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How to Enjoy Deeper Relationships in Your Life
LisaMarie • Nov 08, 2021
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned over and over again is to LOVE and APPRECIATE people for who they are, not for who I want them to be.
The people in your life will behave in ways that will ANNOY the heck out of you
– and they’ll also do things that you DEEPLY VALUE.
There will be places where you vehemently DISAGREE –
— and places where your ideologies have you travel on the SAME WAVELENGTH.
Every person is a package deal…
You have to be WILLING to deal with the MESSY STUFF in order to ENJOY DEEP RELATIONSHIPS in your life.
I talk about this at my annual Upside Summit in January and this story gives it life.
Years ago I was in a situation that had me at a crossroads with a friend whom I had cared about deeply.
A misunderstanding that led to…
~ Hurt feelings.
~ Disappointment.
~ Anger.
Part of me wanted to distance myself because it was hard to sift through the hurt.
Part of me wanted to run and never speak to them again.
Part of me wanted to lash out and tell them what I really thought about how they had behaved …
..because HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE.
As I meditated about the situation, I remembered this person is a package deal, JUST LIKE ME.
A blend of experiences all stuffed into this human body.
We were 2 people who were evolving, working on our “stuffed experiences”, which includes baggage from UNRESOLVED HURT or TRAUMA in our lives who were NOT ALWAYS GOING TO GET IT RIGHT on our individual journeys.
The best leaders understand this.
The situation offered me an opportunity to dive in a little deeper about my own behaviors … and come out STRONGER on the other side.
When this happens today, I’m better able to DISCERN a situation and MOVE PAST the HURT without trying to hurt another.
How about you?
Are you able to APPRECIATE people for WHO THEY ARE, rather than trying to GET THEM TO BE WHO YOU WANT THEM TO BE?
Are you able to work through the messy stuff, and accept the whole package?
This affects your ability to lead – and to LEAD well.
What’s one thing you will do TODAY to improve this facet of your leadership ability?
See Upside.
Be Upside.
Lead Upside.
ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to identify any places where you’ve gotten stuck on wanting to hurt another, when you’ve been hurt or forgetting to consider the whole person.
Have you done the work to heal yourself?
What do you need for completion so you can lead “lighter”?
Because the world needs you now more than ever. Go shine your light.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
25 Apr, 2024
As I wandered the serene paths of the farm, my mind couldn't help but drift to the profound words of Kahlil Gibran in his masterpiece, The Prophet. The soft glow of the moon illuminated the vibrant wisdom echoing through my soul from his lines: "Do not live half a life... and do not die a half death. If you choose silence, then be silent. When you speak, do so until you are finished. If you accept, then express it bluntly. Do not mask it. If you refuse, then be clear about it, for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance. Do not accept half a solution. Do not believe half truths. Do not dream half a dream. Do not fantasize about half hopes. Half the way will get you nowhere. You are a whole that exists to live a life, not half a life." Gibran's words resonate deeply, compelling me to ask myself... ~ What are the ways in which I have been living half a life? ~ Have I truly been using 100% of my gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences? ~ Have I expressed myself fully in all areas of my life? Gibran's wisdom compels us to confront ourselves honestly. We cannot delude ourselves with half-truths or fantasize about half-hopes. To live authentically demands complete commitment - a wholehearted embrace of our purpose and passion. The great poet reminds us that such an approach leads nowhere. We are meant for greatness, to live lives that shake the universe. Each of us carries our own brilliance. When we show up halfway, the world loses apiece of the mosaic it longs for. So let this be your charge - to live with such passion that the world cannot help but be forever changed by your presence. For in the end, that is the greatest measure of a life well-lived. Remember... The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to choose one creative project or expressive outlet and devote concentrated time to it with your full self. Whether it's writing, painting, dancing, singing, building something with your hands - pick a creative pursuit that lights you up. Make it your priority practice. Block off 2-3 hour time chunks to immerse yourself completely in the creative flow without distractions or multitasking. Show up 100% focused and express yourself boldly through this medium. When you naturally start to lose momentum or inspiration, stop and reflect in your journal. What did this experience of whole-hearted creating teach you? How can you apply that energy to other areas of your life? Your brilliance shines through full creative expression.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
22 Apr, 2024
