How to Be Your Own Best Advocate
LisaMarie • October 4, 2021
In your workplace or business have you ever tried harder than ever to “make it work” only to keep re-living and trudging through the same situation over and over?
We can encounter these moments both personally and professionally, where it feels like the same day on repeat. (Like the movie, Groundhog Day)
Unfortunately, it’s all too common.
So, what can you do about it?
By being aware of the repeated pattern and your role in it, you’re on the road to a solution.
The thinking and actions that got you into that pattern are typically not going to get you out of it.
Interestingly, it can be even harder if you are an achiever with high standards and a high level of personal responsibility. (Responsibility is one of my core values)
If you’re the kind of person who is uber self-reliant, takes charge of a situation and works doggedly to fix it… often “alone”, that’s wonderful.
Until it isn’t.
Let me share the experience of a client of mine. She has a background in Information Technology.
She started decades ago before computers could be held in your hands or put on top of your desk.
She worked at a place that spoke about commitments to growth, healthy work culture, advancements based on merit and excellence.
After a few years, she noticed that unhealthy behaviors were tolerated, and at times, celebrated.
She kept quiet at first, then began to try to make changes.
She shared with a woman on the team and was told she was being “too sensitive” when she called out the behaviors.
Kind and compassionate by nature, she thought, she needed to change who she was.
Toughen up.
Try harder.
She was so committed to trying to make it better that she also began ignoring how tired and depressed she was.
She pushed harder.
She tried everything – from working 16-hours to get noticed, to introducing new projects, to speaking up about the discrepancies in expectations.
She saw bullying and verbal abuse was kept hidden and created a dysfunctional dynamic in the office.
While she confronted the leadership of the team, nothing was ever done.
Finally, being a courageous leader and willing to risk the right thing for herself, she became her own advocate and created a new opportunity.
She left the toxic environment and is in an excellent new job where her skills and sensitivity, and high standards are appreciated.
The commitment to a healthy work culture is not just something people talk about; it’s lived every day.
What can we learn from her and her experience?
~She took time to figure out if she was reading the situation correctly about the toxicity of her previous job situation.
~She tried taking actions to effect change.
~When those actions produced no change, she understood that she needed to do something different.
~She learned that in some cases, trying harder isn’t the solution.
~She was suffering and understood she couldn’t continue this way.
~When she understood the causes and situation were truly outside of her control, it wasn’t healthy to try to “fix”—herself or others. She recognized there was no willingness or invitation to change on the part of the company or individuals.
~She made choices for herself where she did have control. She became an advocate for herself, including asking for help. She put effort into taking actions for her highest and best good.
~She found a new job where she is appreciated and flourishing, and the organization is reaping the benefits of her talents, sensitivity, high standards, and expertise.
~She changed her world.
That’s how you do it.
That’s how we do it.
ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice if you have a chronic complaint or if you are suffering/enduring a situation.
Are you trying to fix something that isn’t under your control?
Explore what can you do (that IS under your control) to change what you are experiencing.
If you can’t see what to do or how, reach out to a coach or someone who may have insights or observations. Because… the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 17, 2025
Leadership requires consciousness and courage. Lots of folks have talent. Yet, it's rare to see a leader with 360-degree awareness who has the courage to stand in the dark places where leadership is often required to go. This is why for years I've shouted from the rooftops that comfort doesn't change the world. (I even have a shirt in the Upside store that has it printed on the back.) Because no matter how many gifts you've been given, or how much raw talent you possess, you can't erase the struggles of the human experience. You can numb. You can follow. Or, you can choose to step up and lead. And doing the latter is the hardest. All day long I'd much rather have all of the autonomy with little to no responsibility. Yet I understand to do that is copping out on the full usage of my divine gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. I was built to lead. And that means being responsible ... when things go right, and when they don't. Over the years, I've numbed out on mindless TV shows, and unhealthy fast food only to get me further off-course from my divine mission and purpose. Gaining weight and feeling tired were just symptoms of an unhealthy system, and a socially acceptable way to numb. Leadership takes strength and discipline that are rooted in consciousness and courage. Because most folks don't want to be accountable at that level, they'll opt out and choose to follow someone else's lead. That's never been my style. I've learned more from going through hard times than I ever did sitting on Easy Street. The best piece is that you get to choose for yourself. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one thing the future you, the one fully walking in your divine assignment, would do. You already know what it is, that nudge you’ve been feeling. That quiet pull from God asking you to move. Maybe it’s making the call, saying no, saying yes, clearing space to think, or finally following through on what you said mattered. Whatever it is, stop numbing around it. Take the step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 10, 2025
