The Best Road Through, Starts Within

LisaMarie • December 16, 2019

 

Four+ years ago, my business was growing and I said a prayer specifically asking to be sent someone who would complement my work and be able to coach my clients in a way that would give them added depth as a leader.


God (through Barb Wade) sent me success coach and emotional resilience expert, Suzanne Dudley-Schon.


What I love about Suzanne is how she gets that the beingness of leadership matters more than the doingness of leadership.


You can have all of the right leadership systems in place – and still not be a leader worth following.


This week, I’ve asked her to write this blog post for the Upside Thinker on the topic of designing your destiny.


Happy Reading!


In a typical day you can be exposed to thousands of images, whether on billboards, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, YouTube, films, videos, or magazine covers. The visual onslaught, while seemingly processed in the blink of an eye, may ultimately leave you feeling confused and infused with lurking doubt.


The visual presentation can fool you into believing it is a perfect representation of the real thing. Soon you may make comparisons and find your business, your life, and your self… lacking. 


You can jump into action and get lost in the frenzy of trying to achieve and be seen as having achieved. That…that image. And then end up in David Byrne’s song, “Once in a Lifetime”– looking like someone you don’t recognize, standing in a house that doesn’t feel like yours. Asking yourself,


What happened? What’s missing? How did I get here?


In racing after the image and trying to look good in it—your own compass often falls out of your proverbial pocket.


You end up living someone else’s life—probably the one you thought was on that billboard–only to discover that you are standing in your living room hugging painted cardboard. 


You got attached to the idea of what was represented. When in reality, your own version of that would be quite different. 


Because yours would be designed from your own heart’s calling—inside to out, rather than outside to in. 


You can’t walk on a movie set and then magically have a different life. 


You have to build the real thing—day by day, hour by hour, and choice by choice. And without having that compass or “set of plans” that is uniquely yours, you will be building someone else’s … or at best, it’ll be a generic “spec” one that could be anyone’s.


Who you are is formed by what you believe in and what holds meaning for you. 


Find that out. Get clear on what matters to you and why.


Then start building. You will soon find that you are intuitively picking up the right wood, finding the tools, generating the energy, surrounding yourself with people to help and guide you, and friends that are committed to your success.


Action:

The Upside Challenge of the week is to schedule some quiet time to review what you value the most. There is no right or wrong answer. Does your life reflect what you value? No matter “where” you find yourself, recommit to these values. Ensure your daily actions (and how you prioritize them) align accordingly. Notice how small mindful decisions add up. What new habits can support you in this effort?


As Lisa Marie says, the world needs you and your brilliance!



Suzanne Dudley Schon is the founder of CCC Coaching Solutions, a coaching firm that teaches clients how to create freedom, joy, and success in their business and career. 


Her clients include corporate executives, speakers, professors, and creatives including successful fine artists and show business professionals.


Suzanne is also a celebrated author. Her book Out of the Box; A Journey In and Out of Emotional Captivity, details her own journey to freedom from domestic violence a topic for which she is often asked to speak. She co-authored Is Oasis For You? and is a regular contributor to UnderstandingCompassion.com. Her poetry is widely published in literary magazines and in a new book out this year with Blue Light Press. 


Highly credentialed, Suzanne holds a psychology degree from Duke University, as well as credentialing from the International Coach Federation, and is a Certified Master Oasis Trainer, Certified Narrative Coach Core Practitioner, and trained in Reiki, Somatic Experiencing, and Vinyasa Yoga.


In addition to her own coaching business, Suzanne is entering her fourth year as a coach for Upside Thinking, Inc. where she brings fresh insights to clients on how to design their destiny and grow their business.


Involved in countless civic activities, she is also the CEO of Vine Street Associates, CFO of a family foundation, a trustee for the Montshire Museum of Science, and has served for 20 years on the board of Waypoint (Child and Family Services).


An award-winning actress and former champion hunter/jumper rider, Suzanne understands what it takes to succeed. A little bit feisty, she also adds humor and fun to work. 


One of her most joyful achievements is parenting– her two children and three step-children; all currently in various states of fledging. Although she appears to be one of the WASPiest looking people in any given room, Suzanne is actually the daughter of a Dominican woman, speaks fluent Spanish and really excellent improvised gibberish. 

