How to Master the Art of Connection – What Great Leaders Do
Lisa Marie Platske • November 6, 2018
The first day at Design Your Destiny Live, I share with the audience that I’m a social introvert.
And, while I have learned how to be less socially awkward, I’m still an introvert and re-charge by resting and being by myself.
My reason for disclosing this at the beginning of the event is so that people understand when we take a break, I really need to be quiet.
I don’t stay in the room and mix and mingle – or strike up conversations.
With my handler by my side, I head off to the green room, close my eyes, and seek to re-charge my energy supply.
Sometimes I even get 10 minutes of body work or do a prayerful meditation.
It’s just enough time to fuel up my power source and get back on stage for another module.
I also rarely attend evening events – and am not one of those people who is the center of attention at a party.
At social events, I’m usually off to the side, having a conversation with someone I already know.
Yet, I realize the value of connection – which is why I’ve written 2 books on the topic and have an entire section dedicated to building powerful partnerships at Design Your Destiny Live.
When I was working in Federal law enforcement, there was a time in my career where the guys didn’t really want to work with me.
They did their best to make my life a living nightmare – and I was really struggling.
After signing up for a 7-month leadership course offered in partnership with the United Way and Rutgers University, I finally got the significance of understanding the art of connection — how to connect with others.
I realized the importance of forging new relationships – and how they opened the door to opportunities, income, and influence.
Despite my discomfort in large groups of people, I have gone to my share of networking events and worked on building what today I lovingly refer to as my “billion-dollar database of friends with business benefits.”
The relationships I’ve cultivated have paid me big dividends over the years – and I have one of the best networks of anyone I know.
Growing my business has been a lot easier because of the relationships I’ve built over time.
And, that’s important.
I’ve built them over time – not all at once.
And, I’ve cultivated them, like tending to a garden.
I’m also clear that connection is both art and science.
What are signs of tripping up or stumbling in this area of connection?
- When someone talks about what they do but you don’t really understood what they said they did.
- When someone (perhaps me) says, “You need powerful partnerships. ….” And you think, “Sure. But, where do I even start?!?”
- When you simply feel worn out by all the juggling all there is to do to grow your network.
- When you run around trying to meet people, online and off, and you think you’re connecting, however, you really just end up having one polite conversation after another.
- When you sincerely want to make a difference in the world and you’ve got this great product or service — and yet nobody seems to be listening let alone buying.
Well, the 1st blunder is that connection does not equate to sales, nor is it a means to solely market your product or service.
Connection is a linking up of two or more entities – and for me, this linking leads to potential powerful partnerships where more good can be created in the world by our synergies.
The 1st key in mastering the art of connection is CLARITY – crafting your road map.
For many people, clarity is a challenge.
In your mind, you may be clear about who you are, and what you are good at, however, are you good at communicating it in a clear and concise way?
Does your listener or reader really understand what it is you do, and more importantly, who you are?
In 2007, I wrote “Designing Your Destiny” because none of my clients at the time could answer these three (3) questions with ease within the five (5) minutes I gave them.
- Who are you?
- What do you do? Or better yet, What do you want?
- Why does it matter?
Ultimately, these questions give you insight into your ideal connection.
Are you clear what you are trying to achieve?
Do you understand the outcome you expect for — not just from — your clients, partners, and team? (Be as specific as possible.)
Are you clear about what you can offer and what you want potential connections to do next?
To attract great connections that open the doors of opportunity for you, it doesn’t matter whether you own your own business, or work for someone else. In either case, you need to identify who you are, where you’re going, and how you’re going to get there by using a written plan.
If you haven’t identified where you’re going, how will you know when you get there?
Action:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to examine your level of clarity for connection. On a scale of 1 – 10 (10 being the highest), how clear are you when answering the 3+ questions?
Connection is the thing.
