Why Boundaries Are Necessary, Healthy and Loving
Lisa Marie Platske • February 20, 2017
Took me a while to realize how boundaries are necessary, healthy and loving. So, how can YOU set boundaries in your personal and professional life? Get out your sharpies, crayons, or colored pencils and let’s create healthy boundaries for yourself.
I’m still on cloud 9 after an incredible Design Your Destiny Live™ event in January.
My heart is still overflowing and I envision this feeling staying with me all year long.Upside Thinking Boundaries are necessary healthy and loving.
On day #2, we spend over an hour talking about how to live your priorities which is one of the 7 Pillars of Leadership.
The element within this pillar that comes up for clients – and just about every business person I know – is how to set boundaries in your personal and professional life.
A boundary is defined as “a line that marks the limits of an area” so boundaries are simply the lines that you draw that regulate what you want in your life.
Jim and I traveled to Rome in November enjoying exceptional dining experiences and setting our eyes on some of the world’s most amazing artwork and architecture.
Because I have a commitment to myself about providing the best possible coaching support for my clients, it’s always tricky for me when I’m out of the office for long periods of time.
While I believe in setting boundaries so that I take care of myself and those I love, I know that when I don’t honor my commitments to myself, I feel anxious and stressed out.
Sheri and I have had long conversations about this and she serves as a lifeline between me and my clients.
When I plan a vacation, she prefers that I do very little work and trust her to manage Upside Thinking, Inc.
Years ago, I didn’t know how to do this so I would wake up extra early and jump on my computer for hours each morning.
Imagine sitting in a hotel in breathtaking Buenos Aires, Argentina and trying to juggle being present to my husband and my clients all at the same time!
After day #3, I was feeling sorry for myself and decided that I was violating every tenet I shared in my business.
I was feeling anger bubble up when my husband would ask me to go to breakfast – and I had one more email to get out.
Doesn’t he know that I don’t just have a job – – I run a business?!? (Ouch. You can see where that conversation can go. Nowhere good – and fast.)
I was also feeling the anger bubble up when I was typing the email to my clients.
Don’t they know that I deserve to have time off, too?!? Don’t they know that I can’t be at their beck and call?!? (Ouch. Who would WANT to work with me with this attitude?!? Yep. Leadership expert extraordinaire.)
Oh, the pressure I put on myself to “get it right” and be the “perfect” coach…..and at the expense of my self-care and relationship.
Meanwhile, on Planet Earth, everyone seemed to be going about their merry way.
While on Planet Lisa Marie, my inability to set boundaries had managed to create a tsunami of havoc internally – and left the person I cared about most feeling unimportant.
Boundaries Are Necessary, Healthy and Loving
So, what’s the solution?
What I have discovered works best for me is to go back to the basics – know what I want and be willing to ask for it.
When I do that I’m coming from a place of inner knowing versus reacting to an external circumstance or situation.
When you take the time to identify what you want from the simplest interactions throughout the day – and you let others know, you experience ease and grace.
Life moves with intention and purpose without the chaos of borderless edges.
At the time, I could have set myself up for success by simply letting my husband and my clients know my boundaries and expectations.
And, I could have done it with love.Upside Thinking Boundaries are necessary healthy and loving Feb20 2017 blog post pic
After all, boundaries aren’t used to hurt people.
Quite the opposite.
If they are created thoughtfully, they are a tool to take care of ourselves.
They enable us to stay connected to our big mission and vision for our life.
So, get out your sharpies, crayons, or colored pencils and create healthy boundaries for yourself.
And, know that by doing this, you will not only live your priorities but give others permission to do the same.
Action Item:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to review where you need to set a boundary in your life – and then start building the perimeter. Remember to construct a door as boundaries aren’t supposed to keep others out; they are simply designed to keep us happy, healthy, and whole.
The world needs you and your brilliance so shine on!
