How to Enjoy Deeper Relationships in Your Life

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned over and over again is to LOVE and APPRECIATE people for who they are, not for who I want them to be.

The people in your life will behave in ways that will ANNOY the heck out of you

– and they’ll also do things that you DEEPLY VALUE.

There will be places where you vehemently DISAGREE –

— and places where your ideologies have you travel on the SAME WAVELENGTH.

Every person is a package deal…

You have to be WILLING to deal with the MESSY STUFF in order to ENJOY DEEP RELATIONSHIPS in your life.

I talk about this at my annual Upside Summit in January and this story gives it life.

Years ago I was in a situation that had me at a crossroads with a friend whom I had cared about deeply.

A misunderstanding that led to…

~ Hurt feelings.

~ Disappointment.

~ Anger.

Part of me wanted to distance myself because it was hard to sift through the hurt.

Part of me wanted to run and never speak to them again.

Part of me wanted to lash out and tell them what I really thought about how they had behaved …


As I meditated about the situation, I remembered this person is a package deal, JUST LIKE ME.

A blend of experiences all stuffed into this human body.

We were 2 people who were evolving, working on our “stuffed experiences”, which includes baggage from UNRESOLVED HURT or TRAUMA in our lives who were NOT ALWAYS GOING TO GET IT RIGHT on our individual journeys.

The best leaders understand this.

The situation offered me an opportunity to dive in a little deeper about my own behaviors … and come out STRONGER on the other side.

When this happens today, I’m better able to DISCERN a situation and MOVE PAST the HURT without trying to hurt another.

How about you?

  • Are you able to APPRECIATE people for WHO THEY ARE, rather than trying to GET THEM TO BE WHO YOU WANT THEM TO BE?
  • Are you able to work through the messy stuff, and accept the whole package?

This affects your ability to lead – and to LEAD well.

What’s one thing you will do TODAY to improve this facet of your leadership ability?

See Upside.

Be Upside.

Lead Upside.

ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to identify any places where you’ve gotten stuck on wanting to hurt another, when you’ve been hurt or forgetting to consider the whole person.

Have you done the work to heal yourself? 

What do you need for completion so you can lead “lighter”?

Because the world needs you now more than ever. Go shine your light.

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