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The Upside of Gray
Lisa Marie Platske • Feb 13, 2018
This week’s Upside Thought is by guest writer and Upside Thinking, Inc. Coach, Suzanne Dudley Schon. She was recently on stage at Design Your Destiny Live sharing her wisdom and genius. Suzanne brings truth and a bit of feistiness to the community. Enjoy discovering the Upside of Gray!
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The upside of gray…
I woke up today after a string of lovely, sunny days and the sky was a flat gray and there was a forecast for possible rain. Not my favorite. Not bad. Just gray… Sometimes the weather seems to affect my mood or it causes me to observe the impact on my mood differently.
Today, it got me to thinking that we have a lot of beliefs around “gray.”
Most commonly it holds connotations of not much fun, ill-defined, neither here nor there, not-positive, and uncertain-which most people find uncomfortable and a little gloomy.
When recently visiting a friend who lives outside of Atlanta, I learned something that I have only intuited before.
My friend is a brilliant photographer (among many things). She spent some time trying to teach me about apertures and shutter speeds and light. As the sun began to tuck itself behind some clouds, I noticed that the colors of the autumn leaves seemed more vibrant. Even the roadside flowers and the apples sitting in a basket seemed more clear and colorful.
I remarked on this phenomena to my friend, and she said, “Oh, you’re starting to see like a photographer!” She went on to say that bright sunny days are actually not the best for taking pictures. The light is too harsh, too direct. The gray, slightly cloudy days actually make the colors pop and allow the eye and camera to see more…
With her comment, I could practically hear a coin roll into the slot in my brain marked, “Value of Gray Days.”
As I thought about the physical significance of light and color and observations, I also mused about the metaphoric ones as well. How does an emotionally gray day show up for me? What is a gray day at work? What constitutes a gray area of understanding? What is a gray mental day feel and look like?
As I rolled the questions around in my mind, it struck me that in all of those grays, there is an upside perspective. A way of looking at the situation that if mined properly can yield bright colors, greater definition, understanding, and interesting detail.
Can you remember a day or moment that felt gray?
Was it in-between or uncertain or just not bright, clear, and sunny?
Can you recall what you did with that day?
Did you let it enfold you in gray lethargy or did you end up seeing more?
Here are 3 thoughts on having the upside of gray:
- “The gray” can be an invitation for you to look more carefully. You could notice a detail or two that you might have overlooked from your sunnier inspection. Fascinating questions or inquiry may be held within that “gray area.”
- When you hyper-focus on the hunt to a solution, it’s like having a full sun on the problem. However, sometimes the solutions actually reside on the edges. And oft times, it’s when you look away that you discover an A-HA moment.
- When a perspective is only delineated in two categories or rigid boundaries, it can lead to blind spots—and a great deal of misunderstanding and misrepresentation. Gray can actually show details, variation, granularity, specifics that are important to consider rather than being tossed into only two buckets.
The Upside of Gray - Suzanne Dudley Schon, Coach, Speaker, and Author, is a catalyst who is passionate about helping people to see differently, think differently, and act differently so that they experience freedom, joy, and true success – as they define it — in every area of their lives.
She graduated with a Degree in Psychology from Duke University, and beyond her academic studies, Coach Training, Reiki Training, and years of experience coaching clients, Suzanne considers her own life experience an invaluable source of her education.
Her newly published book, Out Of The Box, A Journey In and Out of Emotional Captivity, has received rave reviews. And, Suzanne is also a trustee and board member of several non-profits, is a poet, actress, and the mother of two children, three step-children, and four geriatric dogs.
Although she appears to be one of the WASPiest looking people in any given room, Suzanne is actually fluent in Spanish. The daughter of a Dominican woman and a New England born attorney, she credits the roulette wheel of DNA to her unusual combination of creative flare and pragmatism.
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Action Item:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to determine where are you gray (feeling, work, relationship, situation) and identify what action you will take to turn it into something positive.
Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
18 Apr, 2024
I talk and write about the pursuit of your mission, purpose, and calling. Most folks feel when this 'shows up', it will come with a marching band, balloons, and a parade of unicorns. Life will somehow become magical from this day forward. Not exactly. Your Calling is: "... an urgent and divine inspiration to accept responsibility to do hard things ." Yep. You heard right. Hard things. That means you've got to train and gear up, and be prepared in all areas of your life so you are strong enough to handle what will come your way. - Physically - Emotionally - Intellectually - Financially - Spiritually - Relationally - Creatively The best way for me to do that is to ~ pause each day, ~ take inventory, and ~ reflect on all I have been given. Enjoy your life... and remember, you are designed for More. And the World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to take one clear action moving you closer to your Divine mission and calling. Take time each day to pause and prepare yourself in all areas of life so you are strong enough to handle what comes your way. As you deliberately prepare yourself, you'll be ready to boldly step into the next chapter of your life. Remember, you are designed for more. And the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
15 Apr, 2024
Most folks don't run out of the gate towards hard things. It's easier to take the path that feels safe, which is why it's called a "comfort zone." Yet, struggle and challenges are what bring the greatest level of personal satisfaction. This is a dilemma for most folks... my clients and myself included. When I began asking myself the question, " What will allow me to be incredibly uncomfortable today? " and running towards that, my life shifted. That doesn't mean I go out of my way to create pain or discomfort. Rather, I push my growth edges understanding their purpose and their value when hard shows up in my life. To do this, I make what matters most to me visible -- something so it's top of mind -- and continue moving towards it. The saying, "out of sight, out of mind" rings true. When you have a physical reminder of what matters most, it serves as a beacon reminding you of who you are and the importance of why you need to shine the light you have inside you brightly. This invitation is to ensure you remain aligned with who you say you are. In my recent prayer time, I heard the Holy Spirit instructing me to "organize my day." Yet this message was not only about putting one task in front of another, but rather the value of me walking the journey of life with intention. You don't have to see all of the steps to get what you want or where you want to go. You do have to identify the first step to take. And then the one after that. When you're clear on the next right thing to do, it's easier to jump into action. Over time, I've discovered that my actions are often messy, and while imperfect action is better than no action at all, I could have avoided some pitfalls along the way. Again, I'm not interested in creating discomfort, but I'm interested in orienting my next steps so that when hard does show up, I'm prepared. Make your list. Start with one action. ~ Write who you are. ~ Write down what you want. ~ Write down why it matters. Leave yourself notes or calendar pings. Remind yourself you can do hard things. Because... the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one "growth edge" area of discomfort that you have been avoiding, and take a small step towards leaning into it. Maybe it's having a difficult conversation, putting yourself out there in a new way, or starting a project you've been procrastinating on. Get specific about what growth opportunity has been lingering in your comfort zone. Once you pinpoint the area, schedule a dedicated 1-hour block this week to take one small, imperfect action towards that uncomfortable growth edge. Repeat this "leaning into discomfort" practice weekly or monthly. The more you make discomfort a chosen ally for growth rather than a threat, the more your brilliance expands. The world needs courageous leaders like you who walk towards their edges.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
08 Apr, 2024
I once preached the virtue of courage while living a life that screamed otherwise. Sure, I believed in the idea of courageous leadership, being your own boss, and achieving success independently. Yet, I'd never experienced it. During my 24x7 government job days, I enjoyed the perks of a steady paycheck, job security, and benefits. I spent time thinking about my next pay increase, how much leave I could save, and when I'd be promoted again. My life was in someone else's hands. After getting married in November of 2004, I stood at a crossroads with an opportunity to decide what I wanted to do for my career all over again. I enjoyed working in Federal law enforcement. It was familiar and had job security and all the overtime I wanted. When I decided to walk away, folks thought I was crazy. Why leave the comfort of a steady paycheck to the unknown?!? To nothing? Over time, I learned why entrepreneurship is not for everyone. Early on, I struggled with believing I could do this business. Every day felt uncertain, and I had many sleepless nights wondering if I wouldn't take us to the cliff of financial ruin. Jim got tired of talking me off the ledge so one day he put his foot down and said, " This is the last time we're gonna have this conversation. Either do it or get a job. " Eeek. That moment created a shift in me. A fundamental transformation of heart and mind. Why am I sharing this with you? Some things you have to experience and live through. Understanding a truth that is heard - and told to you by someone else - is not always the same as a truth that is lived. When you choose experience over what you've heard, it's a different life. Have you experienced all that you tell yourself and others that you believe? Or, are you simply an echo chamber of what you've heard others say?!? Evaluate your beliefs. Evaluate where they come from. Evaluate them based on who you are. Base your truth on personal experience because when you live what you believe, your life will change. For the better. And that's when you'll discover what and who are trustworthy. Go shine your light. Because The World Needs You... and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one core belief or value that you have simply inherited from others rather than cultivated through personal experience. Spend some time in honest self-reflection. Which of your stated beliefs around relationships, career, spirituality, etc. have you truly put to the test of real-world application? Where might you be an "echo chamber"? Once you pinpoint an inherited belief you want to validate, make a plan to put it into practice through direct experience this week. For example, if you believe strongly in generosity and have not practiced radical giving - donate time or money in a way that stretches you. The world needs more leaders like you willing to walk their talk with empowering beliefs and values.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
