As I carve out a new rhythm for myself and my business, I get the opportunity to examine every action and inaction, every thought and behavior.
It’s like being a kid again and seeing something for the first time.
This heightened attention to each moment has me pause and take notice of my personal fears and judgments.
Committed to mercy, justice, and protection, I’ve chosen to let go of a lot of hurt and pain in my life.
When I worked as a Federal law enforcement officer, this journey of forgiveness deepened as I was in the midst of 9/11.
My choice was to become bitter or better, and I chose the latter.
When I opened Upside Thinking, Inc., I began talking about forgiveness in many of my leadership trainings within various companies and city governments.
My vision of creating a world where everyone wins meant having open dialogue in a safe space.
I have witnessed healing and the repairing of relationships that have led to greater innovation and partnerships that contributed to a healthy bottom line.
In seeing the opportunity to expand my own growth edges and called to share what I’ve learned, I accepted a position on global non-profit board, Project Forgive.
Yet, sometimes I still struggle to forgive. The kind of genuine forgiveness that is for everyone, no matter what they have done.
I’ve come to see that forgiveness is a process, like grieving. During this process you can see the judgments that might need adjustment. You might identify the root misunderstandings. Or you may see the value in shedding an old opinion or fear.
You’re letting go of what once was in order to liberate yourself for something better, something lighter. You gain a new perspective.
This practice allows you to restore and rebuild, and isn’t a one-time act of dropping how you feel and picking up another emotion.
While I realize nothing is beyond my ability to forgive, nor is anything unforgiveable, this sometimes takes more time than I’d like depending on how I’ve been hurt.
The place I start is being gentle and patient with myself, starting with self-forgiveness as I’m often harder on myself than I am on others.
My mentor calls this for-gifting – the practice of letting go completely is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Letting to, allows more room inside you. More room for you and more room for possibilities. After all, nature abhors a vacuum.
ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to identify a situation in which you have been stymied by anger, resentment, or hurt.
Practice forgiveness or as my mentor Carole often says, “for-gifting.”
Remember it’s often not a one and done effort, so tread with a gentle heart and patience.
The world needs you and your brilliance.