Forgiveness Needed – How Can You Tell?

LisaMarie • August 10, 2020


What you say and how you say it matters more than you may think. 


Words carry enormous weight, and impact your direction, perception, and connection – and sometimes for a lifetime, giving you reason to pause and give up or the courage to move forward with something you want. 


In 8th grade my art teacher had us pair up and draw each other’s facial profile. 


While I don’t remember the purpose for the exercise, I do remember its outcome. 


Maria, the girl who drew me said, “Wow, I didn’t realize how pointy your nose was!” 


Well, for a girl at the blossoming age of 13, this felt like the end of the world. 


I was mortified and wanted to cry. I’m pretty sensitive and one of my mentors calls me “powder puff”. Back then, I was the biggest powder puff. 


Yet, I shrugged it off and pretended it didn’t bother me. 


For over 30 years I carried that statement with me, staring in the mirror at my nose that seemed to overshadow every other feature on my face. 


I looked at it, poked and prodded, and dreamt about plastic surgery. No matter at what angle I looked, it seemed to stand out like a flashing light, detracting from everything else that made me beautiful. 


Oh, how I wanted one of those cute button noses that all of the “pretty” girls had! 


Having a business is one of the greatest self-development experiences I’ve ever encountered. 


After opening my business, I realized that liking who I am was incredibly important for me to care deeply for others. 


So, I worked on liking myself and dare I say, loving myself. 


While I’m still a little self-conscious about my nose, I’ve learned to love who I am – nose and all. 


This is how powerful words can be. 


Words can shape perception and connection which is why I do my best to only speak from the Upside perspective, seeking to build others up. 


Today, this is even more important. 


As a leader, you have the ability and duty to build people up. It applies to everyone you meet – even those that may not deserve your good words. Everyone, even the rudest, most stressed-out colleague, stranger, or family member has the potential to be changed by your words. 


Choose to develop the people around you by what you say and how you say it. 


I’ve learned that the right words at the wrong time can be just as damaging as the wrong words, as there’ve been times in my life when I’ve dismissed the seriousness of a friend or family member’s pain. 


Sharing with them that they could have done “x” differently or to find the Upside hasn’t often been helpful. 


Understanding if or when to speak can make all the difference. 


Today, I do my best to come from a place of love first – and leave the advice giving, no matter how helpful I’m seeking to be, for another time. 


One of the qualities that has served me well in business is my ability to see what’s wrong in a situation, quickly assess it, and come up with a solution. 


While that has served me well in business, I’ve also learned that when you only see what’s wrong – and don’t look for the good too, people are hurt in the process. 


Everyone wants to be valued, appreciated, and loved. The words I use through acknowledgement are a verbal recognition/reflection that allow someone to experience all of those feelings. They get that they are “seen”. 


Finally, when encountering failure, words give the strength to move past the pain and continue on. 


After a series of business losses that felt like the end of the world, I was ready to close down Upside Thinking, Inc.. 


One of my business mentors gave me just the advice I needed to build my confidence, encouraging me to continue honoring the work I was called to do. 


His words gave me the peace of mind to trust that it would all work out in Divine Right Timing. 


Every day you get to influence the people around you by what you say and how you say it. 


Courageous, servant leaders getting the right words can make all the difference. 


ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to examine how your words impact others. 


The world needs you and your brilliance.


**Suzanne Dudley Schon, Coach, Speaker, and Author, is a catalyst who is passionate about helping people to see differently, think differently, and act differently so that they experience freedom, joy, and true success – as they define it — in every area of their lives. 


She graduated with a Degree in Psychology from Duke University, and beyond her academic studies, Coach Training, Reiki Training, and years of experience coaching clients, Suzanne considers her own life experience an invaluable source of her education. 


Her newly published book, Out Of The Box, A Journey In and Out of Emotional Captivity, has received rave reviews. And, Suzanne is also a trustee and board member of several non-profits, is a poet, actress, and the mother of two children, three step-children, and four geriatric dogs. 


Although she appears to be one of the WASPiest looking people in any given room, Suzanne is actually fluent in Spanish. The daughter of a Dominican woman and a New England born attorney, she credits the roulette wheel of DNA to her unusual combination of creative flare and pragmatism.