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 28, 2025
According to MIT professor Pierre Azoulay, who analyzed 2.7 million people who founded companies between 2007 and 2014, a person who starts a company at age 50 is TWICE as likely to get acquired or go public than a founder at 30. Here are some specific examples: ~ Vera Wang didn’t design a dress until she was 40. ~ Mary Kay Ash started Mary Kay Cosmetics at 45—the same age Henry Ford was when he created the world-changing Model T car in 1908. ~ Arianna Huffington started The Huffington Post when she was 55, and Louise Hay launched Hay House at 58. ~ Writer Harry Bernstein published his first book at 96—then went on to write three more before he died at 101, commenting that his 90s were the “most productive years” of his life. You have opportunities all around you. There will always be people who will tell you you're ~ Too old, ~ Too young, ~ Too inexperienced, ~ Too experienced, … …and the list goes on and on. Life happens in the here and now, moment by moment. Don’t subscribe to someone’s timeline for your life. Don’t let a fear-based approach put an expiration date on you or your dreams. You only get one life. I’ve had people tell me I should slow down, that at my age I should be content with what I’ve built. And I know in my soul—I’m just getting started. If you feel the same pull, a Private, Leadership Retreat might be the place to step away, challenge what’s holding you back, and step fully into what’s next. Be clear about Who You Are, What You Want, and Why it Matters, so you can do what you love—and keep doing it—from a place of choice. ... Because that’s how you get to the health, happiness, success, and meaning that will give you an inner peace that few folks ever get to experience in this lifetime. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to examine where you might have bought into a commonly held belief about who you are that gets in the way and limits what you want. Challenge it. Then, defy it. Choose an action step in direct opposition to that false belief. Because the world needs you and your brilliance. Now more than ever. Go shine your light. And at 55, I am clear I'm just getting started...
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 21, 2025
For years, I hung around with folks who told me I had to build an empire. And to build an empire, I needed: More clients More employees More products More space More revenue More choices Because this is what success looks like. Yet, it really was just more complication. And it made me dread doing the work that I once loved. Over time, I got the "more" I really needed was focus… and belief in God's grace and favor. I've been in a season of letting go. 100% of what I'm doing has been under examination for about 15 months. I've been looking at all the areas that may be costing me money, time, and energy I don’t need to spend. I've said good-bye to entire product lines, software, and processes. I've also been purging what’s in my home and closet, examining the clothes in my wardrobe, and what’s in the garage and barn. All of this has allowed me to untether from what I own. None of these things define me. When I left federal law enforcement, I remember feeling lost. I turned in my badge, my gun, and what felt like my identity. I am not my business, my sales, my revenue, -- or even my profits. The focus has been to simplify — and not add more "stuff" to my life. I've got folks who come to me with: Complicated systems Employee hassles Warehouse worries ... ... and more line items than in a Senate appropriations bill. And there's some value they get from having a business that looks like that. What do you get from creating complexity in your life?!? I promise you that you get something. The questions I've been asking myself louder every day are: ~ "Does this get me closer to living out my Divine mission?" ~ "Does this allow me to be a greater force for good on the planet?" If the answer is no, it's got to go. I see too many leaders carrying weight they were never meant to carry, overwhelmed by things that were never theirs to hold. They know something needs to shift, and they don’t step back long enough to make it happen. That’s why I’m intentional about creating space for leaders to reset and realign. Because clarity doesn’t come from doing more—it comes from stripping away the unnecessary. If you’ve been feeling that nudge to step away from the noise and get clear on what actually matters, consider scheduling a Private, Leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm. I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one thing adding complexity without real value. Ask yourself: Does this align with my Divine mission? Is it making a real impact? Would letting go create more space for what matters? If not, release it. Less clutter, more clarity. Less doing, more purpose. The world doesn’t need more of your stuff—it needs you.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 18, 2025
Hope isn't a strategy. You can’t hope your way into a better job, career, or business. You can’t hope your way into a better relationship. And you can’t hope your way into a better life. I've watched people who "hope" others will trust them enough to do business with them. Or hire them for their dream job. Or "hope" that the most talented people out there will want to work with them in their company. Or "hope" that the man or woman of their dreams will show up on their doorstep and ask them out. Hope is defined as a "feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." When invest time to get clear about who you are, what you want, and why it matters, it's more than just feeling your desire for something. You spent time, energy, and money creating clarity for your soul. This Upside leadership principle ensures you're not strong in only one area of your life - while being completely out of balance everywhere else. It keeps you from burning out after a year, or even a few. Because operating with clarity, confidence, and strategy ensures you get results that last. And that requires more than just hope. What kind of difference could that type of clarity make for you? If you want to be successful and profitable all areas of your life, this is the work I do so perhaps you're being called to dive in deeper to this community. Because the world needs you at your best. And hope isn’t the way to get there. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been hoping instead of leading. Where have you been waiting for a breakthrough instead of creating one? Take one decisive action today to move forward. Make the call. Send the email. Have the conversation. Do the work. Because God moves with you when you do.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 9, 2025
