Do You Have an Emotional Regulation Strategy?
LisaMarie • February 15, 2021
While I’m a leadership coach, I want a client’s entire life to be filled with ease, not just their career or business life.
This means being aware of what is going on in their individual personal life — physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, spiritually, and relationally.
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day which can be a tender time for leaders who appear to have it all together in the work arena.
Perhaps you understand…
This also means paying attention to the collective energy on the planet which has continued to be unsteady at best.
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to have an emotional self-regulation strategy especially in times of uncertainty.
I learned this as I lived through 9/11.
This is why at the onset of negative news around the global pandemic, I met with my team to talk about ways to increase support in the areas of emotional resiliency for our clients and partners.
We added trainings and increased our touch points to foster open dialogue and lines of communication.
Our conversations weren’t solely about business or growth. They were about self-care, connection, and the stages of grief.
Many of our calls were simply about giving people a forum that included permission to feel and express those feelings.
The loss you may have experienced with access to jobs, friends and family, and countless unknowns (Will schools ever fully return? Will the virus get worse? Will racism ever be dismantled?) has made the burden feel heavier and heavier.
I read an article that spoke about the 2nd burnout wave in organizations as more people realize there is nothing normal about what is going on in their lives.
Yet, I’ve also had conversations with people who are thriving because of their emotional regulation strategy and willingness to lean in to what is.
Dr. Marc Brackett, founder and director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence wrote a book entitled, Permission to Feel, where he outlines the concept of an emotional regulation strategy to feel better and move through challenging times with ease.
Emotions are simply biological states associated with the nervous system. A neuro-physical change in the body gets created because of your thoughts or feelings that evoke pleasure or displeasure. (Even scientists struggle to define them.)
Brackett defines healthy emotion regulation as: “The ‘thoughts’ or ‘actions’ we use to prevent, reduce, incite, maintain, or enhance well-being, build positive relationships, make sound decisions, and attain goals.”
The 7 areas to create your own emotional self-regulation strategy are:
1. Physiologic regulation (deep breathing, paying attention to your body)
2. Self-Care (sleep, nutrition/diet, exercise)
3. Healthy Relationships (feeling valued, loved, appreciated, and feeling safe)
4. Managing your thoughts (positive self-talk)
5. Managing your life smoothly (routines, habits, rhythms)
6. Engaging in meaningful activities (doing things you love)
7. Forgiveness (giving yourself and everyone else permission to get it wrong – and to forgive)
Dr. Brackett shares you don’t have to have all seven in place at any one time – and there isn’t a right formula.
It’s like the 7 Pillars of Leadership I speak about at Design Your Destiny Live as what is important is creating a strategy that works for you, so you can do your best work and your people can connect with your best self.
When I speak with colleagues and clients, I can see how by consciously managing these areas to achieve greater regulation and resiliency, they’re creating new projects, opportunities, and growth avenues.
I’m feeling their vitality to capitalize on innovative ways to engage in virtual forums.
The good news is, these leaders have the kind of energy that inspires and lifts others around them.
ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to rate yourself in each area of emotional self-regulation.
What area you want to commit to giving more energy to?
What area you want to celebrate your success in?
What area do you want to share with others?
