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Leaders Examine Information and Influence

LisaMarie • May 18, 2020


Several years ago, my business was growing and I prayed I would connect with the right person to hire…someone who would complement my work and coach clients giving them (and me) added depth as a leader. 


And, that’s when I met success coach and emotional resilience expert, Suzanne Dudley-Schon. Over the past several years we’ve worked together, we’ve each grown our own growth edges – and had a ton of fun along the way. 


Suzanne understands that the beingness of leadership matters more than the doingness of leadership. You can take all of the tactical leadership actions that generate success – and not be a leader worth following. 


This week, I’ve asked her to be a guest writer for the Upside Thinker on the topic of thinking about your thinking. 


Happy Reading!


******************************************************************* 


Look at what you are looking at. Look at what we are looking at. 


As a society, we have become pretty aware, in some cases hyper aware, of what we are putting into our physical bodies.


Are we watchful of what we are feeding our minds and our spirits?


Whether through research studies, articles in Psychology today, or even good old common sense, we know that our brains and bodies are wired to adopt habits to survive. Using habits we conserve energy and mental bandwidth. We learn routines. We become more efficient. And, like the animals that we are—we can be trained whether by choice or default.


Think about how you brush your teeth. Make coffee. Load the dishwasher.


Once you have established routines they are stubbornly difficult to change. Sometimes that’s great. Sometimes it’s not. 


Because the knowledge of our trainability and predisposition for routine is widely understood, there are countless businesses that have made it their mission to utilize this information to benefit their bottom line. This can happen through marketing or in the consumption of the product. Take a closer look at commercials and what they activate. And habits we have around our cell phones? They are entirely Pavlovian driven (remember how dogs respond to the bell… and started salivating?). 


Yeah… that’s us.


I would posit where we haven’t looked enough, is in the nefarious use of fear. Yes, fear—that primal force that essentially subjugates our ability to access executive function and reverts us into the reptilian responses of fight, flight, freeze, and submit.


Sometimes it’s sneaky… like a low-grade fear of missing out. Or fear of social failure (don’t have the right dress, shoes, lipstick, abs, thighs or nose, oh no!).


And sometimes we sign up for it for “fun”—watching a movie that scares the socks off of us. We lap up the temporary adrenaline pump and rush of relief we feel afterwards. 


And sometimes we sign up for it thinking we are being responsible adults. We read, watch, and listen to the news. We want to stay current.


When I was eight, it meant curling up in my dad’s lap to watch Walter Cronkite deliver neutral information about the nation and world. It was measured and reassuring because we were learning about what was important to be aware of as citizens. The news was meant to inform. Hence—inform-ation. While not all of the content was cheery, there was a sense of it being simply, “what was occurring.” The feeling was not that much different than the way it felt when my sisters would fight with my parents: discordant for sure, but underlying the disharmony or conflict was fundamental love and safety.


Now we have news giants. Media machines cranking out… product. Product to drive profits into their coffers, a drive to get people… watching. The headlines are crafted to grab you by the throat, make your pulse shoot up, alarm you until your bloodstream is flooded with cortisol.


We are learning what seems to be dire information that frightens, causes worry, and sets off fear responses to which the brain determines, quite swiftly, is important to stay on top of from here on out. Think how quickly one learns not to poke a hive of hornets, where the hornets are located, and to be on the lookout for them at every turn.


After all, aren’t our decisions as good as the information we have? We try to learn in order to protect. So now, we will go to that news source to find out the latest. We soak up the newest alarming headline so that we’re “up to date,” “informed, ” current, “aware of what’s relevant.” Again and again and again. Soon our heads are spinning with confusion and panic. In danger, instinctively, automatically, habitually we return to feed on “news.” We are hooked. Addicted.


Few people notice they have been ensnared. Not many can pay close attention because we are cranking through our days over-stimulated and under-connected, in relationship with our phones more than our partners, and consuming the news like a lemur pressing a lever to get a raisin.


