Do You Have an Emotional Regulation Strategy?

LisaMarie • February 15, 2021


While I’m a leadership coach, I want a client’s entire life to be filled with ease, not just their career or business life. 


This means being aware of what is going on in their individual personal life — physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, spiritually, and relationally. 


Yesterday was Valentine’s Day which can be a tender time for leaders who appear to have it all together in the work arena. 


Perhaps you understand… 


This also means paying attention to the collective energy on the planet which has continued to be unsteady at best. 


One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to have an emotional self-regulation strategy especially in times of uncertainty. 


I learned this as I lived through 9/11. 


This is why at the onset of negative news around the global pandemic, I met with my team to talk about ways to increase support in the areas of emotional resiliency for our clients and partners. 


We added trainings and increased our touch points to foster open dialogue and lines of communication. 


Our conversations weren’t solely about business or growth. They were about self-care, connection, and the stages of grief. 


Many of our calls were simply about giving people a forum that included permission to feel and express those feelings. 


The loss you may have experienced with access to jobs, friends and family, and countless unknowns (Will schools ever fully return? Will the virus get worse? Will racism ever be dismantled?) has made the burden feel heavier and heavier. 


I read an article that spoke about the 2nd burnout wave in organizations as more people realize there is nothing normal about what is going on in their lives. 


Yet, I’ve also had conversations with people who are thriving because of their emotional regulation strategy and willingness to lean in to what is. 


Dr. Marc Brackett, founder and director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence wrote a book entitled, Permission to Feel, where he outlines the concept of an emotional regulation strategy to feel better and move through challenging times with ease. 


Emotions are simply biological states associated with the nervous system. A neuro-physical change in the body gets created because of your thoughts or feelings that evoke pleasure or displeasure. (Even scientists struggle to define them.) 


Brackett defines healthy emotion regulation as: “The ‘thoughts’ or ‘actions’ we use to prevent, reduce, incite, maintain, or enhance well-being, build positive relationships, make sound decisions, and attain goals.” 


The 7 areas to create your own emotional self-regulation strategy are:


1.  Physiologic regulation (deep breathing, paying attention to your body)


2.  Self-Care (sleep, nutrition/diet, exercise) 


3.  Healthy Relationships (feeling valued, loved, appreciated, and feeling safe) 


4.  Managing your thoughts (positive self-talk) 


5.  Managing your life smoothly (routines, habits, rhythms) 


6.  Engaging in meaningful activities (doing things you love) 


7.  Forgiveness (giving yourself and everyone else permission to get it wrong – and to forgive) 


Dr. Brackett shares you don’t have to have all seven in place at any one time – and there isn’t a right formula. 


It’s like the 7 Pillars of Leadership I speak about at Design Your Destiny Live as what is important is creating a strategy that works for you, so you can do your best work and your people can connect with your best self. 


When I speak with colleagues and clients, I can see how by consciously managing these areas to achieve greater regulation and resiliency, they’re creating new projects, opportunities, and growth avenues. 


I’m feeling their vitality to capitalize on innovative ways to engage in virtual forums. 


The good news is, these leaders have the kind of energy that inspires and lifts others around them.   


ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to rate yourself in each area of emotional self-regulation. 


What area you want to commit to giving more energy to?

What area you want to celebrate your success in?

What area do you want to share with others? 


The world needs you and your brilliance. 

Don’t Wait for Permission to Do What Works

By Lisa Marie Platske • February 9, 2026
“You can’t quit your job to open a business. You don’t even know anything about business.” I get it. Taking a leap of faith doesn’t make sense. That’s why it’s called faith. So I took the leap of faith anyway. “That’s not the way we do that here.” I understand. And I created a new way of doing business that is more effective—and fun! “Why must you be such a troublemaker?” I don’t know what you mean. I get there are rules within the system—and I chose to create a new system. “That’s not possible.” Sure it is. I just did it. “You’re being reckless. You have responsibilities.” It depends on how you look at it. I see unlimited possibilities. These are real-life conversations I've had with folks in different seasons of my life. See, the rewards of courageous leadership are immense. Questioning 'what if...' to create 'what is' has been my journey. And it’s probably yours, too. You can’t live out your mission by playing by the rules of a broken world. Don’t let the “we’ve always done it this way” paradigm get in the way of making a positive difference on the planet. Remember, there’s always a way. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stop letting “we’ve always done it this way” slow your impact. Take a process, workflow, or system that isn’t serving your mission and start redesigning it. Remember, there’s always a way to make a bigger difference and it starts with your decision to do things differently.

