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How to Get Out of the Comparing Mode

Lisa Marie Platske • Aug 16, 2017

 

Every so often, I get into a comparing mode. Every leader struggles with thoughts that try to keep them safe and small. Let’s get you out of this mode.



Every so often, I get into a comparing mode.


It comes on without any warning and BAM! I’m sitting at my desk having to deal with all sorts of thoughts of “Will I ever be good enough to…….”


  • The competition in my industry is immense, and who the heck am I to talk about leadership?!? Did you see what ______ wrote last week? He has a gift for writing.
  • Really, whose brilliant idea was it to have a vision to support others to design their destiny?!? Did you see what _____ recently launched? Pure genius.
  • Everybody out there is talking about knowing who you are, what you want and why it matters. What makes your message so special?!? Did you see what big opportunity they got? Well, good for them.

And, the list goes on and on.


These are real thoughts that swim around in my head every other Thursday or more often.


And, they always show up with a snarky voice and a little bit of attitude.


Every leader has moments of doubt, fear, rejection, insecurity, self-doubt, and worry.


Every leader wonders whether they have what it takes to be wildly successful.Comparing Mode - Upside Thinking


Every leader struggles with thoughts that try to keep them safe and small.


These are normal emotions that have nothing to do with your talents, gifts, and abilities.


Every master was once a disaster.


The difference is being willing to ride the emotional rollercoaster without shame or blame.


Yes, sometimes I am a hot mess.


And, sometimes I’m just hot. (wink…wink…)


Being a great leader is about not letting the disappointments change how you live out your big mission and calling.


If you let the setbacks and frustrations keep you from trying, the world will miss out.


And, everyone in the game of life and leadership has to prove themselves worthy to be a leader worth following.


Usually, it starts with who you believe you are.


Out of the Comparing Mode


I know that my comparing mode is all about keeping me safe.


My inner critic wants to protect me and not have me fail and get hurt.


……And, I’ve had to befriend her so she doesn’t stop me from doing what I’m called to do.


So, how do you befriend your inner critic and keep growing as a leader?


One of the best ways to do this is to build a network of amazing connections or be part of a community.


I love that the women in my “Realize Your Destiny” and “Seize Your Spotlight” programs lean on each other for support, guidance, and encouragement.


Having someone to cheer on your brilliance when you’re stuck in the muck is incredibly valuable.


Whenever I’m struggling to get myself out of my head, I pick up the phone and call a friend.


Sometimes I don’t even have to say a word because they hear it in my voice.


“She was talking to you again…..”


Yes.


“Did you tell her to be quiet – that you’ve got this.”


Yes.


Or, I go outside and sit and listen to my birds.


Just being in nature helps me to remember who I am so I can get out of my head and back into my heart.


And, finally, sometimes it’s just about showing up and providing value for others.


When you’re giving to others, it’s difficult to be in comparing mode.


Action Item: Comparing Mode - Lisa Marie Platske

The Upside Challenge of the week is to be an encourager for someone.


The world needs you and your brilliance.