And, the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 8, 2025
Over the past decade, I've had some really big wins. And because I've had success amnesia and struggle to celebrate my wins, my accomplishments never seemed good enough. Fifteen years ago, all I could see was what I was getting wrong. At that time, I stopped creating big goals (heck, any goals)—and my vision for my business grew smaller. Then I didn't have to feel as if I was a fraud. I would simply stick to what was working and not stretch myself any further. Unconsciously, I chose to live in my comfort zone and stop taking risks. To the outside world, everything looked good. ~ I had clients. ~ I had my own business. ~ And I had a comfortable life. Yet, inside, I was dying . Pieces of me were shriveling up and becoming unrecognizable. When you understand you have a Divine mission and purpose to fulfill and you're not fully using your gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences for good, it's like having your life force being taken from you. You start going through the motions without being present to the gift of life. Over time, you become numb to the possibilities, awe, and wonder that are all around you. Did you ever watch a little kid, and how they see the world through the eyes of God? Everything they notice seems to captivate them and bring them joy. Somewhere along the way, you lose that as an adult. Life becomes rote if you let it. That's what happened to me. And it's hard to lead yourself or others when you're in this place. Sometimes when you feel like you're not winning, you get the opportunity to reflect on what winning looks like. It's a compass that can lead you back home ... ... to a place where health, happiness, success, and meaning are ever-present. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one part of your leadership or life that once brought you joy yet now feels routine. Take one intentional action this week to breathe life back into it—whether that’s reimagining a goal, initiating a meaningful conversation, or revisiting a practice that once inspired you. Even a single deliberate choice can reset your compass toward the place where health, happiness, success, and meaning grow strong.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 1, 2025
When I talk to folks about living out their Divine mission and purpose being the reason why leadership is so important, some people take a step back. "Who, me? A mission? And a Divine one? I'm not sure you've got the right character." Yet, this is something I’m 100% sure of. You were handpicked to do something on this planet. ~ Handpicked to be your mom’s son or daughter. ~ Handpicked to use the gifts you’ve been given and the experiences you’ve had. For a purpose. And I get that not everyone believes that because somewhere along the way, the world teaches you to shrink or make yourself smaller than you were created to be. So you wait for permission. Or you begin doubting your voice. Maybe that happened to you. And yet, here you are, you’re still here. Which means Heaven’s not done. You see, the Divine doesn’t make mistakes, and your presence isn’t accidental. Everything about your journey... ... the setbacks, the breakthroughs, the patterns you repeat, the people you meet ... has been preparing you. And if everyone chose to live from the belief that they're here for a purpose, the world would look vastly different. A purpose-led life requires leaders to step up and do something meaningful with their gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. They understand they're born for something bigger than themselves. And that amount of courage is rare in today's world. I’m pretty sure you weren’t created just to scroll through TikTok or add another item to your cart. You were given a Divine mission. You were given a purpose that was assigned to you and only you. No one else can fulfill it. Just you. And without leadership, walking it out will be extremely hard. Leadership means taking full responsibility for your Divine assignment. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one decision you’ve delayed. Maybe it’s stepping back from a leadership role you’ve outgrown. Maybe it’s restructuring something you built because it no longer aligns. Maybe it’s finally moving forward on the vision you’ve been sitting on for far too long. Block 30 minutes this week to address it with clarity and conviction. Because the longer you wait, the heavier it becomes.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 24, 2025
I’m no stranger to awards. I’ve been recognized for the past 25 years, receiving recognition from the National Association of Female Executives, the White House, the Small Business Administration, the International Alliance for Women, the Evolutionary Business Council, Forbes, and more. I’ve gotten awards entitled Rising Star early on in my business to Woman of the Year, the Top 100 Women Making a Difference in the World, and Women in Business Champion of the Year later on. Several years ago, I received two awards that felt different. To see my name on the screen because of my peers was humbling. That was the first award. The 2nd to last award of the evening for this organization was the “Biggest Impact" award. This award wasn’t listed in the programming or marketing of the event. When my name was called, I was awestruck. I took the stage speechless and moved to tears—and not for the reasons most people might have thought. I’ve learned that you can’t outgive God. That’s something I remind the leaders I work with, whether in a retreat, mastermind, or private mentoring conversation. And whenever I give, it comes back to me 100-fold. The conversations I had at the event throughout the evening are ones that I will always remember. So if you feel you don’t fit in … stop making that an excuse to not get involved in something. Show up for others. Even when you don’t feel like it. If we haven’t met, my door is always open. Reach out at any time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to create space for a conversation you’ve been too busy to have. It maybe someone in your life has gotten your presence, just not your full attention. Show up without performance, without hurry and without distraction. Fifteen minutes. That’s all. Make the time. And let it count.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 17, 2025