Because of the bots and algorithms driving the news and Facebook feeds, we are getting more and more curated content that polarizes us with every click. Opinions and fears and emotional reactions are engrained deeper and deeper into the neural grooves of our exquisite brains.


We are puppets, terror dripped into us through the IV of TV or whatever your particular “source.”


Yes, and…


I write this fervently because yesterday I succumbed. I forgot. Failed to be aware of the flood of news I was ingesting until I found myself barely able to do work, wringing my hands, and alternating between catatonia and bouts of weeping, awash in despair. I fell in deep and was sinking fast. I had to do something.


I pulled out an old improvisation tool. The, “Yes, and…” It’s a way of getting a scene un-stuck. And, as a life and leadership coach, I’ve applied it for years to help clients move forward, and as a parent I invoke it’s special powers multiple times a day, and I’ve used it personally for my own mental health and survival.


To use, “yes, and…” you acknowledge “what is” and go from there. (If you say, “no” or “but,” it stops the scene and requires even more effort to get it going again.) 


So, yesterday, I spoke it aloud: “yes… (it is how it is)… AND… (What can I do in this very moment?). I applied it. And started to ask myself what I might do to help others and myself. I took care of some menial tasks to get the ball rolling– gave the dogs their medication. Laundry. Wrote a long overdue thank you note. Paid some bills. Prepared dinner with my family. Thought about how fortunate I am.


Having some personal traction, then I looked to the bigger picture.


What could I do about the news that had me so undone? Only what I had under my control. I turned it off. Covid-19 and all it’s spikiness would still be there. The facts and figures would still scroll if I turned away to take care of myself. Take a walk. Listen to music.


If we push pause, literally and figuratively, we have choice and freedom restored in an instant. The single act of disconnecting – from whatever it is that might be toxic to our systems—is powerful. It is the tipping point, the pivot between an exhale and inhale. It is the bounteous opportunity held in every moment… that we tend to forget, or forget that we have available within reach. Always.


Once we pause, putting on hold the fast-moving trains of commerce and thought, we hold infinite possibilities.


Currently, we have an external situation that is forcing pause and retreat. And what exactly is retreat? What does it look like in our lives? What is it we are retreating from? And what are we retreating to?


Given the current covid-19 pandemic crisis, we have an externally imposed pause and in many cases order to “retreat.”


In this retreat time, I have read wonderful articles and blogs suggesting making “quarantine goals,” that are goals comprised of the things we tend to push down the road for a rainy day activity. The goals we never end up doing because we tend to live under the tyranny of the urgent. Goals like reading a book, writing a letter, cleaning a closet, and making bread.


From a business perspective, we can examine what to do in response to the current situation. How can we adapt so we are still relevant? How can we adjust in the short and the long term to become more nimble? Fluidity, uncertainty, and constant change will become more and more the way of the future.


Other personal recommendations include connecting with friends and family through the many platforms available these days –from a phone call to a Zoom virtual cocktail party, yoga, or cooking class.


Most importantly this retreat time might be invaluable for us to realign with our deeper purpose. Time to identify our unique gifts. 


Are you good at making people laugh? Are you handy? Able to buy a neighbor a meal from a restaurant offering take-out so that it’s a win-win-in many directions?


What I have shared with my family is that we might look to do one thing each day that is a gesture of care and kindness for oneself, one’s family (however we define that and consider to be our “family”) and the greater community. 


In this way, people can identify their value as a human, not as a dollar sign or a job title. It brings us back to our true selves, not a chosen identity. Our cores—made of light and love.


When we bring ourselves back to our essentials selves, isn’t it easier to recognize that we are all one? That we all have value? That we all have gifts and innate beauty? And from this nakedness, we see our strength, our resilience, and can combine to be extraordinary and oh so luminous.


Along with being a credentialed leadership and life coach for over 12 years, I recently went through training as a yoga teacher. This physical, mental, and spiritual practice has brought me a renewed sense of peace and connection. From it, one of the many gifts I received and carry with me is the use (in language and in action) of the word, Namaste, which basically means, the beauty and the light in me, honors and sees the beauty and the light in you. It is about the interconnectedness of us all.