By Lisa Marie Platske July 7, 2025
Independence Day has just passed, and this year, it holds even deeper meaning for me. Twenty years ago, right around this time of year, I made a decision that would forever change my life. Back then, I believed leadership was about tactics. ~ How well you could communicate. ~ How skillfully you could negotiate. ~ How strategically you could build influence. I threw myself into learning every tool, every technique, every system I could find. I believed that if I mastered the tactical side of leadership, success would naturally follow. For a while, it looked like it was working. I traveled, I spoke, I trained leaders across industries. I had a seat at the table where big decisions were made. From the outside, everything seemed to be lining up the way it should. Inside, though, something was missing. No matter how many tools I taught, no matter how many strategies people mastered, they kept coming back saying, "It’s still not working." If I was honest, I felt the same way too. It was not a tactical problem. It was a spiritual one. In the early years, I spent all my energy giving people what I thought they needed. I handed them the best "wineskins" the world had to offer. The Bible talks about wineskins, and how you cannot pour new wine into old wineskins. If you do, the skins will burst and the wine will spill. The old wineskin, the way of doing leadership without being deeply connected to your Divine purpose, was not producing fruit - not lasting fruit. When I finally saw that, everything shifted. It became clear that leadership was not about tactics alone. ~ It was about who you are, what you want and why it matters. ~ It was about uncovering the Divine purpose planted within you before the world told you who you should be. Because if you are not aligned with your purpose, it does not matter how many tools you master. The foundation will not hold and the fruit will not last. Today, my work looks very different than it did twenty years ago. I still share tools, and I still value practical skills. These are important. They only make a lasting impact, when the heart-work is done first. That is why I created the Upside Leaders program , the Upside Retreats , and the Upside Thinking Live . Each one is designed to help you anchor deeply into your who you are, what you want and why it matters, so you can lead from a place of truth, not just tactics. As I celebrate this milestone, I want to thank you. Whether you have been part of this community for years or you just recently joined, you are part of the story that God continues to write. And there is so much more ahead... ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to set a timer for 10 minutes and create a " Release and Receive" list. Write down one habit, strategy, or belief about leadership that no longer aligns with who you are, then physically cross it off, shred it, or throw it away as a sign of release. Immediately after, write one new action you will take this week that reflects the leader you are being shaped into and schedule it on your calendar. Transformation does not happen by wishing for change, it happens when you move in faith toward it.
By Lisa Marie Platske June 30, 2025
The greater something is to your personal growth and evolution, the more resistance or push-back you will experience from the world and the people you love. Think about that. You’ve got a force inside of you that works against your desire to be better. In his 2002 book, “ The War of Art” , Steven Pressfield talks about this inner force as "the resistance". This inner force or resistance you feel creates distractions to take you off-course from fully stepping into who you're called to be. Activities like… Scrolling through Instagram Watching your favorite TV show or movie Shopping for more cool stuff … may seem fun yet they aren't designed to get you closer to what you want most in life. They also won’t move you forward in every single area of your life. And yet, you still find yourself doing them. Why? Because Resistance is subtle. It doesn’t shout—it settles. It lulls you into routine. Resistance may pull you into a comfortable groove where you just keep doing what you’ve been doing, ... and someday you wake up wondering, “How did I get here?!?” You’re not off track for feeling this way. You’re simply at a pivotal point, one that asks you to decide who you’re becoming. Moments like this aren’t meant to be rushed. They’re invitations to rise, realign, and remember what matters most. Resistance is where the growth is. It’s time to push back against it. What are you waiting for? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one area—leadership, relationships, health, or spiritual growth—and make one intentional move in that space. Do it with presence. Do it on purpose. Here are a few ideas: Begin your day by speaking one thing you’re grateful for. Hold off on replying to that text until you can be fully present. Take 60 seconds before a meeting to get still and set your intention. You don’t need more tasks. You need aligned action.
By Lisa Marie Platske June 23, 2025