A few years ago, I felt as if I was on a hamster wheel in my business. It seemed as if I was in the same place every morning - and running fast. Maybe you can relate. I knew I needed someone else to take a look and see what I couldn't because I was too close to it. I sought out someone who would let me learn from their mistakes and not have to make them all on my own. That’s one of the greatest benefits of leadership coaching. Can you be a leader without it? Sure. Yet, the odds of you wildly succeeding are stacked against you for so many reasons. And the biggest one is, you will be light-years behind your competitors if you have to make all of the mistakes on your own. You can always benefit from wisdom gained through others' direct experience, thereby saving yourself a great deal of time and energy. And, you never outgrow the need for coaching. For example, although my leadership coaching and consulting give my clients insights into other industries and companies and have them consider questions they may never have thought about, I, too, have undergone gap analyses in my own business. With the help of others, over 15 months, I examined every single activity that every team member did as well as scrutinizing where my time gets INVESTED. I brought in someone to look at processes for operations, and had a firm conduct a financial audit. We re-wrote SOP's (standard operating procedures), streamlined systems, and eliminated duplication. Some of the questions that I asked were: ~ Is this the simplest way to do this? ~ Is this (action, system, app, etc.) truly needed to run the business? ~ Is everyone on the team committed to the mission, values, and vision of Upside Thinking? ~ What can be automated or done differently? ~ What am I missing? While I talk to business owners almost every day with these questions in mind, it was an interesting journey to do this for me and my business and understand how important it is to ensure the people around me are involved in the process despite this being my area of expertise. Sometimes you can’t see what’s in front of you on your own. You have to be willing to see a new perspective. And then you have to be willing to do something about it. Sometimes, you need to step out of your current environment completely to gain the perspective you’re missing. That’s why I create spaces where leaders can reflect, and recalibrate. If this resonates with you, consider signing up for a Private, Leadership Retreat Day at Summit Hills Farm in Richmond, Kentucky. Our Spring and Fall Upside Retreats are already sold out. And I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. Make a plan to reset, gain clarity, and step fully into what’s next for you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to be committed to personal development, understanding you can't see what's getting in the way on your own. So, where in your business or life do you need outside perspective? Be open to taking action to get the answers needed to move forward with greater ease. Remember, you’re here for a reason… …and the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 28, 2025
According to MIT professor Pierre Azoulay, who analyzed 2.7 million people who founded companies between 2007 and 2014, a person who starts a company at age 50 is TWICE as likely to get acquired or go public than a founder at 30. Here are some specific examples: ~ Vera Wang didn’t design a dress until she was 40. ~ Mary Kay Ash started Mary Kay Cosmetics at 45—the same age Henry Ford was when he created the world-changing Model T car in 1908. ~ Arianna Huffington started The Huffington Post when she was 55, and Louise Hay launched Hay House at 58. ~ Writer Harry Bernstein published his first book at 96—then went on to write three more before he died at 101, commenting that his 90s were the “most productive years” of his life. You have opportunities all around you. There will always be people who will tell you you're ~ Too old, ~ Too young, ~ Too inexperienced, ~ Too experienced, … …and the list goes on and on. Life happens in the here and now, moment by moment. Don’t subscribe to someone’s timeline for your life. Don’t let a fear-based approach put an expiration date on you or your dreams. You only get one life. I’ve had people tell me I should slow down, that at my age I should be content with what I’ve built. And I know in my soul—I’m just getting started. If you feel the same pull, a Private, Leadership Retreat might be the place to step away, challenge what’s holding you back, and step fully into what’s next. Be clear about Who You Are, What You Want, and Why it Matters, so you can do what you love—and keep doing it—from a place of choice. ... Because that’s how you get to the health, happiness, success, and meaning that will give you an inner peace that few folks ever get to experience in this lifetime. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to examine where you might have bought into a commonly held belief about who you are that gets in the way and limits what you want. Challenge it. Then, defy it. Choose an action step in direct opposition to that false belief. Because the world needs you and your brilliance. Now more than ever. Go shine your light. And at 55, I am clear I'm just getting started...
