To Be a Whole Leader, You Need to Bring Your Whole Self

LisaMarie • June 24, 2019

 

In the leadership conversations I’ve had over the years, I’ve discovered most people are looking for a “secret” that will magically change their life or business for the better.


I’ll often be asked, “What do I need to do right now that will make the biggest difference to my ___________ (fill in the blank) relationship with my boss, co-workers, colleagues, clients, husband/wife, bottom line, etc.?”


They want the “Presto Chango” secret that with the wave of a magic wand will make everything work out for the best.


In reality, there is no secret.


If you aren’t getting the results you want, you have to change something.


And, the hardest thing to change is behavior.


Making a positive change in behavior requires you to stop doing something and/or start doing something else – and it’s easier said than done.


When it comes to breaking a habit and creating a new one, it’s never been an easy road for me to travel.


I’ve struggled at different intersections of my life with making choices around health, money, relationships, etc.


After staying in the struggle long enough where the pain of staying where I was felt like too much to bear, I found myself at a crossroads.


It is from that place that I often reach out to someone I trust who has expertise in that particular area to get their sage advice about how to get the result I desire.


I’ve hired performance, health/fitness, business, speaking, finance and sales coaches, recognizing I can’t get where I want to go alone.


If you’re not where you want to be, you’ve got to make changes.


When I acknowledged the level of success I wanted for myself, I recognized I had to make a few big changes immediately.


Yet, how do you change your life in an instant?


Years ago, this started with who I hung out with and how I spent my time.


The people you intentionally spend your time with every day will either hold you back from the success you want or allow you to grow your professional life or enrich your personal life faster than you could have imagined.


No one does it alone.


We all need help along the way and people who see our brilliance and call us forth and partner with us to take steps to bring our brilliance out into the world.


This is why I have a 100-foot rule.


I don’t let anyone within 100-feet of me who is filled with negative energy.


It’s also why I lead events like Design Your Destiny Live and “Success to Significance” Leadership Summits. I get to be around people who see my brilliance, and I see theirs.


And, I have lots of friends who don’t have businesses, so it’s not about having work in common.


It’s about intentionally surrounding myself with the others who are similarly committed and lifting one another up.


Who do you hang out with?


Surround yourself with others who are going where you want to go because a rising tide lifts all boats.


Great leaders get this.


They aren’t working on projects in a vacuum waiting for the change to happen.


They’re reaching out to people who have been there before and can show them a new way.


You may have heard me say, “When you’re the smartest person in your circle of friends, you need new friends.”


To take this a step further, when I’ve decided to make a positive change in my behavior, I hired people who had massive amounts of experience in the area I wanted to create new habits.


Studying and learning from mentors and coaches whose expertise came from their own experience because they fell down and made mistakes like me was far more valuable than someone who read a few books on the topic.


Surrounding myself with these experts allowed me to experience a positive change in behavior faster than if I were to have gone it alone.


Where do you go to spend your time learning from people with experience?


Strategic choices to change the people in your circle can geometrically increase your rate of habit change, and this is an advantage you can create for yourself.


Surround yourself with the best. Learn from the best. Embody the best.   


Action:

The Upside Challenge of the week is to identify what new habits and behaviors you need to develop? Find an expert who models or has mastered these habits and behaviors. Study them — specifically their work and the habits that support their success. Practice what you learn.


The world needs you and your brilliance.

What If You Believed The Best?

By Lisa Marie Platske • February 23, 2026
You can believe the best or worst about people. It’s less lonely to believe the best in them, yet that's really hard to do, especially when you've been burned over and over. When I think about leadership as a whole, this is one of the hardest elements to master because people are human. ~ They're going to get stuff wrong. ~ They're going to say things you don't like. ~ They're going to hurt your feelings, even if you don't want to admit it. At some point, most folks give up trying or at least caring. It's often easier to numb or ignore than to deal with a disappointment. Yet numbing or ignoring doesn't change the body's reaction internally to the situation. To get to a place where you are able to believe the best in folks takes work. There is no leadership pill or shortcut. At least not one that I've ever found. One of the biggest flexes is being able to hold space for someone when they've wronged you. I remember years ago reading an article about Richard Branson, and one of his employees who had stolen from him. Branson told the manager to speak to him—and give him a second chance. A second chance?!? Are you kidding me?!? That's a break in integrity and grounds for removal in any industry. Reading this had me wonder what Branson knew about leadership that at the time I didn't. To take it a step further, my curiosity increased and I wondered what would happen if I did something like this in my own life. It felt awkward to try this idea on as I had long-rooted beliefs that certain behaviors were vehemently wrong—and should be punished. Was it possible that leadership required unconditional love? Now, this didn't mean being a doormat and letting someone walk all over you. Anyone who knows me understands that's never gonna happen. Yet this new perspective, this new lens, had me curious about what would happen if I led from that place. Over the years, I can say it hasn't been the easiest thing to do—and it's been the most rewarding. I still have folks come back to me who wronged me telling me how much they respect the way I handled the situation. My greatest desire for folks is that they lead their lives in a way that honors the core of their being—their divine mission and purpose. And it's really hard to do that when you're steeped in judgment, blame, or shame-inducing behaviors. Love is the answer, regardless of the question. Because you can choose to believe the worst in people. Or you can choose to see the best in people. It's always your choice. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one person who has disappointed or frustrated you. Take one step from your highest self that keeps your heart open. Speak with calm. Acknowledge something they did right. And release the story you’ve been holding. Lead from love today.