Every so often, I read something that inspires me to be better. After a month of giving to clients at two retreats and working privately with a client through a one-on-one VIP leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm, this story touches me in a very deep way. Sometimes folks ask me if it's possible to overgive. This story answers that question beautifully. "I asked the leaf whether it was frightened because it was autumn and the other leaves were falling. The leaf told me, "No. During the whole spring and summer, I was completely alive. I worked hard to help nourish the tree, and now much of me is in the tree. I am not limited by this form. I am also the whole tree, and when I go back to the soil, I will continue to nourish the tree. So I don’t worry at all. As I leave this branch and float to the ground, I will wave to the tree and tell her, 'I will see you again very soon'." That day, there was a wind blowing and, after a while, I saw the leaf leave the branch and float down to the soil, dancing joyfully, because as it floated it saw itself already there in the tree. It was so happy. I bowed my head, knowing that I have a lot to learn from the leaf." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh Reading that story reminded me of the leaders I encounter. The ones who give deeply, love fiercely, and show up fully, even when no one’s watching. You may not always see the impact you’re having. You may wonder if it’s too much, or if it even matters. What I know to be true is... Nothing is ever wasted. ~ Every act of service… ~ Every moment of generosity… ~ Every time you choose love over fear… ... It all lives on. Just like the leaf, your presence remains long after the moment passes. What you’ve built and what you’ve become—it stays on. So if you’ve been wondering whether it’s okay to rest, to pause, to let go… It is. Because your leadership is already rooted in what you've poured yourself into. This is the holy space between what was and what’s next. And you, leader, are right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to write one truth you know about leadership or legacy on a sticky note or card. Make it simple and true for you. Maybe it’s… “My presence changes the room.” “I was created to lead with love.” “What I build matters.” And then place it somewhere you’ll see it—your mirror, your journal, the dashboard of your car. Let it meet you in the in-between moments. And let it serve as a reminder of who you are.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 3, 2025
For years, Valentine’s Day has been my 2nd favorite holiday after Thanksgiving. Every year, I notice people talking about love and being loving, equating it to what they got from their partner. One year, I wrote a post where I joked around about asking Jim for toilets — which was true. And some folks were horrified. Valentine's Day hasn't been one of my favorite holidays for 4 decades because of the gifts I've received, although I have gotten some spectacular ones. Rather, Valentine's Day offers folks a reminder to see through the lens of love, no matter where they're at or what they're experiencing. LOVE is the vibration I want to operate on 365 days throughout the year. It’s how I want to be REMEMBERED. In a few days, Jim and I will celebrate 21 years of marriage. Yes, 21 years. That kind of time gives you a deeper understanding of what love really is. And it’s not always grand or visible. Being loving and kind isn’t hard to do. And it's not easy, either. It does require intentional choice in every circumstance and situation. Once you set your mind that’s who you want to be, you’ll see opportunities to be loving and kind all day long. Researchers have discovered that you also get what’s called the ‘helper’s high’ when you operate this way… …because acts of altruism trigger the same endorphins as a ‘runner’s high.' What does this look like? Smile. At people you’ve never met. Hold the door open for a stranger. Give BIG hugs to the people you care about most. Say “please” – and say “thank you”. You’d be surprised at how few people actually do. Surprise a friend with a phone call or a gift of appreciation … for no reason other than they were on your mind. Give back and volunteer your time at a colleague’s event, local animal shelter, or soup kitchen. (Yes, they still have those.) Pay for someone’s cup of coffee at the drive-thru or the person standing behind you in line at Starbucks. When I lived in New Jersey, I used to pay for people’s tolls before EZPass came along and took away the fun of it. Go through your closet and donate the clothing you still love, yet haven’t worn in a long time. Look for opportunities to pay someone a compliment – and then do it. You just may make their day. Text or call a loved one just to say, “I’m thinking about you…” Bring your neighbors flowers. Loving-kindness is just a way of being. You don’t need a special day or any holiday for LOVE to show up. And the best leaders get this. So if you want to be the kind of leader who leaves a legacy... Start there. Lead with love. Even when no one’s watching. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice one unseen act of loving-kindness. Choose one person in your world — a colleague, neighbor, team member, or friend — and do something kind without telling them it was you. It can be a handwritten note, a small gift, a thoughtful gesture, or an act of service. Then notice how it shifts you — because powerful leadership begins in the places no one else sees.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 27, 2025
