"May you find yourself the bullseye of an easy target.
May you be publicly flogged for all of your bad choices.
And may your noses be rubbed in all of your mistakes."
This quote from the movie Runaway Bride, was said by one of the main characters to the friends and family of the other lead character at the rehearsal dinner. He was in essence rebuking them in his toast after they had openly humiliated her, making fun of her mistakes and embarrassing moments from her past.
Every time I come across it ...
... it evokes a visceral response in my body.
The same response I feel when I read ...
"He that is without sin among you ...
... let him cast the first stone at her."
The movie shines light on behavior that is unkind, and clearly unconscious, all in the name of getting a good laugh at the expense of someone else.
It demonstrates that love is not cruel. While love is honest, true love is about speaking the truth while also being conscious and keenly aware of the impact of one's words and actions.
Love goes hand in hand with empathy.
Because what you say and how you say and why you say it, all
have an effect on others around you.
Recently I had a conversation with a friend where Love was tangibly present ...
... like a third entity in the room, ensuring that what was said was for the highest good.
She and I had an honest dialogue ...
... and because we both showed up choosing to lead with love ...
.. unattached to the outcome rather than "pushing" for what we personally wanted, something greater than I could ever have imagined showed up.
That "surprise solution" is only possible when you lead with compassion and love and hold the commitment to solution above personal gain.
The best leaders get this. That's how they lead teams of people. That's how they create synergy and collaboration.
And that's why it's important to...
... check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Because there's always collateral damage.
ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to tap into empathy as a leadership skill.
Practice leading from love and compassion in every conversation. (Even, and especially, the difficult ones.)
Notice the outcomes and the effect on the culture of your workplace and home.
Now, go shine your light.