The Quiet Ways Life Speaks

By Lisa Marie Platske • February 16, 2026
Life’s little synchronicities. Have you noticed them? Something happens that was too meaningful to be a coincidence. ~ Meeting that person. ~ Getting that call. ~ Having the impossible become possible?!? Perhaps you’re thinking about someone, and then they call. How does that happen?!? Or, you get a bill, and you've got no idea how you’re going to pay it. And then, poof! ... the exact amount of money you need just shows up. I’ve experienced countless events like these throughout my life. And while some people believe they are random, I understand in the depth of my being that these experiences are signs from the Holy Spirit to get my attention or answer a prayer. When you are in co-creation with all of Life, you get messages to confirm you’re on the right path. When I’m in ease and grace, greater wealth, opportunities, and relationships flow into my life. It’s magical. However, you have to be open to notice the signs in the first place. Every synchronicity carries wisdom for the journey. When you lean into the whispers of the Holy Spirit, life opens in ways you couldn’t script on your own. Stay open. Stay expectant. What you’ve been seeking may already be moving towards you in ways you can’t yet see. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stay on the lookout for meaningful synchronicities throughout your days. Each time one happens, jot it down so you don’t forget. At the end of the week sit with your list and speak your gratitude aloud for every moment that aligned for you.

Don’t Wait for Permission to Do What Works

By Lisa Marie Platske • February 9, 2026
“You can’t quit your job to open a business. You don’t even know anything about business.” I get it. Taking a leap of faith doesn’t make sense. That’s why it’s called faith. So I took the leap of faith anyway. “That’s not the way we do that here.” I understand. And I created a new way of doing business that is more effective—and fun! “Why must you be such a troublemaker?” I don’t know what you mean. I get there are rules within the system—and I chose to create a new system. “That’s not possible.” Sure it is. I just did it. “You’re being reckless. You have responsibilities.” It depends on how you look at it. I see unlimited possibilities. These are real-life conversations I've had with folks in different seasons of my life. See, the rewards of courageous leadership are immense. Questioning 'what if...' to create 'what is' has been my journey. And it’s probably yours, too. You can’t live out your mission by playing by the rules of a broken world. Don’t let the “we’ve always done it this way” paradigm get in the way of making a positive difference on the planet. Remember, there’s always a way. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stop letting “we’ve always done it this way” slow your impact. Take a process, workflow, or system that isn’t serving your mission and start redesigning it. Remember, there’s always a way to make a bigger difference and it starts with your decision to do things differently.

When Staying Liked Costs Your Soul

By Lisa Marie Platske • February 2, 2026
You have been hard-wired for greatness so stop trying so hard to be something other than who you are. I see it all the time. Folks who tie themselves into knots, seeking the approval of others. Oh, it's not conscious. Most leaders would tell you that they're comfortable being their own boss, in charge of their time. Behind closed doors, many of them have told me something different. And that's because conflict, being misunderstood, and being vilified are pretty crummy. Most folks want to be liked. They want to be valued and appreciated for the effort they've put in. Your greatest gift to the planet is to be fully, completely, and unapologetically who you are. Doing that may come with some pretty harsh consequences ... which is why most leaders are willing to sell out. The thing that isn't always self-evident about compromising your values and beliefs is that every night you're stuck with you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror. You are the only one who understands the choices you've made—right, wrong, or indifferent. When the day is done, the truth always meets you in the quiet. It asks whether you stood in integrity or traded pieces of yourself to keep the peace. Leadership requires decisions that don’t win applause. It often asks you to hold your ground when others want you to bend. Living aligned with who you are may cost you approval or relationships. Yet, it will never cost you your soul. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to name a decision you’ve been avoiding because it feels risky or uncomfortable. It could be ending a partnership that no longer serves your vision, raising the standards for a client, or closing a door that keeps you from your calling. Take one bold, aligned action this week that honors your integrity and the leader you were created to be.
More Posts

What If You Believed The Best?

