Staying True to Your "Why" When You Feel Stuck
Life moves fast, yet I remember this as if it happened last week.
It was 2015. And I was introduced to Frances through a mutual friend who lived just outside Tucson.
It was a warm evening – about 94 degrees -- and she and I had planned on meeting up while I was in town speaking at a conference.
When she asked if she could bring Frances along, I hesitated, as if you know anything about me, you know I prefer one-on-one interactions.
Yet when I travel, I meet up with at least one friend in the area, and meeting their friends has allowed me to expand my billion-dollar database of connections.
As it turned out, Frances was also an entrepreneur and had more than one business.
When she spoke, she spoke with conviction and felt more like an old friend than a new acquaintance. The three of us talked about life, leadership, and the desire to leave a legacy.
Frances shared she had one daughter and was extremely close to her. She didn’t talk much about her boyfriend, and so I didn’t ask anything about him.
At the end of the night, I was thrilled I gave Maggie the green light to bring her, and knew it wouldn’t be the last time we would connect.
Yet it surprised me how quickly she reached out – and for what.
Frances called me 2 days after we met. I was getting ready to travel back to Alexandria, Virginia where I was living at the time.
She asked if I was still in town – and I said “Yes.”
"I’d like to run something by you Lisa Marie, and want to see if you can help me."
Unsure of what she wanted to talk about, I said, “Sure thing.” and told her to text me the address of where to meet up.
When we were sitting down face-to-face, she opened up and poured out her heart to me.
Her 8-person company (the one she was focused on growing) had been struggling from the effects of dealing with a toxic employee, and Frances was at her wits end.
This one person’s behavior had spilled over and was now infecting the team. She had no idea how to fire the person or for what grounds.
Yet more importantly, she didn’t know how to re-create a healthy culture within without starting over.
It was taking up so much time and energy that her personal relationships were strained.
Over the next year, I coached her through how to get create a healthy separation, implement a performance management program, and ultimately terminate the employee using tools from my Human Resources background.
Then, I worked with her on how to rebuild her company from the inside out.
We focused on a quarterly objective and wins around that one priority, using her core values as a guide.
What she got early on was the importance of getting clarity on who she is, what she wants, and why it matters.
Then we had to ensure it matched how she showed up every day.
See, Frances had built this company with sweat equity. She was heavily involved and understood what to do.
Yet she made a poor hire and didn’t take action fast enough, tolerating poor performance and poor behavior.
That one decision derailed her forward momentum and had her get off track.
I understand.
It happens to all of us.
It may very well be happening to you right now.
You lose sight of the fact that your company will only go as far as your self-development goes.
When you are dealing with a problem in your business, you're often personally stuck and not running optimally. How could the business excel when part of your energy is being hijacked?!?
It’s easy to pour all of your energy into your company’s growth that you fail to take the time to pour into your own evolution and then can’t see how you’ve contributed to what’s not working.
And gosh, I’ve been there, pushing so hard to grow my business that I forgot to focus on me – and my personal leadership development.
I dumped cash into new marketing and branding systems and even fancy new signage and technology, and didn’t invest a dime in me growing as a leader.
I helped Frances focus on herself and what she wanted, as well as why she started the business in the first place before taking action on the toxic employee.
Once she was strong and thriving again, her company followed suit.
Frances is doing amazing things in the world.
We still connect a few times a year. And she even hired me to coach her daughter.
Her company has grown and is filled with happy, healthy folks who are enjoying their own version of health, happiness, success, and meaning.
This is what I love.
This is what I do.
This is my purpose.
ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one area of your business or life where you are currently feeling stuck, derailed, or off-track from your vision.
Get radically honest with yourself about what internal blocks or external influences may be hindering your progress.
Next, make a list of 1-3 specific actions you can take to re-align and move forward again with clarity.
Don't just consider business tactics, rather also any personal growth, mindset shifts, or behavior changes that may be needed from you as the leader.
For example, it may mean having a difficult conversation, enforcing boundaries, recommitting to your core values, or simply pausing to reconnect with your "why." Remember, your business can only grow as much as you do.
Once you identify those 1-3 actions, schedule dedicated time over the next week to complete them.
Ask someone you trust to hold you accountable if needed.
Staying stuck serves no one - you have too many gifts to share with the world.
The path forward starts by getting brutally honest about where you are.