Are you capable of disagreeing without contempt? Very few people truly are. One of the greatest flaws inhibiting great leadership is not being capable of having a civil disagreement. As Utah Governor Spencer Cox stated when he became chair of the National Governors Association, "Our country is deeply divided. We are facing a toxic debate unlike anything that we've seen since the Civil War...we have to find a better way." Cox didn't tell Americans to simply agree with each other. Instead, he acknowledged that healthy debates are "essential to a functioning political system." The critical point he made is that we must learn to disagree with less hostility. The ability to do this boils down to three key factors : Separating Leadership from Title True leaders don't let their position or authority make them think they are above disagreement or criticism. They understand that honest debates and differing perspectives are vital for growth, innovation and credible decision-making. True leadership is a calling, not a title. 2.aMastering Emotional Intelligence The best leaders have mastered this. They don't take criticisms or opposing viewpoints as personal affronts. They can engage debates without getting emotional or lashing out defensively. 3.aRaising the Level of Discourse The greatest leaders understand the vital need for respectful disagreement. They can passionately argue their stance without devolving into contempt for those who disagree. They stay focused on the issues instead of making it an ego battle over who is right or wrong. Through their example, they raise the level of discourse. Now, why are all these so important? Because despite our differences, the world desperately needs each person's unique brilliance and contributions. So take a look at how you handle disagreement and criticism. Do you fight contempt with more contempt? Or can you maintain poise and discuss opposing views rationally and respectfully? If we sat down for just 10 minutes, I could show you what to look for and how to develop this skill yourself. Because at the end of the day, you get to control how you respond when disagreements arise. Always check yourself before you wreck yourself. Control your emotions; don't let them control you. The best leaders get this. Remember... the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to practice disagreeing without contempt. Notice when you find yourself in disagreement with someone - whether a close relation, colleague, public figure, etc. Before reacting, pause and get grounded. Check your emotional state and get in control of your reactions. State your differing view respectfully and try to understand the other perspective. Afterwards, reflect on how well you were able to disagree without devolving into bickering or hostility. What can you learn? Practice this critical skill this week.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
18 Apr, 2024
I talk and write about the pursuit of your mission, purpose, and calling. Most folks feel when this 'shows up', it will come with a marching band, balloons, and a parade of unicorns. Life will somehow become magical from this day forward. Not exactly. Your Calling is: "... an urgent and divine inspiration to accept responsibility to do hard things ." Yep. You heard right. Hard things. That means you've got to train and gear up, and be prepared in all areas of your life so you are strong enough to handle what will come your way. - Physically - Emotionally - Intellectually - Financially - Spiritually - Relationally - Creatively The best way for me to do that is to ~ pause each day, ~ take inventory, and ~ reflect on all I have been given. Enjoy your life... and remember, you are designed for More. And the World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to take one clear action moving you closer to your Divine mission and calling. Take time each day to pause and prepare yourself in all areas of life so you are strong enough to handle what comes your way. As you deliberately prepare yourself, you'll be ready to boldly step into the next chapter of your life. Remember, you are designed for more. And the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
15 Apr, 2024
Most folks don't run out of the gate towards hard things. It's easier to take the path that feels safe, which is why it's called a "comfort zone." Yet, struggle and challenges are what bring the greatest level of personal satisfaction. This is a dilemma for most folks... my clients and myself included. When I began asking myself the question, " What will allow me to be incredibly uncomfortable today? " and running towards that, my life shifted. That doesn't mean I go out of my way to create pain or discomfort. Rather, I push my growth edges understanding their purpose and their value when hard shows up in my life. To do this, I make what matters most to me visible -- something so it's top of mind -- and continue moving towards it. The saying, "out of sight, out of mind" rings true. When you have a physical reminder of what matters most, it serves as a beacon reminding you of who you are and the importance of why you need to shine the light you have inside you brightly. This invitation is to ensure you remain aligned with who you say you are. In my recent prayer time, I heard the Holy Spirit instructing me to "organize my day." Yet this message was not only about putting one task in front of another, but rather the value of me walking the journey of life with intention. You don't have to see all of the steps to get what you want or where you want to go. You do have to identify the first step to take. And then the one after that. When you're clear on the next right thing to do, it's easier to jump into action. Over time, I've