How Will You Invest in Your Leadership Journey?
I grew up on South Delaware Street where kids played outside.
There were no video games back then, and life was about who could ride their Big Wheel down the hill and not crash.
Dented bikes and broken arms all from calculated risk taking.
Back then, when something went sideways, you could hear a half dozen "It wasn't my fault's" reverberate throughout the neighborhood.
It was natural to blame other kids when things went wrong.
Almost 50 years later, the blame game is still very much alive and well in workplaces and companies around the world.
Humans are wired to point the finger at someone else when they're disappointed and tend to overlook their own shortcomings.
This happens because we all want to be valued more than we want to be accountable.
And if we're the cause of disappointment, the stakes are greater that we won't be accepted, let alone appreciated for who we are.
So the story goes: "It's not me. It's them."
Yet no one gets it right all the time.
Research of millions of leaders shows that over 80% have blind spots about their skillsets that cost their organization's time, talent, and money.
Eighty flippin' percent.
The same research shows that those who overstate their abilities are 6.2 times more likely to create an internal wreck than those who are self-aware, the first element in emotional intelligence.
So what does this mean?
Your career grows at the speed in which you grow.
Your business grows at the speed in which you grow.
Look, we're all a work in progress, yet to really move the needle in your life, you have to be willing to invest in yourself and be accountable for who you are and how you behave.
This brings me back to my leadership coaching contract with Carlos.
Carlos grew up in South Florida.
By the time he was 13, he and his folks had moved 37 times.
When he first told me that, I thought I heard him wrong.
Growing up, he fought for everything he had. He got involved in more dangerous activities like gun running and selling white powder and had a "come to Jesus" moment where he knew he had to make a change -- or he'd be dead like his two best friends.
Taking a good look in the mirror can rarely be done as a solo venture.
Back then, he sought out a coach he had in little league to steer him in the right direction.
Carlos loved everything cars and decided to open his own detailing service.
He hustled and soon he owned a half dozen car washes along with a concierge service that provided a higher level of service for a handful of celebrity clients.
We met through a mutual friend who introduced us at a business networking luncheon.
When he asked for my business card, I handed him my contact info never expecting to hear from him, as most people who ask for your business card simply add it to their collection.
The next day, my phone rang and it was Carlos. "Leeza Marie, this is Carlos. Can we set up an appointment to talk?"
When we met up for lunch, we had two full hours of interesting dialogue on leadership.
I hadn't a clue why I was there and was enjoying myself.
When coffee came, he leaned back in his chair and asked, "Can I share something personal with you, Leeza Marie?"
Carlos proceeded to tell me how he was struggling with growth.
--> First, he blamed it on the benefit package.
--> Then he blamed it on the hiring process.
--> Then he blamed it on the guys he hired and their attitude.
And now, he was starting to wonder if it wasn't them and whether it may be him.
After sharing for a while, I heard that his business was like a house of cards and it could all come tumbling down at any moment.
He hired me for a six-month contract to come in and work with him directly to create a culture that would allow him to achieve sustainable long-term growth – with ease.
Carlos changed how he invested his time with his team. He learned how to shed some of his machismo and open up in a way that rallied his team and had them step up their service.
And he had a positive effect on the guys he worked with and created an internal mentorship program in partnership with a local community college system.
Blame often shows up when we don't want to take responsibility for situations we've created.
Read that again.
When Carlos saw that his leadership got them where they were and couldn't take them to new heights, he understood he needed to hire a guide to steer him in a new direction, just like he did with his little league coach, and then he was off to the races, growing every quarter.
Today, he's settled down with a family and spends treasured time with his kids who will one day inherit his enterprise.
Our ability to look within, take responsibility, and actively work on ourselves is the key to unlocking our full potential as leaders and individuals.
Facing our shortcomings and admitting when we need help isn't easy, yet it leads to profound transformation—not just for ourselves, but for our teams, businesses, and families.
True leadership isn't about blaming or being right all the time. It’s about having the courage to confront our weaknesses, the wisdom to seek help when necessary, and the dedication to continually evolve.
As you progress on your leadership journey, embrace these principles and see where they lead you.
Remember, the world needs your unique brilliance.
Keep growing, keep learning, and keep leading.
ACTION: The Upside Challenge for this week is to celebrate your unique strengths by creating something meaningful that reflects your inner passions.
Think of a project you've always wanted to start and felt unsure about, like writing a short story, painting a picture, or starting a garden.
Take the first step this week—set aside dedicated time, gather your materials, and begin with enthusiasm and an open heart.
After completing your first step, reflect on the joy and fulfillment it brings you. Share your creation or the experience with others to inspire them to honor their own passions.
