Forgiveness Needed – How Can You Tell?

LisaMarie • August 10, 2020


What you say and how you say it matters more than you may think. 


Words carry enormous weight, and impact your direction, perception, and connection – and sometimes for a lifetime, giving you reason to pause and give up or the courage to move forward with something you want. 


In 8th grade my art teacher had us pair up and draw each other’s facial profile. 


While I don’t remember the purpose for the exercise, I do remember its outcome. 


Maria, the girl who drew me said, “Wow, I didn’t realize how pointy your nose was!” 


Well, for a girl at the blossoming age of 13, this felt like the end of the world. 


I was mortified and wanted to cry. I’m pretty sensitive and one of my mentors calls me “powder puff”. Back then, I was the biggest powder puff. 


Yet, I shrugged it off and pretended it didn’t bother me. 


For over 30 years I carried that statement with me, staring in the mirror at my nose that seemed to overshadow every other feature on my face. 


I looked at it, poked and prodded, and dreamt about plastic surgery. No matter at what angle I looked, it seemed to stand out like a flashing light, detracting from everything else that made me beautiful. 


Oh, how I wanted one of those cute button noses that all of the “pretty” girls had! 


Having a business is one of the greatest self-development experiences I’ve ever encountered. 


After opening my business, I realized that liking who I am was incredibly important for me to care deeply for others. 


So, I worked on liking myself and dare I say, loving myself. 


While I’m still a little self-conscious about my nose, I’ve learned to love who I am – nose and all. 


This is how powerful words can be. 


Words can shape perception and connection which is why I do my best to only speak from the Upside perspective, seeking to build others up. 


Today, this is even more important. 


As a leader, you have the ability and duty to build people up. It applies to everyone you meet – even those that may not deserve your good words. Everyone, even the rudest, most stressed-out colleague, stranger, or family member has the potential to be changed by your words. 


Choose to develop the people around you by what you say and how you say it. 


I’ve learned that the right words at the wrong time can be just as damaging as the wrong words, as there’ve been times in my life when I’ve dismissed the seriousness of a friend or family member’s pain. 


Sharing with them that they could have done “x” differently or to find the Upside hasn’t often been helpful. 


Understanding if or when to speak can make all the difference. 


Today, I do my best to come from a place of love first – and leave the advice giving, no matter how helpful I’m seeking to be, for another time. 


One of the qualities that has served me well in business is my ability to see what’s wrong in a situation, quickly assess it, and come up with a solution. 


While that has served me well in business, I’ve also learned that when you only see what’s wrong – and don’t look for the good too, people are hurt in the process. 


Everyone wants to be valued, appreciated, and loved. The words I use through acknowledgement are a verbal recognition/reflection that allow someone to experience all of those feelings. They get that they are “seen”. 


Finally, when encountering failure, words give the strength to move past the pain and continue on. 


After a series of business losses that felt like the end of the world, I was ready to close down Upside Thinking, Inc.. 


One of my business mentors gave me just the advice I needed to build my confidence, encouraging me to continue honoring the work I was called to do. 


His words gave me the peace of mind to trust that it would all work out in Divine Right Timing. 


Every day you get to influence the people around you by what you say and how you say it. 


Courageous, servant leaders getting the right words can make all the difference. 


ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to examine how your words impact others. 


The world needs you and your brilliance.


**Suzanne Dudley Schon, Coach, Speaker, and Author, is a catalyst who is passionate about helping people to see differently, think differently, and act differently so that they experience freedom, joy, and true success – as they define it — in every area of their lives. 


She graduated with a Degree in Psychology from Duke University, and beyond her academic studies, Coach Training, Reiki Training, and years of experience coaching clients, Suzanne considers her own life experience an invaluable source of her education. 


Her newly published book, Out Of The Box, A Journey In and Out of Emotional Captivity, has received rave reviews. And, Suzanne is also a trustee and board member of several non-profits, is a poet, actress, and the mother of two children, three step-children, and four geriatric dogs. 


