When I first opened my business, I was excited about the possibilities.
I felt strong and mighty like a superhero, ready to save the world.
It didn’t take too long before I felt as if I felt my business had swallowed me whole and I couldn’t recognize who I was or what was most important to me.
All I did was work.
Fast forward 15 years later, and I’ve designed my destiny, living life on my terms getting to spend time doing what matters most to me, traveling and spending time with Jim.
Recently, I watched a TED talk from a critical care EMT who spoke about the regrets people shared when they were at the end of their lives.
Those regrets are the same ones that have been talked about for the past several decades.
I wish I had made different choices. No one spoke about the right car or handbag, rather how life got in the way of what was truly important to them. One man said he wished he had spent more time with his family vs. being selfish with his time, and he was seeking forgiveness.
I wish I had done more with my life. One woman recalled all she was going to do with her life someday – yet she put off pursuing her passion and calling.
I wish I had created a legacy. Everyone wants to be remembered – to understand their life mattered and they are leaving a positive impact through their words and deeds.
When you look at your own leadership journey where do you stand?
It’s important to create a personal and professional life so you don’t end up with these regrets.
Are you designing your destiny in ways that allow you to fulfill your mission and calling, make an impact, and leave a legacy for years to come?
First, this means be clear what your non-negotiables are.
I speak about this in detail on day #2 at Design Your Destiny Live and it’s foundational when working with coaching clients.
You’ve got to be clear about what you truly want in your life in order to do this.
When you look back at your life, would you be happy with your choices?
I take time off to travel every 6 – 8 weeks.
It’s a contract I made with myself when I opened my business – and today I honor that.
Sometimes it’s traveling to exciting foreign destinations like Prague, Milan, Barcelona, or Buenos Aires where I get to eat great food and meet beautiful people.
Other times, it’s to a new state or on a silent retreat where I get to spend time in quiet reflection.
Either way, it’s a non-negotiable.
If you don’t protect your priorities, they will disappear in the torrent of what feels urgent.
Second, be clear about your purpose.
When you are doing work that is fully aligned with your mission and calling, it doesn’t feel like work.
You’re more fulfilled – and can’t figure out why you would do anything else.
And, finally be clear on where you’re headed.
According to leadership research from Kouzes and Posner, the 2nd most important characteristic people want in a leader is to be forward-thinking.
This is because everyone wants to understand where they’re going.
Leaders need a clear destination to champion. With a clear destination leaders and those that follow them have a focus and motivation when the going gets tough.
The same is true for you.
You can’t stay focused on the journey if you don’t know where you’re headed!
Once you’re clear on the destination, you can create the habits, processes, and team to support you in order to move forward with ease and grace.
Remember, you only have one destiny to design.
Choose to fully live out your gifts, abilities, talents and experiences.
The Upside Challenge of the week is to take time to examine what road you are on (in any area of your life) that leads to regret.
Decide to be your own advocate.
Pick ONE action to take on behalf of your future self.
Be courageous so that your future self will be peaceful rather than regretful.
The world needs you and your brilliance.