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To Be a Whole Leader, You Need to Bring Your Whole Self
LisaMarie • Jun 24, 2019
In the leadership conversations I’ve had over the years, I’ve discovered most people are looking for a “secret” that will magically change their life or business for the better.
I’ll often be asked, “What do I need to do right now that will make the biggest difference to my ___________ (fill in the blank) relationship with my boss, co-workers, colleagues, clients, husband/wife, bottom line, etc.?”
They want the “Presto Chango” secret that with the wave of a magic wand will make everything work out for the best.
In reality, there is no secret.
If you aren’t getting the results you want, you have to change something.
And, the hardest thing to change is behavior.
Making a positive change in behavior requires you to stop doing something and/or start doing something else – and it’s easier said than done.
When it comes to breaking a habit and creating a new one, it’s never been an easy road for me to travel.
I’ve struggled at different intersections of my life with making choices around health, money, relationships, etc.
After staying in the struggle long enough where the pain of staying where I was felt like too much to bear, I found myself at a crossroads.
It is from that place that I often reach out to someone I trust who has expertise in that particular area to get their sage advice about how to get the result I desire.
I’ve hired performance, health/fitness, business, speaking, finance and sales coaches, recognizing I can’t get where I want to go alone.
If you’re not where you want to be, you’ve got to make changes.
When I acknowledged the level of success I wanted for myself, I recognized I had to make a few big changes immediately.
Yet, how do you change your life in an instant?
Years ago, this started with who I hung out with and how I spent my time.
The people you intentionally spend your time with every day will either hold you back from the success you want or allow you to grow your professional life or enrich your personal life faster than you could have imagined.
No one does it alone.
We all need help along the way and people who see our brilliance and call us forth and partner with us to take steps to bring our brilliance out into the world.
This is why I have a 100-foot rule.
I don’t let anyone within 100-feet of me who is filled with negative energy.
It’s also why I lead events like Design Your Destiny Live and “Success to Significance” Leadership Summits. I get to be around people who see my brilliance, and I see theirs.
And, I have lots of friends who don’t have businesses, so it’s not about having work in common.
It’s about intentionally surrounding myself with the others who are similarly committed and lifting one another up.
Who do you hang out with?
Surround yourself with others who are going where you want to go because a rising tide lifts all boats.
Great leaders get this.
They aren’t working on projects in a vacuum waiting for the change to happen.
They’re reaching out to people who have been there before and can show them a new way.
You may have heard me say, “When you’re the smartest person in your circle of friends, you need new friends.”
To take this a step further, when I’ve decided to make a positive change in my behavior, I hired people who had massive amounts of experience in the area I wanted to create new habits.
Studying and learning from mentors and coaches whose expertise came from their own experience because they fell down and made mistakes like me was far more valuable than someone who read a few books on the topic.
Surrounding myself with these experts allowed me to experience a positive change in behavior faster than if I were to have gone it alone.
Where do you go to spend your time learning from people with experience?
Strategic choices to change the people in your circle can geometrically increase your rate of habit change, and this is an advantage you can create for yourself.
Surround yourself with the best. Learn from the best. Embody the best.
Action:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to identify what new habits and behaviors you need to develop? Find an expert who models or has mastered these habits and behaviors. Study them — specifically their work and the habits that support their success. Practice what you learn.