Although she appears to be one of the WASPiest looking people in any given room, Suzanne is actually fluent in Spanish. The daughter of a Dominican woman and a New England born attorney, she credits the roulette wheel of DNA to her unusual combination of creative flare and pragmatism.




By Lisa Marie Platske June 30, 2025
The greater something is to your personal growth and evolution, the more resistance or push-back you will experience from the world and the people you love. Think about that. You’ve got a force inside of you that works against your desire to be better. In his 2002 book, “ The War of Art” , Steven Pressfield talks about this inner force as "the resistance". This inner force or resistance you feel creates distractions to take you off-course from fully stepping into who you're called to be. Activities like… Scrolling through Instagram Watching your favorite TV show or movie Shopping for more cool stuff … may seem fun yet they aren't designed to get you closer to what you want most in life. They also won’t move you forward in every single area of your life. And yet, you still find yourself doing them. Why? Because Resistance is subtle. It doesn’t shout—it settles. It lulls you into routine. Resistance may pull you into a comfortable groove where you just keep doing what you’ve been doing, ... and someday you wake up wondering, “How did I get here?!?” You’re not off track for feeling this way. You’re simply at a pivotal point, one that asks you to decide who you’re becoming. Moments like this aren’t meant to be rushed. They’re invitations to rise, realign, and remember what matters most. Resistance is where the growth is. It’s time to push back against it. What are you waiting for? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one area—leadership, relationships, health, or spiritual growth—and make one intentional move in that space. Do it with presence. Do it on purpose. Here are a few ideas: Begin your day by speaking one thing you’re grateful for. Hold off on replying to that text until you can be fully present. Take 60 seconds before a meeting to get still and set your intention. You don’t need more tasks. You need aligned action.
By Lisa Marie Platske June 23, 2025
You probably don’t want to be in the same place a week from now, let alone a year from now. Yet, you keep doing the same thing over and over and over again, expecting different results. You would never add 1 + 1 again and again — and expect your answer to be 3. So, stop doing the same things over and over hoping that you’ll magically be where you want to be — and everything you want for your life and business will come to fruition. Sometimes you need a new way of being, thinking, and living. That was one of the hardest lessons I've ever learned. Not knowing a lot about how to start a business, I relied on what I thought was the wisdom from other business owners. I didn't make decisions based on whether the people I had hired and listened to were 1) where I wanted to be, or 2) who I wanted to be when I got there. I looked at success as having a formula, and I just wanted to know what that formula was so I could get my piece of the pie. As each week went by, I got further and further away from the values I held dear before I started my entrepreneurial journey. I found that I was making decisions based on what seemed like I had to do versus what I wanted to do. So much of my day was spent chasing "opportunities" that I darn near lost my way. I remember one day looking up and thinking, " How the heck did I get here?!? " From the outside, it looked like I've got a great business, yet on the inside, if I'm honest with myself, I don't like what I'm doing, or who I have to pretend to be to do it. Every day felt like I added one more layer to the façade. Over the years, I've bought into the belief that I needed to be something — correction someone — different than who God made me to be. I can't tell you how many clients have come to me with that monkey on their back. A new way of thinking, being, and living was an arduous journey. I knew the path I was on. It had become familiar. And I was quite comfortable with the folks in my circle. Yet this wasn't the place for me to stay if I was going to do what God had been nudging me to do all along. I remember the first time I used the word Holy Spirit in one of my marketing pieces. I waited for the backlash to come. I waited for folks to call me out on who I was, and whether I had the right to speak about God. After all, I wasn't a pastor, a preacher, or someone who held a degree in religious studies. And yet, when no backlash came… when instead, I heard “ Thank you for saying what I’ve been feeling, ” something shifted. I realized I didn’t need another strategy. I needed alignment. Both in my business and in my whole life. The truth is, you already know when something isn’t working. You feel it. It nags at you in quiet moments. It whispers that what you’re doing is no longer sustainable — and maybe never was. So, let me ask you this: If nothing changes, where will you be this time next year? Because if you're still adding 1 + 1, you'll still be getting 2. And maybe what you need isn't just a new plan, maybe you need a new path. One that doesn’t force you to abandon who you are, and instead invites you to bring more of yourself into every space you lead. If something’s stirring in you, don’t brush it off. You weren’t made for surface-level success. You were made to lead from the inside out. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to slow down before making any decision — big or small. Ask yourself: "Is this aligned with who I am and where I’m being called? Or is this just what I’ve always done?" Then choose from that place of awareness. Becoming a purpose-led leader isn’t about doing more — it’s about being intentional with every step you take. Let this practice guide you back to alignment, one decision at a time.