You probably don’t want to be in the same place a week from now, let alone a year from now. Yet, you keep doing the same thing over and over and over again, expecting different results. You would never add 1 + 1 again and again — and expect your answer to be 3. So, stop doing the same things over and over hoping that you’ll magically be where you want to be — and everything you want for your life and business will come to fruition. Sometimes you need a new way of being, thinking, and living. That was one of the hardest lessons I've ever learned. Not knowing a lot about how to start a business, I relied on what I thought was the wisdom from other business owners. I didn't make decisions based on whether the people I had hired and listened to were 1) where I wanted to be, or 2) who I wanted to be when I got there. I looked at success as having a formula, and I just wanted to know what that formula was so I could get my piece of the pie. As each week went by, I got further and further away from the values I held dear before I started my entrepreneurial journey. I found that I was making decisions based on what seemed like I had to do versus what I wanted to do. So much of my day was spent chasing "opportunities" that I darn near lost my way. I remember one day looking up and thinking, " How the heck did I get here?!? " From the outside, it looked like I've got a great business, yet on the inside, if I'm honest with myself, I don't like what I'm doing, or who I have to pretend to be to do it. Every day felt like I added one more layer to the façade. Over the years, I've bought into the belief that I needed to be something — correction someone — different than who God made me to be. I can't tell you how many clients have come to me with that monkey on their back. A new way of thinking, being, and living was an arduous journey. I knew the path I was on. It had become familiar. And I was quite comfortable with the folks in my circle. Yet this wasn't the place for me to stay if I was going to do what God had been nudging me to do all along. I remember the first time I used the word Holy Spirit in one of my marketing pieces. I waited for the backlash to come. I waited for folks to call me out on who I was, and whether I had the right to speak about God. After all, I wasn't a pastor, a preacher, or someone who held a degree in religious studies. And yet, when no backlash came… when instead, I heard “ Thank you for saying what I’ve been feeling, ” something shifted. I realized I didn’t need another strategy. I needed alignment. Both in my business and in my whole life. The truth is, you already know when something isn’t working. You feel it. It nags at you in quiet moments. It whispers that what you’re doing is no longer sustainable — and maybe never was. So, let me ask you this: If nothing changes, where will you be this time next year? Because if you're still adding 1 + 1, you'll still be getting 2. And maybe what you need isn't just a new plan, maybe you need a new path. One that doesn’t force you to abandon who you are, and instead invites you to bring more of yourself into every space you lead. If something’s stirring in you, don’t brush it off. You weren’t made for surface-level success. You were made to lead from the inside out. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to slow down before making any decision — big or small. Ask yourself: "Is this aligned with who I am and where I’m being called? Or is this just what I’ve always done?" Then choose from that place of awareness. Becoming a purpose-led leader isn’t about doing more — it’s about being intentional with every step you take. Let this practice guide you back to alignment, one decision at a time.
By Lisa Marie Platske June 16, 2025
For a good portion of my life, I found it difficult to hear God's voice. Mostly I heard just static. Every so often, I'd listen to a song or get a nudge to do something, and mostly it was just quiet in my prayer time. In 2020, something broke open for me. I had been in a terrible place, working very hard in a few different areas. Yet, overall, I felt my life was stuck - and I wasn't making any progress anywhere. I looked at closing my business down and getting a job. My head was hurting from running into what felt like stone walls, and I was plain tired, battered, and bloodied. And I was embarrassed that I wanted to throw the towel in on things I had been working on for years. While many of the leaders I was coaching were doing well, I couldn't figure out the missing piece for where I was standing. And I was getting angry as it seemed my whole life was on the verge of one big meltdown. On a walk in my neighborhood in Virginia, I looked up at my street sign. I lived on Faith Court. The irony of God bringing me there. I decided that I would just start talking to God, and began asking Him questions as if He were walking beside me. I'd often sent clients on God walks, and today I felt this was my last hope. As fast as the questions came, so did the answers. Pieces of my life became clearer and I got an explanation of what had been going on behind the scenes when I thought God had forgotten about me. At the end of my walk, I had a re-commitment to going where God was leading even if it didn't make sense. It was profound and has led me to where I am today. Maybe you’ve felt that silence, too. That deafening quiet when you’re asking for direction, begging for clarity, and all you get is static. And maybe you’ve also been tempted to quit—to let go of what once felt certain, just because the road got too hard, too confusing, too quiet. Yet at times this silence isn’t a void, it’s an invitation. What broke open for me didn’t come from striving harder. It came from walking with God like He was right there beside me—because He was. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to ask God one real question today. Just one. Go outside. Take a walk if you can. Leave your earbuds behind. Imagine Him walking with you, then ask. Not with fear. Not with desperation. Just… ask. And listen. You might be surprised by what you hear when you stop trying to figure it all out and simply make room for Him to respond. You don’t have to get it right. You just have to get moving.
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By Lisa Marie Platske July 7, 2025
