How to Master the Art of Connection – What Great Leaders Do
Lisa Marie Platske • November 6, 2018
The first day at Design Your Destiny Live, I share with the audience that I’m a social introvert.
And, while I have learned how to be less socially awkward, I’m still an introvert and re-charge by resting and being by myself.
My reason for disclosing this at the beginning of the event is so that people understand when we take a break, I really need to be quiet.
I don’t stay in the room and mix and mingle – or strike up conversations.
With my handler by my side, I head off to the green room, close my eyes, and seek to re-charge my energy supply.
Sometimes I even get 10 minutes of body work or do a prayerful meditation.
It’s just enough time to fuel up my power source and get back on stage for another module.
I also rarely attend evening events – and am not one of those people who is the center of attention at a party.
At social events, I’m usually off to the side, having a conversation with someone I already know.
Yet, I realize the value of connection – which is why I’ve written 2 books on the topic and have an entire section dedicated to building powerful partnerships at Design Your Destiny Live.
When I was working in Federal law enforcement, there was a time in my career where the guys didn’t really want to work with me.
They did their best to make my life a living nightmare – and I was really struggling.
After signing up for a 7-month leadership course offered in partnership with the United Way and Rutgers University, I finally got the significance of understanding the art of connection — how to connect with others.
I realized the importance of forging new relationships – and how they opened the door to opportunities, income, and influence.
Despite my discomfort in large groups of people, I have gone to my share of networking events and worked on building what today I lovingly refer to as my “billion-dollar database of friends with business benefits.”
The relationships I’ve cultivated have paid me big dividends over the years – and I have one of the best networks of anyone I know.
Growing my business has been a lot easier because of the relationships I’ve built over time.
And, that’s important.
I’ve built them over time – not all at once.
And, I’ve cultivated them, like tending to a garden.
I’m also clear that connection is both art and science.
What are signs of tripping up or stumbling in this area of connection?
- When someone talks about what they do but you don’t really understood what they said they did.
- When someone (perhaps me) says, “You need powerful partnerships. ….” And you think, “Sure. But, where do I even start?!?”
- When you simply feel worn out by all the juggling all there is to do to grow your network.
- When you run around trying to meet people, online and off, and you think you’re connecting, however, you really just end up having one polite conversation after another.
- When you sincerely want to make a difference in the world and you’ve got this great product or service — and yet nobody seems to be listening let alone buying.
Well, the 1st blunder is that connection does not equate to sales, nor is it a means to solely market your product or service.
Connection is a linking up of two or more entities – and for me, this linking leads to potential powerful partnerships where more good can be created in the world by our synergies.
The 1st key in mastering the art of connection is CLARITY – crafting your road map.
For many people, clarity is a challenge.
In your mind, you may be clear about who you are, and what you are good at, however, are you good at communicating it in a clear and concise way?
Does your listener or reader really understand what it is you do, and more importantly, who you are?
In 2007, I wrote “Designing Your Destiny” because none of my clients at the time could answer these three (3) questions with ease within the five (5) minutes I gave them.
- Who are you?
- What do you do? Or better yet, What do you want?
- Why does it matter?
Ultimately, these questions give you insight into your ideal connection.
Are you clear what you are trying to achieve?
Do you understand the outcome you expect for — not just from — your clients, partners, and team? (Be as specific as possible.)
Are you clear about what you can offer and what you want potential connections to do next?
To attract great connections that open the doors of opportunity for you, it doesn’t matter whether you own your own business, or work for someone else. In either case, you need to identify who you are, where you’re going, and how you’re going to get there by using a written plan.
If you haven’t identified where you’re going, how will you know when you get there?
Action:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to examine your level of clarity for connection. On a scale of 1 – 10 (10 being the highest), how clear are you when answering the 3+ questions?
Connection is the thing.
