The Upside of Gray
Lisa Marie Platske • February 13, 2018
This week’s Upside Thought is by guest writer and Upside Thinking, Inc. Coach, Suzanne Dudley Schon. She was recently on stage at Design Your Destiny Live sharing her wisdom and genius. Suzanne brings truth and a bit of feistiness to the community. Enjoy discovering the Upside of Gray!
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The upside of gray…
I woke up today after a string of lovely, sunny days and the sky was a flat gray and there was a forecast for possible rain. Not my favorite. Not bad. Just gray… Sometimes the weather seems to affect my mood or it causes me to observe the impact on my mood differently.
Today, it got me to thinking that we have a lot of beliefs around “gray.”
Most commonly it holds connotations of not much fun, ill-defined, neither here nor there, not-positive, and uncertain-which most people find uncomfortable and a little gloomy.
When recently visiting a friend who lives outside of Atlanta, I learned something that I have only intuited before.
My friend is a brilliant photographer (among many things). She spent some time trying to teach me about apertures and shutter speeds and light. As the sun began to tuck itself behind some clouds, I noticed that the colors of the autumn leaves seemed more vibrant. Even the roadside flowers and the apples sitting in a basket seemed more clear and colorful.
I remarked on this phenomena to my friend, and she said, “Oh, you’re starting to see like a photographer!” She went on to say that bright sunny days are actually not the best for taking pictures. The light is too harsh, too direct. The gray, slightly cloudy days actually make the colors pop and allow the eye and camera to see more…
With her comment, I could practically hear a coin roll into the slot in my brain marked, “Value of Gray Days.”
As I thought about the physical significance of light and color and observations, I also mused about the metaphoric ones as well. How does an emotionally gray day show up for me? What is a gray day at work? What constitutes a gray area of understanding? What is a gray mental day feel and look like?
As I rolled the questions around in my mind, it struck me that in all of those grays, there is an upside perspective. A way of looking at the situation that if mined properly can yield bright colors, greater definition, understanding, and interesting detail.
Can you remember a day or moment that felt gray?
Was it in-between or uncertain or just not bright, clear, and sunny?
Can you recall what you did with that day?
Did you let it enfold you in gray lethargy or did you end up seeing more?
Here are 3 thoughts on having the upside of gray:
- “The gray” can be an invitation for you to look more carefully. You could notice a detail or two that you might have overlooked from your sunnier inspection. Fascinating questions or inquiry may be held within that “gray area.”
- When you hyper-focus on the hunt to a solution, it’s like having a full sun on the problem. However, sometimes the solutions actually reside on the edges. And oft times, it’s when you look away that you discover an A-HA moment.
- When a perspective is only delineated in two categories or rigid boundaries, it can lead to blind spots—and a great deal of misunderstanding and misrepresentation. Gray can actually show details, variation, granularity, specifics that are important to consider rather than being tossed into only two buckets.
The Upside of Gray - Suzanne Dudley Schon, Coach, Speaker, and Author, is a catalyst who is passionate about helping people to see differently, think differently, and act differently so that they experience freedom, joy, and true success – as they define it — in every area of their lives.
She graduated with a Degree in Psychology from Duke University, and beyond her academic studies, Coach Training, Reiki Training, and years of experience coaching clients, Suzanne considers her own life experience an invaluable source of her education.
Her newly published book, Out Of The Box, A Journey In and Out of Emotional Captivity, has received rave reviews. And, Suzanne is also a trustee and board member of several non-profits, is a poet, actress, and the mother of two children, three step-children, and four geriatric dogs.
Although she appears to be one of the WASPiest looking people in any given room, Suzanne is actually fluent in Spanish. The daughter of a Dominican woman and a New England born attorney, she credits the roulette wheel of DNA to her unusual combination of creative flare and pragmatism.
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Action Item:
The Upside Challenge of the week is to determine where are you gray (feeling, work, relationship, situation) and identify what action you will take to turn it into something positive.
Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 17, 2025
Leadership requires consciousness and courage. Lots of folks have talent. Yet, it's rare to see a leader with 360-degree awareness who has the courage to stand in the dark places where leadership is often required to go. This is why for years I've shouted from the rooftops that comfort doesn't change the world. (I even have a shirt in the Upside store that has it printed on the back.) Because no matter how many gifts you've been given, or how much raw talent you possess, you can't erase the struggles of the human experience. You can numb. You can follow. Or, you can choose to step up and lead. And doing the latter is the hardest. All day long I'd much rather have all of the autonomy with little to no responsibility. Yet I understand to do that is copping out on the full usage of my divine gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. I was built to lead. And that means being responsible ... when things go right, and when they don't. Over the years, I've numbed out on mindless TV shows, and unhealthy fast food only to get me further off-course from my divine mission and purpose. Gaining weight and feeling tired were just symptoms of an unhealthy system, and a socially acceptable way to numb. Leadership takes strength and discipline that are rooted in consciousness and courage. Because most folks don't want to be accountable at that level, they'll opt out and choose to follow someone else's lead. That's never been my style. I've learned more from going through hard times than I ever did sitting on Easy Street. The best piece is that you get to choose for yourself. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one thing the future you, the one fully walking in your divine assignment, would do. You already know what it is, that nudge you’ve been feeling. That quiet pull from God asking you to move. Maybe it’s making the call, saying no, saying yes, clearing space to think, or finally following through on what you said mattered. Whatever it is, stop numbing around it. Take the step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 10, 2025
Every so often, I read something that inspires me to be better. After a month of giving to clients at two retreats and working privately with a client through a one-on-one VIP leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm, this story touches me in a very deep way. Sometimes folks ask me if it's possible to overgive. This story answers that question beautifully. "I asked the leaf whether it was frightened because it was autumn and the other leaves were falling. The leaf told me, "No. During the whole spring and summer, I was completely alive. I worked hard to help nourish the tree, and now much of me is in the tree. I am not limited by this form. I am also the whole tree, and when I go back to the soil, I will continue to nourish the tree. So I don’t worry at all. As I leave this branch and float to the ground, I will wave to the tree and tell her, 'I will see you again very soon'." That day, there was a wind blowing and, after a while, I saw the leaf leave the branch and float down to the soil, dancing joyfully, because as it floated it saw itself already there in the tree. It was so happy. I bowed my head, knowing that I have a lot to learn from the leaf." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh Reading that story reminded me of the leaders I encounter. The ones who give deeply, love fiercely, and show up fully, even when no one’s watching. You may not always see the impact you’re having. You may wonder if it’s too much, or if it even matters. What I know to be true is... Nothing is ever wasted. ~ Every act of service… ~ Every moment of generosity… ~ Every time you choose love over fear… ... It all lives on. Just like the leaf, your presence remains long after the moment passes. What you’ve built and what you’ve become—it stays on. So if you’ve been wondering whether it’s okay to rest, to pause, to let go… It is. Because your leadership is already rooted in what you've poured yourself into. This is the holy space between what was and what’s next. And you, leader, are right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to write one truth you know about leadership or legacy on a sticky note or card. Make it simple and true for you. Maybe it’s… “My presence changes the room.” “I was created to lead with love.” “What I build matters.” And then place it somewhere you’ll see it—your mirror, your journal, the dashboard of your car. Let it meet you in the in-between moments. And let it serve as a reminder of who you are.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 3, 2025
For years, Valentine’s Day has been my 2nd favorite holiday after Thanksgiving. Every year, I notice people talking about love and being loving, equating it to what they got from their partner. One year, I wrote a post where I joked around about asking Jim for toilets — which was true. And some folks were horrified. Valentine's Day hasn't been one of my favorite holidays for 4 decades because of the gifts I've received, although I have gotten some spectacular ones. Rather, Valentine's Day offers folks a reminder to see through the lens of love, no matter where they're at or what they're experiencing. LOVE is the vibration I want to operate on 365 days throughout the year. It’s how I want to be REMEMBERED. In a few days, Jim and I will celebrate 21 years of marriage. Yes, 21 years. That kind of time gives you a deeper understanding of what love really is. And it’s not always grand or visible. Being loving and kind isn’t hard to do. And it's not easy, either. It does require intentional choice in every circumstance and situation. Once you set your mind that’s who you want to be, you’ll see opportunities to be loving and kind all day long. Researchers have discovered that you also get what’s called the ‘helper’s high’ when you operate this way… …because acts of altruism trigger the same endorphins as a ‘runner’s high.' What does this look like? Smile. At people you’ve never met. Hold the door open for a stranger. Give BIG hugs to the people you care about most. Say “please” – and say “thank you”. You’d be surprised at how few people actually