The world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
25 Apr, 2024
As I wandered the serene paths of the farm, my mind couldn't help but drift to the profound words of Kahlil Gibran in his masterpiece, The Prophet. The soft glow of the moon illuminated the vibrant wisdom echoing through my soul from his lines: "Do not live half a life... and do not die a half death. If you choose silence, then be silent. When you speak, do so until you are finished. If you accept, then express it bluntly. Do not mask it. If you refuse, then be clear about it, for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance. Do not accept half a solution. Do not believe half truths. Do not dream half a dream. Do not fantasize about half hopes. Half the way will get you nowhere. You are a whole that exists to live a life, not half a life." Gibran's words resonate deeply, compelling me to ask myself... ~ What are the ways in which I have been living half a life? ~ Have I truly been using 100% of my gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences? ~ Have I expressed myself fully in all areas of my life? Gibran's wisdom compels us to confront ourselves honestly. We cannot delude ourselves with half-truths or fantasize about half-hopes. To live authentically demands complete commitment - a wholehearted embrace of our purpose and passion. The great poet reminds us that such an approach leads nowhere. We are meant for greatness, to live lives that shake the universe. Each of us carries our own brilliance. When we show up halfway, the world loses apiece of the mosaic it longs for. So let this be your charge - to live with such passion that the world cannot help but be forever changed by your presence. For in the end, that is the greatest measure of a life well-lived. Remember... The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to choose one creative project or expressive outlet and devote concentrated time to it with your full self. Whether it's writing, painting, dancing, singing, building something with your hands - pick a creative pursuit that lights you up. Make it your priority practice. Block off 2-3 hour time chunks to immerse yourself completely in the creative flow without distractions or multitasking. Show up 100% focused and express yourself boldly through this medium. When you naturally start to lose momentum or inspiration, stop and reflect in your journal. What did this experience of whole-hearted creating teach you? How can you apply that energy to other areas of your life? Your brilliance shines through full creative expression.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
22 Apr, 2024
Are you capable of disagreeing without contempt? Very few people truly are. One of the greatest flaws inhibiting great leadership is not being capable of having a civil disagreement. As Utah Governor Spencer Cox stated when he became chair of the National Governors Association, "Our country is deeply divided. We are facing a toxic debate unlike anything that we've seen since the Civil War...we have to find a better way." Cox didn't tell Americans to simply agree with each other. Instead, he acknowledged that healthy debates are "essential to a functioning political system." The critical point he made is that we must learn to disagree with less hostility. The ability to do this boils down to three key factors : Separating Leadership from Title True leaders don't let their position or authority make them think they are above disagreement or criticism. They understand that honest debates and differing perspectives are vital for growth, innovation and credible decision-making. True leadership is a calling, not a title. 2.aMastering Emotional Intelligence The best leaders have mastered this. They don't take criticisms or opposing viewpoints as personal affronts. They can engage debates without getting emotional or lashing out defensively. 3.aRaising the Level of Discourse The greatest leaders understand the vital need for respectful disagreement. They can passionately argue their stance without devolving into contempt for those who disagree. They stay focused on the issues instead of making it an ego battle over who is right or wrong. Through their example, they raise the level of discourse. Now, why are all these so important? Because despite our differences, the world desperately needs each person's unique brilliance and contributions. So take a look at how you handle disagreement and criticism. Do you fight contempt with more contempt? Or can you maintain poise and discuss opposing views rationally and respectfully? If we sat down for just 10 minutes, I could show you what to look for and how to develop this skill yourself. Because at the end of the day, you get to control how you respond when disagreements arise. Always check yourself before you wreck yourself. Control your emotions; don't let them control you. The best leaders get this. Remember... the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to practice disagreeing without contempt. Notice when you find yourself in disagreement with someone - whether a close relation, colleague, public figure, etc. Before reacting, pause and get grounded. Check your emotional state and get in control of your reactions. State your differing view respectfully and try to understand the other perspective. Afterwards, reflect on how well you were able to disagree without devolving into bickering or hostility. What can you learn? Practice this critical skill this week.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
18 Apr, 2024
I talk and write about the pursuit of your mission, purpose, and calling. Most folks feel when this 'shows up', it will come with a marching band, balloons, and a parade of unicorns. Life will somehow become magical from this day forward. Not exactly. Your Calling is: "... an urgent and divine inspiration to accept responsibility to do hard things ." Yep. You heard right. Hard things. That means you've got to train and gear up, and be prepared in all areas of your life so you are strong enough to handle what will come your way. - Physically - Emotionally - Intellectually - Financially - Spiritually - Relationally - Creatively The best way for me to do that is to ~ pause each day, ~ take inventory, and ~ reflect on all I have been given. Enjoy your life... and remember, you are designed for More. And the World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to take one clear action moving you closer to your Divine mission and calling. Take time each day to pause and prepare yourself in all areas of life so you are strong enough to handle what comes your way. As you deliberately prepare yourself, you'll be ready to boldly step into the next chapter of your life. Remember, you are designed for more. And the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