Independence Day has just passed, and this year, it holds even deeper meaning for me. Twenty years ago, right around this time of year, I made a decision that would forever change my life. Back then, I believed leadership was about tactics. ~ How well you could communicate. ~ How skillfully you could negotiate. ~ How strategically you could build influence. I threw myself into learning every tool, every technique, every system I could find. I believed that if I mastered the tactical side of leadership, success would naturally follow. For a while, it looked like it was working. I traveled, I spoke, I trained leaders across industries. I had a seat at the table where big decisions were made. From the outside, everything seemed to be lining up the way it should. Inside, though, something was missing. No matter how many tools I taught, no matter how many strategies people mastered, they kept coming back saying, "It’s still not working." If I was honest, I felt the same way too. It was not a tactical problem. It was a spiritual one. In the early years, I spent all my energy giving people what I thought they needed. I handed them the best "wineskins" the world had to offer. The Bible talks about wineskins, and how you cannot pour new wine into old wineskins. If you do, the skins will burst and the wine will spill. The old wineskin, the way of doing leadership without being deeply connected to your Divine purpose, was not producing fruit - not lasting fruit. When I finally saw that, everything shifted. It became clear that leadership was not about tactics alone. ~ It was about who you are, what you want and why it matters. ~ It was about uncovering the Divine purpose planted within you before the world told you who you should be. Because if you are not aligned with your purpose, it does not matter how many tools you master. The foundation will not hold and the fruit will not last. Today, my work looks very different than it did twenty years ago. I still share tools, and I still value practical skills. These are important. They only make a lasting impact, when the heart-work is done first. That is why I created the Upside Leaders program , the Upside Retreats , and the Upside Thinking Live . Each one is designed to help you anchor deeply into your who you are, what you want and why it matters, so you can lead from a place of truth, not just tactics. As I celebrate this milestone, I want to thank you. Whether you have been part of this community for years or you just recently joined, you are part of the story that God continues to write. And there is so much more ahead... ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to set a timer for 10 minutes and create a " Release and Receive" list. Write down one habit, strategy, or belief about leadership that no longer aligns with who you are, then physically cross it off, shred it, or throw it away as a sign of release. Immediately after, write one new action you will take this week that reflects the leader you are being shaped into and schedule it on your calendar. Transformation does not happen by wishing for change, it happens when you move in faith toward it.
By Lisa Marie Platske June 30, 2025
The greater something is to your personal growth and evolution, the more resistance or push-back you will experience from the world and the people you love. Think about that. You’ve got a force inside of you that works against your desire to be better. In his 2002 book, “ The War of Art” , Steven Pressfield talks about this inner force as "the resistance". This inner force or resistance you feel creates distractions to take you off-course from fully stepping into who you're called to be. Activities like… Scrolling through Instagram Watching your favorite TV show or movie Shopping for more cool stuff … may seem fun yet they aren't designed to get you closer to what you want most in life. They also won’t move you forward in every single area of your life. And yet, you still find yourself doing them. Why? Because Resistance is subtle. It doesn’t shout—it settles. It lulls you into routine. Resistance may pull you into a comfortable groove where you just keep doing what you’ve been doing, ... and someday you wake up wondering, “How did I get here?!?” You’re not off track for feeling this way. You’re simply at a pivotal point, one that asks you to decide who you’re becoming. Moments like this aren’t meant to be rushed. They’re invitations to rise, realign, and remember what matters most. Resistance is where the growth is. It’s time to push back against it. What are you waiting for? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one area—leadership, relationships, health, or spiritual growth—and make one intentional move in that space. Do it with presence. Do it on purpose. Here are a few ideas: Begin your day by speaking one thing you’re grateful for. Hold off on replying to that text until you can be fully present. Take 60 seconds before a meeting to get still and set your intention. You don’t need more tasks. You need aligned action.
By Lisa Marie Platske June 23, 2025