Can you imagine the impact of this scenario on a larger scale? What if we paused our newsfeeds, retreated in a moment of breath and peace, and came to look away from our screens and instead to the light in ourselves and others? 


I see it happening. Yesterday, a woman who lives down the road delivered daffodils to each neighbor as a little surprise of spring. A friend’s son wore a Santa hat for three days straight. The local general store partnered with the bookstore to deliver goods and books. A viral video of a little girl advising people in Spanish about the corona virus, who’s parting words were, “Listen to me and repeat after me, ‘Todo va estar bien. Todo va estar bien (Everything will be okay, everything will be okay).’”


And it will be.


Especially, if we look … with care. 


ACTION: The Upside Challenge for this week is to first, notice if you need to change your information diet to be one that fills you with good energy, balance, and insight.


Second, each day this week, try to do something that is good for you, good for your family (chosen or biological), and for the good of the community beyond your family.


As Lisa Marie says, the world needs you and your brilliance.

By Lisa Marie Platske 14 Mar, 2024
The worst part of my business is seeing people with potential and watching them squander away their opportunities, understanding that if they put the work in and did it with consistent effort, they would be successful. Massively successful. Sure, they may have to make a few sacrifices. How do you think I got to where I'm at today?!? Instead, I see many folks with potential choose the path of least resistance, making excuses for their plight. I didn't get a silver spoon; rather, I graduated from The School of Hard Knocks. You've got to believe you can achieve what you want -- and that you're worthy to have it. This determines what's possible as it's the seed that will produce delicious fruit or not. You can't choose actions and make decisions from a place of lack or scarcity. That only leads to negative results. To change the success cycle, you have to first see the outcome you want, and then believe it's possible because your mind can't tell the difference between what is imagined and what is real. This goes back to the body of work that Aristotle and Plato brought to the world. If you can start to envision what your life will be like putting in the effort and getting the results, you can change the momentum in your life. Most people only envision the result -- and not the work. They see the car they want to drive or the house they want to live in, and forget to envision what they are willing to do to put forth the effort, energy, and work to have what they want. I've learned the more I do the hard things, the easier my life gets. When I do the easy things, the harder my life gets. Believe in yourself and take the necessary actions. If you don't think what you want is possible, borrow my belief in you. The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to pick one area of your life where you've been making excuses or taking the path of least resistance. Identify the potential you have in this area that you have not fully tapped into if you were to do the work. Visualize in detail what it would look like and feel like if you put in the effort and achieved the success you desire. Let yourself believe at your core that you are capable of making it happen. Then, write down 1-3 small, specific action steps you can take this week to start making progress. They should feel challenging and actionable. Remember, the only limits on your potential are the ones you place on yourself. That's the power of Upside Thinking.
By Lisa Marie Platske 11 Mar, 2024
There's a simple daily practice that will increase your success, and you just may be undervaluing it. If you knew doing it would GUARANTEE ~ clarity, ~ happiness, and ~ meaning, would you ignore it because it was simple? I'm talking about the power of gratitude. Gratitude isn't an emotion. It's also not a "nice-to-do" practice. Gratitude is a habit that, when implemented, has the ability to remind you of your commitments and why they matter. There are studies that link it to emotional well-being. Regardless of what shows up to derail you and take you off track, gratitude has the ability to keep you on course. Start your day with it in the morning for clarity on your daily tasks. End your day by acknowledging all you did and expressing thanks, even for the challenges that popped up. Speak it aloud and tell someone. Gratitude practiced daily uplifts everyone around you. I spent the last week on the farm with my baby sister. Our time together was an immense blessing to me and my business. I'm deeply grateful for the people in my life, as well as having the ability to rest and refuel my tank before traveling to speak and see clients again. How about you? Who are you most grateful for right now? ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to start and end each day by writing down 3 things for which you are grateful. Take just a few minutes in the morning and before bed to reflect deeply on what you appreciate and why. Think about small joys as well as big blessings. Keep your list somewhere you'll see it often as a reminder to stay grateful. Speak it out loud and choose to share your list with someone. Gratitude shared multiplies its benefits. Remember, the World Needs You and Your Brilliance. 