The world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 8, 2025
Over the past decade, I've had some really big wins. And because I've had success amnesia and struggle to celebrate my wins, my accomplishments never seemed good enough. Fifteen years ago, all I could see was what I was getting wrong. At that time, I stopped creating big goals (heck, any goals)—and my vision for my business grew smaller. Then I didn't have to feel as if I was a fraud. I would simply stick to what was working and not stretch myself any further. Unconsciously, I chose to live in my comfort zone and stop taking risks. To the outside world, everything looked good. ~ I had clients. ~ I had my own business. ~ And I had a comfortable life. Yet, inside, I was dying . Pieces of me were shriveling up and becoming unrecognizable. When you understand you have a Divine mission and purpose to fulfill and you're not fully using your gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences for good, it's like having your life force being taken from you. You start going through the motions without being present to the gift of life. Over time, you become numb to the possibilities, awe, and wonder that are all around you. Did you ever watch a little kid, and how they see the world through the eyes of God? Everything they notice seems to captivate them and bring them joy. Somewhere along the way, you lose that as an adult. Life becomes rote if you let it. That's what happened to me. And it's hard to lead yourself or others when you're in this place. Sometimes when you feel like you're not winning, you get the opportunity to reflect on what winning looks like. It's a compass that can lead you back home ... ... to a place where health, happiness, success, and meaning are ever-present. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one part of your leadership or life that once brought you joy yet now feels routine. Take one intentional action this week to breathe life back into it—whether that’s reimagining a goal, initiating a meaningful conversation, or revisiting a practice that once inspired you. Even a single deliberate choice can reset your compass toward the place where health, happiness, success, and meaning grow strong.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 1, 2025
When I talk to folks about living out their Divine mission and purpose being the reason why leadership is so important, some people take a step back. "Who, me? A mission? And a Divine one? I'm not sure you've got the right character." Yet, this is something I’m 100% sure of. You were handpicked to do something on this planet. ~ Handpicked to be your mom’s son or daughter. ~ Handpicked to use the gifts you’ve been given and the experiences you’ve had. For a purpose. And I get that not everyone believes that because somewhere along the way, the world teaches you to shrink or make yourself smaller than you were created to be. So you wait for permission. Or you begin doubting your voice. Maybe that happened to you. And yet, here you are, you’re still here. Which means Heaven’s not done. You see, the Divine doesn’t make mistakes, and your presence isn’t accidental. Everything about your journey... ... the setbacks, the breakthroughs, the patterns you repeat, the people you meet ... has been preparing you. And if everyone chose to live from the belief that they're here for a purpose, the world would look vastly different. A purpose-led life requires leaders to step up and do something meaningful with their gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. They understand they're born for something bigger than themselves. And that amount of courage is rare in today's world. I’m pretty sure you weren’t created just to scroll through TikTok or add another item to your cart. You were given a Divine mission. You were given a purpose that was assigned to you and only you. No one else can fulfill it. Just you. And without leadership, walking it out will be extremely hard. Leadership means taking full responsibility for your Divine assignment. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one decision you’ve delayed. Maybe it’s stepping back from a leadership role you’ve outgrown. Maybe it’s restructuring something you built because it no longer aligns. Maybe it’s finally moving forward on the vision you’ve been sitting on for far too long. Block 30 minutes this week to address it with clarity and conviction. Because the longer you wait, the heavier it becomes.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 24, 2025
I’m no stranger to awards. I’ve been recognized for the past 25 years, receiving recognition from the National Association of Female Executives, the White House, the Small Business Administration, the International Alliance for Women, the Evolutionary Business Council, Forbes, and more. I’ve gotten awards entitled Rising Star early on in my business to Woman of the Year, the Top 100 Women Making a Difference in the World, and Women in Business Champion of the Year later on. Several years ago, I received two awards that felt different. To see my name on the screen because of my peers was humbling. That was the first award. The 2nd to last award of the evening for this organization was the “Biggest Impact" award. This award wasn’t listed in the programming or marketing of the event. When my name was called, I was awestruck. I took the stage speechless and moved to tears—and not for the reasons most people might have thought. I’ve learned that you can’t outgive God. That’s something I remind the leaders I work with, whether in a retreat, mastermind, or private mentoring conversation. And whenever I give, it comes back to me 100-fold. The conversations I had at the event throughout the evening are ones that I will always remember. So if you feel you don’t fit in … stop making that an excuse to not get involved in something. Show up for others. Even when you don’t feel like it. If we haven’t met, my door is always open. Reach out at any time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to create space for a conversation you’ve been too busy to have. It maybe someone in your life has gotten your presence, just not your full attention. Show up without performance, without hurry and without distraction. Fifteen minutes. That’s all. Make the time. And let it count.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 17, 2025