By Lisa Marie Platske 25 Mar, 2024
Peace showed up in my morning reflection time. I was reminded of this prayer, one of my grandmother's favorites. Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Yes please. I sang this poem at the Upside Summit several years ago. Peace is elusive for most folks ... especially those who fight lies that live in their head. About 15 years ago, a fellow speaker asked me to coach her on living in the present moment. She told me she struggled with sleepless nights and feeling as if she was never doing enough. I'd been there and knew what it was like to have a head full of anxious thoughts, robbed of a peaceful life. And being internally calm is something I've worked a long time on, and what many of the leaders I work with want. See, peace is no longer a struggle for me. Despite the noise and chaos that's often around me, I don't have the same level of noise in me. How about you? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Last month, I woke up to a storm and a roof leak. It's these situations where " Lord, make me an instrument of peace " comes alive in practical ways. Remember... The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to create a " Peace Practice " ritual for yourself which is especially helpful during a hectic work week. Take 5-10 minutes each day to intentionally cultivate a state of inner calm and presence. This could involve: - Sitting in silence, focusing on your breath - Listening to a guided meditation app - Reading an inspiring poem or prayer - Walking mindfully in nature - Doing gentle stretches or yoga poses The key is choosing a simple activity that allows you to release anxious thoughts. When feelings of stress, overwhelm or negativity arise, return to your Peace Practice. Use it as an anchor to realign with your intention for a peaceful mind. You get to choose calm over chronic anxiety. The world needs more leaders like you who prioritize their well-being so they can show up centered and resilient, no matter what arises.
By Lisa Marie Platske 21 Mar, 2024
Do you ever get stuck focusing on "how" you are going to do something? Most folks get fixated on the mechanics and figuring out the next steps, and then start to see imaginary obstacles, becoming paralyzed and failing to move forward. You don't have to have all the answers or even map out every step. One of my genius zones is identifying the ONE action to take that will make the biggest difference in realizing your vision. Sure, doubt may creep in, especially when the journey seems long. You may even feel overwhelmed. That's why it's best not to go it alone. I've long asked myself, " What is mine to do right now? " The million little moments have added up to me having a leadership and spiritual wellness center. Summit Hills Farm is a place where leaders come to do their work, as leadership is an inside job. The first place to start is answering three questions: ~ Who am I? ~ What do I want? ~ Why does it matter? When you answer these, the how takes care of itself. They will serve as a compass when you're feeling lost on your journey. And simple isn't easy. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one idea you've been feeling stuck on. Instead of getting overwhelmed trying to map out every step of the "how", simply ask yourself: What is the next best small step I can take to move forward? Come up with ONE manageable action step you can accomplish this week. They should feel challenging but doable. Go shine your light. And keep moving forward.
By Lisa Marie Platske 18 Mar, 2024
My computer crashed, the screen on my phone shattered after a fatal drop, and after the roof leak and busted pipe in the apartment earlier in the week, I needed a date night sooner than later. Since Jim and I are typically in bed by 8pm, when we go out to eat it's really a date lunch. (smile) We decided to try someplace new, and it ended up exceeding our expectations. And it was what I would call a Kentucky gem. The food, the people, and the sign on the wall opposite the cash register had me want to come back, as well as forget about my bumpy week. I asked the owner's fiancé about the sign which read: If You Are Hungry and Have No Money, These Meals Have Been Paid for In Advance. Give a Server the Ticket and They Will Have the Kitchen Prepare Your Meal. One Meal Per day, One Meal Per Person. She shared that people give, and folks who are in need, often the homeless, can receive a meal every day. Yet often those receiving want to help out by taking out the trash, etc. It got me thinking about the good of humans and their natural desire to want to serve and give. Everyone wants the same thing. ~ To be valued. ~ To be appreciated. ~ To be loved. The best leaders get this. Jim and I bought 8 meals and shared a little goodwill in the midst of our rollercoaster-y week. Go shine your light. It's needed. Yes... the world truly needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to perform a small act of kindness for someone in need. Look for opportunities to extend compassion - a kind word, a donation to a food bank, bringing clothes to a shelter, buying a meal for a friend who's overwhelmed or overworked. Open your eyes and heart to those struggling around you. It may be someone closer than you realize. When you give freely without expectation, you receive just as much in return. In a society focused on individual success, make it a point to consciously choose to put someone in your community first. The world is better when we lift each other up.
By Lisa Marie Platske 14 Mar, 2024
The worst part of my business is seeing people with potential and watching them squander away their opportunities, understanding that if they put the work in and did it with consistent effort, they would be successful. Massively successful. Sure, they may have to make a few sacrifices. How do you think I got to where I'm at today?!? Instead, I see many folks with potential choose the path of least resistance, making excuses for their plight. I didn't get a silver spoon; rather, I graduated from The School of Hard Knocks. You've got to believe you can achieve what you want -- and that you're worthy to have it. This determines what's possible as it's the seed that will produce delicious fruit or not. You can't choose actions and make decisions from a place of lack or scarcity. That only leads to negative results. To change the success cycle, you have to first see the outcome you want, and then believe it's possible because your mind can't tell the difference between what is imagined and what is real. This goes back to the body of work that Aristotle and Plato brought to the world. If you can start to envision what your life will be like putting in the effort and getting the results, you can change the momentum in your life. Most people only envision the result -- and not the work. They see the car they want to drive or the house they want to live in, and forget to envision what they are willing to do to put forth the effort, energy, and work to have what they want. I've learned the more I do the hard things, the easier my life gets. When I do the easy things, the harder my life gets. Believe in yourself and take the necessary actions. If you don't think what you want is possible, borrow my belief in you. The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to pick one area of your life where you've been making excuses or taking the path of least resistance. Identify the potential you have in this area that you have not fully tapped into if you were to do the work. Visualize in detail what it would look like and feel like if you put in the effort and achieved the success you desire. Let yourself believe at your core that you are capable of making it happen. Then, write down 1-3 small, specific action steps you can take this week to start making progress. They should feel challenging and actionable. Remember, the only limits on your potential are the ones you place on yourself. That's the power of Upside Thinking.
More Posts
By Lisa Marie Platske 25 Mar, 2024