By Lisa Marie Platske 07 Mar, 2024
Receiving is better than giving. This is something that took decades for me to learn, and I feel it’s deeply misunderstood. Most people struggle to receive, having grown up with the mantra, "It’s better to give than receive." Yet, if that’s true, where does what you have to give come from? Didn’t you have to receive something first – in order to be able to give?!? And if you are giving something, doesn’t someone else have to be open to receiving it?!? It’s incredibly important to be a receiver of goodness in life. A great example of this is... I’m a hugger. When hugging, you have the opportunity to do both. See, the effects of touch on the body are long-lasting. For children and adults alike, the physiological effects of positive touch are: ~ Reduced stress and anxiety ~ Stronger immune system ~ Increased circulation And research shows babies who receive affection have a greater chance of living happier, healthier lives. That’s why when I choose to hug someone, it’s an action I am deeply present for. I’m transferring my energy – my soul imprint – onto the person I’m hugging. Some people want to pull away because they haven’t yet learned how to receive and are uncomfortable with the giving that’s going on. Have you learned how to be a good receiver? For without receiving, there can be no giving. That's putting leadership into action. On a side note, 1.3 million social media messages have been about giving - while there are only 80,000 on receiving! ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to consciously practice receiving from others with an open heart. When someone extends an act of kindness, words of affirmation, a gift, or even just their presence - don't deflect or downplay it. Fully take in what they are offering you without judgement. Receive the love, guidance, and support that life continually provides. Being a generous receiver is just as important as being a generous giver. The world needs more conscious leaders who know when to step back and receive what is being offered for their highest good. 
By Lisa Marie Platske 04 Mar, 2024
Delicate times. That’s the best way I can describe the world today. My choice to remain upside with all that swirls around me and in me doesn’t mean I’m oblivious to the pain going on in the world. Most days I’m engaged in difficult, and often emotionally-charged conversations, and at times with people whose views differ from mine. Most days I experience bouts of uncertainty, questioning what I’m being asked – dare I say, called by the Holy Spirit -- to do with my life. Many days the conversations are with folks, ranging in age from 21-71, who are dealing with addictions, trauma, and grief. Usually, there is also anger associated with each of these situations. That doesn't mean they're raving lunatics. You probably couldn't tell as the anger, guilt, and shame are internal. I'm honored to do this leadership work because I understand it. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “ For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness. ” After 9/11, I was angry. Very, very angry. This anger was the culmination of years of anger, and until I learned where my anger came from and I shifted the way I saw the world, I rarely felt really happy. I see a lot of that going on right now. In 2001, I made the decision I didn’t want anger to be my operating system where I traded in my happiness for the pain that was behind the anger. There are things that are going on in the world right now that anger me greatly, and I focus my energy on taking positive action. And, I make room to grieve. Happiness is a state of being. While you may experience joy here and there, if your neuro-network allows anger to run the show, you stop yourself from choosing happiness and being happy. By holding on to anger for too long in any given situation, you harm yourself. There are certain techniques I use to release anger and grief. For starters, to release anger, I identify what it is I am angry about and why. I examine the content and the context. Then I decide to take the energy created by the emotion and consciously direct it into a constructive action. By taking positive action, I de-energize the situation, detach from the content to focus my action, and am freed up to move forward without baggage. I also do a forgiveness exercise. While simple, it's not a 'once and done' activity. You deserve to be happy. The best leaders get this. Not from a place of ignorance, rather from a place of choice. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to practice consciously releasing anger and choosing happiness instead. When you notice yourself feeling angry about a situation, pause and reflect : - What specifically is triggering this anger? Name it. - What past experiences or patterns may this be bringing up for you? - How might this situation look from the other person's perspective? - What constructive action could you take to improve things? Then, make a deliberate choice to release the anger and redirect that energy into positive change, rather than fueling negativity. Let go of what you cannot control. Forgive others and yourself. Finally, do something that brings you joy - listen to uplifting music, get outdoors, call a friend, play with a pet. Your leadership is defined not by an easy life. It is by how you meet adversity, wisdom, compassion and courage. The world needs beacons of hope that remind us happiness is a choice, in any moment. 