Leadership requires consciousness and courage. Lots of folks have talent. Yet, it's rare to see a leader with 360-degree awareness who has the courage to stand in the dark places where leadership is often required to go. This is why for years I've shouted from the rooftops that comfort doesn't change the world. (I even have a shirt in the Upside store that has it printed on the back.) Because no matter how many gifts you've been given, or how much raw talent you possess, you can't erase the struggles of the human experience. You can numb. You can follow. Or, you can choose to step up and lead. And doing the latter is the hardest. All day long I'd much rather have all of the autonomy with little to no responsibility. Yet I understand to do that is copping out on the full usage of my divine gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. I was built to lead. And that means being responsible ... when things go right, and when they don't. Over the years, I've numbed out on mindless TV shows, and unhealthy fast food only to get me further off-course from my divine mission and purpose. Gaining weight and feeling tired were just symptoms of an unhealthy system, and a socially acceptable way to numb. Leadership takes strength and discipline that are rooted in consciousness and courage. Because most folks don't want to be accountable at that level, they'll opt out and choose to follow someone else's lead. That's never been my style. I've learned more from going through hard times than I ever did sitting on Easy Street. The best piece is that you get to choose for yourself. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one thing the future you, the one fully walking in your divine assignment, would do. You already know what it is, that nudge you’ve been feeling. That quiet pull from God asking you to move. Maybe it’s making the call, saying no, saying yes, clearing space to think, or finally following through on what you said mattered. Whatever it is, stop numbing around it. Take the step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 8, 2025
Over the past decade, I've had some really big wins. And because I've had success amnesia and struggle to celebrate my wins, my accomplishments never seemed good enough. Fifteen years ago, all I could see was what I was getting wrong. At that time, I stopped creating big goals (heck, any goals)—and my vision for my business grew smaller. Then I didn't have to feel as if I was a fraud. I would simply stick to what was working and not stretch myself any further. Unconsciously, I chose to live in my comfort zone and stop taking risks. To the outside world, everything looked good. ~ I had clients. ~ I had my own business. ~ And I had a comfortable life. Yet, inside, I was dying . Pieces of me were shriveling up and becoming unrecognizable. When you understand you have a Divine mission and purpose to fulfill and you're not fully using your gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences for good, it's like having your life force being taken from you. You start going through the motions without being present to the gift of life. Over time, you become numb to the possibilities, awe, and wonder that are all around you. Did you ever watch a little kid, and how they see the world through the eyes of God? Everything they notice seems to captivate them and bring them joy. Somewhere along the way, you lose that as an adult. Life becomes rote if you let it. That's what happened to me. And it's hard to lead yourself or others when you're in this place. Sometimes when you feel like you're not winning, you get the opportunity to reflect on what winning looks like. It's a compass that can lead you back home ... ... to a place where health, happiness, success, and meaning are ever-present. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one part of your leadership or life that once brought you joy yet now feels routine. Take one intentional action this week to breathe life back into it—whether that’s reimagining a goal, initiating a meaningful conversation, or revisiting a practice that once inspired you. Even a single deliberate choice can reset your compass toward the place where health, happiness, success, and meaning grow strong.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
December 1, 2025