When Staying Liked Costs Your Soul

By Lisa Marie Platske • February 2, 2026
You have been hard-wired for greatness so stop trying so hard to be something other than who you are. I see it all the time. Folks who tie themselves into knots, seeking the approval of others. Oh, it's not conscious. Most leaders would tell you that they're comfortable being their own boss, in charge of their time. Behind closed doors, many of them have told me something different. And that's because conflict, being misunderstood, and being vilified are pretty crummy. Most folks want to be liked. They want to be valued and appreciated for the effort they've put in. Your greatest gift to the planet is to be fully, completely, and unapologetically who you are. Doing that may come with some pretty harsh consequences ... which is why most leaders are willing to sell out. The thing that isn't always self-evident about compromising your values and beliefs is that every night you're stuck with you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror. You are the only one who understands the choices you've made—right, wrong, or indifferent. When the day is done, the truth always meets you in the quiet. It asks whether you stood in integrity or traded pieces of yourself to keep the peace. Leadership requires decisions that don’t win applause. It often asks you to hold your ground when others want you to bend. Living aligned with who you are may cost you approval or relationships. Yet, it will never cost you your soul. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to name a decision you’ve been avoiding because it feels risky or uncomfortable. It could be ending a partnership that no longer serves your vision, raising the standards for a client, or closing a door that keeps you from your calling. Take one bold, aligned action this week that honors your integrity and the leader you were created to be.

The Joy of Living Your Divine Mission

By Lisa Marie Platske • January 26, 2026
"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." ~ Helen Keller Purpose. The dictionary definition is, " the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. " You were put on the planet for a reason ... a purpose. And, part of the joy of the journey is to be in the discovery and fulfillment of that divine purpose . Perhaps that's why Helen Keller said what she said. Too often, folks get sidetracked by fame and fortune, or comfort and easy. While they each have their allure, they will never bring you happiness. True happiness comes from meaning. Over the decades, there have been countless subjects and research projects on the topic of happiness. The results of all of them have pointed back to this truth. When I think about the leaders that I've had the privilege of working with, the ones that were the happiest weren't the ones that had situations that were easy. Actually, life came down pretty hard on some of them and they were in peril. While they came to me seeking answers about how to right the ship, the journey rarely involved signing a multi-million dollar deal that got them to happiness island. It was the ability to peel away each layer of their circumstances and see it through the lens of their divine mission and purpose. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice where your influence thrive. At times, we can lose sight of what truly matters. So today, observe the work, conversations, and moments where you naturally make a difference. Do more of those things, even in small ways. Your purpose is revealed in the places where your leadership produces impact and meaning.

Where Focus Goes, Expansion Flows

By Lisa Marie Platske • January 19, 2026
Choice. Direction. Commitment. Consistent Action. Rinse and repeat. If you do this, a lot can change in a year. There was a season where most folks in my industry started cutting back—and I did the opposite. I doubled down on the number of hours I was investing in my business. I created new programming for my live events, and I hired 4 new people. At the time, I also chose to invest in myself and upped my personal commitment to excellence in every area of my life, getting up early and doing the work physically, mentally, intellectually, spiritually, financially, relationally, and creatively. My business expanded, my relationships grew stronger, and at the time, I released 18 pounds. See, most people are more committed to fixing what isn’t working that they can’t see what is working. They stop being grateful for what's right in front of them . They stop being able to see the miracles that are happening in front of their eyes. I recently had a private leadership retreat day with a guy who said, "If miracles were happening in my life, I'd certainly see them." He said it with conviction, bravado, and a tiny bit of arrogance. I called him on it and pointed out three things that were miracles in the making that had just happened in his life. When you focus solely on the problem, you always lose. Over the past year, when people were wondering what they were going to do over the weekend, I was thinking about this moment. Right here and right now. Today, I’m mapping out what’s going to happen over the next 12 – 24 months in my business—all while staying rooted in the here and now. Commit to excellence and your life will change. You will turn possibilities into realities. I’m a living proof. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to look at where you’ve been relying on experience instead of intention. Leaders sometimes can easily coast on what’s worked before, forgetting that excellence requires evolution. Identify one area where you’ve been leading on autopilot. It could be a system, relationship, or habit that could be sharper, more aligned, or more alive. Then refine it. Because you’re committed to mastery.
More Posts

Don’t Wait for Permission to Do What Works

By Lisa Marie Platske • February 9, 2026
“You can’t quit your job to open a business. You don’t even know anything about business.” I get it. Taking a leap of faith doesn’t make sense. That’s why it’s called faith. So I took the leap of faith anyway. “That’s not the way we do that here.” I understand. And I created a new way of doing business that is more effective—and fun! “Why must you be such a troublemaker?” I don’t know what you mean. I get there are rules within the system—and I chose to create a new system. “That’s not possible.” Sure it is. I just did it. “You’re being reckless. You have responsibilities.” It depends on how you look at it. I see unlimited possibilities. These are real-life conversations I've had with folks in different seasons of my life. See, the rewards of courageous leadership are immense. Questioning 'what if...' to create 'what is' has been my journey. And it’s probably yours, too. You can’t live out your mission by playing by the rules of a broken world. Don’t let the “we’ve always done it this way” paradigm get in the way of making a positive difference on the planet. Remember, there’s always a way. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stop letting “we’ve always done it this way” slow your impact. Take a process, workflow, or system that isn’t serving your mission and start redesigning it. Remember, there’s always a way to make a bigger difference and it starts with your decision to do things differently.