And, the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 18, 2025
Hope isn't a strategy. You can’t hope your way into a better job, career, or business. You can’t hope your way into a better relationship. And you can’t hope your way into a better life. I've watched people who "hope" others will trust them enough to do business with them. Or hire them for their dream job. Or "hope" that the most talented people out there will want to work with them in their company. Or "hope" that the man or woman of their dreams will show up on their doorstep and ask them out. Hope is defined as a "feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." When invest time to get clear about who you are, what you want, and why it matters, it's more than just feeling your desire for something. You spent time, energy, and money creating clarity for your soul. This Upside leadership principle ensures you're not strong in only one area of your life - while being completely out of balance everywhere else. It keeps you from burning out after a year, or even a few. Because operating with clarity, confidence, and strategy ensures you get results that last. And that requires more than just hope. What kind of difference could that type of clarity make for you? If you want to be successful and profitable all areas of your life, this is the work I do so perhaps you're being called to dive in deeper to this community. Because the world needs you at your best. And hope isn’t the way to get there. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been hoping instead of leading. Where have you been waiting for a breakthrough instead of creating one? Take one decisive action today to move forward. Make the call. Send the email. Have the conversation. Do the work. Because God moves with you when you do.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 9, 2025
A few years ago, I felt as if I was on a hamster wheel in my business. It seemed as if I was in the same place every morning - and running fast. Maybe you can relate. I knew I needed someone else to take a look and see what I couldn't because I was too close to it. I sought out someone who would let me learn from their mistakes and not have to make them all on my own. That’s one of the greatest benefits of leadership coaching. Can you be a leader without it? Sure. Yet, the odds of you wildly succeeding are stacked against you for so many reasons. And the biggest one is, you will be light-years behind your competitors if you have to make all of the mistakes on your own. You can always benefit from wisdom gained through others' direct experience, thereby saving yourself a great deal of time and energy. And, you never outgrow the need for coaching. For example, although my leadership coaching and consulting give my clients insights into other industries and companies and have them consider questions they may never have thought about, I, too, have undergone gap analyses in my own business. With the help of others, over 15 months, I examined every single activity that every team member did as well as scrutinizing where my time gets INVESTED. I brought in someone to look at processes for operations, and had a firm conduct a financial audit. We re-wrote SOP's (standard operating procedures), streamlined systems, and eliminated duplication. Some of the questions that I asked were: ~ Is this the simplest way to do this? ~ Is this (action, system, app, etc.) truly needed to run the business? ~ Is everyone on the team committed to the mission, values, and vision of Upside Thinking? ~ What can be automated or done differently? ~ What am I missing? While I talk to business owners almost every day with these questions in mind, it was an interesting journey to do this for me and my business and understand how important it is to ensure the people around me are involved in the process despite this being my area of expertise. Sometimes you can’t see what’s in front of you on your own. You have to be willing to see a new perspective. And then you have to be willing to do something about it. Sometimes, you need to step out of your current environment completely to gain the perspective you’re missing. That’s why I create spaces where leaders can reflect, and recalibrate. If this resonates with you, consider signing up for a Private, Leadership Retreat Day at Summit Hills Farm in Richmond, Kentucky. Our Spring and Fall Upside Retreats are already sold out. And I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. Make a plan to reset, gain clarity, and step fully into what’s next for you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to be committed to personal development, understanding you can't see what's getting in the way on your own. So, where in your business or life do you need outside perspective? Be open to taking action to get the answers needed to move forward with greater ease. Remember, you’re here for a reason… …and the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 1, 2025
That’s the question, isn’t it? If we’re connected, you’re probably not someone who settles. You stretch yourself regularly, and you know there’s always more to do and be. Yet even the most conscious leaders can fall into the comfort of what’s familiar. It’s easy to mistake movement for progress, busyness for impact, and routine for purpose. Settling doesn’t always look like giving up, it often looks like: ~ Saying “yes” to things that keep you busy and yet you don’t move you forward ... ~ Downplaying your vision because it feels too big or uncertain ... ~ Waiting for clarity instead of creating it through action ... ~ Feeling restless yet unsure how to break through ... It’s not a lack of ambition. Rather, it’s a lack of space to recalibrate, strategize, and listen to what’s next. Stretching requires intention. It means: ~ Surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to expand ~ Creating space for deep, strategic thinking ~ Taking bold action even when the path isn’t fully mapped out ~ Bringing God into the process so you’re aligned, not just accomplished I used to wonder where leaders -- those who wanted to change the world -- went to do this kind of work, to breathe life into their vision and build their next level. When I couldn’t find it, I built it. A space for those who refuse to settle for “someday.” Because when you decide to stretch into your highest calling, clarity follows. And when you surround yourself with others who are doing the same, transformation happens. Where are you stretching next? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been holding back, whether it’s speaking up, taking a bold step, or committing fully to your vision, Then take one action today to stretch beyond it. Growth happens when you move past comfort. And the miracle happens after you take the leap of faith.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 26, 2025