By Lisa Marie Platske June 16, 2025
For a good portion of my life, I found it difficult to hear God's voice. Mostly I heard just static. Every so often, I'd listen to a song or get a nudge to do something, and mostly it was just quiet in my prayer time. In 2020, something broke open for me. I had been in a terrible place, working very hard in a few different areas. Yet, overall, I felt my life was stuck - and I wasn't making any progress anywhere. I looked at closing my business down and getting a job. My head was hurting from running into what felt like stone walls, and I was plain tired, battered, and bloodied. And I was embarrassed that I wanted to throw the towel in on things I had been working on for years. While many of the leaders I was coaching were doing well, I couldn't figure out the missing piece for where I was standing. And I was getting angry as it seemed my whole life was on the verge of one big meltdown. On a walk in my neighborhood in Virginia, I looked up at my street sign. I lived on Faith Court. The irony of God bringing me there. I decided that I would just start talking to God, and began asking Him questions as if He were walking beside me. I'd often sent clients on God walks, and today I felt this was my last hope. As fast as the questions came, so did the answers. Pieces of my life became clearer and I got an explanation of what had been going on behind the scenes when I thought God had forgotten about me. At the end of my walk, I had a re-commitment to going where God was leading even if it didn't make sense. It was profound and has led me to where I am today. Maybe you’ve felt that silence, too. That deafening quiet when you’re asking for direction, begging for clarity, and all you get is static. And maybe you’ve also been tempted to quit—to let go of what once felt certain, just because the road got too hard, too confusing, too quiet. Yet at times this silence isn’t a void, it’s an invitation. What broke open for me didn’t come from striving harder. It came from walking with God like He was right there beside me—because He was. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to ask God one real question today. Just one. Go outside. Take a walk if you can. Leave your earbuds behind. Imagine Him walking with you, then ask. Not with fear. Not with desperation. Just… ask. And listen. You might be surprised by what you hear when you stop trying to figure it all out and simply make room for Him to respond. You don’t have to get it right. You just have to get moving.
By Lisa Marie Platske June 9, 2025
Have you ever struggled with taking action on what you really wanted? Have you ever wondered if you’re not living up to your full potential? Research shows most people regret the choices they didn't make and the chances they didn't take at the end of their life. Yet, I get how sometimes fear can paralyze you from moving forward with what you want most. Over the past several years, I've been learning how to walk by faith, moment by moment. And when I look back at my life, I realize this has been a journey that began a long time ago. I would never have left working in Federal law enforcement if I didn’t take the journey from fear to faith. When I made the decision to turn in my resignation, my dad wanted to know why I was going to move from the steady income of a 6-figure government gig... ... to a zero-dollars-promised opportunity opening up my own business. I had no business degree, knew no one who had ever owned a business, and was living 3000 miles away from my closest friend or family member. Still, I took the leap of faith and trusted a net would appear. That's what most folks don't get. You have to take the leap BEFORE the miracle can show up. The journey to get from there to where I am today wasn't a solo effort. The people around me shaped my growth. I chose to surround myself with folks who think differently — who have challenged me to grow and evolve way beyond what I knew. The right leadership and different communities I stepped into gave me the confidence to move forward, even when the path ahead wasn’t clear. That’s why I believe coaching and community are essential for anyone who wants to go beyond where they are at this moment. See, every day you get an opportunity to decide what you are going to do with your life. Moment by moment, time moves forward without regard to your answer. Where do you need to take a leap of faith? Remember, your life is simply the sum total of all of the choices you've made. If you’re not happy with where you’re at, make different choices. It really is that easy.  ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to examine your decisions and see where you might be playing it safe. Because comfort doesn't change the world.
