Do You Have an Emotional Regulation Strategy?

LisaMarie • February 15, 2021


While I’m a leadership coach, I want a client’s entire life to be filled with ease, not just their career or business life. 


This means being aware of what is going on in their individual personal life — physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, spiritually, and relationally. 


Yesterday was Valentine’s Day which can be a tender time for leaders who appear to have it all together in the work arena. 


Perhaps you understand… 


This also means paying attention to the collective energy on the planet which has continued to be unsteady at best. 


One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to have an emotional self-regulation strategy especially in times of uncertainty. 


I learned this as I lived through 9/11. 


This is why at the onset of negative news around the global pandemic, I met with my team to talk about ways to increase support in the areas of emotional resiliency for our clients and partners. 


We added trainings and increased our touch points to foster open dialogue and lines of communication. 


Our conversations weren’t solely about business or growth. They were about self-care, connection, and the stages of grief. 


Many of our calls were simply about giving people a forum that included permission to feel and express those feelings. 


The loss you may have experienced with access to jobs, friends and family, and countless unknowns (Will schools ever fully return? Will the virus get worse? Will racism ever be dismantled?) has made the burden feel heavier and heavier. 


I read an article that spoke about the 2nd burnout wave in organizations as more people realize there is nothing normal about what is going on in their lives. 


Yet, I’ve also had conversations with people who are thriving because of their emotional regulation strategy and willingness to lean in to what is. 


Dr. Marc Brackett, founder and director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence wrote a book entitled, Permission to Feel, where he outlines the concept of an emotional regulation strategy to feel better and move through challenging times with ease. 


Emotions are simply biological states associated with the nervous system. A neuro-physical change in the body gets created because of your thoughts or feelings that evoke pleasure or displeasure. (Even scientists struggle to define them.) 


Brackett defines healthy emotion regulation as: “The ‘thoughts’ or ‘actions’ we use to prevent, reduce, incite, maintain, or enhance well-being, build positive relationships, make sound decisions, and attain goals.” 


The 7 areas to create your own emotional self-regulation strategy are:


1.  Physiologic regulation (deep breathing, paying attention to your body)


2.  Self-Care (sleep, nutrition/diet, exercise) 


3.  Healthy Relationships (feeling valued, loved, appreciated, and feeling safe) 


4.  Managing your thoughts (positive self-talk) 


5.  Managing your life smoothly (routines, habits, rhythms) 


6.  Engaging in meaningful activities (doing things you love) 


7.  Forgiveness (giving yourself and everyone else permission to get it wrong – and to forgive) 


Dr. Brackett shares you don’t have to have all seven in place at any one time – and there isn’t a right formula. 


It’s like the 7 Pillars of Leadership I speak about at Design Your Destiny Live as what is important is creating a strategy that works for you, so you can do your best work and your people can connect with your best self. 


When I speak with colleagues and clients, I can see how by consciously managing these areas to achieve greater regulation and resiliency, they’re creating new projects, opportunities, and growth avenues. 


I’m feeling their vitality to capitalize on innovative ways to engage in virtual forums. 


The good news is, these leaders have the kind of energy that inspires and lifts others around them.   


ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to rate yourself in each area of emotional self-regulation. 


What area you want to commit to giving more energy to?

What area you want to celebrate your success in?

What area do you want to share with others? 


The world needs you and your brilliance. 

