God ever envisioned. When I have a pressing problem, I used to believe I could think my way out of it, seeking the "right" way forward. Now, I take it to prayer, trusting that there's probably something I can't see on my own that will lead to a solution with greater ease than I can see on my own. Doing the heavy lifting myself is something I was accustomed to doing. I can hustle and grind, and muscle and might my way through just about anything. When others would give up, I'd still be standing because of my inner resolve to win. Yet choosing to live and run my business this way led to greater struggles, heartache, and feeling overburdened than asking God to lead ever did. This doesn't mean I get to abdicate responsibility and just surrender to whatever comes my way. Walking with intention requires personal responsibility. The how isn't any of my business as long as I stay the course, listening to where God's leading me. And the same is true for you, too. Most problems require stillness, presence, and an invocation of the answer that you can't see on your own. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one thing you have been carrying in your head. Before you do something with it, pause and invite God into the moment. Then set a 15-minute timer and take one clear, practical action that is already in front of you. Stay present with the work until the timer ends. When the time is up, stop and release the rest back to God. This is how trust becomes embodied leadership, one intentional step at a time.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 23, 2026
In a world that is designed for you to have a plan and map out your every move, living moment-by-moment can be challenging. You will likely be met with judgment by the folks around you, feeling you move too slow or are a bit directionless. Yet the only way to experience peace is in this moment. It doesn't happen when you focus on your past. And it doesn't live in your future, either. Years ago, I had someone who was well-known in the world of transformational leadership reach out to me, asking if she could hire me. When I asked her what she wanted to work on, she shared that she wanted me to teach her how to be present. Huh? I didn't understand what she was asking or why it was an issue. And at the time, I couldn't figure out how to put together a package or offering on something that felt so natural to me. Over the years, I've discovered that presence is elusive for most folks. They don't understand its power or grasp how to attain it, and live in the here and now. Perhaps that's the reason Eckhart Tolle's book The Power of Now has sold millions of copies. When presence eludes you, you run back and forth chasing moments you once lived in the past—or spending time wishing for tomorrow to get here. The blessing of living in this moment means you get to see all of the gifts that are in your life right now. ~ The people you love ~ The places you enjoy ~ The experiences you cultivate When you run around comparing what was or what you think will be to this moment, you miss out on the gift of life that God has given you. And when you lead from this place, it's hard for others to want to follow you. Leadership requires a commitment to the here and now. And the best leaders are present to the wonder of life, living One Moment At A Time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice leading from presence rather than a plan. When something interrupts your schedule or pulls you off your agenda, pause and stay in the moment instead of rushing ahead or reacting. Give your full attention to what is right in front of you and allow peace to guide your response. Trust that honoring the present moment is an act of faith, clarity, and leadership, and that what truly matters will unfold one moment at a time.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 16, 2026
What would happen if your vision, your wildest desire, became fulfilled? Then what? What if you were as successful, as impactful as your soul is nudging you to be? What if? Most folks never give themselves permission to answer those questions. The idea that life follows a rote rhythm and then one day your time has come to cross the rainbow bridge sounds awful to me. Yet I've met far too many folks who live their life this way, expecting very little—and giving very little in return. Long ago, I noticed this conscious and unconscious sleepwalking where the hottest thing on the market was what would keep you comfortable and out of pain. That trend, while appealing, seeks to remove all suffering from the human experience. If you really want your vision to come to life, you're gonna experience some heartache. That's reality. Suffering stretches you to become better ... to defy the odds, pushing on your growth edges and inviting you to rise up. What if you never sold out on yourself again? What if you asked for the best seat in the house and were offered even better? I believe you can, you will—and you must. For without vision, people perish. I believe in you. Start asking for the best and keep asking until you get it. That's the Upside Way. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to set aside ten intentional minutes this week and ask yourself this question and write the answer without negotiating it down. What vision did I quietly place on the shelf because it asked more of me? Let it be bold. It may feel premature or it may feel like it asks you to be seen before you feel ready. Honor it anyway. Then take one visible step that tests the vision in the real world. Share the idea. Voice the invitation. Signal your willingness to lead. And remember, you are committing to obedience.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 10, 2026