04 Apr, 2024
Do you have a clear plan for your life in place? Most folks don't. They wake up every day and run on auto-pilot -- and it's often a bit like Groundhog Day. ~ Brush teeth. Check. ~ Comb hair. Check. ~ Go to work. Check. ~ Make dinner. Check. ~ Go to sleep. Check. The world is filled with folks who will go their whole lives and not live one day. And, for those that have a clear plan, it's not always aligned with their values or mission. See, your plan for life operates as a roadmap. It ensures the destination has clear steps mapped out so you get where you want to go in the short-term and long-term. A clear plan is more than an idea. It's written down with a core why and answers the questions: - Who am I? - What do I want? - Why does it matter? And that's also the foundation of the Divine Operating System. Over the years, I've had folks ask me how I've been able to do so much. Understanding the answers to these questions is how. And here's a real-life example... One of my clients wanted to climb Mount Everest. When I asked why, his answer moved me to tears. "To save lives." He was doing it as a fundraiser for those who couldn't ever reach the peak, and as a way to inspire and challenge those in his life. It's that level of clarity that fuels the fire of the passion that is your Divine mission. Some days it feels as if life is coming at me from all angles, and I can't keep up. Yet, when I go back to what's most important - my Divine mission -- I am able to refuel and take the next inspired action. Answer those three questions and let your light shine brightly. Because The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. Now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one passion pursuit that ignites your "Divine mission" and plan how to devote more time to it. Think about what interests, hobbies or causes light up your deeper "why" - the motivating reason you want to make a difference in the world. Once you've chosen this passion aligned with your Divine mission, block off 2-3 hours this week dedicated solely to engaging in that activity. Treat it as an important step towards realizing your vision. Afterwards, reflect on how you can proactively make more room for this activity in your regular schedule going forward. The world needs more leaders like you operating in full alignment with their brilliance and life's deeper "why".
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
18 Apr, 2024
I talk and write about the pursuit of your mission, purpose, and calling. Most folks feel when this 'shows up', it will come with a marching band, balloons, and a parade of unicorns. Life will somehow become magical from this day forward. Not exactly. Your Calling is: "... an urgent and divine inspiration to accept responsibility to do hard things ." Yep. You heard right. Hard things. That means you've got to train and gear up, and be prepared in all areas of your life so you are strong enough to handle what will come your way. - Physically - Emotionally - Intellectually - Financially - Spiritually - Relationally - Creatively The best way for me to do that is to ~ pause each day, ~ take inventory, and ~ reflect on all I have been given. Enjoy your life... and remember, you are designed for More. And the World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge of the week is to take one clear action moving you closer to your Divine mission and calling. Take time each day to pause and prepare yourself in all areas of life so you are strong enough to handle what comes your way. As you deliberately prepare yourself, you'll be ready to boldly step into the next chapter of your life. Remember, you are designed for more. And the world needs you and your brilliance.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
15 Apr, 2024
Most folks don't run out of the gate towards hard things. It's easier to take the path that feels safe, which is why it's called a "comfort zone." Yet, struggle and challenges are what bring the greatest level of personal satisfaction. This is a dilemma for most folks... my clients and myself included. When I began asking myself the question, " What will allow me to be incredibly uncomfortable today? " and running towards that, my life shifted. That doesn't mean I go out of my way to create pain or discomfort. Rather, I push my growth edges understanding their purpose and their value when hard shows up in my life. To do this, I make what matters most to me visible -- something so it's top of mind -- and continue moving towards it. The saying, "out of sight, out of mind" rings true. When you have a physical reminder of what matters most, it serves as a beacon reminding you of who you are and the importance of why you need to shine the light you have inside you brightly. This invitation is to ensure you remain aligned with who you say you are. In my recent prayer time, I heard the Holy Spirit instructing me to "organize my day." Yet this message was not only about putting one task in front of another, but rather the value of me walking the journey of life with intention. You don't have to see all of the steps to get what you want or where you want to go. You do have to identify the first step to take. And then the one after that. When you're clear on the next right thing to do, it's easier to jump into action. Over time, I've discovered that my actions are often messy, and while imperfect action is better than no action at all, I could have avoided some pitfalls along the way. Again, I'm not interested in creating discomfort, but I'm interested in orienting my next steps so that when hard does show up, I'm prepared. Make your