Everyone wants success, yet few are willing to take the steps required to make it happen. The difference between those who wish for more and those who create it comes down to one thing — moving from belief to bold, faith-filled action. Napoleon Hill famously wrote in PMA: Science of Success Course that "The majority of people never discover the difference between wishing and believing; nor do they recognize that there are six steps which people usually follow in using their mind-power for the attainment of their desires. These steps are: First: Wishing or having wishes. The vast majority of people go through life by merely wishing for things. The percentage of people who stop at wishing is estimated to be 70%. Second: Developing wishes into desires. A much smaller percentage of the people develop their wishes into desires. These are estimated at 10%. Third: Developing wishes and desires into hopes. A still smaller percentage, estimated to be 8%, develop their wishes and desires into hopes. Fourth: Use mind-power to form hopes into beliefs. A still smaller percentage, estimated at only 6%, apply their mind-power up to do this step. Fifth: Crystallize wishes, desires, hopes, and beliefs into burning desire and faith. A very much smaller percentage of people, 4%, get this far in transforming their initial wishes. Sixth: Put faith into action by (1) planning and (2) carrying out those plans. The percentage of people who take the last two steps, putting their faith into action, is estimated to be only 2%. The outstanding leaders in every walk of life are the ones who carry on through each step and reach the sixth. They are a small group who recognize the power of their own minds, take possession of that power, and direct it to whatever ends they choose. To these people, the word impossible has no truth to it—no relevance to their lives. To them, everything they want or need is possible, and they manage to get it or make it happen." To quote Napoleon Hill, "The only trait which differentiates them from most of the others who accept failure as their lot, is that they recognize and use their mind's power for the attainment of the circumstances and things they want while the others do not. " I believe that this process, this use of my mind, and the power of my intention are how I ended up with a farm, barn, caretaker's cottage, and an event center. When you surround yourself with the right environment and take intentional steps forward, the shift from wishing to action becomes easier. That’s why I created the Upside Retreat , a space designed to help purpose-led leaders move beyond possibility and into reality. You were created with the power to bring your vision to life. Every desire placed on your heart is there for a reason, and it's your responsibility to move it forward. Action, guided by faith, is what creates transformation. So trust the process. Lean into what’s possible. And take the next step. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to recognize where you started with a wish and went through all six steps to bring it into action or being. If you cannot find an example, start today. Commit to persevering, to ignoring the concept of impossible. Whether you are celebrating a past success or starting anew, strengthen your mind-muscle around developing wishes through beliefs to faith to fruition. Go shine your light. Because the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 18, 2025
Hope isn't a strategy. You can’t hope your way into a better job, career, or business. You can’t hope your way into a better relationship. And you can’t hope your way into a better life. I've watched people who "hope" others will trust them enough to do business with them. Or hire them for their dream job. Or "hope" that the most talented people out there will want to work with them in their company. Or "hope" that the man or woman of their dreams will show up on their doorstep and ask them out. Hope is defined as a "feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." When invest time to get clear about who you are, what you want, and why it matters, it's more than just feeling your desire for something. You spent time, energy, and money creating clarity for your soul. This Upside leadership principle ensures you're not strong in only one area of your life - while being completely out of balance everywhere else. It keeps you from burning out after a year, or even a few. Because operating with clarity, confidence, and strategy ensures you get results that last. And that requires more than just hope. What kind of difference could that type of clarity make for you? If you want to be successful and profitable all areas of your life, this is the work I do so perhaps you're being called to dive in deeper to this community. Because the world needs you at your best. And hope isn’t the way to get there. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been hoping instead of leading. Where have you been waiting for a breakthrough instead of creating one? Take one decisive action today to move forward. Make the call. Send the email. Have the conversation. Do the work. Because God moves with you when you do.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 9, 2025
A few years ago, I felt as if I was on a hamster wheel in my business. It seemed as if I was in the same place every morning - and running fast. Maybe you can relate. I knew I needed someone else to take a look and see what I couldn't because I was too close to it. I sought out someone who would let me learn from their mistakes and not have to make them all on my own. That’s one of the greatest benefits of leadership coaching. Can you be a leader without it? Sure. Yet, the odds of you wildly succeeding are stacked against you for so many reasons. And the biggest one is, you will be light-years behind your competitors if you have to make all of the mistakes on your own. You can always benefit from wisdom gained through others' direct experience, thereby saving yourself a great deal of time and energy. And, you never outgrow the need for coaching. For example, although my leadership coaching and consulting give my clients insights into other industries and companies and have them consider questions they may never have thought about, I, too, have undergone gap analyses in my own business. With the help of others, over 15 months, I examined every single activity that every team member did as well as scrutinizing where my time gets INVESTED. I brought in someone to look at processes for operations, and had a firm conduct a financial audit. We re-wrote SOP's (standard operating procedures), streamlined systems, and eliminated duplication. Some of the questions that I asked were: ~ Is this the simplest way to do this? ~ Is this (action, system, app, etc.) truly needed to run the