Peace showed up in my morning reflection time. I was reminded of this prayer, one of my grandmother's favorites. Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Yes please. I sang this poem at the Upside Summit several years ago. Peace is elusive for most folks ... especially those who fight lies that live in their head. About 15 years ago, a fellow speaker asked me to coach her on living in the present moment. She told me she struggled with sleepless nights and feeling as if she was never doing enough. I'd been there and knew what it was like to have a head full of anxious thoughts, robbed of a peaceful life. And being internally calm is something I've worked a long time on, and what many of the leaders I work with want. See, peace is no longer a struggle for me. Despite the noise and chaos that's often around me, I don't have the same level of noise in me. How about you? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Last month, I woke up to a storm and a roof leak. It's these situations where " Lord, make me an instrument of peace " comes alive in practical ways. Remember... The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to create a " Peace Practice " ritual for yourself which is especially helpful during a hectic work week. Take 5-10 minutes each day to intentionally cultivate a state of inner calm and presence. This could involve: - Sitting in silence, focusing on your breath - Listening to a guided meditation app - Reading an inspiring poem or prayer - Walking mindfully in nature - Doing gentle stretches or yoga poses The key is choosing a simple activity that allows you to release anxious thoughts. When feelings of stress, overwhelm or negativity arise, return to your Peace Practice. Use it as an anchor to realign with your intention for a peaceful mind. You get to choose calm over chronic anxiety. The world needs more leaders like you who prioritize their well-being so they can show up centered and resilient, no matter what arises.
By Lisa Marie Platske 21 Mar, 2024
Do you ever get stuck focusing on "how" you are going to do something? Most folks get fixated on the mechanics and figuring out the next steps, and then start to see imaginary obstacles, becoming paralyzed and failing to move forward. You don't have to have all the answers or even map out every step. One of my genius zones is identifying the ONE action to take that will make the biggest difference in realizing your vision. Sure, doubt may creep in, especially when the journey seems long. You may even feel overwhelmed. That's why it's best not to go it alone. I've long asked myself, " What is mine to do right now? " The million little moments have added up to me having a leadership and spiritual wellness center. Summit Hills Farm is a place where leaders come to do their work, as leadership is an inside job. The first place to start is answering three questions: ~ Who am I? ~ What do I want? ~ Why does it matter? When you answer these, the how takes care of itself. They will serve as a compass when you're feeling lost on your journey. And simple isn't easy. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one idea you've been feeling stuck on. Instead of getting overwhelmed trying to map out every step of the "how", simply ask yourself: What is the next best small step I can take to move forward? Come up with ONE manageable action step you can accomplish this week. They should feel challenging but doable. Go shine your light. And keep moving forward.
By Lisa Marie Platske 18 Mar, 2024
My computer crashed, the screen on my phone shattered after a fatal drop, and after the roof leak and busted pipe in the apartment earlier in the week, I needed a date night sooner than later. Since Jim and I are typically in bed by 8pm, when we go out to eat it's really a date lunch. (smile) We decided to try someplace new, and it ended up exceeding our expectations. And it was what I would call a Kentucky gem. The food, the people, and the sign on the wall opposite the cash register had me want to come back, as well as forget about my bumpy week. I asked the owner's fiancé about the sign which read: If You Are Hungry and Have No Money, These Meals Have Been Paid for In Advance. Give a Server the Ticket and They Will Have the Kitchen Prepare Your Meal. One Meal Per day, One Meal Per Person. She shared that people give, and folks who are in need, often the homeless, can receive a meal every day. Yet often those receiving want to help out by taking out the trash, etc. It got me thinking about the good of humans and their natural desire to want to serve and give. Everyone wants the same thing. ~ To be valued. ~ To be appreciated. ~ To be loved. The best leaders get this. Jim and I bought 8 meals and shared a little goodwill in the midst of our rollercoaster-y week. Go shine your light. It's needed. Yes... the world truly needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to perform a small act of kindness for someone in need. Look for opportunities to extend compassion - a kind word, a donation to a food bank, bringing clothes to a shelter, buying a meal for a friend who's overwhelmed or overworked. Open your eyes and heart to those struggling around you. It may be someone closer than you realize. When you give freely without expectation, you receive just as much in return. In a society focused on individual success, make it a point to consciously choose to put someone in your community first. The world is better when we lift each other up.
By Lisa Marie Platske 14 Mar, 2024
The worst part of my business is seeing people with potential and watching them squander away their opportunities, understanding that if they put the work in and did it with consistent effort, they would be successful. Massively successful. Sure, they may have to make a few sacrifices. How do you think I got to where I'm at today?!? Instead, I see many folks with potential choose the path of least resistance, making excuses for their plight. I didn't get a silver spoon; rather, I graduated from The School of Hard Knocks. You've got to believe you can achieve what you want -- and that you're worthy to have it. This determines what's possible as it's the seed that will produce delicious fruit or not. You can't choose actions and make decisions from a place of lack or scarcity. That only leads to negative results. To change the success cycle, you have to first see the outcome you want, and then believe it's possible because your mind can't tell the difference between what is imagined and what is real. This goes back to the body of work that Aristotle and Plato brought to the world. If you can start to envision what your life will be like putting in the effort and getting the results, you can change the momentum in your life. Most people only envision the result -- and not the work. They see the car they want to drive or the house they want to live in, and forget to envision what they are willing to do to put forth the effort, energy, and work to have what they want. I've learned the more I do the hard things, the easier my life gets. When I do the easy things, the harder my life gets. Believe in yourself and take the necessary actions. If you don't think what you want is possible, borrow my belief in you. The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to pick one area of your life where you've been making excuses or taking the path of least resistance. Identify the potential you have in this area that you have not fully tapped into if you were to do the work. Visualize in detail what it would look like and feel like if you put in the effort and achieved the success you desire. Let yourself believe at your core that you are capable of making it happen. Then, write down 1-3 small, specific action steps you can take this week to start making progress. They should feel challenging and actionable. Remember, the only limits on your potential are the ones you place on yourself. That's the power of Upside Thinking.
More Posts
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