list. Start with one action. ~ Write who you are. ~ Write down what you want. ~ Write down why it matters. Leave yourself notes or calendar pings. Remind yourself you can do hard things. Because... the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one "growth edge" area of discomfort that you have been avoiding, and take a small step towards leaning into it. Maybe it's having a difficult conversation, putting yourself out there in a new way, or starting a project you've been procrastinating on. Get specific about what growth opportunity has been lingering in your comfort zone. Once you pinpoint the area, schedule a dedicated 1-hour block this week to take one small, imperfect action towards that uncomfortable growth edge. Repeat this "leaning into discomfort" practice weekly or monthly. The more you make discomfort a chosen ally for growth rather than a threat, the more your brilliance expands. The world needs courageous leaders like you who walk towards their edges.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
08 Apr, 2024
I once preached the virtue of courage while living a life that screamed otherwise. Sure, I believed in the idea of courageous leadership, being your own boss, and achieving success independently. Yet, I'd never experienced it. During my 24x7 government job days, I enjoyed the perks of a steady paycheck, job security, and benefits. I spent time thinking about my next pay increase, how much leave I could save, and when I'd be promoted again. My life was in someone else's hands. After getting married in November of 2004, I stood at a crossroads with an opportunity to decide what I wanted to do for my career all over again. I enjoyed working in Federal law enforcement. It was familiar and had job security and all the overtime I wanted. When I decided to walk away, folks thought I was crazy. Why leave the comfort of a steady paycheck to the unknown?!? To nothing? Over time, I learned why entrepreneurship is not for everyone. Early on, I struggled with believing I could do this business. Every day felt uncertain, and I had many sleepless nights wondering if I wouldn't take us to the cliff of financial ruin. Jim got tired of talking me off the ledge so one day he put his foot down and said, " This is the last time we're gonna have this conversation. Either do it or get a job. " Eeek. That moment created a shift in me. A fundamental transformation of heart and mind. Why am I sharing this with you? Some things you have to experience and live through. Understanding a truth that is heard - and told to you by someone else - is not always the same as a truth that is lived. When you choose experience over what you've heard, it's a different life. Have you experienced all that you tell yourself and others that you believe? Or, are you simply an echo chamber of what you've heard others say?!? Evaluate your beliefs. Evaluate where they come from. Evaluate them based on who you are. Base your truth on personal experience because when you live what you believe, your life will change. For the better. And that's when you'll discover what and who are trustworthy. Go shine your light. Because The World Needs You... and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one core belief or value that you have simply inherited from others rather than cultivated through personal experience. Spend some time in honest self-reflection. Which of your stated beliefs around relationships, career, spirituality, etc. have you truly put to the test of real-world application? Where might you be an "echo chamber"? Once you pinpoint an inherited belief you want to validate, make a plan to put it into practice through direct experience this week. For example, if you believe strongly in generosity and have not practiced radical giving - donate time or money in a way that stretches you. The world needs more leaders like you willing to walk their talk with empowering beliefs and values.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
04 Apr, 2024
Do you have a clear plan for your life in place? Most folks don't. They wake up every day and run on auto-pilot -- and it's often a bit like Groundhog Day. ~ Brush teeth. Check. ~ Comb hair. Check. ~ Go to work. Check. ~ Make dinner. Check. ~ Go to sleep. Check. The world is filled with folks who will go their whole lives and not live one day. And, for those that have a clear plan, it's not always aligned with their values or mission. See, your plan for life operates as a roadmap. It ensures the destination has clear steps mapped out so you get where you want to go in the short-term and long-term. A clear plan is more than an idea. It's written down with a core why and answers the questions: - Who am I? - What do I want? - Why does it matter? And that's also the foundation of the Divine Operating System. Over the years, I've had folks ask me how I've been able to do so much. Understanding the answers to these questions is how. And here's a real-life example... One of my clients wanted to climb Mount Everest. When I asked why, his answer moved me to tears. "To save lives." He was doing it as a fundraiser for those who couldn't ever reach the peak, and as a way to inspire and challenge those in his life. It's that level of clarity that fuels the fire of the passion that is your Divine mission. Some days it feels as if life is coming at me from all angles, and I can't keep up. Yet, when I go back to what's most important - my Divine mission -- I am able to refuel and take the next inspired action. Answer those three questions and let your light shine brightly. Because The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. Now more than ever. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one passion pursuit that ignites your "Divine mission" and plan how to devote more time to it. Think about what interests, hobbies or causes light up your deeper "why" - the motivating reason you want to make a difference in the world. Once you've chosen this passion aligned with your Divine mission, block off 2-3 hours this week dedicated solely to engaging in that activity. Treat it as an important step towards realizing your vision. Afterwards, reflect on how you can proactively make more room for this activity in your regular schedule going forward. The world needs more leaders like you operating in full alignment with their brilliance and life's deeper "why".
Upside Your Business & Your Life!
