Do You Have What It Takes to Make Real Connections?

LisaMarie • May 31, 2021


Did you know that you can get what you want up to ten (10) times faster and easier when you partner with other people?!?


Connection is the business equivalent to using a lever in physics. With less effort you achieve bigger results.


Do you remember “old” way of networking where you recited your 30-second pitch? It no longer works. 


Actually, I’m not sure I ever used it. I’m not sure it ever really worked for anyone.


It’s overwhelming to receive and ironically excludes the other person/people. It’s talking to or at them rather than with them.


The single characteristic shared by all of the successful people I’ve met in my lifetime is their ability to connect and authentically build powerful partnerships from their connections.


These aren’t formal partnerships; they are connections that lead to opportunities, influence, and income – and I teach this in-depth on day #2 at Design Your Destiny Live.


You can’t leverage a connection that isn’t built on a strong foundation.


So, how do you create a strong foundation?


It’s really simple.


Ask great questions – and be genuinely interested in the answers.


When you ask great questions, you’re curious about the person in front of you.


You get to connect human to human, not business opportunity to business opportunity. 


You show interest and appreciation for their – their challenges and successes, the effort and learning along their journey to where they are now.


So, what is a great question? One that allows them to disclose elements of who they are and how they operate.


How did you get started in your industry?

What is your mission and long-term vision?

What has had the greatest influence on your life?

Most people are taught to connect in order to get a sale, not for the humanity of connecting.


They “mine” their connections, selling to them vs. through them. Or mining them for something. 


What if you were to connect deeply first – and then discover what bigger opportunities were for the two of you over time?


This may seem difficult when you’ve hit a dry spell and “need” that next client or opportunity.


You may feel an urgency, compelling you to “push” or have something in hand by the time you finish a conversation.


On my journey, I’ve learned I’m not just interested in closing deals. I want to open relationships. I want to be interested about the person I’ve met rather than in what they can do for me.


It feels better for both of us. 


A relationship is a long-term investment rather than a short term goal.


So, what questions “should” you ask?


Ones that you would genuinely be interested in hearing the answer. Be curious! The person in front of you is a collection of amazing adventures, thoughts, and experiences. And, they’d probably be delighted to share them. They just might appreciate some invitations. J


When you create a dialogue that is genuine, it is its own unique creation. Two different people engaging – listening, talking, being heard. Doesn’t that sound a lot more fun than spitting out or receiving an elevator pitch?


ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to spend 10 minutes every day on the phone connecting with someone from your industry. That’s it!


Make real connections – and deepen existing ones.


The world needs you and your brilliance.