discovered that my actions are often messy, and while imperfect action is better than no action at all, I could have avoided some pitfalls along the way. Again, I'm not interested in creating discomfort, but I'm interested in orienting my next steps so that when hard does show up, I'm prepared. Make your list. Start with one action. ~ Write who you are. ~ Write down what you want. ~ Write down why it matters. Leave yourself notes or calendar pings. Remind yourself you can do hard things. Because... the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one "growth edge" area of discomfort that you have been avoiding, and take a small step towards leaning into it. Maybe it's having a difficult conversation, putting yourself out there in a new way, or starting a project you've been procrastinating on. Get specific about what growth opportunity has been lingering in your comfort zone. Once you pinpoint the area, schedule a dedicated 1-hour block this week to take one small, imperfect action towards that uncomfortable growth edge. Repeat this "leaning into discomfort" practice weekly or monthly. The more you make discomfort a chosen ally for growth rather than a threat, the more your brilliance expands. The world needs courageous leaders like you who walk towards their edges.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
25 Apr, 2024
As I wandered the serene paths of the farm, my mind couldn't help but drift to the profound words of Kahlil Gibran in his masterpiece, The Prophet. The soft glow of the moon illuminated the vibrant wisdom echoing through my soul from his lines: "Do not live half a life... and do not die a half death. If you choose silence, then be silent. When you speak, do so until you are finished. If you accept, then express it bluntly. Do not mask it. If you refuse, then be clear about it, for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance. Do not accept half a solution. Do not believe half truths. Do not dream half a dream. Do not fantasize about half hopes. Half the way will get you nowhere. You are a whole that exists to live a life, not half a life." Gibran's words resonate deeply, compelling me to ask myself... ~ What are the ways in which I have been living half a life? ~ Have I truly been using 100% of my gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences? ~ Have I expressed myself fully in all areas of my life? Gibran's wisdom compels us to confront ourselves honestly. We cannot delude ourselves with half-truths or fantasize about half-hopes. To live authentically demands complete commitment - a wholehearted embrace of our purpose and passion. The great poet reminds us that such an approach leads nowhere. We are meant for greatness, to live lives that shake the universe. Each of us carries our own brilliance. When we show up halfway, the world loses apiece of the mosaic it longs for. So let this be your charge - to live with such passion that the world cannot help but be forever changed by your presence. For in the end, that is the greatest measure of a life well-lived. Remember... The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to choose one creative project or expressive outlet and devote concentrated time to it with your full self. Whether it's writing, painting, dancing, singing, building something with your hands - pick a creative pursuit that lights you up. Make it your priority practice. Block off 2-3 hour time chunks to immerse yourself completely in the creative flow without distractions or multitasking. Show up 100% focused and express yourself boldly through this medium. When you naturally start to lose momentum or inspiration, stop and reflect in your journal. What did this experience of whole-hearted creating teach you? How can you apply that energy to other areas of your life? Your brilliance shines through full creative expression.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
22 Apr, 2024
Are you capable of disagreeing without contempt? Very few people truly are. One of the greatest flaws inhibiting great leadership is not being capable of having a civil disagreement. As Utah Governor Spencer Cox stated when he became chair of the National Governors Association, "Our country is deeply divided. We are facing a toxic debate unlike anything that we've seen since the Civil War...we have to find a better way." Cox didn't tell Americans to simply agree with each other. Instead, he acknowledged that healthy debates are "essential to a functioning political system." The critical point he made is that we must learn to disagree with less hostility. The ability to do this boils down to three key factors : Separating Leadership from Title True leaders don't let their position or authority make them think they are above disagreement or criticism. They understand that honest debates and differing perspectives are vital for growth, innovation and credible decision-making. True leadership is a calling, not a title. 2.aMastering Emotional Intelligence The best leaders have mastered this. They don't take criticisms or opposing viewpoints as personal affronts. They can engage debates without getting emotional or lashing out defensively. 