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By Lisa Marie Platske June 30, 2025
The greater something is to your personal growth and evolution, the more resistance or push-back you will experience from the world and the people you love. Think about that. You’ve got a force inside of you that works against your desire to be better. In his 2002 book, “ The War of Art” , Steven Pressfield talks about this inner force as "the resistance". This inner force or resistance you feel creates distractions to take you off-course from fully stepping into who you're called to be. Activities like… Scrolling through Instagram Watching your favorite TV show or movie Shopping for more cool stuff … may seem fun yet they aren't designed to get you closer to what you want most in life. They also won’t move you forward in every single area of your life. And yet, you still find yourself doing them. Why? Because Resistance is subtle. It doesn’t shout—it settles. It lulls you into routine. Resistance may pull you into a comfortable groove where you just keep doing what you’ve been doing, ... and someday you wake up wondering, “How did I get here?!?” You’re not off track for feeling this way. You’re simply at a pivotal point, one that asks you to decide who you’re becoming. Moments like this aren’t meant to be rushed. They’re invitations to rise, realign, and remember what matters most. Resistance is where the growth is. It’s time to push back against it. What are you waiting for? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one area—leadership, relationships, health, or spiritual growth—and make one intentional move in that space. Do it with presence. Do it on purpose. Here are a few ideas: Begin your day by speaking one thing you’re grateful for. Hold off on replying to that text until you can be fully present. Take 60 seconds before a meeting to get still and set your intention. You don’t need more tasks. You need aligned action.
By Lisa Marie Platske June 23, 2025
You probably don’t want to be in the same place a week from now, let alone a year from now. Yet, you keep doing the same thing over and over and over again, expecting different results. You would never add 1 + 1 again and again — and expect your answer to be 3. So, stop doing the same things over and over hoping that you’ll magically be where you want to be — and everything you want for your life and business will come to fruition. Sometimes you need a new way of being, thinking, and living. That was one of the hardest lessons I've ever learned. Not knowing a lot about how to start a business, I relied on what I thought was the wisdom from other business owners. I didn't make decisions based on whether the people I had hired and listened to were 1) where I wanted to be, or 2) who I wanted to be when I got there. I looked at success as having a formula, and I just wanted to know what that formula was so I could get my piece of the pie. As each week went by, I got further and further away from the values I held dear before I started my entrepreneurial journey. I found that I was making decisions based on what seemed like I had to do versus what I wanted to do. So much of my day was spent chasing "opportunities" that I darn near lost my way. I remember one day looking up and thinking, " How the heck did I get here?!? " From the outside, it looked like I've got a great business, yet on the inside, if I'm honest with myself, I don't like what I'm doing, or who I have to pretend to be to do it. Every day felt like I added one more layer to the façade. Over the years, I've bought into the belief that I needed to be something — correction someone — different than who God made me to be. I can't tell you how many clients have come to me with that monkey on their back. A new way of thinking, being, and living was an arduous journey. I knew the path I was on. It had become familiar. And I was quite comfortable with the folks in my circle. Yet this wasn't the place for me to stay if I was going to do what God had been nudging me to do all along. I remember the first time I used the word Holy Spirit in one of my marketing pieces. I waited for the backlash to come. I waited for folks to call me out on who I was, and whether I had the right to speak about God. After all, I wasn't a pastor, a preacher, or someone who held a degree in religious studies. And yet, when no backlash came… when instead, I heard “ Thank you for saying what I’ve been feeling, ” something shifted. I realized I didn’t need another strategy. I needed alignment. Both in my business and in my whole life. The truth is, you already know when something isn’t working. You feel it. It nags at you in quiet moments. It whispers that what you’re doing is no longer sustainable — and maybe never was. So, let me ask you this: If nothing changes, where will you be this time next year? Because if you're still adding 1 + 1, you'll still be getting 2. And maybe what you need isn't just a new plan, maybe you need a new path. One that doesn’t force you to abandon who you are, and instead invites you to bring more of yourself into every space you lead. If something’s stirring in you, don’t brush it off. You weren’t made for surface-level success. You were made to lead from the inside out. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to slow down before making any decision — big or small. Ask yourself: "Is this aligned with who I am and where I’m being called? Or is this just what I’ve always done?" Then choose from that place of awareness. Becoming a purpose-led leader isn’t about doing more — it’s about being intentional with every step you take. Let this practice guide you back to alignment, one decision at a time.