By Lisa Marie Platske April 21, 2025
For years, I hung around with folks who told me I had to build an empire. And to build an empire, I needed: More clients More employees More products More space More revenue More choices Because this is what success looks like. Yet, it really was just more complication. And it made me dread doing the work that I once loved. Over time, I got the "more" I really needed was focus… and belief in God's grace and favor. I've been in a season of letting go. 100% of what I'm doing has been under examination for about 15 months. I've been looking at all the areas that may be costing me money, time, and energy I don’t need to spend. I've said good-bye to entire product lines, software, and processes. I've also been purging what’s in my home and closet, examining the clothes in my wardrobe, and what’s in the garage and barn. All of this has allowed me to untether from what I own. None of these things define me. When I left federal law enforcement, I remember feeling lost. I turned in my badge, my gun, and what felt like my identity. I am not my business, my sales, my revenue, -- or even my profits. The focus has been to simplify — and not add more "stuff" to my life. I've got folks who come to me with: Complicated systems Employee hassles Warehouse worries ... ... and more line items than in a Senate appropriations bill. And there's some value they get from having a business that looks like that. What do you get from creating complexity in your life?!? I promise you that you get something. The questions I've been asking myself louder every day are: ~ "Does this get me closer to living out my Divine mission?" ~ "Does this allow me to be a greater force for good on the planet?" If the answer is no, it's got to go. I see too many leaders carrying weight they were never meant to carry, overwhelmed by things that were never theirs to hold. They know something needs to shift, and they don’t step back long enough to make it happen. That’s why I’m intentional about creating space for leaders to reset and realign. Because clarity doesn’t come from doing more—it comes from stripping away the unnecessary. If you’ve been feeling that nudge to step away from the noise and get clear on what actually matters, consider scheduling a Private, Leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm. I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025.  ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one thing adding complexity without real value. Ask yourself: Does this align with my Divine mission? Is it making a real impact? Would letting go create more space for what matters? If not, release it. Less clutter, more clarity. Less doing, more purpose. The world doesn’t need more of your stuff—it needs you.
By Lisa Marie Platske April 18, 2025
Hope isn't a strategy. You can’t hope your way into a better job, career, or business. You can’t hope your way into a better relationship. And you can’t hope your way into a better life. I've watched people who "hope" others will trust them enough to do business with them. Or hire them for their dream job. Or "hope" that the most talented people out there will want to work with them in their company. Or "hope" that the man or woman of their dreams will show up on their doorstep and ask them out. Hope is defined as a "feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." When invest time to get clear about who you are, what you want, and why it matters, it's more than just feeling your desire for something. You spent time, energy, and money creating clarity for your soul. This Upside leadership principle ensures you're not strong in only one area of your life - while being completely out of balance everywhere else. It keeps you from burning out after a year, or even a few. Because operating with clarity, confidence, and strategy ensures you get results that last. And that requires more than just hope. What kind of difference could that type of clarity make for you? If you want to be successful and profitable all areas of your life, this is the work I do so perhaps you're being called to dive in deeper to this community. Because the world needs you at your best. And hope isn’t the way to get there. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been hoping instead of leading. Where have you been waiting for a breakthrough instead of creating one? Take one decisive action today to move forward. Make the call. Send the email. Have the conversation. Do the work. Because God moves with you when you do.
By Lisa Marie Platske April 9, 2025
A few years ago, I felt as if I was on a hamster wheel in my business. It seemed as if I was in the same place every morning - and running fast. Maybe you can relate. I knew I needed someone else to take a look and see what I couldn't because I was too close to it. I sought out someone who would let me learn from their mistakes and not have to make them all on my own. That’s one of the greatest benefits of leadership coaching. Can you be a leader without it? Sure. Yet, the odds of you wildly succeeding are stacked against you for so many reasons. And the biggest one is, you will be light-years behind your competitors if you have to make all of the mistakes on your own. You can always benefit from wisdom gained through others' direct experience, thereby saving yourself a great deal of time and energy. And, you never outgrow the need for coaching. For example, although my leadership coaching and consulting give my clients insights into other industries and companies and have them consider questions they may never have thought about, I, too, have undergone gap analyses in my own business. With the help of others, over 15 months, I examined every single activity that every team member did as well as scrutinizing where my time gets INVESTED. I brought in someone to look at processes for operations, and had a firm conduct a financial audit. We re-wrote SOP's (standard operating procedures), streamlined systems, and eliminated duplication. Some of the questions that I asked were: ~ Is this the simplest way to do this? ~ Is this (action, system, app, etc.) truly needed to run the business? ~ Is everyone on the team committed to the mission, values, and vision of Upside Thinking? ~ What can be automated or done differently? ~ What am I missing? While I talk to business owners almost every day with