The Steps You Can Take to Cultivate Lasting Peace and Presence
I worked hard to gain wisdom in one area of expertise. I went to school, studied, read books, and took countless classes on leadership, investing over ten thousand of hours of my time. When I started receiving requests for coaching, I expected that I would be sharing what I had learned in my studies.
Yet, over the past decade, what clients have asked for has been more about how to lead themselves to acquire the intangibles in life—freedom, ease, peace, and presence—what I see as health, happiness, success, and meaning.
These are the desires that come up indirectly in almost every coaching conversation I've ever had.
Here's what I've learned about how to obtain these intangibles:
- When you make a decision, do it with intention. Invest all of your energy focused on what you want, not on what you don’t want.
- Study your emotions with as much intensity as you study what you're most interested in. This will allow you to understand how you're feeling about a situation and whether that’s getting in the way of your decision-making. Remember, emotional intelligence mastery is way more valuable (in the 90th percentile) than just your IQ.
- Don’t look outside yourself to figure out what’s best for you. That’s why I don’t give clients answers. I ensure they ask great questions and then guide them to get clear on what they want. Ultimately, they are the authority on what is best for where they want to go.
- Understand your value. Treat your gifts, talents, and abilities as priceless because they are—especially when you use them to make the world a bit better each day.
- Choose to live in service to your God-given mission. That doesn’t mean life will be easy, but it does mean it can be filled with ease. Remember, hard comes in different packages, so don’t judge someone else’s journey.
None of this has anything to do with your bank balance, your debt-to-income ratio, the number of sales you made last month, or any other measurable that feels like it’s going to lead you to health, happiness, success, and meaning.
These intangibles grow from the inside out, not the other way around.
A recent example of how I lived this out was deciding to attend the annual Herb Society of America EdCon 2024 with my mom.
My decision wasn’t made by looking at my responsibilities or even my personal preferences—it was made from my values.
I chose to register and attend with my mom from a place of who I am, what I want, and why it matters.
I value relationships and am clear on the ones I want to cultivate and grow in the world, including a greater connection with my parents.
I can feel when something is important to do, regardless of all I have on my plate at the time.
Be clear on who you are.
Be clear on what you want.
Be clear on why it matters.
And remember, the world needs you and your brilliance.
ACTION: The Upside Challenge for this week is to embrace your inner authority and trust yourself to make decisions that align with your true path as that's real leadership.
Begin by tuning out the outside noise. Instead of seeking advice or validation from others, take a moment to listen to your inner voice.
Think about a recent decision you made—was it really what you wanted, or were you swayed by what others thought?
Next, ask yourself some real, honest questions. What do you truly want? What’s most important to you? Are you living according to your values, or are you following someone else’s path?
Then, take one step to reinforce your trust in yourself. It could be making a decision based on your gut feeling or choosing to ignore what others might think.
Remember, no one knows what’s best for you better than you do.
You’ve got the wisdom within you -- and may just need a guide on your journey to light the way.