When I talk to folks about living out their Divine mission and purpose being the reason why leadership is so important, some people take a step back. "Who, me? A mission? And a Divine one? I'm not sure you've got the right character." Yet, this is something I’m 100% sure of. You were handpicked to do something on this planet. ~ Handpicked to be your mom’s son or daughter. ~ Handpicked to use the gifts you’ve been given and the experiences you’ve had. For a purpose. And I get that not everyone believes that because somewhere along the way, the world teaches you to shrink or make yourself smaller than you were created to be. So you wait for permission. Or you begin doubting your voice. Maybe that happened to you. And yet, here you are, you’re still here. Which means Heaven’s not done. You see, the Divine doesn’t make mistakes, and your presence isn’t accidental. Everything about your journey... ... the setbacks, the breakthroughs, the patterns you repeat, the people you meet ... has been preparing you. And if everyone chose to live from the belief that they're here for a purpose, the world would look vastly different. A purpose-led life requires leaders to step up and do something meaningful with their gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. They understand they're born for something bigger than themselves. And that amount of courage is rare in today's world. I’m pretty sure you weren’t created just to scroll through TikTok or add another item to your cart. You were given a Divine mission. You were given a purpose that was assigned to you and only you. No one else can fulfill it. Just you. And without leadership, walking it out will be extremely hard. Leadership means taking full responsibility for your Divine assignment. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one decision you’ve delayed. Maybe it’s stepping back from a leadership role you’ve outgrown. Maybe it’s restructuring something you built because it no longer aligns. Maybe it’s finally moving forward on the vision you’ve been sitting on for far too long. Block 30 minutes this week to address it with clarity and conviction. Because the longer you wait, the heavier it becomes.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 24, 2025
I’m no stranger to awards. I’ve been recognized for the past 25 years, receiving recognition from the National Association of Female Executives, the White House, the Small Business Administration, the International Alliance for Women, the Evolutionary Business Council, Forbes, and more. I’ve gotten awards entitled Rising Star early on in my business to Woman of the Year, the Top 100 Women Making a Difference in the World, and Women in Business Champion of the Year later on. Several years ago, I received two awards that felt different. To see my name on the screen because of my peers was humbling. That was the first award. The 2nd to last award of the evening for this organization was the “Biggest Impact" award. This award wasn’t listed in the programming or marketing of the event. When my name was called, I was awestruck. I took the stage speechless and moved to tears—and not for the reasons most people might have thought. I’ve learned that you can’t outgive God. That’s something I remind the leaders I work with, whether in a retreat, mastermind, or private mentoring conversation. And whenever I give, it comes back to me 100-fold. The conversations I had at the event throughout the evening are ones that I will always remember. So if you feel you don’t fit in … stop making that an excuse to not get involved in something. Show up for others. Even when you don’t feel like it. If we haven’t met, my door is always open. Reach out at any time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to create space for a conversation you’ve been too busy to have. It maybe someone in your life has gotten your presence, just not your full attention. Show up without performance, without hurry and without distraction. Fifteen minutes. That’s all. Make the time. And let it count.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 17, 2025
Leadership requires consciousness and courage. Lots of folks have talent. Yet, it's rare to see a leader with 360-degree awareness who has the courage to stand in the dark places where leadership is often required to go. This is why for years I've shouted from the rooftops that comfort doesn't change the world. (I even have a shirt in the Upside store that has it printed on the back.) Because no matter how many gifts you've been given, or how much raw talent you possess, you can't erase the struggles of the human experience. You can numb. You can follow. Or, you can choose to step up and lead. And doing the latter is the hardest. All day long I'd much rather have all of the autonomy with little to no responsibility. Yet I understand to do that is copping out on the full usage of my divine gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. I was built to lead. And that means being responsible ... when things go right, and when they don't. Over the years, I've numbed out on mindless TV shows, and unhealthy fast food only to get me further off-course from my divine mission and purpose. Gaining weight and feeling tired were just symptoms of an unhealthy system, and a socially acceptable way to numb. Leadership takes strength and discipline that are rooted in consciousness and courage. Because most folks don't want to be accountable at that level, they'll opt out and choose to follow someone else's lead. That's never been my style. I've learned more from going through hard times than I ever did sitting on Easy Street. The best piece is that you get to choose for yourself. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one thing the future you, the one fully walking in your divine assignment, would do. You already know what it is, that nudge you’ve been feeling. That quiet pull from God asking you to move. Maybe it’s making the call, saying no, saying yes, clearing space to think, or finally following through on what you said mattered. Whatever it is, stop numbing around it. Take the step.