By Lisa Marie Platske June 16, 2025
For a good portion of my life, I found it difficult to hear God's voice. Mostly I heard just static. Every so often, I'd listen to a song or get a nudge to do something, and mostly it was just quiet in my prayer time. In 2020, something broke open for me. I had been in a terrible place, working very hard in a few different areas. Yet, overall, I felt my life was stuck - and I wasn't making any progress anywhere. I looked at closing my business down and getting a job. My head was hurting from running into what felt like stone walls, and I was plain tired, battered, and bloodied. And I was embarrassed that I wanted to throw the towel in on things I had been working on for years. While many of the leaders I was coaching were doing well, I couldn't figure out the missing piece for where I was standing. And I was getting angry as it seemed my whole life was on the verge of one big meltdown. On a walk in my neighborhood in Virginia, I looked up at my street sign. I lived on Faith Court. The irony of God bringing me there. I decided that I would just start talking to God, and began asking Him questions as if He were walking beside me. I'd often sent clients on God walks, and today I felt this was my last hope. As fast as the questions came, so did the answers. Pieces of my life became clearer and I got an explanation of what had been going on behind the scenes when I thought God had forgotten about me. At the end of my walk, I had a re-commitment to going where God was leading even if it didn't make sense. It was profound and has led me to where I am today. Maybe you’ve felt that silence, too. That deafening quiet when you’re asking for direction, begging for clarity, and all you get is static. And maybe you’ve also been tempted to quit—to let go of what once felt certain, just because the road got too hard, too confusing, too quiet. Yet at times this silence isn’t a void, it’s an invitation. What broke open for me didn’t come from striving harder. It came from walking with God like He was right there beside me—because He was. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to ask God one real question today. Just one. Go outside. Take a walk if you can. Leave your earbuds behind. Imagine Him walking with you, then ask. Not with fear. Not with desperation. Just… ask. And listen. You might be surprised by what you hear when you stop trying to figure it all out and simply make room for Him to respond. You don’t have to get it right. You just have to get moving.
By Lisa Marie Platske June 9, 2025
Have you ever struggled with taking action on what you really wanted? Have you ever wondered if you’re not living up to your full potential? Research shows most people regret the choices they didn't make and the chances they didn't take at the end of their life. Yet, I get how sometimes fear can paralyze you from moving forward with what you want most. Over the past several years, I've been learning how to walk by faith, moment by moment. And when I look back at my life, I realize this has been a journey that began a long time ago. I would never have left working in Federal law enforcement if I didn’t take the journey from fear to faith. When I made the decision to turn in my resignation, my dad wanted to know why I was going to move from the steady income of a 6-figure government gig... ... to a zero-dollars-promised opportunity opening up my own business. I had no business degree, knew no one who had ever owned a business, and was living 3000 miles away from my closest friend or family member. Still, I took the leap of faith and trusted a net would appear. That's what most folks don't get. You have to take the leap BEFORE the miracle can show up. The journey to get from there to where I am today wasn't a solo effort. The people around me shaped my growth. I chose to surround myself with folks who think differently — who have challenged me to grow and evolve way beyond what I knew. The right leadership and different communities I stepped into gave me the confidence to move forward, even when the path ahead wasn’t clear. That’s why I believe coaching and community are essential for anyone who wants to go beyond where they are at this moment. See, every day you get an opportunity to decide what you are going to do with your life. Moment by moment, time moves forward without regard to your answer. Where do you need to take a leap of faith? Remember, your life is simply the sum total of all of the choices you've made. If you’re not happy with where you’re at, make different choices. It really is that easy.  ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to examine your decisions and see where you might be playing it safe. Because comfort doesn't change the world.
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