By Lisa Marie Platske October 20, 2025
Divine impatience. This is what my spiritual mentor and I have been talking about quite a bit. It's when you understand that lurking around the corner is the birthing of your new idea or new chapter, and God's timing is a little different than your own. You feel you're ready and it's time, yet nothing seems to be moving. This is very different than being stuck. I've discovered that all leaders go through this season. Some will put up a heck of a fight, and try to muscle their way forward. And I can promise you that never works. Others will throw up their hands and abdicate personal responsibility, excusing their lack of initiative and giving themselves a reason to sit back and do nothing. Divine Right Timing is truly "a thing" and no amount of force will have a door open when it's not to be opened yet. Yet that doesn't mean you step out of your life and wait. Growth happens moment by moment over time, not in a flash or an instant. You have a duty to keep moving forward while recognizing that your clock and God's may be set on different planes in the time and space continuum. I've learned to see the Divine perfection in everything... ...even when I hope what I want would show up a little faster. So much of leadership is learning to move in rhythm with Divine Right Timing. It’s listening, trusting and leaning in even when you don’t see the full picture yet. You begin to discern when to act and when to wait; when to take the next faithful step and when to let the path rise up to meet you. That’s not something you master overnight. It’s something you practice, in the pauses, in the tension, in the stretch between what is and what’s to come. So if you're in that space right now, where you feel the stirring, the readiness, the knowing and yet, nothing seems to be shifting, take heart . You're not doing anything wrong. You're not being ignored by God. You're being prepared. And when the door does open, you'll walk through it with the clarity, strength, and grace you gained in the waiting. That’s the Divine right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to take inventory of what you’ve been striving to control. Where are you trying to open a door that isn’t yours to open yet? Is there a situation where you’ve confused momentum with force? Write down three things you’re being called to trust, not fix. Then choose one aligned step that keeps you in motion without pushing against Divine Timing. Sometimes the wisest move is to walk in faith while the door gets ready for you.
By Lisa Marie Platske October 13, 2025
Jason struggled for years, trying everything he knew to do. First, he rebuilt his website. Then, he spent money getting people to listen to his podcast. Next, he mapped out a social media strategy with a digital marketing agency. Lastly, he went all in on paid advertising. He was working long hours and missing out on time with his family. And Jason’s bank account kept shrinking. He couldn’t figure out why nothing seemed to be working. That’s when we met. Jason was the older brother of a friend of mine, and she thought I could help him see the missing piece. I agreed to meet with him over Zoom. He was direct and told me he wasn’t sure why his sister wanted us to talk. I was direct with him, too, and shared that she had been watching him struggle in business, and believed the work I do could help jumpstart new opportunities. I shared my desire to listen and be of service — if he was open. Still a bit bristly in his demeanor, he said he wanted to hear what I had to say. After I asked a few questions, in about 30 minutes, he softened and started to open up about what was really going on behind closed doors in his business. I began putting the pieces together and could see that Jason thought he had to do business like everyone else — and it was killing him. He had spent the last 24 months trying to grow the business with very little to show for it, and his confidence had taken a hit. I saw through his bravado with a whole lot of tenderness — because I’ve been there. When you don’t stack the wins, everything around you starts to feel like a loss. You begin doubting your worth and value. And when that happens … ~ it’s hard to build a great website ... ~ it’s hard to write on social media ... ~ and it’s hard to attract the people you’re called to serve. Sometimes you can’t see what you need to shift, so you start chasing tactics trying to fix the problem. Rarely are tactics the issue behind a stunted career or a stalled business venture. If you don’t first figure out who you are, what you want, and why it matters, none of those other things will work for you. Then, you’ve got to get clear on your mission, values, and vision. From there, I look at the patterns that have been showing up. No one can see their own. When you get that all dialed in, bigger opportunities start to show up. Why? Because you’re contributing to the world unencumbered. And if you could see your own blocks, you’d already have removed them. Jason realized he couldn’t walk this journey alone any longer. The best leaders get that. So to get the greatest ROI, focus on leadership. Focusing on tactics, technology, AI, or other shiny objects won’t bring in the big paycheck. Jason and I worked together one-on-one and got his leadership IQ dialed in. Once he had clarity, I helped him write new marketing materials… …and the results were astounding — a 23% increase in gross sales. Today, he’s making a mark on the world. Jason didn’t need another strategy. He needed to remember who he was. And when he did, everything changed. This isn’t just Jason’s story. It’s the story of so many leaders who are gifted yet weighed down by things that aren’t theirs to carry. The world will always offer you another formula, another shortcut, or another distraction dressed up as the answer. None of it works if you’re disconnected from your mission and you’ve lost sight of your value. Leadership begins within. And real, soul-deep success is built on purpose, not performance. So if you’ve been chasing tactics and still feel like something’s missing, maybe it’s time to stop running and come home to yourself. That’s where your greatest work begins. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to assess what’s driving your actions. Are you doing this because it’s aligned — or because you think you should? For this week, write down the top 3 things you’re doing right now to grow your business or leadership. For each one, ask: Is this aligned with my mission or driven by pressure or expectation? Circle the one that feels most out of alignment, and then pause it for the next 7 days and notice what shifts. You don’t need to do more; you need to move with clarity.
By Lisa Marie Platske October 6, 2025
Each person’s life force is different. Some people move through life full throttle, operating at a level 10 every day and moving around at Mach speed. Others max out at five—or even one or two reps per minute. On any given day, you wake up with a certain amount of energy to work with. And you get to make decisions about what to do with that energy. Of all the actions you could possibly take, do you focus on what matters most to you? As the day unfolds, your life force begins to decrease. And when you’re not clear about what you say yes to, or what you say no to, you may discover there’s nothing left for what matters most. How you arrange your days, rhythm, and relationships determines whether your life and business will be sustainable over time. Most people move through life as if they’ve got an endless supply of energy to pull from. And when they don’t get everything done on their never-ending task list, they look around and assume they must be doing something wrong. Playing the comparison game will never lead you to health, happiness, success, or meaning. It won’t get you to peace or ease, either. What it will do is drain you ... quietly and consistently. Until you’re moving through your days exhausted, wondering why everything feels off. You weren’t made to run on empty. You wake up each day with a limited amount of life force. And where you invest it determines what grows. That’s the shift I help leaders make—honoring their capacity, aligning with what matters, and choosing to lead from a place of deep integrity and ease. Because the world doesn’t need a burnt-out version of you. It needs you and the brilliance only you carry. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to track your energy. Grab a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. Label one side “ Life-Giving ” and the other “ Draining .” As you go through your day, notice what energizes you and what depletes you. Write it down. Then, choose one draining item to shift, delegate, delay, or delete this week. Your energy is sacred and make sure to protect it.
By Lisa Marie Platske September 29, 2025
Everyone has seeds of excellence inside them. When those seeds are planted in rich and fertile soil, they grow into something magnificent, something life-giving. I see it as your brilliance coming to life. When those seeds are thrown on rocky soil with the hopes of producing fruit, its chances of surviving are slim. No matter what you're journey has been or what heartaches you may be experiencing now, you can always cultivate new soil. Yet I'm clear that to do that takes effort, purpose, and intention. Whenever I have conversations with folks who aren't happy with how they're life is going, they often bypass the little actions that produce big results over time . The key words are over time . Most folks want results yesterday ... and feel to see all of the ways that their current actions have gotten them right where they are. Looking in the mirror with 100% honesty isn't all that easy to do. I used to want to be the best or I didn't want to play. I remember this clearly when I was on the cross country team when I was in high school. It wasn't that others were more talented. God had given me a runners' build, and I enjoyed running. Yet I wasn't all that committed to practicing, and so when it was race time, I did poorly. Today I'm clear that if I can't be consistent, it isn't something I really want. Imperfect action is better than no action at all. Stay the course. The seeds you plant today may not bear fruit tomorrow. That doesn’t mean the work is wasted. What matters is that they’re sown with intention. Keep tending to what matters most. Keep showing up with courage and care. The world needs what only you can grow. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one part of your leadership that truly matters and pursue excellence in it. Pick a task or responsibility that holds weight in your role. Something that influences your business direction or shapes how your people grow. Then, take time to explore the latest trends or shifts in that space. Staying informed keeps your leadership relevant. Staying intentional keeps it aligned.
More Posts