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 21, 2025
For years, I hung around with folks who told me I had to build an empire. And to build an empire, I needed: More clients More employees More products More space More revenue More choices Because this is what success looks like. Yet, it really was just more complication. And it made me dread doing the work that I once loved. Over time, I got the "more" I really needed was focus… and belief in God's grace and favor. I've been in a season of letting go. 100% of what I'm doing has been under examination for about 15 months. I've been looking at all the areas that may be costing me money, time, and energy I don’t need to spend. I've said good-bye to entire product lines, software, and processes. I've also been purging what’s in my home and closet, examining the clothes in my wardrobe, and what’s in the garage and barn. All of this has allowed me to untether from what I own. None of these things define me. When I left federal law enforcement, I remember feeling lost. I turned in my badge, my gun, and what felt like my identity. I am not my business, my sales, my revenue, -- or even my profits. The focus has been to simplify — and not add more "stuff" to my life. I've got folks who come to me with: Complicated systems Employee hassles Warehouse worries ... ... and more line items than in a Senate appropriations bill. And there's some value they get from having a business that looks like that. What do you get from creating complexity in your life?!? I promise you that you get something. The questions I've been asking myself louder every day are: ~ "Does this get me closer to living out my Divine mission?" ~ "Does this allow me to be a greater force for good on the planet?" If the answer is no, it's got to go. I see too many leaders carrying weight they were never meant to carry, overwhelmed by things that were never theirs to hold. They know something needs to shift, and they don’t step back long enough to make it happen. That’s why I’m intentional about creating space for leaders to reset and realign. Because clarity doesn’t come from doing more—it comes from stripping away the unnecessary. If you’ve been feeling that nudge to step away from the noise and get clear on what actually matters, consider scheduling a Private, Leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm. I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one thing adding complexity without real value. Ask yourself: Does this align with my Divine mission? Is it making a real impact? Would letting go create more space for what matters? If not, release it. Less clutter, more clarity. Less doing, more purpose. The world doesn’t need more of your stuff—it needs you.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 18, 2025
Hope isn't a strategy. You can’t hope your way into a better job, career, or business. You can’t hope your way into a better relationship. And you can’t hope your way into a better life. I've watched people who "hope" others will trust them enough to do business with them. Or hire them for their dream job. Or "hope" that the most talented people out there will want to work with them in their company. Or "hope" that the man or woman of their dreams will show up on their doorstep and ask them out. Hope is defined as a "feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." When invest time to get clear about who you are, what you want, and why it matters, it's more than just feeling your desire for something. You spent time, energy, and money creating clarity for your soul. This Upside leadership principle ensures you're not strong in only one area of your life - while being completely out of balance everywhere else. It keeps you from burning out after a year, or even a few. Because operating with clarity, confidence, and strategy ensures you get results that last. And that requires more than just hope. What kind of difference could that type of clarity make for you? If you want to be successful and profitable all areas of your life, this is the work I do so perhaps you're being called to dive in deeper to this community. Because the world needs you at your best. And hope isn’t the way to get there. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to identify one area where you’ve been hoping instead of leading. Where have you been waiting for a breakthrough instead of creating one? Take one decisive action today to move forward. Make the call. Send the email. Have the conversation. Do the work. Because God moves with you when you do.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
April 9, 2025
A few years ago, I felt as if I was on a hamster wheel in my business. It seemed as if I was in the same place every morning - and running fast. Maybe you can relate. I knew I needed someone else to take a look and see what I couldn't because I was too close to it. I sought out someone who would let me learn from their mistakes and not have to make them all on my own. That’s one of the greatest benefits of leadership coaching. Can you be a leader without it? Sure. Yet, the odds of you wildly succeeding are stacked against you for so many reasons. And the biggest one is, you will be light-years behind your competitors if you have to make all of the mistakes on your own. You can always benefit from wisdom gained through others' direct experience, thereby saving yourself a great deal of time and energy. And, you never outgrow the need for coaching. For example, although my leadership coaching and consulting give my clients insights into other industries and companies and have them consider questions they may never have thought about, I, too, have undergone gap analyses in my own business. With the help of others, over 15 months, I examined every single activity that every team member did as well as scrutinizing where my time gets INVESTED. I brought in someone to look at processes for operations, and had a firm conduct a financial audit. We re-wrote SOP's (standard operating procedures), streamlined systems, and eliminated duplication. Some of the questions that I asked were: ~ Is this the simplest way to do this? ~ Is this (action, system, app, etc.) truly needed to run the business? ~ Is everyone on the team committed to the mission, values, and vision of Upside Thinking? ~ What can be automated or done differently? ~ What am I missing? While I talk to business owners almost every day with these questions in mind, it was an interesting journey to do this for me and my business and understand how important it is to ensure the people around me are involved in the process despite this being my area of expertise. Sometimes you can’t see what’s in front of you on your own. You have to be willing to see a new perspective. And then you have to be willing to do something about it. Sometimes, you need to step out of your current environment completely to gain the perspective you’re missing. That’s why I create spaces where leaders can reflect, and recalibrate. If this resonates with you, consider signing up for a Private, Leadership Retreat Day at Summit Hills Farm in Richmond, Kentucky. Our Spring and Fall Upside Retreats are already sold out. And I have a limited number of private retreat days available for 2025. Make a plan to reset, gain clarity, and step fully into what’s next for you. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to be committed to personal development, understanding you can't see what's getting in the way on your own. So, where in your business or life do you need outside perspective? Be open to taking action to get the answers needed to move forward with greater ease. Remember, you’re here for a reason… …and the world needs you and your brilliance.