More Posts
By Lisa Marie Platske 14 Mar, 2024
The worst part of my business is seeing people with potential and watching them squander away their opportunities, understanding that if they put the work in and did it with consistent effort, they would be successful. Massively successful. Sure, they may have to make a few sacrifices. How do you think I got to where I'm at today?!? Instead, I see many folks with potential choose the path of least resistance, making excuses for their plight. I didn't get a silver spoon; rather, I graduated from The School of Hard Knocks. You've got to believe you can achieve what you want -- and that you're worthy to have it. This determines what's possible as it's the seed that will produce delicious fruit or not. You can't choose actions and make decisions from a place of lack or scarcity. That only leads to negative results. To change the success cycle, you have to first see the outcome you want, and then believe it's possible because your mind can't tell the difference between what is imagined and what is real. This goes back to the body of work that Aristotle and Plato brought to the world. If you can start to envision what your life will be like putting in the effort and getting the results, you can change the momentum in your life. Most people only envision the result -- and not the work. They see the car they want to drive or the house they want to live in, and forget to envision what they are willing to do to put forth the effort, energy, and work to have what they want. I've learned the more I do the hard things, the easier my life gets. When I do the easy things, the harder my life gets. Believe in yourself and take the necessary actions. If you don't think what you want is possible, borrow my belief in you. The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to pick one area of your life where you've been making excuses or taking the path of least resistance. Identify the potential you have in this area that you have not fully tapped into if you were to do the work. Visualize in detail what it would look like and feel like if you put in the effort and achieved the success you desire. Let yourself believe at your core that you are capable of making it happen. Then, write down 1-3 small, specific action steps you can take this week to start making progress. They should feel challenging and actionable. Remember, the only limits on your potential are the ones you place on yourself. That's the power of Upside Thinking.
By Lisa Marie Platske 11 Mar, 2024
There's a simple daily practice that will increase your success, and you just may be undervaluing it. If you knew doing it would GUARANTEE ~ clarity, ~ happiness, and ~ meaning, would you ignore it because it was simple? I'm talking about the power of gratitude. Gratitude isn't an emotion. It's also not a "nice-to-do" practice. Gratitude is a habit that, when implemented, has the ability to remind you of your commitments and why they matter. There are studies that link it to emotional well-being. Regardless of what shows up to derail you and take you off track, gratitude has the ability to keep you on course. Start your day with it in the morning for clarity on your daily tasks. End your day by acknowledging all you did and expressing thanks, even for the challenges that popped up. Speak it aloud and tell someone. Gratitude practiced daily uplifts everyone around you. I spent the last week on the farm with my baby sister. Our time together was an immense blessing to me and my business. I'm deeply grateful for the people in my life, as well as having the ability to rest and refuel my tank before traveling to speak and see clients again. How about you? Who are you most grateful for right now? ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to start and end each day by writing down 3 things for which you are grateful. Take just a few minutes in the morning and before bed to reflect deeply on what you appreciate and why. Think about small joys as well as big blessings. Keep your list somewhere you'll see it often as a reminder to stay grateful. Speak it out loud and choose to share your list with someone. Gratitude shared multiplies its benefits. Remember, the World Needs You and Your Brilliance. 
By Lisa Marie Platske 07 Mar, 2024