15 Apr, 2024
Most folks don't run out of the gate towards hard things. It's easier to take the path that feels safe, which is why it's called a "comfort zone." Yet, struggle and challenges are what bring the greatest level of personal satisfaction. This is a dilemma for most folks... my clients and myself included. When I began asking myself the question, " What will allow me to be incredibly uncomfortable today? " and running towards that, my life shifted. That doesn't mean I go out of my way to create pain or discomfort. Rather, I push my growth edges understanding their purpose and their value when hard shows up in my life. To do this, I make what matters most to me visible -- something so it's top of mind -- and continue moving towards it. The saying, "out of sight, out of mind" rings true. When you have a physical reminder of what matters most, it serves as a beacon reminding you of who you are and the importance of why you need to shine the light you have inside you brightly. This invitation is to ensure you remain aligned with who you say you are. In my recent prayer time, I heard the Holy Spirit instructing me to "organize my day." Yet this message was not only about putting one task in front of another, but rather the value of me walking the journey of life with intention. You don't have to see all of the steps to get what you want or where you want to go. You do have to identify the first step to take. And then the one after that. When you're clear on the next right thing to do, it's easier to jump into action. Over time, I've discovered that my actions are often messy, and while imperfect action is better than no action at all, I could have avoided some pitfalls along the way. Again, I'm not interested in creating discomfort, but I'm interested in orienting my next steps so that when hard does show up, I'm prepared. Make your list. Start with one action. ~ Write who you are. ~ Write down what you want. ~ Write down why it matters. Leave yourself notes or calendar pings. Remind yourself you can do hard things. Because... the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one "growth edge" area of discomfort that you have been avoiding, and take a small step towards leaning into it. Maybe it's having a difficult conversation, putting yourself out there in a new way, or starting a project you've been procrastinating on. Get specific about what growth opportunity has been lingering in your comfort zone. Once you pinpoint the area, schedule a dedicated 1-hour block this week to take one small, imperfect action towards that uncomfortable growth edge. Repeat this "leaning into discomfort" practice weekly or monthly. The more you make discomfort a chosen ally for growth rather than a threat, the more your brilliance expands. The world needs courageous leaders like you who walk towards their edges.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
25 Apr, 2024
As I wandered the serene paths of the farm, my mind couldn't help but drift to the profound words of Kahlil Gibran in his masterpiece, The Prophet. The soft glow of the moon illuminated the vibrant wisdom echoing through my soul from his lines: "Do not live half a life... and do not die a half death. If you choose silence, then be silent. When you speak, do so until you are finished. If you accept, then express it bluntly. Do not mask it. If you refuse, then be clear about it, for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance. Do not accept half a solution. Do not believe half truths. Do not dream half a dream. Do not fantasize about half hopes. Half the way will get you nowhere. You are a whole that exists to live a life, not half a life." Gibran's words resonate deeply, compelling me to ask myself... ~ What are the ways in which I have been living half a life? ~ Have I truly been using 100% of my gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences? ~ Have I expressed myself fully in all areas of my life? Gibran's wisdom compels us to confront ourselves honestly. We cannot delude ourselves with half-truths or fantasize about half-hopes. To live authentically demands complete commitment - a wholehearted embrace of our purpose and passion. The great poet reminds us that such an approach leads nowhere. We are meant for greatness, to live lives that shake the universe. Each of us carries our own brilliance. When we show up halfway, the world loses apiece of the mosaic it longs for. So let this be your charge - to live with such passion that the world cannot help but be forever changed by your presence. For in the end, that is the greatest measure of a life well-lived. Remember... The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to choose one creative project or expressive outlet and devote concentrated time to it with your full self. Whether it's writing, painting, dancing, singing, building something with your hands - pick a creative pursuit that lights you up. Make it your priority practice. Block off 2-3 hour time chunks to immerse yourself completely in the creative flow without distractions or multitasking. Show up 100% focused and express yourself boldly through this medium. When you naturally start to lose momentum or inspiration, stop and reflect in your journal. What did this experience of whole-hearted creating teach you? How can you apply that energy to other areas of your life? Your brilliance shines through full creative expression.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
22 Apr, 2024
