Have you ever felt jealous of someone else’s successes or experiences?

Have you ever looked at someone’s wins and accomplishments and thought that should have been me?

Have you ever watched as one of your colleagues got recognition and accolades for a project and you just couldn’t be happy for them?

Most people have jealous thoughts pop up into their mind from time to time.

Growing up, jealousy was something I struggled with for a long time.

Every time I saw a friend in school achieve something wonderful, it felt like it was highlighting my own inadequacy – and it was difficult for me to be really happy for them. 

During this season of my life, I spent more time focusing on what I didn’t have vs. all of the blessings in my life.

On the journey of happiness, success and meaning in life, it’s normal to feel jealous on occasion.

When we get into the ring and compete, we’re bound to face disappointment and adversity along the way – yearning for the spotlight of victory and achievement.

Today, social media assaults our senses laying out the perfection of other people’s lives to compare to our own.

What we do, how we look, and whether we’re successful are up for 24×7 examination.

Our egos can take a beating every day.

When I was hired by the government, I should have been called “Negative Nancy.” I lived in a frustrating cycle of comparison and resentment.

After investing in countless leadership trainings and shifting my perspective, when I left the government, my nickname was “Mary F’in Sunshine.”

When you find yourself feeling jealous, you don’t have to get stuck there and let it take you down.

Here’s what I did:

First, I realized my jealousy came from fear. I forgave myself for being jealous and applied self-compassion to allow for healing.

Second, I examined my insecurities that cause the fear – and source of my feeling inferior.

Third, I got honest. I looked at what I couldn’t do and what I could do to improve in those areas.

After owning where I was – and releasing any of the guilt and shame I felt, I created actions to strengthen and improve in tangible ways.

Finally, I began truly celebrating the achievements of others, using them as inspiration on my journey.

And, layer by layer, that’s how I made my transformation to Mary F’in Sunshine.


The Upside Challenge of the week is to take an emotional inventory. Are you harboring any jealousy? Take the steps to release it and feel the joy of genuine appreciation for another’s success. There’s always more room for sunshine.

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