these questions in mind, it was an interesting journey to do this for me and my business and understand how important it is to ensure the people around me are involved in the process despite this being my area of expertise. Sometimes you can’t see what’s in front of you on your own. You have to be willing to see a new perspective. And then you have to be willing to do something about it. Sometimes, you need to step out of your current environment completely to gain the perspective you’re missing. That’s why I create spaces where leaders can reflect, and recalibrate. If this resonates with you, consider signing up for a Private, Leadership Retreat Day at Summit Hills Farm in Richmond, Kentucky. Our Spring and Fall Upside Retreats are already sold out. And I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. Make a plan to reset, gain clarity, and step fully into what’s next for you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to be committed to personal development, understanding you can't see what's getting in the way on your own. So, where in your business or life do you need outside perspective? Be open to taking action to get the answers needed to move forward with greater ease. Remember, you’re here for a reason… …and the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske April 1, 2025
That’s the question, isn’t it? If we’re connected, you’re probably not someone who settles. You stretch yourself regularly, and you know there’s always more to do and be. Yet even the most conscious leaders can fall into the comfort of what’s familiar. It’s easy to mistake movement for progress, busyness for impact, and routine for purpose. Settling doesn’t always look like giving up, it often looks like: ~ Saying “yes” to things that keep you busy and yet you don’t move you forward ... ~ Downplaying your vision because it feels too big or uncertain ... ~ Waiting for clarity instead of creating it through action ... ~ Feeling restless yet unsure how to break through ... It’s not a lack of ambition. Rather, it’s a lack of space to recalibrate, strategize, and listen to what’s next. Stretching requires intention. It means: ~ Surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to expand ~ Creating space for deep, strategic thinking ~ Taking bold action even when the path isn’t fully mapped out ~ Bringing God into the process so you’re aligned, not just accomplished I used to wonder where leaders -- those who wanted to change the world -- went to do this kind of work, to breathe life into their vision and build their next level. When I couldn’t find it, I built it. A space for those who refuse to settle for “someday.” Because when you decide to stretch into your highest calling, clarity follows. And when you surround yourself with others who are doing the same, transformation happens. Where are you stretching next? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been holding back, whether it’s speaking up, taking a bold step, or committing fully to your vision, Then take one action today to stretch beyond it. Growth happens when you move past comfort. And the miracle happens after you take the leap of faith.
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By Lisa Marie Platske April 21, 2025
For years, I hung around with folks who told me I had to build an empire. And to build an empire, I needed: More clients More employees More products More space More revenue More choices Because this is what success looks like. Yet, it really was just more complication. And it made me dread doing the work that I once loved. Over time, I got the "more" I really needed was focus… and belief in God's grace and favor. I've been in a season of letting go. 100% of what I'm doing has been under examination for about 15 months. I've been looking at all the areas that may be costing me money, time, and energy I don’t need to spend. I've said good-bye to entire product lines, software, and processes. I've also been purging what’s in my home and closet, examining the clothes in my wardrobe, and what’s in the garage and barn. All of this has allowed me to untether from what I own. None of these things define me. When I left federal law enforcement, I remember feeling lost. I turned in my badge, my gun, and what felt like my identity. I am not my business, my sales, my revenue, -- or even my profits. The focus has been to simplify — and not add more "stuff" to my life. I've got folks who come to me with: Complicated systems Employee hassles Warehouse worries ... ... and more line items than in a Senate appropriations bill. And there's some value they get from having a business that looks like that. What do you get from creating complexity in your life?!? I promise you that you get something. The questions I've been asking myself louder every day are: ~ "Does this get me closer to living out my Divine mission?" ~ "Does this allow me to be a greater force for good on the planet?" If the answer is no, it's got to go. I see too many leaders carrying weight they were never meant to carry, overwhelmed by things that were never theirs to hold. They know something needs to shift, and they don’t step back long enough to make it happen. That’s why I’m intentional about creating space for leaders to reset and realign. Because clarity doesn’t come from doing more—it comes from stripping away the unnecessary. If you’ve been feeling that nudge to step away from the noise and get clear on what actually matters, consider scheduling a Private, Leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm. I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025.  ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one thing adding complexity without real value. Ask yourself: Does this align with my Divine mission? Is it making a real impact? Would letting go create more space for what matters? If not, release it. Less clutter, more clarity. Less doing, more purpose. The world doesn’t need more of your stuff—it needs you.
By Lisa Marie Platske April 18, 2025