3.aRaising the Level of Discourse The greatest leaders understand the vital need for respectful disagreement. They can passionately argue their stance without devolving into contempt for those who disagree. They stay focused on the issues instead of making it an ego battle over who is right or wrong. Through their example, they raise the level of discourse. Now, why are all these so important? Because despite our differences, the world desperately needs each person's unique brilliance and contributions. So take a look at how you handle disagreement and criticism. Do you fight contempt with more contempt? Or can you maintain poise and discuss opposing views rationally and respectfully? If we sat down for just 10 minutes, I could show you what to look for and how to develop this skill yourself. Because at the end of the day, you get to control how you respond when disagreements arise. Always check yourself before you wreck yourself. Control your emotions; don't let them control you. The best leaders get this. Remember... the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to practice disagreeing without contempt. Notice when you find yourself in disagreement with someone - whether a close relation, colleague, public figure, etc. Before reacting, pause and get grounded. Check your emotional state and get in control of your reactions. State your differing view respectfully and try to understand the other perspective. Afterwards, reflect on how well you were able to disagree without devolving into bickering or hostility. What can you learn? Practice this critical skill this week.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
18 Apr, 2024
I talk and write about the pursuit of your mission, purpose, and calling. Most folks feel when this 'shows up', it will come with a marching band, balloons, and a parade of unicorns. Life will somehow become magical from this day forward. Not exactly. Your Calling is: "... an urgent and divine inspiration to accept responsibility to do hard things ." Yep. You heard right. Hard things. That means you've got to train and gear up, and be prepared in all areas of your life so you are strong enough to handle what will come your way. - Physically - Emotionally - Intellectually - Financially - Spiritually - Relationally - Creatively The best way for me to do that is to ~ pause each day, ~ take inventory, and ~ reflect on all I have been given. Enjoy your life... and remember, you are designed for More. And the World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to take one clear action moving you closer to your Divine mission and calling. Take time each day to pause and prepare yourself in all areas of life so you are strong enough to handle what comes your way. As you deliberately prepare yourself, you'll be ready to boldly step into the next chapter of your life. Remember, you are designed for more. And the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
15 Apr, 2024
Most folks don't run out of the gate towards hard things. It's easier to take the path that feels safe, which is why it's called a "comfort zone." Yet, struggle and challenges are what bring the greatest level of personal satisfaction. This is a dilemma for most folks... my clients and myself included. When I began asking myself the question, " What will allow me to be incredibly uncomfortable today? " and running towards that, my life shifted. That doesn't mean I go out of my way to create pain or discomfort. Rather, I push my growth edges understanding their purpose and their value when hard shows up in my life. To do this, I make what matters most to me visible -- something so it's top of mind -- and continue moving towards it. The saying, "out of sight, out of mind" rings true. When you have a physical reminder of what matters most, it serves as a beacon reminding you of who you are and the importance of why you need to shine the light you have inside you brightly. This invitation is to ensure you remain aligned with who you say you are. In my recent prayer time, I heard the Holy Spirit instructing me to "organize my day." Yet this message was not only about putting one task in front of another, but rather the value of me walking the journey of life with intention. You don't have to see all of the steps to get what you want or where you want to go. You do have to identify the first step to take. And then the one after that. When you're clear on the next right thing to do, it's easier to jump into action. Over time, I've discovered that my actions are often messy, and while imperfect action is better than no action at all, I could have avoided some pitfalls along the way. Again, I'm not interested in creating discomfort, but I'm interested in orienting my next steps so that when hard does show up, I'm prepared. Make your list. Start with one action. ~ Write who you are. ~ Write down what you want. ~ Write down why it matters. Leave yourself notes or calendar pings. Remind yourself you can do hard things. Because... the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one "growth edge" area of discomfort that you have been avoiding, and take a small step towards leaning into it. Maybe it's having a difficult conversation, putting yourself out there in a new way, or starting a project you've been procrastinating on. Get specific about what growth opportunity has been lingering in your comfort zone. Once you pinpoint the area, schedule a dedicated 1-hour block this week to take one small, imperfect action towards that uncomfortable growth edge. Repeat this "leaning into discomfort" practice weekly or monthly. The more you make discomfort a chosen ally for growth rather than a threat, the more your brilliance expands. The world needs courageous leaders like you who walk towards their edges.
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