What may look like ordinary sameness to other people is often an exhilarating journey to me… …when I choose to see it that way. I celebrate: My wins. My losses. My everyday actions. Moment by moment, I’m grateful for the journey. Because that’s what success looks like. Despite what the world wants you to believe, success isn't perfection or acts of grandeur. Success doesn't always come with a parade or accolades that get you on the cover of the magazine. Success is the manifestation of your design. You get to decide every day if you're the kind of leader that would be worth following—in your family, your workplace, and your circle of friends. The key is to be honest about your thoughts, actions, and behaviors and what they are producing. In many ways, you're told to turn a blind eye to shortcomings and bury them or numb them. For example, excessive drinking can be excused when someone is under stress as it's deemed socially acceptable. And what would be considered excessive in one area seems to be celebrated in another arena. These moral conflicts impede the path to real success ... the kind where you look in the mirror and you're proud of every decision you've made. Leadership can be complicated as leaders are often sought out for answers and their acumen in a particular area. Yet that doesn't mean they're any more perfect than you are. And when you haven't defined success for yourself, you will always come up short. Success begins the moment you stop letting the world tell you who you should be. Leadership starts within. It shows up in the choices you make when no one is applauding. You were designed with intention. When your decisions honor that design, clarity replaces confusion and integrity becomes your compass. This is what real leadership looks like... quiet strength, and a life that reflects who you were created to be. That choice is available to you every single day. And today is a powerful place to begin. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice one ordinary action you take that reflects who you want to be as a leader. It could be how you respond to someone, how you follow through on a small task, or how you speak to yourself. Acknowledge it. Honor it. Let it be proof that your design is showing up in real time. Remember, success is in these conscious, everyday choices.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 30, 2026
I wonder how much time I've spent trying to figure out how I'm going to get something to work. I wonder how many hours I've tried to get something "right" or figure out how I'm going to do something. I wonder how many minutes I've belabored what it would take to get what I wanted—and how it was going to happen. And it's not just me. Everyone wants to know "the how" of something coming together. That's part of the danger of spending too much time in the thinking mind. It wants answers. Yet the mind-brain was designed to keep humans safe. That's why there is a fight-or-flight mechanism wired inside each one of us. Over time, man began relying on the thinking mind for more than God ever envisioned. When I have a pressing problem, I used to believe I could think my way out of it, seeking the "right" way forward. Now, I take it to prayer, trusting that there's probably something I can't see on my own that will lead to a solution with greater ease than I can see on my own. Doing the heavy lifting myself is something I was accustomed to doing. I can hustle and grind, and muscle and might my way through just about anything. When others would give up, I'd still be standing because of my inner resolve to win. Yet choosing to live and run my business this way led to greater struggles, heartache, and feeling overburdened than asking God to lead ever did. This doesn't mean I get to abdicate responsibility and just surrender to whatever comes my way. Walking with intention requires personal responsibility. The how isn't any of my business as long as I stay the course, listening to where God's leading me. And the same is true for you, too. Most problems require stillness, presence, and an invocation of the answer that you can't see on your own. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one thing you have been carrying in your head. Before you do something with it, pause and invite God into the moment. Then set a 15-minute timer and take one clear, practical action that is already in front of you. Stay present with the work until the timer ends. When the time is up, stop and release the rest back to God. This is how trust becomes embodied leadership, one intentional step at a time.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 23, 2026
In a world that is designed for you to have a plan and map out your every move, living moment-by-moment can be challenging. You will likely be met with judgment by the folks around you, feeling you move too slow or are a bit directionless. Yet the only way to experience peace is in this moment. It doesn't happen when you focus on your past. And it doesn't live in your future, either. Years ago, I had someone who was well-known in the world of transformational leadership reach out to me, asking if she could hire me. When I asked her what she wanted to work on, she shared that she wanted me to teach her how to be present. Huh? I didn't understand what she was asking or why it was an issue. And at the time, I couldn't figure out how to put together a package or offering on something that felt so natural to me. Over the years, I've discovered that presence