By Lisa Marie Platske February 2, 2026
You have been hard-wired for greatness so stop trying so hard to be something other than who you are. I see it all the time. Folks who tie themselves into knots, seeking the approval of others. Oh, it's not conscious. Most leaders would tell you that they're comfortable being their own boss, in charge of their time. Behind closed doors, many of them have told me something different. And that's because conflict, being misunderstood, and being vilified are pretty crummy. Most folks want to be liked. They want to be valued and appreciated for the effort they've put in. Your greatest gift to the planet is to be fully, completely, and unapologetically who you are. Doing that may come with some pretty harsh consequences ... which is why most leaders are willing to sell out. The thing that isn't always self-evident about compromising your values and beliefs is that every night you're stuck with you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror. You are the only one who understands the choices you've made—right, wrong, or indifferent. When the day is done, the truth always meets you in the quiet. It asks whether you stood in integrity or traded pieces of yourself to keep the peace. Leadership requires decisions that don’t win applause. It often asks you to hold your ground when others want you to bend. Living aligned with who you are may cost you approval or relationships. Yet, it will never cost you your soul. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to name a decision you’ve been avoiding because it feels risky or uncomfortable. It could be ending a partnership that no longer serves your vision, raising the standards for a client, or closing a door that keeps you from your calling. Take one bold, aligned action this week that honors your integrity and the leader you were created to be.
By Lisa Marie Platske January 26, 2026
"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." ~ Helen Keller Purpose. The dictionary definition is, " the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. " You were put on the planet for a reason ... a purpose. And, part of the joy of the journey is to be in the discovery and fulfillment of that divine purpose . Perhaps that's why Helen Keller said what she said. Too often, folks get sidetracked by fame and fortune, or comfort and easy. While they each have their allure, they will never bring you happiness. True happiness comes from meaning. Over the decades, there have been countless subjects and research projects on the topic of happiness. The results of all of them have pointed back to this truth. When I think about the leaders that I've had the privilege of working with, the ones that were the happiest weren't the ones that had situations that were easy. Actually, life came down pretty hard on some of them and they were in peril. While they came to me seeking answers about how to right the ship, the journey rarely involved signing a multi-million dollar deal that got them to happiness island. It was the ability to peel away each layer of their circumstances and see it through the lens of their divine mission and purpose. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice where your influence thrive. At times, we can lose sight of what truly matters. So today, observe the work, conversations, and moments where you naturally make a difference. Do more of those things, even in small ways. Your purpose is revealed in the places where your leadership produces impact and meaning.
By Lisa Marie Platske January 19, 2026
Choice. Direction. Commitment. Consistent Action. Rinse and repeat. If you do this, a lot can change in a year. There was a season where most folks in my industry started cutting back—and I did the opposite. I doubled down on the number of hours I was investing in my business. I created new programming for my live events, and I hired 4 new people. At the time, I also chose to invest in myself and upped my personal commitment to excellence in every area of my life, getting up early and doing the work physically, mentally, intellectually, spiritually, financially, relationally, and creatively. My business expanded, my relationships grew stronger, and at the time, I released 18 pounds. See, most people are more committed to fixing what isn’t working that they can’t see what is working. They stop being grateful for what's right in front of them . They stop being able to see the miracles that are happening in front of their eyes. I recently had a private leadership retreat day with a guy who said, "If miracles were happening in my life, I'd certainly see them." He said it with conviction, bravado, and a tiny bit of arrogance. I called him on it and pointed out three things that were miracles in the making that had just happened in his life. When you focus solely on the problem, you always lose. Over the past year, when people were wondering what they were going to do over the weekend, I was thinking about this moment. Right here and right now. Today, I’m mapping out what’s going to happen over the next 12 – 24 months in my business—all while staying rooted in the here and now. Commit to excellence and your life will change. You will turn possibilities into realities. I’m a living proof. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to look at where you’ve been relying on experience instead of intention. Leaders sometimes can easily coast on what’s worked before, forgetting that excellence requires evolution. Identify one area where you’ve been leading on autopilot. It could be a system, relationship, or habit that could be sharper, more aligned, or more alive. Then refine it. Because you’re committed to mastery.
By Lisa Marie Platske January 12, 2026
No matter how happy someone may seem, they have moments when they question if they can go on. And no matter how strong someone may appear, they have days when they feel like they're falling apart. That's one of the most confusing aspects of leadership. See, most leaders feel that because they're the one at the helm steering the ship, they should have it together and be "on" 24x7. And that's unrealistic. Yet that belief has caused many leaders to sink their ship because of the inability to reach out and ask for help. No one can go it alone. Every leader needs someone to lean on. Phrases like "Only the strong survive." and "You gotta just 'man' up." do more damage than good. I learned this when I was working in Federal law enforcement and 9/11 hit. The superhuman requests to work hours that pushed the body to the limits were a recipe for certain disaster. Men and women who may have needed someone to talk to themselves to process their grief were thrust into the grim reality that they were needed more than ever—and needed to be stronger than they knew how to do. One of the NYPD beat cops that I had befriended was in the middle of a shift when he had a full-blown meltdown on 5th Avenue in New York City six months after 9/11. The walk of leadership never has been—and never will be—a solo affair. You need other folks around you that you can trust and rely on in good times and not-so-good times. And I'm not talking about a friend, spouse, or family member. I'm talking about a trusted advisor with whom you can turn matter what is working or on fire. Because every leader deserves a space to be real, to be guided, and to be reminded of the truth of who they are . The kind of space I’ve devoted my life to creating for those called to lead from purpose. And when leaders have that kind of support, the moments that once felt too heavy begin to make sense. They find the strength to keep going because they’re no longer doing it on their own. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to think and name one person who you can turn to when leadership feels heavy. Reach out to one of them this week. Tell the truth about where you are. Because even leaders need a place to lean.
More Posts