Hope isn't a strategy. You can’t hope your way into a better job, career, or business. You can’t hope your way into a better relationship. And you can’t hope your way into a better life. I've watched people who "hope" others will trust them enough to do business with them. Or hire them for their dream job. Or "hope" that the most talented people out there will want to work with them in their company. Or "hope" that the man or woman of their dreams will show up on their doorstep and ask them out. Hope is defined as a "feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." When invest time to get clear about who you are, what you want, and why it matters, it's more than just feeling your desire for something. You spent time, energy, and money creating clarity for your soul. This Upside leadership principle ensures you're not strong in only one area of your life - while being completely out of balance everywhere else. It keeps you from burning out after a year, or even a few. Because operating with clarity, confidence, and strategy ensures you get results that last. And that requires more than just hope. What kind of difference could that type of clarity make for you? If you want to be successful and profitable all areas of your life, this is the work I do so perhaps you're being called to dive in deeper to this community. Because the world needs you at your best. And hope isn’t the way to get there. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been hoping instead of leading. Where have you been waiting for a breakthrough instead of creating one? Take one decisive action today to move forward. Make the call. Send the email. Have the conversation. Do the work. Because God moves with you when you do.
By Lisa Marie Platske April 9, 2025
A few years ago, I felt as if I was on a hamster wheel in my business. It seemed as if I was in the same place every morning - and running fast. Maybe you can relate. I knew I needed someone else to take a look and see what I couldn't because I was too close to it. I sought out someone who would let me learn from their mistakes and not have to make them all on my own. That’s one of the greatest benefits of leadership coaching. Can you be a leader without it? Sure. Yet, the odds of you wildly succeeding are stacked against you for so many reasons. And the biggest one is, you will be light-years behind your competitors if you have to make all of the mistakes on your own. You can always benefit from wisdom gained through others' direct experience, thereby saving yourself a great deal of time and energy. And, you never outgrow the need for coaching. For example, although my leadership coaching and consulting give my clients insights into other industries and companies and have them consider questions they may never have thought about, I, too, have undergone gap analyses in my own business. With the help of others, over 15 months, I examined every single activity that every team member did as well as scrutinizing where my time gets INVESTED. I brought in someone to look at processes for operations, and had a firm conduct a financial audit. We re-wrote SOP's (standard operating procedures), streamlined systems, and eliminated duplication. Some of the questions that I asked were: ~ Is this the simplest way to do this? ~ Is this (action, system, app, etc.) truly needed to run the business? ~ Is everyone on the team committed to the mission, values, and vision of Upside Thinking? ~ What can be automated or done differently? ~ What am I missing? While I talk to business owners almost every day with these questions in mind, it was an interesting journey to do this for me and my business and understand how important it is to ensure the people around me are involved in the process despite this being my area of expertise. Sometimes you can’t see what’s in front of you on your own. You have to be willing to see a new perspective. And then you have to be willing to do something about it. Sometimes, you need to step out of your current environment completely to gain the perspective you’re missing. That’s why I create spaces where leaders can reflect, and recalibrate. If this resonates with you, consider signing up for a Private, Leadership Retreat Day at Summit Hills Farm in Richmond, Kentucky. Our Spring and Fall Upside Retreats are already sold out. And I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. Make a plan to reset, gain clarity, and step fully into what’s next for you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to be committed to personal development, understanding you can't see what's getting in the way on your own. So, where in your business or life do you need outside perspective? Be open to taking action to get the answers needed to move forward with greater ease. Remember, you’re here for a reason… …and the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske April 1, 2025
That’s the question, isn’t it? If we’re connected, you’re probably not someone who settles. You stretch yourself regularly, and you know there’s always more to do and be. Yet even the most conscious leaders can fall into the comfort of what’s familiar. It’s easy to mistake movement for progress, busyness for impact, and routine for purpose. Settling doesn’t always look like giving up, it often looks like: ~ Saying “yes” to things that keep you busy and yet you don’t move you forward ... ~ Downplaying your vision because it feels too big or uncertain ... ~ Waiting for clarity instead of creating it through action ... ~ Feeling restless yet unsure how to break through ... It’s not a lack of ambition. Rather, it’s a lack of space to recalibrate, strategize, and listen to what’s next. Stretching requires intention. It means: ~ Surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to expand ~ Creating space for deep, strategic thinking ~ Taking bold action even when the path isn’t fully mapped out ~ Bringing God into the process so you’re aligned, not just accomplished I used to wonder where leaders -- those who wanted to change the world -- went to do this kind of work, to breathe life into their vision and build their next level. When I couldn’t find it, I built it. A space for those who refuse to settle for “someday.” Because when you decide to stretch into your highest calling, clarity follows. And when you surround yourself with others who are doing the same, transformation happens. Where are you stretching next? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been holding back, whether it’s speaking up, taking a bold step, or committing fully to your vision, Then take one action today to stretch beyond it. Growth happens when you move past comfort. And the miracle happens after you take the leap of faith.
More Posts