do. Surprise a friend with a phone call or a gift of appreciation … for no reason other than they were on your mind. Give back and volunteer your time at a colleague’s event, local animal shelter, or soup kitchen. (Yes, they still have those.) Pay for someone’s cup of coffee at the drive-thru or the person standing behind you in line at Starbucks. When I lived in New Jersey, I used to pay for people’s tolls before EZPass came along and took away the fun of it. Go through your closet and donate the clothing you still love, yet haven’t worn in a long time. Look for opportunities to pay someone a compliment – and then do it. You just may make their day. Text or call a loved one just to say, “I’m thinking about you…” Bring your neighbors flowers. Loving-kindness is just a way of being. You don’t need a special day or any holiday for LOVE to show up. And the best leaders get this. So if you want to be the kind of leader who leaves a legacy... Start there. Lead with love. Even when no one’s watching. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice one unseen act of loving-kindness. Choose one person in your world — a colleague, neighbor, team member, or friend — and do something kind without telling them it was you. It can be a handwritten note, a small gift, a thoughtful gesture, or an act of service. Then notice how it shifts you — because powerful leadership begins in the places no one else sees.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 27, 2025
When I was 6 years old, I understood there was something powerful for me to do on the planet. A mission that was bigger than me. Bigger than I could comprehend. And I get that sounds crazy as I was simultaneously learning how to count, and add 4 + 6 to come up with 10. What I can tell you that I'm clear about is that despite that inner knowing, I floundered over the years trying to figure out how I could really step into this Calling. How could this possibly be mine to do?!? From hiding it, burying it, and avoiding it, it seemed I kept running away from what I knew was mine to do in the world. There is a shift that happens in a person’s life when they realize it’s time to step up and become the leader they are destined to be. ~ To make an impact ~ To be a force for good on the planet ~ To step into their Calling See, God doesn't give folks little missions. They're all big and designed for exactly how you're wired. For me, it started with a grand vision as a little girl. For others, it may reveal itself over time, perhaps after decades of transformational experiences. Your mission matters—and the world needs you and your brilliance. So, regardless of whether you are on your journey, it’s time to look at leadership from this lens vs. that of job positions and titles. Now’s the moment to stop questioning whether it’s yours. It is. And the next step is yours to take. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to sit down and ask yourself: What’s one thing I keep feeling called to do yet I haven’t acted on? Name it and just write it down. Then decide how you’ll honor it in the next 48 hours. Take one clear, intentional step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 17, 2025
Leadership requires consciousness and courage. Lots of folks have talent. Yet, it's rare to see a leader with 360-degree awareness who has the courage to stand in the dark places where leadership is often required to go. This is why for years I've shouted from the rooftops that comfort doesn't change the world. (I even have a shirt in the Upside store that has it printed on the back.) Because no matter how many gifts you've been given, or how much raw talent you possess, you can't erase the struggles of the human experience. You can numb. You can follow. Or, you can choose to step up and lead. And doing the latter is the hardest. All day long I'd much rather have all of the autonomy with little to no responsibility. Yet I understand to do that is copping out on the full usage of my divine gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences. I was built to lead. And that means being responsible ... when things go right, and when they don't. Over the years, I've numbed out on mindless TV shows, and unhealthy fast food only to get me further off-course from my divine mission and purpose. Gaining weight and feeling tired were just symptoms of an unhealthy system, and a socially acceptable way to numb. Leadership takes strength and discipline that are rooted in consciousness and courage. Because most folks don't want to be accountable at that level, they'll opt out and choose to follow someone else's lead. That's never been my style. I've learned more from going through hard times than I ever did sitting on Easy Street. The best piece is that you get to choose for yourself. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to choose one thing the future you, the one fully walking in your divine assignment, would do. You already know what it is, that nudge you’ve been feeling. That quiet pull from God asking you to move. Maybe it’s making the call, saying no, saying yes, clearing space to think, or finally following through on what you said mattered. Whatever it is, stop numbing around it. Take the step.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 10, 2025
Every so often, I read something that inspires me to be better. After a month of giving to clients at two retreats and working privately with a client through a one-on-one VIP leadership retreat at Summit Hills Farm, this story touches me in a very deep way. Sometimes folks ask me if it's possible to overgive. This story answers that question beautifully. "I asked the leaf whether it was frightened because it was autumn and the other leaves were falling. The leaf told me, "No. During the whole spring and summer, I was completely alive. I worked hard to help nourish the tree, and now much of me is in the tree. I am not limited by this form. I am also the whole tree, and when I go back to the soil, I will continue to nourish the tree. So I don’t worry at all. As I leave this branch and float to the ground, I will wave to the tree and tell her, 'I will see you again very soon'." That day, there was a wind blowing and, after a while, I saw the leaf leave the branch and float down to the soil, dancing joyfully, because as it floated it saw itself already there in the tree. It was so happy. I bowed my head, knowing that I have a lot to learn from the leaf." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh Reading that story reminded me of the leaders I encounter. The ones who give deeply, love fiercely, and show up fully, even when no one’s watching. You may not always see the impact you’re having. You may wonder if it’s too much, or if it even matters. What I know to be true is... Nothing is ever wasted. ~ Every act of service… ~ Every moment of generosity… ~ Every time you choose love over fear… ... It all lives on. Just like the leaf, your presence remains long after the moment passes. What you’ve built and what you’ve become—it stays on. So if you’ve been wondering whether it’s okay to rest, to pause, to let go… It is. Because your leadership is already rooted in what you've poured yourself into. This is the holy space between what was and what’s next. And you, leader, are right on time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to write one truth you know about leadership or legacy on a sticky note or card. Make it simple and true for you. Maybe it’s… “My presence changes the room.” “I was created to lead with love.” “What I build matters.” And then place it somewhere you’ll see it—your mirror, your journal, the dashboard of your car. Let it meet you in the in-between moments. And let it serve as a reminder of who you are.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
November 3, 2025
For years, Valentine’s Day has been my 2nd favorite holiday after Thanksgiving. Every year, I notice people talking about love and being loving, equating it to what they got from their partner. One year, I wrote a post where I joked around about asking Jim for toilets — which was true. And some folks were horrified. Valentine's Day hasn't been one of my favorite holidays for 4 decades because of the gifts I've received, although I have gotten some spectacular ones. Rather, Valentine's Day offers folks a reminder to see through the lens of love, no matter where they're at or what they're experiencing. LOVE is the vibration I want to operate on 365 days throughout the year. It’s how I want to be REMEMBERED. In a few days, Jim and I will celebrate 21 years of marriage. Yes, 21 years. That kind of time gives you a deeper understanding of what love really is. And it’s not always grand or visible. Being loving and kind isn’t hard to do. And it's not easy, either. It does require intentional choice in every circumstance and situation. Once you set your mind that’s who you want to be, you’ll see opportunities to be loving and kind all day long. Researchers have discovered that you also get what’s called the ‘helper’s high’ when you operate this way… …because acts of altruism trigger the same endorphins as a ‘runner’s high.' What does this look like? Smile. At people you’ve never met. Hold the door open for a stranger. Give BIG hugs to the people you care about most. Say “please” – and say “thank you”. You’d be surprised at how few people actually do. Surprise a friend with a phone call or a gift of appreciation … for no reason other than they were on your mind. Give back and volunteer your time at a colleague’s event, local animal shelter, or soup kitchen. (Yes, they still have those.) Pay for someone’s cup of coffee at the drive-thru or the person standing behind you in line at Starbucks. When I lived in New Jersey, I used to pay for people’s tolls before EZPass came along and took away the fun of it. Go through your closet and donate the clothing you still love, yet haven’t worn in a long time. Look for opportunities to pay someone a compliment – and then do it. You just may make their day. Text or call a loved one just to say, “I’m thinking about you…” Bring your neighbors flowers. Loving-kindness is just a way of being. You don’t need a special day or any holiday for LOVE to show up. And the best leaders get this. So if you want to be the kind of leader who leaves a legacy... Start there. Lead with love. Even when no one’s watching. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to practice one unseen act of loving-kindness. Choose one person in your world — a colleague, neighbor, team member, or friend — and do something kind without telling them it was you. It can be a handwritten note, a small gift, a thoughtful gesture, or an act of service. Then notice how it shifts you — because powerful leadership begins in the places no one else sees.
By Lisa Marie Platske
•
October 27, 2025
When I was 6 years old, I understood there was something powerful for me to do on the planet. A mission that was bigger than me. Bigger than I could comprehend. And I get that sounds crazy as I was simultaneously learning how to count, and add 4 + 6 to come up with 10. What I can tell you that I'm clear about is that despite that inner knowing, I floundered over the years trying to figure out how I could really step into this Calling. How could this possibly be mine to do?!? From hiding it, burying it, and avoiding it, it seemed I kept running away from what I knew was mine to do in the world. There is a shift that happens in a person’s life when they realize it’s time to step up and become the leader they are destined to be. ~ To make an impact ~ To be a force for good on the planet ~ To step into their Calling See, God doesn't give folks little missions. They're all big and designed for exactly how you're wired. For me, it started with a grand vision as a little girl. For others, it may reveal itself over time, perhaps after decades of transformational experiences. Your mission matters—and the world needs you and your brilliance. So, regardless of whether you are on your journey, it’s time to look at leadership from this lens vs. that of job positions and titles. Now’s the moment to stop questioning whether it’s yours. It is. And the next step is yours to take. ACTION: The Upside Challenge for the week is to sit down and ask yourself: What’s one thing I keep feeling called to do yet I haven’t acted on? Name it and just write it down. Then decide how you’ll honor it in the next 48 hours. Take one clear, intentional step.