business? ~ Is everyone on the team committed to the mission, values, and vision of Upside Thinking? ~ What can be automated or done differently? ~ What am I missing? While I talk to business owners almost every day with these questions in mind, it was an interesting journey to do this for me and my business and understand how important it is to ensure the people around me are involved in the process despite this being my area of expertise. Sometimes you can’t see what’s in front of you on your own. You have to be willing to see a new perspective. And then you have to be willing to do something about it. Sometimes, you need to step out of your current environment completely to gain the perspective you’re missing. That’s why I create spaces where leaders can reflect, and recalibrate. If this resonates with you, consider signing up for a Private, Leadership Retreat Day at Summit Hills Farm in Richmond, Kentucky. Our Spring and Fall Upside Retreats are already sold out. And I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. Make a plan to reset, gain clarity, and step fully into what’s next for you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to be committed to personal development, understanding you can't see what's getting in the way on your own. So, where in your business or life do you need outside perspective? Be open to taking action to get the answers needed to move forward with greater ease. Remember, you’re here for a reason… …and the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 1, 2025
That’s the question, isn’t it? If we’re connected, you’re probably not someone who settles. You stretch yourself regularly, and you know there’s always more to do and be. Yet even the most conscious leaders can fall into the comfort of what’s familiar. It’s easy to mistake movement for progress, busyness for impact, and routine for purpose. Settling doesn’t always look like giving up, it often looks like: ~ Saying “yes” to things that keep you busy and yet you don’t move you forward ... ~ Downplaying your vision because it feels too big or uncertain ... ~ Waiting for clarity instead of creating it through action ... ~ Feeling restless yet unsure how to break through ... It’s not a lack of ambition. Rather, it’s a lack of space to recalibrate, strategize, and listen to what’s next. Stretching requires intention. It means: ~ Surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to expand ~ Creating space for deep, strategic thinking ~ Taking bold action even when the path isn’t fully mapped out ~ Bringing God into the process so you’re aligned, not just accomplished I used to wonder where leaders -- those who wanted to change the world -- went to do this kind of work, to breathe life into their vision and build their next level. When I couldn’t find it, I built it. A space for those who refuse to settle for “someday.” Because when you decide to stretch into your highest calling, clarity follows. And when you surround yourself with others who are doing the same, transformation happens. Where are you stretching next? ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been holding back, whether it’s speaking up, taking a bold step, or committing fully to your vision, Then take one action today to stretch beyond it. Growth happens when you move past comfort. And the miracle happens after you take the leap of faith.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
March 26, 2025
Everyone wants success, yet few are willing to take the steps required to make it happen. The difference between those who wish for more and those who create it comes down to one thing — moving from belief to bold, faith-filled action. Napoleon Hill famously wrote in PMA: Science of Success Course that "The majority of people never discover the difference between wishing and believing; nor do they recognize that there are six steps which people usually follow in using their mind-power for the attainment of their desires. These steps are: First: Wishing or having wishes. The vast majority of people go through life by merely wishing for things. The percentage of people who stop at wishing is estimated to be 70%. Second: Developing wishes into desires. A much smaller percentage of the people develop their wishes into desires. These are estimated at 10%. Third: Developing wishes and desires into hopes. A still smaller percentage, estimated to be 8%, develop their wishes and desires into hopes. Fourth: Use mind-power to form hopes into beliefs. A still smaller percentage, estimated at only 6%, apply their mind-power up to do this step. Fifth: Crystallize wishes, desires, hopes, and beliefs into burning desire and faith. A very much smaller percentage of people, 4%, get this far in transforming their initial wishes. Sixth: Put faith into action by (1) planning and (2) carrying out those plans. The percentage of people who take the last two steps, putting their faith into action, is estimated to be only 2%. The outstanding leaders in every walk of life are the ones who carry on through each step and reach the sixth. They are a small group who recognize the power of their own minds, take possession of that power, and direct it to whatever ends they choose. To these people, the word impossible has no truth to it—no relevance to their lives. To them, everything they want or need is possible, and they manage to get it or make it happen." To quote Napoleon Hill, "The only trait which differentiates them from most of the others who accept failure as their lot, is that they recognize and use their mind's power for the attainment of the circumstances and things they want while the others do not. " I believe that this process, this use of my mind, and the power of my intention are how I ended up with a farm, barn, caretaker's cottage, and an event center. When you surround yourself with the right environment and take intentional steps forward, the shift from wishing to action becomes easier. That’s why I created the Upside Retreat , a space designed to help purpose-led leaders move beyond possibility and into reality. You were created with the power to bring your vision to life. Every desire placed on your heart is there for a reason, and it's your responsibility to move it forward. Action, guided by faith, is what creates transformation. So trust the process. Lean into what’s possible. And take the next step. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to recognize where you started with a wish and went through all six steps to bring it into action or being. If you cannot find an example, start today. Commit to persevering, to ignoring the concept of impossible. Whether you are celebrating a past success or starting anew, strengthen your mind-muscle around developing wishes through beliefs to faith to fruition. Go shine your light. Because the world needs you and your brilliance.