By Lisa Marie Platske October 20, 2025
Divine impatience. This is what my spiritual mentor and I have been talking about quite a bit. It's when you understand that lurking around the corner is the birthing of your new idea or new chapter, and God's timing is a little different than your own. You feel you're ready and it's time, yet nothing seems to be moving. This is very different than being stuck. I've discovered that all leaders go through this season. Some will put up a heck of a fight, and try to muscle their way forward. And I can promise you that never works. Others will throw up their hands and abdicate personal responsibility, excusing their lack of initiative and giving themselves a reason to sit back and do nothing. Divine Right Timing is truly "a thing" and no amount of force will have a door open when it's not to be opened yet. Yet that doesn't mean you step out of your life and wait. Growth happens moment by moment over time, not in a flash or an instant. You have a duty to keep moving forward while recognizing that your clock and God's may be set on different planes in the time and space continuum. I've learned to see the Divine perfection in everything... ...even when I hope what I want would show up a little faster. So much of leadership is learning to move in rhythm with Divine Right Timing. It’s listening, trusting and leaning in even when you don’t see the full picture yet. You begin to discern when to act and when to wait; when to take the next faithful step and when to let the path rise up to meet you. That’s not something you master overnight. It’s something you practice, in the pauses, in the tension, in the stretch between what is and what’s to come. So if you're in that space right now, where you feel the stirring, the readiness, the knowing and yet, nothing seems to be shifting, take heart . You're not doing anything wrong. You're not being ignored by God. You're being prepared. And when the door does open, you'll walk through it with the clarity, strength, and grace you gained in the waiting. That’s the Divine right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to take inventory of what you’ve been striving to control. Where are you trying to open a door that isn’t yours to open yet? Is there a situation where you’ve confused momentum with force? Write down three things you’re being called to trust, not fix. Then choose one aligned step that keeps you in motion without pushing against Divine Timing. Sometimes the wisest move is to walk in faith while the door gets ready for you.
By Lisa Marie Platske October 13, 2025
Jason struggled for years, trying everything he knew to do. First, he rebuilt his website. Then, he spent money getting people to listen to his podcast. Next, he mapped out a social media strategy with a digital marketing agency. Lastly, he went all in on paid advertising. He was working long hours and missing out on time with his family. And Jason’s bank account kept shrinking. He couldn’t figure out why nothing seemed to be working. That’s when we met. Jason was the older brother of a friend of mine, and she thought I could help him see the missing piece. I agreed to meet with him over Zoom. He was direct and told me he wasn’t sure why his sister wanted us to talk. I was direct with him, too, and shared that she had been watching him struggle in business, and believed the work I do could help jumpstart new opportunities. I shared my desire to listen and be of service — if he was open. Still a bit bristly in his demeanor, he said he wanted to hear what I had to say. After I asked a few questions, in about 30 minutes, he softened and started to open up about what was really going on behind closed doors in his business. I began putting the pieces together and could see that Jason thought he had to do business like everyone else — and it was killing him. He had spent the last 24 months trying to grow the business with very little to show for it, and his confidence had taken a hit. I saw through his bravado with a whole lot of tenderness — because I’ve been there. When you don’t stack the wins, everything around you starts to feel like a loss. You begin doubting your worth and value. And when that happens … ~ it’s hard to build a great website ... ~ it’s hard to write on social media ... ~ and it’s hard to attract the people you’re called to serve. Sometimes you can’t see what you need to shift, so you start chasing tactics trying to fix the problem. Rarely are tactics the issue behind a stunted career or a stalled business venture. If you don’t first figure out who you are, what you want, and why it matters, none of those other things will work for you. Then, you’ve got to get clear on your mission, values, and vision. From there, I look at the patterns that have been showing up. No one can see their own. When you get that all dialed in, bigger opportunities start to show up. Why? Because you’re contributing to the world unencumbered. And if you could see your own blocks, you’d already have removed them. Jason realized he couldn’t walk this journey alone any longer. The best leaders get that. So to get the greatest ROI, focus on leadership. Focusing on tactics, technology, AI, or other shiny objects won’t bring in the big paycheck. Jason and I worked together one-on-one and got his leadership IQ dialed in. Once he had clarity, I helped him write new marketing materials… …and the results were astounding — a 23% increase in gross sales. Today, he’s making a mark on the world. Jason didn’t need another strategy. He needed to remember who he was. And when he did, everything changed. This isn’t just Jason’s story. It’s the story of so many leaders who are gifted yet weighed down by things that aren’t theirs to carry. The world will always offer you another formula, another shortcut, or another distraction dressed up as the answer. None of it works if you’re disconnected from your mission and you’ve lost sight of your value. Leadership begins within. And real, soul-deep success is built on purpose, not performance. So if you’ve been chasing tactics and still feel like something’s missing, maybe it’s time to stop running and come home to yourself. That’s where your greatest work begins. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to assess what’s driving your actions. Are you doing this because it’s aligned — or because you think you should? For this week, write down the top 3 things you’re doing right now to grow your business or leadership. For each one, ask: Is this aligned with my mission or driven by pressure or expectation? Circle the one that feels most out of alignment, and then pause it for the next 7 days and notice what shifts. You don’t need to do more; you need to move with clarity.
By Lisa Marie Platske October 6, 2025
Each person’s life force is different. Some people move through life full throttle, operating at a level 10 every day and moving around at Mach speed. Others max out at five—or even one or two reps per minute. On any given day, you wake up with a certain amount of energy to work with. And you get to make decisions about what to do with that energy. Of all the actions you could possibly take, do you focus on what matters most to you? As the day unfolds, your life force begins to decrease. And when you’re not clear about what you say yes to, or what you say no to, you may discover there’s nothing left for what matters most. How you arrange your days, rhythm, and relationships determines whether your life and business will be sustainable over time. Most people move through life as if they’ve got an endless supply of energy to pull from. And when they don’t get everything done on their never-ending task list, they look around and assume they must be doing something wrong. Playing the comparison game will never lead you to health, happiness, success, or meaning. It won’t get you to peace or ease, either. What it will do is drain you ... quietly and consistently. Until you’re moving through your days exhausted, wondering why everything feels off. You weren’t made to run on empty. You wake up each day with a limited amount of life force. And where you invest it determines what grows. That’s the shift I help leaders make—honoring their capacity, aligning with what matters, and choosing to lead from a place of deep integrity and ease. Because the world doesn’t need a burnt-out version of you. It needs you and the brilliance only you carry. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to track your energy. Grab a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. Label one side “ Life-Giving ” and the other “ Draining .” As you go through your day, notice what energizes you and what depletes you. Write it down. Then, choose one draining item to shift, delegate, delay, or delete this week. Your energy is sacred and make sure to protect it.
By Lisa Marie Platske September 29, 2025
Everyone has seeds of excellence inside them. When those seeds are planted in rich and fertile soil, they grow into something magnificent, something life-giving. I see it as your brilliance coming to life. When those seeds are thrown on rocky soil with the hopes of producing fruit, its chances of surviving are slim. No matter what you're journey has been or what heartaches you may be experiencing now, you can always cultivate new soil. Yet I'm clear that to do that takes effort, purpose, and intention. Whenever I have conversations with folks who aren't happy with how they're life is going, they often bypass the little actions that produce big results over time . The key words are over time . Most folks want results yesterday ... and feel to see all of the ways that their current actions have gotten them right where they are. Looking in the mirror with 100% honesty isn't all that easy to do. I used to want to be the best or I didn't want to play. I remember this clearly when I was on the cross country team when I was in high school. It wasn't that others were more talented. God had given me a runners' build, and I enjoyed running. Yet I wasn't all that committed to practicing, and so when it was race time, I did poorly. Today I'm clear that if I can't be consistent, it isn't something I really want. Imperfect action is better than no action at all. Stay the course. The seeds you plant today may not bear fruit tomorrow. That doesn’t mean the work is wasted. What matters is that they’re sown with intention. Keep tending to what matters most. Keep showing up with courage and care. The world needs what only you can grow. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one part of your leadership that truly matters and pursue excellence in it. Pick a task or responsibility that holds weight in your role. Something that influences your business direction or shapes how your people grow. Then, take time to explore the latest trends or shifts in that space. Staying informed keeps your leadership relevant. Staying intentional keeps it aligned.
More Posts