Leadership requires consciousness and courage. Lots of folks have talent. Yet, it's rare to see a leader with 360-degree awareness who has the courage to stand in the dark places where leadership is often required to go. This is why for years I've shouted from the rooftops that comfort doesn't change the world. (I even have a shirt in the Upside store that has it printed on the back.) Because no matter how many gifts you've been given, or how much raw talent you possess, you can't erase the struggles of the human experience. You can numb. You can follow. Or, you can choose to step up and lead. And doing the latter is the hardest. All day long I'd much rather have all of the autonomy with little to no responsibility. Yet I understand to do that is copping out on the full usage of my divine gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. I was built to lead. And that means being responsible ... when things go right, and when they don't. Over the years, I've numbed out on mindless TV shows, and unhealthy fast food only to get me further off-course from my divine mission and purpose. Gaining weight and feeling tired were just symptoms of an unhealthy system, and a socially acceptable way to numb. Leadership takes strength and discipline that are rooted in consciousness and courage. Because most folks don't want to be accountable at that level, they'll opt out and choose to follow someone else's lead. That's never been my style. I've learned more from going through hard times than I ever did sitting on Easy Street. The best piece is that you get to choose for yourself. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one thing the future you, the one fully walking in your divine assignment, would do. You already know what it is, that nudge you’ve been feeling. That quiet pull from God asking you to move. Maybe it’s making the call, saying no, saying yes, clearing space to think, or finally following through on what you said mattered. Whatever it is, stop numbing around it. Take the step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 8, 2025
Over the past decade, I've had some really big wins. And because I've had success amnesia and struggle to celebrate my wins, my accomplishments never seemed good enough. Fifteen years ago, all I could see was what I was getting wrong. At that time, I stopped creating big goals (heck, any goals)—and my vision for my business grew smaller. Then I didn't have to feel as if I was a fraud. I would simply stick to what was working and not stretch myself any further. Unconsciously, I chose to live in my comfort zone and stop taking risks. To the outside world, everything looked good. ~ I had clients. ~ I had my own business. ~ And I had a comfortable life. Yet, inside, I was dying . Pieces of me were shriveling up and becoming unrecognizable. When you understand you have a Divine mission and purpose to fulfill and you're not fully using your gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences for good, it's like having your life force being taken from you. You start going through the motions without being present to the gift of life. Over time, you become numb to the possibilities, awe, and wonder that are all around you. Did you ever watch a little kid, and how they see the world through the eyes of God? Everything they notice seems to captivate them and bring them joy. Somewhere along the way, you lose that as an adult. Life becomes rote if you let it. That's what happened to me. And it's hard to lead yourself or others when you're in this place. Sometimes when you feel like you're not winning, you get the opportunity to reflect on what winning looks like. It's a compass that can lead you back home ... ... to a place where health, happiness, success, and meaning are ever-present. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one part of your leadership or life that once brought you joy yet now feels routine. Take one intentional action this week to breathe life back into it—whether that’s reimagining a goal, initiating a meaningful conversation, or revisiting a practice that once inspired you. Even a single deliberate choice can reset your compass toward the place where health, happiness, success, and meaning grow strong.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 1, 2025