When Staying Liked Costs Your Soul

By Lisa Marie Platske • February 2, 2026
You have been hard-wired for greatness so stop trying so hard to be something other than who you are. I see it all the time. Folks who tie themselves into knots, seeking the approval of others. Oh, it's not conscious. Most leaders would tell you that they're comfortable being their own boss, in charge of their time. Behind closed doors, many of them have told me something different. And that's because conflict, being misunderstood, and being vilified are pretty crummy. Most folks want to be liked. They want to be valued and appreciated for the effort they've put in. Your greatest gift to the planet is to be fully, completely, and unapologetically who you are. Doing that may come with some pretty harsh consequences ... which is why most leaders are willing to sell out. The thing that isn't always self-evident about compromising your values and beliefs is that every night you're stuck with you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror. You are the only one who understands the choices you've made—right, wrong, or indifferent. When the day is done, the truth always meets you in the quiet. It asks whether you stood in integrity or traded pieces of yourself to keep the peace. Leadership requires decisions that don’t win applause. It often asks you to hold your ground when others want you to bend. Living aligned with who you are may cost you approval or relationships. Yet, it will never cost you your soul. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to name a decision you’ve been avoiding because it feels risky or uncomfortable. It could be ending a partnership that no longer serves your vision, raising the standards for a client, or closing a door that keeps you from your calling. Take one bold, aligned action this week that honors your integrity and the leader you were created to be.

The Joy of Living Your Divine Mission

By Lisa Marie Platske • January 26, 2026
"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." ~ Helen Keller Purpose. The dictionary definition is, " the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. " You were put on the planet for a reason ... a purpose. And, part of the joy of the journey is to be in the discovery and fulfillment of that divine purpose . Perhaps that's why Helen Keller said what she said. Too often, folks get sidetracked by fame and fortune, or comfort and easy. While they each have their allure, they will never bring you happiness. True happiness comes from meaning. Over the decades, there have been countless subjects and research projects on the topic of happiness. The results of all of them have pointed back to this truth. When I think about the leaders that I've had the privilege of working with, the ones that were the happiest weren't the ones that had situations that were easy. Actually, life came down pretty hard on some of them and they were in peril. While they came to me seeking answers about how to right the ship, the journey rarely involved signing a multi-million dollar deal that got them to happiness island. It was the ability to peel away each layer of their circumstances and see it through the lens of their divine mission and purpose. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to notice where your influence thrive. At times, we can lose sight of what truly matters. So today, observe the work, conversations, and moments where you naturally make a difference. Do more of those things, even in small ways. Your purpose is revealed in the places where your leadership produces impact and meaning.

Where Focus Goes, Expansion Flows

By Lisa Marie Platske • January 19, 2026
Choice. Direction. Commitment. Consistent Action. Rinse and repeat. If you do this, a lot can change in a year. There was a season where most folks in my industry started cutting back—and I did the opposite. I doubled down on the number of hours I was investing in my business. I created new programming for my live events, and I hired 4 new people. At the time, I also chose to invest in myself and upped my personal commitment to excellence in every area of my life, getting up early and doing the work physically, mentally, intellectually, spiritually, financially, relationally, and creatively. My business expanded, my relationships grew stronger, and at the time, I released 18 pounds. See, most people are more committed to fixing what isn’t working that they can’t see what is working. They stop being grateful for what's right in front of them . They stop being able to see the miracles that are happening in front of their eyes. I recently had a private leadership retreat day with a guy who said, "If miracles were happening in my life, I'd certainly see them." He said it with conviction, bravado, and a tiny bit of arrogance. I called him on it and pointed out three things that were miracles in the making that had just happened in his life. When you focus solely on the problem, you always lose. Over the past year, when people were wondering what they were going to do over the weekend, I was thinking about this moment. Right here and right now. Today, I’m mapping out what’s going to happen over the next 12 – 24 months in my business—all while staying rooted in the here and now. Commit to excellence and your life will change. You will turn possibilities into realities. I’m a living proof. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to look at where you’ve been relying on experience instead of intention. Leaders sometimes can easily coast on what’s worked before, forgetting that excellence requires evolution. Identify one area where you’ve been leading on autopilot. It could be a system, relationship, or habit that could be sharper, more aligned, or more alive. Then refine it. Because you’re committed to mastery.
More Posts