When I was 6 years old, I understood there was something powerful for me to do on the planet. A mission that was bigger than me. Bigger than I could comprehend. And I get that sounds crazy as I was simultaneously learning how to count, and add 4 + 6 to come up with 10. What I can tell you that I'm clear about is that despite that inner knowing, I floundered over the years trying to figure out how I could really step into this Calling. How could this possibly be mine to do?!? From hiding it, burying it, and avoiding it, it seemed I kept running away from what I knew was mine to do in the world. There is a shift that happens in a person’s life when they realize it’s time to step up and become the leader they are destined to be. ~ To make an impact ~ To be a force for good on the planet ~ To step into their Calling See, God doesn't give folks little missions. They're all big and designed for exactly how you're wired. For me, it started with a grand vision as a little girl. For others, it may reveal itself over time, perhaps after decades of transformational experiences. Your mission matters—and the world needs you and your brilliance. So, regardless of whether you are on your journey, it’s time to look at leadership from this lens vs. that of job positions and titles. Now’s the moment to stop questioning whether it’s yours. It is. And the next step is yours to take. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to sit down and ask yourself: What’s one thing I keep feeling called to do yet I haven’t acted on? Name it and just write it down. Then decide how you’ll honor it in the next 48 hours. Take one clear, intentional step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 17, 2025
Leadership requires consciousness and courage. Lots of folks have talent. Yet, it's rare to see a leader with 360-degree awareness who has the courage to stand in the dark places where leadership is often required to go. This is why for years I've shouted from the rooftops that comfort doesn't change the world. (I even have a shirt in the Upside store that has it printed on the back.) Because no matter how many gifts you've been given, or how much raw talent you possess, you can't erase the struggles of the human experience. You can numb. You can follow. Or, you can choose to step up and lead. And doing the latter is the hardest. All day long I'd much rather have all of the autonomy with little to no responsibility. Yet I understand to do that is copping out on the full usage of my divine gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. I was built to lead. And that means being responsible ... when things go right, and when they don't. Over the years, I've numbed out on mindless TV shows, and unhealthy fast food only to get me further off-course from my divine mission and purpose. Gaining weight and feeling tired were just symptoms of an unhealthy system, and a socially acceptable way to numb. Leadership takes strength and discipline that are rooted in consciousness and courage. Because most folks don't want to be accountable at that level, they'll opt out and choose to follow someone else's lead. That's never been my style. I've learned more from going through hard times than I ever did sitting on Easy Street. The best piece is that you get to choose for yourself. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one thing the future you, the one fully walking in your divine assignment, would do. You already know what it is, that nudge you’ve been feeling. That quiet pull from God asking you to move. Maybe it’s making the call, saying no, saying yes, clearing space to think, or finally following through on what you said mattered. Whatever it is, stop numbing around it. Take the step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 10, 2025
Every so often, I read something that inspires me to be better. After a month of giving to clients at two retreats and working privately with a client through a one-on-one VIP leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm, this story touches me in a very deep way. Sometimes folks ask me if it's possible to overgive. This story answers that question beautifully. "I asked the leaf whether it was frightened because it was autumn and the other leaves were falling. The leaf told me, "No. During the whole spring and summer, I was completely alive. I worked hard to help nourish the tree, and now much of me is in the tree. I am not limited by this form. I am also the whole tree, and when I go back to the soil, I will continue to nourish the tree. So I don’t worry at all. As I leave this branch and float to the ground, I will wave to the tree and tell her, 'I will see you again very soon'." That day, there was a wind blowing and, after a while, I saw the leaf leave the branch and float down to the soil, dancing joyfully, because as it floated it saw itself already there in the tree. It was so happy. I bowed my head, knowing that I have a lot to learn from the leaf." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh Reading that story reminded me of the leaders I encounter. The ones who give deeply, love fiercely, and show up fully, even when no one’s watching. You may not always see the impact you’re having. You may wonder if it’s too much, or if it even matters. What I know to be true is... Nothing is ever wasted. ~ Every act of service… ~ Every moment of generosity… ~ Every time you choose love over fear… ... It all lives on. Just like the leaf, your presence remains long after the moment passes. What you’ve built and what you’ve become—it stays on. So if you’ve been wondering whether it’s okay to rest, to pause, to let go… It is. Because your leadership is already rooted in what you've poured yourself into. This is the holy space between what was and what’s next. And you, leader, are right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to write one truth you know about leadership or legacy on a sticky note or card. Make it simple and true for you. Maybe it’s… “My presence changes the room.” “I was created to lead with love.” “What I build matters.” And then place it somewhere you’ll see it—your mirror, your journal, the dashboard of your car. Let it meet you in the in-between moments. And let it serve as a reminder of who you are.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 3, 2025
For years, Valentine’s Day has been my 2nd favorite holiday after Thanksgiving. Every year, I notice people talking about love and being loving, equating it to what they got from their partner. One year, I wrote a post where I joked around about asking Jim for toilets — which was true. And some folks were horrified. Valentine's Day hasn't been one of my favorite holidays for 4 decades because of the gifts I've received, although I have gotten some spectacular ones. Rather, Valentine's Day offers folks a reminder to see through the lens of love, no matter where they're at or what they're experiencing. LOVE is the vibration I want to operate on 365 days throughout the year. It’s how I want to be REMEMBERED. In a few days, Jim and I will celebrate 21 years of marriage. Yes, 21 years. That kind of time gives you a deeper understanding of what love really is. And it’s not always grand or visible. Being loving and kind isn’t hard to do. And it's not easy, either. It does require intentional choice in every circumstance and situation. Once you set your mind that’s who you want to be, you’ll see opportunities to be loving and kind all day long. Researchers have discovered that you also get what’s called the ‘helper’s high’ when you operate this way… …because acts of altruism trigger the same endorphins as a ‘runner’s high.' What does this look like? Smile. At people you’ve never met. Hold the door open for a stranger. Give BIG hugs to the people you care about most. Say “please” – and say “thank you”. You’d be surprised at how few people actually do. Surprise a friend with a phone call or a gift of appreciation … for no reason other than they were on your mind. Give back and volunteer your time at a colleague’s event, local animal shelter, or soup kitchen. (Yes, they still have those.) Pay for someone’s cup of coffee at the drive-thru or the person standing behind you in line at Starbucks. When I lived in New Jersey, I used to pay for people’s tolls before EZPass came along and took away the fun of it. Go through your closet and donate the clothing you still love, yet haven’t worn in a long time. Look for opportunities to pay someone a compliment – and then do it. You just may make their day. Text or call a loved one just to say, “I’m thinking about you…” Bring your neighbors flowers. Loving-kindness is just a way of being. You don’t need a special day or any holiday for LOVE to show up. And the best leaders get this. So if you want to be the kind of leader who leaves a legacy... Start there. Lead with love. Even when no one’s watching. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice one unseen act of loving-kindness. Choose one person in your world — a colleague, neighbor, team member, or friend — and do something kind without telling them it was you. It can be a handwritten note, a small gift, a thoughtful gesture, or an act of service. Then notice how it shifts you — because powerful leadership begins in the places no one else sees.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 27, 2025
When I was 6 years old, I understood there was something powerful for me to do on the planet. A mission that was bigger than me. Bigger than I could comprehend. And I get that sounds crazy as I was simultaneously learning how to count, and add 4 + 6 to come up with 10. What I can tell you that I'm clear about is that despite that inner knowing, I floundered over the years trying to figure out how I could really step into this Calling. How could this possibly be mine to do?!? From hiding it, burying it, and avoiding it, it seemed I kept running away from what I knew was mine to do in the world. There is a shift that happens in a person’s life when they realize it’s time to step up and become the leader they are destined to be. ~ To make an impact ~ To be a force for good on the planet ~ To step into their Calling See, God doesn't give folks little missions. They're all big and designed for exactly how you're wired. For me, it started with a grand vision as a little girl. For others, it may reveal itself over time, perhaps after decades of transformational experiences. Your mission matters—and the world needs you and your brilliance. So, regardless of whether you are on your journey, it’s time to look at leadership from this lens vs. that of job positions and titles. Now’s the moment to stop questioning whether it’s yours. It is. And the next step is yours to take. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to sit down and ask yourself: What’s one thing I keep feeling called to do yet I haven’t acted on? Name it and just write it down. Then decide how you’ll honor it in the next 48 hours. Take one clear, intentional step.