When I talk to folks about living out their Divine mission and purpose being the reason why leadership is so important, some people take a step back. "Who, me? A mission? And a Divine one? I'm not sure you've got the right character." Yet, this is something I’m 100% sure of. You were handpicked to do something on this planet. ~ Handpicked to be your mom’s son or daughter. ~ Handpicked to use the gifts you’ve been given and the experiences you’ve had. For a purpose. And I get that not everyone believes that because somewhere along the way, the world teaches you to shrink or make yourself smaller than you were created to be. So you wait for permission. Or you begin doubting your voice. Maybe that happened to you. And yet, here you are, you’re still here. Which means Heaven’s not done. You see, the Divine doesn’t make mistakes, and your presence isn’t accidental. Everything about your journey... ... the setbacks, the breakthroughs, the patterns you repeat, the people you meet ... has been preparing you. And if everyone chose to live from the belief that they're here for a purpose, the world would look vastly different. A purpose-led life requires leaders to step up and do something meaningful with their gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. They understand they're born for something bigger than themselves. And that amount of courage is rare in today's world. I’m pretty sure you weren’t created just to scroll through TikTok or add another item to your cart. You were given a Divine mission. You were given a purpose that was assigned to you and only you. No one else can fulfill it. Just you. And without leadership, walking it out will be extremely hard. Leadership means taking full responsibility for your Divine assignment. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one decision you’ve delayed. Maybe it’s stepping back from a leadership role you’ve outgrown. Maybe it’s restructuring something you built because it no longer aligns. Maybe it’s finally moving forward on the vision you’ve been sitting on for far too long. Block 30 minutes this week to address it with clarity and conviction. Because the longer you wait, the heavier it becomes.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 24, 2025
I’m no stranger to awards. I’ve been recognized for the past 25 years, receiving recognition from the National Association of Female Executives, the White House, the Small Business Administration, the International Alliance for Women, the Evolutionary Business Council, Forbes, and more. I’ve gotten awards entitled Rising Star early on in my business to Woman of the Year, the Top 100 Women Making a Difference in the World, and Women in Business Champion of the Year later on. Several years ago, I received two awards that felt different. To see my name on the screen because of my peers was humbling. That was the first award. The 2nd to last award of the evening for this organization was the “Biggest Impact" award. This award wasn’t listed in the programming or marketing of the event. When my name was called, I was awestruck. I took the stage speechless and moved to tears—and not for the reasons most people might have thought. I’ve learned that you can’t outgive God. That’s something I remind the leaders I work with, whether in a retreat, mastermind, or private mentoring conversation. And whenever I give, it comes back to me 100-fold. The conversations I had at the event throughout the evening are ones that I will always remember. So if you feel you don’t fit in … stop making that an excuse to not get involved in something. Show up for others. Even when you don’t feel like it. If we haven’t met, my door is always open. Reach out at any time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to create space for a conversation you’ve been too busy to have. It maybe someone in your life has gotten your presence, just not your full attention. Show up without performance, without hurry and without distraction. Fifteen minutes. That’s all. Make the time. And let it count.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 17, 2025
Leadership requires consciousness and courage. Lots of folks have talent. Yet, it's rare to see a leader with 360-degree awareness who has the courage to stand in the dark places where leadership is often required to go. This is why for years I've shouted from the rooftops that comfort doesn't change the world. (I even have a shirt in the Upside store that has it printed on the back.) Because no matter how many gifts you've been given, or how much raw talent you possess, you can't erase the struggles of the human experience. You can numb. You can follow. Or, you can choose to step up and lead. And doing the latter is the hardest. All day long I'd much rather have all of the autonomy with little to no responsibility. Yet I understand to do that is copping out on the full usage of my divine gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. I was built to lead. And that means being responsible ... when things go right, and when they don't. Over the years, I've numbed out on mindless TV shows, and unhealthy fast food only to get me further off-course from my divine mission and purpose. Gaining weight and feeling tired were just symptoms of an unhealthy system, and a socially acceptable way to numb. Leadership takes strength and discipline that are rooted in consciousness and courage. Because most folks don't want to be accountable at that level, they'll opt out and choose to follow someone else's lead. That's never been my style. I've learned more from going through hard times than I ever did sitting on Easy Street. The best piece is that you get to choose for yourself. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one thing the future you, the one fully walking in your divine assignment, would do. You already know what it is, that nudge you’ve been feeling. That quiet pull from God asking you to move. Maybe it’s making the call, saying no, saying yes, clearing space to think, or finally following through on what you said mattered. Whatever it is, stop numbing around it. Take the step.