By Lisa Marie Platske February 2, 2026
You have been hard-wired for greatness so stop trying so hard to be something other than who you are. I see it all the time. Folks who tie themselves into knots, seeking the approval of others. Oh, it's not conscious. Most leaders would tell you that they're comfortable being their own boss, in charge of their time. Behind closed doors, many of them have told me something different. And that's because conflict, being misunderstood, and being vilified are pretty crummy. Most folks want to be liked. They want to be valued and appreciated for the effort they've put in. Your greatest gift to the planet is to be fully, completely, and unapologetically who you are. Doing that may come with some pretty harsh consequences ... which is why most leaders are willing to sell out. The thing that isn't always self-evident about compromising your values and beliefs is that every night you're stuck with you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror. You are the only one who understands the choices you've made—right, wrong, or indifferent. When the day is done, the truth always meets you in the quiet. It asks whether you stood in integrity or traded pieces of yourself to keep the peace. Leadership requires decisions that don’t win applause. It often asks you to hold your ground when others want you to bend. Living aligned with who you are may cost you approval or relationships. Yet, it will never cost you your soul. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to name a decision you’ve been avoiding because it feels risky or uncomfortable. It could be ending a partnership that no longer serves your vision, raising the standards for a client, or closing a door that keeps you from your calling. Take one bold, aligned action this week that honors your integrity and the leader you were created to be.
By Lisa Marie Platske January 26, 2026
"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." ~ Helen Keller Purpose. The dictionary definition is, " the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. " You were put on the planet for a reason ... a purpose. And, part of the joy of the journey is to be in the discovery and fulfillment of that divine purpose . Perhaps that's why Helen Keller said what she said. Too often, folks get sidetracked by fame and fortune, or comfort and easy. While they each have their allure, they will never bring you happiness. True happiness comes from meaning. Over the decades, there have been countless subjects and research projects on the topic of happiness. The results of all of them have pointed back to this truth. When I think about the leaders that I've had the privilege of working with, the ones that were the happiest weren't the ones that had situations that were easy. Actually, life came down pretty hard on some of them and they were in peril. While they came to me seeking answers about how to right the ship, the journey rarely involved signing a multi-million dollar deal that got them to happiness island. It was the ability to peel away each layer of their circumstances and see it through the lens of their divine mission and purpose. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice where your influence thrive. At times, we can lose sight of what truly matters. So today, observe the work, conversations, and moments where you naturally make a difference. Do more of those things, even in small ways. Your purpose is revealed in the places where your leadership produces impact and meaning.
By Lisa Marie Platske January 19, 2026
Choice. Direction. Commitment. Consistent Action. Rinse and repeat. If you do this, a lot can change in a year. There was a season where most folks in my industry started cutting back—and I did the opposite. I doubled down on the number of hours I was investing in my business. I created new programming for my live events, and I hired 4 new people. At the time, I also chose to invest in myself and upped my personal commitment to excellence in every area of my life, getting up early and doing the work physically, mentally, intellectually, spiritually, financially, relationally, and creatively. My business expanded, my relationships grew stronger, and at the time, I released 18 pounds. See, most people are more committed to fixing what isn’t working that they can’t see what is working. They stop being grateful for what's right in front of them . They stop being able to see the miracles that are happening in front of their eyes. I recently had a private leadership retreat day with a guy who said, "If miracles were happening in my life, I'd certainly see them." He said it with conviction, bravado, and a tiny bit of arrogance. I called him on it and pointed out three things that were miracles in the making that had just happened in his life. When you focus solely on the problem, you always lose. Over the past year, when people were wondering what they were going to do over the weekend, I was thinking about this moment. Right here and right now. Today, I’m mapping out what’s going to happen over the next 12 – 24 months in my business—all while staying rooted in the here and now. Commit to excellence and your life will change. You will turn possibilities into realities. I’m a living proof. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to look at where you’ve been relying on experience instead of intention. Leaders sometimes can easily coast on what’s worked before, forgetting that excellence requires evolution. Identify one area where you’ve been leading on autopilot. It could be a system, relationship, or habit that could be sharper, more aligned, or more alive. Then refine it. Because you’re committed to mastery.
By Lisa Marie Platske January 12, 2026
No matter how happy someone may seem, they have moments when they question if they can go on. And no matter how strong someone may appear, they have days when they feel like they're falling apart. That's one of the most confusing aspects of leadership. See, most leaders feel that because they're the one at the helm steering the ship, they should have it together and be "on" 24x7. And that's unrealistic. Yet that belief has caused many leaders to sink their ship because of the inability to reach out and ask for help. No one can go it alone. Every leader needs someone to lean on. Phrases like "Only the strong survive." and "You gotta just 'man' up." do more damage than good. I learned this when I was working in Federal law enforcement and 9/11 hit. The superhuman requests to work hours that pushed the body to the limits were a recipe for certain disaster. Men and women who may have needed someone to talk to themselves to process their grief were thrust into the grim reality that they were needed more than ever—and needed to be stronger than they knew how to do. One of the NYPD beat cops that I had befriended was in the middle of a shift when he had a full-blown meltdown on 5th Avenue in New York City six months after 9/11. The walk of leadership never has been—and never will be—a solo affair. You need other folks around you that you can trust and rely on in good times and not-so-good times. And I'm not talking about a friend, spouse, or family member. I'm talking about a trusted advisor with whom you can turn matter what is working or on fire. Because every leader deserves a space to be real, to be guided, and to be reminded of the truth of who they are . The kind of space I’ve devoted my life to creating for those called to lead from purpose. And when leaders have that kind of support, the moments that once felt too heavy begin to make sense. They find the strength to keep going because they’re no longer doing it on their own. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to think and name one person who you can turn to when leadership feels heavy. Reach out to one of them this week. Tell the truth about where you are. Because even leaders need a place to lean.
More Posts