Receiving is better than giving. This is something that took decades for me to learn, and I feel it’s deeply misunderstood. Most people struggle to receive, having grown up with the mantra, "It’s better to give than receive." Yet, if that’s true, where does what you have to give come from? Didn’t you have to receive something first – in order to be able to give?!? And if you are giving something, doesn’t someone else have to be open to receiving it?!? It’s incredibly important to be a receiver of goodness in life. A great example of this is... I’m a hugger. When hugging, you have the opportunity to do both. See, the effects of touch on the body are long-lasting. For children and adults alike, the physiological effects of positive touch are: ~ Reduced stress and anxiety ~ Stronger immune system ~ Increased circulation And research shows babies who receive affection have a greater chance of living happier, healthier lives. That’s why when I choose to hug someone, it’s an action I am deeply present for. I’m transferring my energy – my soul imprint – onto the person I’m hugging. Some people want to pull away because they haven’t yet learned how to receive and are uncomfortable with the giving that’s going on. Have you learned how to be a good receiver? For without receiving, there can be no giving. That's putting leadership into action. On a side note, 1.3 million social media messages have been about giving - while there are only 80,000 on receiving! ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to consciously practice receiving from others with an open heart. When someone extends an act of kindness, words of affirmation, a gift, or even just their presence - don't deflect or downplay it. Fully take in what they are offering you without judgement. Receive the love, guidance, and support that life continually provides. Being a generous receiver is just as important as being a generous giver. The world needs more conscious leaders who know when to step back and receive what is being offered for their highest good. 
By Lisa Marie Platske 04 Mar, 2024
Delicate times. That’s the best way I can describe the world today. My choice to remain upside with all that swirls around me and in me doesn’t mean I’m oblivious to the pain going on in the world. Most days I’m engaged in difficult, and often emotionally-charged conversations, and at times with people whose views differ from mine. Most days I experience bouts of uncertainty, questioning what I’m being asked – dare I say, called by the Holy Spirit -- to do with my life. Many days the conversations are with folks, ranging in age from 21-71, who are dealing with addictions, trauma, and grief. Usually, there is also anger associated with each of these situations. That doesn't mean they're raving lunatics. You probably couldn't tell as the anger, guilt, and shame are internal. I'm honored to do this leadership work because I understand it. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “ For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness. ” After 9/11, I was angry. Very, very angry. This anger was the culmination of years of anger, and until I learned where my anger came from and I shifted the way I saw the world, I rarely felt really happy. I see a lot of that going on right now. In 2001, I made the decision I didn’t want anger to be my operating system where I traded in my happiness for the pain that was behind the anger. There are things that are going on in the world right now that anger me greatly, and I focus my energy on taking positive action. And, I make room to grieve. Happiness is a state of being. While you may experience joy here and there, if your neuro-network allows anger to run the show, you stop yourself from choosing happiness and being happy. By holding on to anger for too long in any given situation, you harm yourself. There are certain techniques I use to release anger and grief. For starters, to release anger, I identify what it is I am angry about and why. I examine the content and the context. Then I decide to take the energy created by the emotion and consciously direct it into a constructive action. By taking positive action, I de-energize the situation, detach from the content to focus my action, and am freed up to move forward without baggage. I also do a forgiveness exercise. While simple, it's not a 'once and done' activity. You deserve to be happy. The best leaders get this. Not from a place of ignorance, rather from a place of choice. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to practice consciously releasing anger and choosing happiness instead. When you notice yourself feeling angry about a situation, pause and reflect : - What specifically is triggering this anger? Name it. - What past experiences or patterns may this be bringing up for you? - How might this situation look from the other person's perspective? - What constructive action could you take to improve things? Then, make a deliberate choice to release the anger and redirect that energy into positive change, rather than fueling negativity. Let go of what you cannot control. Forgive others and yourself. Finally, do something that brings you joy - listen to uplifting music, get outdoors, call a friend, play with a pet. Your leadership is defined not by an easy life. It is by how you meet adversity, wisdom, compassion and courage. The world needs beacons of hope that remind us happiness is a choice, in any moment. 
More Posts
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