is elusive for most folks. They don't understand its power or grasp how to attain it, and live in the here and now. Perhaps that's the reason Eckhart Tolle's book The Power of Now has sold millions of copies. When presence eludes you, you run back and forth chasing moments you once lived in the past—or spending time wishing for tomorrow to get here. The blessing of living in this moment means you get to see all of the gifts that are in your life right now. ~ The people you love ~ The places you enjoy ~ The experiences you cultivate When you run around comparing what was or what you think will be to this moment, you miss out on the gift of life that God has given you. And when you lead from this place, it's hard for others to want to follow you. Leadership requires a commitment to the here and now. And the best leaders are present to the wonder of life, living One Moment At A Time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice leading from presence rather than a plan. When something interrupts your schedule or pulls you off your agenda, pause and stay in the moment instead of rushing ahead or reacting. Give your full attention to what is right in front of you and allow peace to guide your response. Trust that honoring the present moment is an act of faith, clarity, and leadership, and that what truly matters will unfold one moment at a time.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 16, 2026
What would happen if your vision, your wildest desire, became fulfilled? Then what? What if you were as successful, as impactful as your soul is nudging you to be? What if? Most folks never give themselves permission to answer those questions. The idea that life follows a rote rhythm and then one day your time has come to cross the rainbow bridge sounds awful to me. Yet I've met far too many folks who live their life this way, expecting very little—and giving very little in return. Long ago, I noticed this conscious and unconscious sleepwalking where the hottest thing on the market was what would keep you comfortable and out of pain. That trend, while appealing, seeks to remove all suffering from the human experience. If you really want your vision to come to life, you're gonna experience some heartache. That's reality. Suffering stretches you to become better ... to defy the odds, pushing on your growth edges and inviting you to rise up. What if you never sold out on yourself again? What if you asked for the best seat in the house and were offered even better? I believe you can, you will—and you must. For without vision, people perish. I believe in you. Start asking for the best and keep asking until you get it. That's the Upside Way. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to set aside ten intentional minutes this week and ask yourself this question and write the answer without negotiating it down. What vision did I quietly place on the shelf because it asked more of me? Let it be bold. It may feel premature or it may feel like it asks you to be seen before you feel ready. Honor it anyway. Then take one visible step that tests the vision in the real world. Share the idea. Voice the invitation. Signal your willingness to lead. And remember, you are committing to obedience.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 10, 2026
What may look like ordinary sameness to other people is often an exhilarating journey to me… …when I choose to see it that way. I celebrate: My wins. My losses. My everyday actions. Moment by moment, I’m grateful for the journey. Because that’s what success looks like. Despite what the world wants you to believe, success isn't perfection or acts of grandeur. Success doesn't always come with a parade or accolades that get you on the cover of the magazine. Success is the manifestation of your design. You get to decide every day if you're the kind of leader that would be worth following—in your family, your workplace, and your circle of friends. The key is to be honest about your thoughts, actions, and behaviors and what they are producing. In many ways, you're told to turn a blind eye to shortcomings and bury them or numb them. For example, excessive drinking can be excused when someone is under stress as it's deemed socially acceptable. And what would be considered excessive in one area seems to be celebrated in another arena. These moral conflicts impede the path to real success ... the kind where you look in the mirror and you're proud of every decision you've made. Leadership can be complicated as leaders are often sought out for answers and their acumen in a particular area. Yet that doesn't mean they're any more perfect than you are. And when you haven't defined success for yourself, you will always come up short. Success begins the moment you stop letting the world tell you who you should be. Leadership starts within. It shows up in the choices you make when no one is applauding. You were designed with intention. When your decisions honor that design, clarity replaces confusion and integrity becomes your compass. This is what real leadership looks like... quiet strength, and a life that reflects who you were created to be. That choice is available to you every single day. And today is a powerful place to begin. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice one ordinary action you take that reflects who you want to be as a leader. It could be how you respond to someone, how you follow through on a small task, or how you speak to yourself. Acknowledge it. Honor it. Let it be proof that your design is showing up in real time. Remember, success is in these conscious, everyday choices.