You probably don’t want to be in the same place a week from now, let alone a year from now. Yet, you keep doing the same thing over and over and over again, expecting different results. You would never add 1 + 1 again and again — and expect your answer to be 3. So, stop doing the same things over and over hoping that you’ll magically be where you want to be — and everything you want for your life and business will come to fruition. Sometimes you need a new way of being, thinking, and living. That was one of the hardest lessons I've ever learned. Not knowing a lot about how to start a business, I relied on what I thought was the wisdom from other business owners. I didn't make decisions based on whether the people I had hired and listened to were 1) where I wanted to be, or 2) who I wanted to be when I got there. I looked at success as having a formula, and I just wanted to know what that formula was so I could get my piece of the pie. As each week went by, I got further and further away from the values I held dear before I started my entrepreneurial journey. I found that I was making decisions based on what seemed like I had to do versus what I wanted to do. So much of my day was spent chasing "opportunities" that I darn near lost my way. I remember one day looking up and thinking, " How the heck did I get here?!? " From the outside, it looked like I've got a great business, yet on the inside, if I'm honest with myself, I don't like what I'm doing, or who I have to pretend to be to do it. Every day felt like I added one more layer to the façade. Over the years, I've bought into the belief that I needed to be something — correction someone — different than who God made me to be. I can't tell you how many clients have come to me with that monkey on their back. A new way of thinking, being, and living was an arduous journey. I knew the path I was on. It had become familiar. And I was quite comfortable with the folks in my circle. Yet this wasn't the place for me to stay if I was going to do what God had been nudging me to do all along. I remember the first time I used the word Holy Spirit in one of my marketing pieces. I waited for the backlash to come. I waited for folks to call me out on who I was, and whether I had the right to speak about God. After all, I wasn't a pastor, a preacher, or someone who held a degree in religious studies. And yet, when no backlash came… when instead, I heard “ Thank you for saying what I’ve been feeling, ” something shifted. I realized I didn’t need another strategy. I needed alignment. Both in my business and in my whole life. The truth is, you already know when something isn’t working. You feel it. It nags at you in quiet moments. It whispers that what you’re doing is no longer sustainable — and maybe never was. So, let me ask you this: If nothing changes, where will you be this time next year? Because if you're still adding 1 + 1, you'll still be getting 2. And maybe what you need isn't just a new plan, maybe you need a new path. One that doesn’t force you to abandon who you are, and instead invites you to bring more of yourself into every space you lead. If something’s stirring in you, don’t brush it off. You weren’t made for surface-level success. You were made to lead from the inside out. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to slow down before making any decision — big or small. Ask yourself: "Is this aligned with who I am and where I’m being called? Or is this just what I’ve always done?" Then choose from that place of awareness. Becoming a purpose-led leader isn’t about doing more — it’s about being intentional with every step you take. Let this practice guide you back to alignment, one decision at a time.
By Lisa Marie Platske June 16, 2025
For a good portion of my life, I found it difficult to hear God's voice. Mostly I heard just static. Every so often, I'd listen to a song or get a nudge to do something, and mostly it was just quiet in my prayer time. In 2020, something broke open for me. I had been in a terrible place, working very hard in a few different areas. Yet, overall, I felt my life was stuck - and I wasn't making any progress anywhere. I looked at closing my business down and getting a job. My head was hurting from running into what felt like stone walls, and I was plain tired, battered, and bloodied. And I was embarrassed that I wanted to throw the towel in on things I had been working on for years. While many of the leaders I was coaching were doing well, I couldn't figure out the missing piece for where I was standing. And I was getting angry as it seemed my whole life was on the verge of one big meltdown. On a walk in my neighborhood in Virginia, I looked up at my street sign. I lived on Faith Court. The irony of God bringing me there. I decided that I would just start talking to God, and began asking Him questions as if He were walking beside me. I'd often sent clients on God walks, and today I felt this was my last hope. As fast as the questions came, so did the answers. Pieces of my life became clearer and I got an explanation of what had been going on behind the scenes when I thought God had forgotten about me. At the end of my walk, I had a re-commitment to going where God was leading even if it didn't make sense. It was profound and has led me to where I am today. Maybe you’ve felt that silence, too. That deafening quiet when you’re asking for direction, begging for clarity, and all you get is static. And maybe you’ve also been tempted to quit—to let go of what once felt certain, just because the road got too hard, too confusing, too quiet. Yet at times this silence isn’t a void, it’s an invitation. What broke open for me didn’t come from striving harder. It came from walking with God like He was right there beside me—because He was. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to ask God one real question today. Just one. Go outside. Take a walk if you can. Leave your earbuds behind. Imagine Him walking with you, then ask. Not with fear. Not with desperation. Just… ask. And listen. You might be surprised by what you hear when you stop trying to figure it all out and simply make room for Him to respond. You don’t have to get it right. You just have to get moving.
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