By Lisa Marie Platske • February 23, 2026
You can believe the best or worst about people. It’s less lonely to believe the best in them, yet that's really hard to do, especially when you've been burned over and over. When I think about leadership as a whole, this is one of the hardest elements to master because people are human. ~ They're going to get stuff wrong. ~ They're going to say things you don't like. ~ They're going to hurt your feelings, even if you don't want to admit it. At some point, most folks give up trying or at least caring. It's often easier to numb or ignore than to deal with a disappointment. Yet numbing or ignoring doesn't change the body's reaction internally to the situation. To get to a place where you are able to believe the best in folks takes work. There is no leadership pill or shortcut. At least not one that I've ever found. One of the biggest flexes is being able to hold space for someone when they've wronged you. I remember years ago reading an article about Richard Branson, and one of his employees who had stolen from him. Branson told the manager to speak to him—and give him a second chance. A second chance?!? Are you kidding me?!? That's a break in integrity and grounds for removal in any industry. Reading this had me wonder what Branson knew about leadership that at the time I didn't. To take it a step further, my curiosity increased and I wondered what would happen if I did something like this in my own life. It felt awkward to try this idea on as I had long-rooted beliefs that certain behaviors were vehemently wrong—and should be punished. Was it possible that leadership required unconditional love? Now, this didn't mean being a doormat and letting someone walk all over you. Anyone who knows me understands that's never gonna happen. Yet this new perspective, this new lens, had me curious about what would happen if I led from that place. Over the years, I can say it hasn't been the easiest thing to do—and it's been the most rewarding. I still have folks come back to me who wronged me telling me how much they respect the way I handled the situation. My greatest desire for folks is that they lead their lives in a way that honors the core of their being—their divine mission and purpose. And it's really hard to do that when you're steeped in judgment, blame, or shame-inducing behaviors. Love is the answer, regardless of the question. Because you can choose to believe the worst in people. Or you can choose to see the best in people. It's always your choice. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one person who has disappointed or frustrated you. Take one step from your highest self that keeps your heart open. Speak with calm. Acknowledge something they did right. And release the story you’ve been holding. Lead from love today.

The Quiet Ways Life Speaks

By Lisa Marie Platske • February 16, 2026
Life’s little synchronicities. Have you noticed them? Something happens that was too meaningful to be a coincidence. ~ Meeting that person. ~ Getting that call. ~ Having the impossible become possible?!? Perhaps you’re thinking about someone, and then they call. How does that happen?!? Or, you get a bill, and you've got no idea how you’re going to pay it. And then, poof! ... the exact amount of money you need just shows up. I’ve experienced countless events like these throughout my life. And while some people believe they are random, I understand in the depth of my being that these experiences are signs from the Holy Spirit to get my attention or answer a prayer. When you are in co-creation with all of Life, you get messages to confirm you’re on the right path. When I’m in ease and grace, greater wealth, opportunities, and relationships flow into my life. It’s magical. However, you have to be open to notice the signs in the first place. Every synchronicity carries wisdom for the journey. When you lean into the whispers of the Holy Spirit, life opens in ways you couldn’t script on your own. Stay open. Stay expectant. What you’ve been seeking may already be moving towards you in ways you can’t yet see. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stay on the lookout for meaningful synchronicities throughout your days. Each time one happens, jot it down so you don’t forget. At the end of the week sit with your list and speak your gratitude aloud for every moment that aligned for you.

Don’t Wait for Permission to Do What Works

By Lisa Marie Platske • February 9, 2026
“You can’t quit your job to open a business. You don’t even know anything about business.” I get it. Taking a leap of faith doesn’t make sense. That’s why it’s called faith. So I took the leap of faith anyway. “That’s not the way we do that here.” I understand. And I created a new way of doing business that is more effective—and fun! “Why must you be such a troublemaker?” I don’t know what you mean. I get there are rules within the system—and I chose to create a new system. “That’s not possible.” Sure it is. I just did it. “You’re being reckless. You have responsibilities.” It depends on how you look at it. I see unlimited possibilities. These are real-life conversations I've had with folks in different seasons of my life. See, the rewards of courageous leadership are immense. Questioning 'what if...' to create 'what is' has been my journey. And it’s probably yours, too. You can’t live out your mission by playing by the rules of a broken world. Don’t let the “we’ve always done it this way” paradigm get in the way of making a positive difference on the planet. Remember, there’s always a way. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to stop letting “we’ve always done it this way” slow your impact. Take a process, workflow, or system that isn’t serving your mission and start redesigning it. Remember, there’s always a way to make a bigger difference and it starts with your decision to do things differently.

When Staying Liked Costs Your Soul

By Lisa Marie Platske • February 2, 2026
You have been hard-wired for greatness so stop trying so hard to be something other than who you are. I see it all the time. Folks who tie themselves into knots, seeking the approval of others. Oh, it's not conscious. Most leaders would tell you that they're comfortable being their own boss, in charge of their time. Behind closed doors, many of them have told me something different. And that's because conflict, being misunderstood, and being vilified are pretty crummy. Most folks want to be liked. They want to be valued and appreciated for the effort they've put in. Your greatest gift to the planet is to be fully, completely, and unapologetically who you are. Doing that may come with some pretty harsh consequences ... which is why most leaders are willing to sell out. The thing that isn't always self-evident about compromising your values and beliefs is that every night you're stuck with you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror. You are the only one who understands the choices you've made—right, wrong, or indifferent. When the day is done, the truth always meets you in the quiet. It asks whether you stood in integrity or traded pieces of yourself to keep the peace. Leadership requires decisions that don’t win applause. It often asks you to hold your ground when others want you to bend. Living aligned with who you are may cost you approval or relationships. Yet, it will never cost you your soul. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to name a decision you’ve been avoiding because it feels risky or uncomfortable. It could be ending a partnership that no longer serves your vision, raising the standards for a client, or closing a door that keeps you from your calling. Take one bold, aligned action this week that honors your integrity and the leader you were created to be.
More Posts