Are you capable of disagreeing without contempt? Very few people truly are. One of the greatest flaws inhibiting great leadership is not being capable of having a civil disagreement. As Utah Governor Spencer Cox stated when he became chair of the National Governors Association, "Our country is deeply divided. We are facing a toxic debate unlike anything that we've seen since the Civil War...we have to find a better way." Cox didn't tell Americans to simply agree with each other. Instead, he acknowledged that healthy debates are "essential to a functioning political system." The critical point he made is that we must learn to disagree with less hostility. The ability to do this boils down to three key factors : Separating Leadership from Title True leaders don't let their position or authority make them think they are above disagreement or criticism. They understand that honest debates and differing perspectives are vital for growth, innovation and credible decision-making. True leadership is a calling, not a title. 2.aMastering Emotional Intelligence The best leaders have mastered this. They don't take criticisms or opposing viewpoints as personal affronts. They can engage debates without getting emotional or lashing out defensively. 3.aRaising the Level of Discourse The greatest leaders understand the vital need for respectful disagreement. They can passionately argue their stance without devolving into contempt for those who disagree. They stay focused on the issues instead of making it an ego battle over who is right or wrong. Through their example, they raise the level of discourse. Now, why are all these so important? Because despite our differences, the world desperately needs each person's unique brilliance and contributions. So take a look at how you handle disagreement and criticism. Do you fight contempt with more contempt? Or can you maintain poise and discuss opposing views rationally and respectfully? If we sat down for just 10 minutes, I could show you what to look for and how to develop this skill yourself. Because at the end of the day, you get to control how you respond when disagreements arise. Always check yourself before you wreck yourself. Control your emotions; don't let them control you. The best leaders get this. Remember... the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to practice disagreeing without contempt. Notice when you find yourself in disagreement with someone - whether a close relation, colleague, public figure, etc. Before reacting, pause and get grounded. Check your emotional state and get in control of your reactions. State your differing view respectfully and try to understand the other perspective. Afterwards, reflect on how well you were able to disagree without devolving into bickering or hostility. What can you learn? Practice this critical skill this week.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
18 Apr, 2024
I talk and write about the pursuit of your mission, purpose, and calling. Most folks feel when this 'shows up', it will come with a marching band, balloons, and a parade of unicorns. Life will somehow become magical from this day forward. Not exactly. Your Calling is: "... an urgent and divine inspiration to accept responsibility to do hard things ." Yep. You heard right. Hard things. That means you've got to train and gear up, and be prepared in all areas of your life so you are strong enough to handle what will come your way. - Physically - Emotionally - Intellectually - Financially - Spiritually - Relationally - Creatively The best way for me to do that is to ~ pause each day, ~ take inventory, and ~ reflect on all I have been given. Enjoy your life... and remember, you are designed for More. And the World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to take one clear action moving you closer to your Divine mission and calling. Take time each day to pause and prepare yourself in all areas of life so you are strong enough to handle what comes your way. As you deliberately prepare yourself, you'll be ready to boldly step into the next chapter of your life. Remember, you are designed for more. And the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
15 Apr, 2024
Most folks don't run out of the gate towards hard things. It's easier to take the path that feels safe, which is why it's called a "comfort zone." Yet, struggle and challenges are what bring the greatest level of personal satisfaction. This is a dilemma for most folks... my clients and myself included. When I began asking myself the question, " What will allow me to be incredibly uncomfortable today? " and running towards that, my life shifted. That doesn't mean I go out of my way to create pain or discomfort. Rather, I push my growth edges understanding their purpose and their value when hard shows up in my life. To do this, I make what matters most to me visible -- something so it's top of mind -- and continue moving towards it. The saying, "out of sight, out of mind" rings true. When you have a physical reminder of what matters most, it serves as a beacon reminding you of who you are and the importance of why you need to shine the light you have inside you brightly. This invitation is to ensure you remain aligned with who you say you are. In my recent prayer time, I heard the Holy Spirit instructing me to "organize my day." Yet this message was not only about putting one task in front of another, but rather the value of me walking the journey of life with intention. You don't have to see all of the steps to get what you want or where you want to go. You do have to identify the first step to take. And then the one after that. When you're clear on the next right thing to do, it's easier to jump into action. Over time, I've discovered that my actions are often messy, and while imperfect action is better than no action at all, I could have avoided some pitfalls along the way. Again, I'm not interested in creating discomfort, but I'm interested in orienting my next steps so that when hard does show up, I'm prepared. Make your list. Start with one action. ~ Write who you are. ~ Write down what you want. ~ Write down why it matters. Leave yourself notes or calendar pings. Remind yourself you can do hard things. Because... the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one "growth edge" area of discomfort that you have been avoiding, and take a small step towards leaning into it. Maybe it's having a difficult conversation, putting yourself out there in a new way, or starting a project you've been procrastinating on. Get specific about what growth opportunity has been lingering in your comfort zone. Once you pinpoint the area, schedule a dedicated 1-hour block this week to take one small, imperfect action towards that uncomfortable growth edge. Repeat this "leaning into discomfort" practice weekly or monthly. The more you make discomfort a chosen ally for growth rather than a threat, the more your brilliance expands. The world needs courageous leaders like you who walk towards their edges.
Upside Your Business & Your Life!
