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Where I’ve Failed This Year

Lisa Marie Platske • Dec 12, 2017

 

Like any other human begin, this year I’ve failed. Because of my continued commitment to transparency, I want to share my top 3 failures with the entire Upside family.


I just came back from hosting a 2-day, invitation-only Get Your Year in Gear: Influence Amplified retreat in Phoenix where there were as many tears shed as there were belly laughs.


Why? Because stepping into being a courageous, vulnerable leader takes just that – courage.


The word “courage” comes from the Latin word “cor” meaning from the heart – and the earliest definitions meant to “speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart”.


After facilitating my Influence Amplified retreat, I flew from Phoenix into San Jose to attend the 7th annual invitation-only, Leaders for Conscious Entrepreneurship retreat — where I got to mastermind with some of the most forward-thinking and heart-centered individuals in my industry.


We spent as much time if not more talking about what’s not working – and what to do about it to affect change vs. sitting around and singing each other’s praises.


Both events included deep connection, collaboration, and a bit of a reality check that included stretching growth edges which is one of the reasons I’m sharing where I’ve failed in this week’s Upside Thought.


You’ve probably heard me say I learn more from my failures than my successes.


And, when I work with private coaching clients who have a project turn out differently than expected, I always ask them what they learned from the experience – and what they would do differently.


this year - Upside Thinking


It’s humbling to review my list of failures this year as they were many.


Because of my continued commitment to transparency, I want to share my top 3 failures with the entire Upside family – partners, clients, colleagues, as well as our staff and my advisory board.


Here’s a toast to my top 3 failures of 2017 – and the lessons they brought with them.


#1. I failed at living out my own priorities……

…….and spent more time focused on others at my own expense.

Upside Thinking, Inc. has been growing in leaps and bounds which means taking care of myself must be a top priority.


Why? Because an organization is only as healthy as its leader.


How I run the business serves as a model for the people I work with and who work with me.


As a transformational leader who has family responsibilities from aging parents on both sides as well as the unique responsibilities of running a business and serving the individual needs of my clients, I spend most days putting others first.


My heart virtues are mercy, justice, and protection – and I care deeply about people.


While I share how “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” doesn’t mean I always live that out.


Yes, I took vacations this year, and went to a silent retreat house for a week – and had more than one technology-fast, however, my daily routine became off-balance as changed my morning routine to include more work and little or no movement.


If I don’t make my health the #1 priority, I will be of no good to those I am called to serve.


I recognize that what is best for me to live out my big mission and calling is for me to take care of me first.


This lesson has been a BIG one.


You are called to live out your priorities, not someone else’s and that means making you your #1 priority.


#2. I failed at being fully present……

…..and became too future-focused.

Nobel prize-winning scientist Daniel Kahnmann did research that shows that you experience 20,000 individual moments a day.


Every moment matters – and they pass so quickly.


If I spend too much time thinking about what comes next, I miss out on living in the here and now.


I miss out on the gift of the present moment.


And, this leads to me being distracted and not giving my full attention to the people who matter most in my life.


There will always be emails to attend to and work to do – and there will not always be those special moments where you get to be one-on-one, face-to-face connected to someone you love.


The best way to show others love is to be present and give them the gift of your time.


As I reflected on how much time I spent this year planning for what’s next, I remember how I would rush in to see my grandmother when I was visiting her in the nursing home – and rush out to the next appointment.


After she passed away, I realized I would never get another opportunity to be fully present with her.


Somehow this lesson was one that I had to re-learn this year – and fortunately, not through loss.


The magic happens in the present moment and if you spend too much time looking for what is to come and creating magic there, you’ll miss it unfold right before your eyes.


#3. I failed to take a stand for my own truth…..

…….and was swayed by wanting to be the nice girl.

As I’ve been delving into the value of vulnerability in leadership, I’ve come to realize that comfort doesn’t change the world.


Vulnerability changes everything.


Sometimes my decisions make other people unhappy – and while I don’t set out to make others unhappy, I realize that being uncomfortable is what will allow for the greatest growth in life.


Your comfort zone can be paralyzing and only allows you to live life at a 6 or 7 – not a 10.


In wanting to be “nice”, I’ve gone back on decisions this year that I knew were the best for all parties involved – including myself.


When I work with a client, I take a stand for their greatness, and somehow along the way this year, I stopped taking a stand for my own.


Over the past several months, I began examining when I step into an unhealthy relationship pattern (more vulnerability in leadership research) and what the consequences are to my own well-being.


Growing up, I learned how to be the good girl to keep the peace – the one who says all of the “right” things – which meant never speaking my mind fully.


Every time I chose to speak up, I got in trouble and could feel the disapproval of my family and friends.


When you do that over time, you become good at keeping your mouth shut and stuffing your emotions inside.


While it’s not healthy, it keeps your nice girl image alive and well.


Looking back, I realize that this has done me more harm than good and when I realized I was re-engaging this way ½ way through the year, I made an abrupt 180-degree turn and ran in the other direction.


Taking a stand for my own truth has not been easy.


Sometimes being with your own truth is messy, uncomfortable, and painful.


Yet, in the end it’s freeing.


And, I was never meant to be the nice girl.


I was meant to be a world-changer – a disrupter – and so were you.


Action Item:

The Upside Challenge of the week is to examine your 2017 – and where you came short this year. What have you learned from your failures? What will you do differently as you move into 2018?


The world needs you and your brilliance.

By Lisa Marie Platske 25 Mar, 2024
Peace showed up in my morning reflection time. I was reminded of this prayer, one of my grandmother's favorites. Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Yes please. I sang this poem at the Upside Summit several years ago. Peace is elusive for most folks ... especially those who fight lies that live in their head. About 15 years ago, a fellow speaker asked me to coach her on living in the present moment. She told me she struggled with sleepless nights and feeling as if she was never doing enough. I'd been there and knew what it was like to have a head full of anxious thoughts, robbed of a peaceful life. And being internally calm is something I've worked a long time on, and what many of the leaders I work with want. See, peace is no longer a struggle for me. Despite the noise and chaos that's often around me, I don't have the same level of noise in me. How about you? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Last month, I woke up to a storm and a roof leak. It's these situations where " Lord, make me an instrument of peace " comes alive in practical ways. Remember... The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to create a " Peace Practice " ritual for yourself which is especially helpful during a hectic work week. Take 5-10 minutes each day to intentionally cultivate a state of inner calm and presence. This could involve: - Sitting in silence, focusing on your breath - Listening to a guided meditation app - Reading an inspiring poem or prayer - Walking mindfully in nature - Doing gentle stretches or yoga poses The key is choosing a simple activity that allows you to release anxious thoughts. When feelings of stress, overwhelm or negativity arise, return to your Peace Practice. Use it as an anchor to realign with your intention for a peaceful mind. You get to choose calm over chronic anxiety. The world needs more leaders like you who prioritize their well-being so they can show up centered and resilient, no matter what arises.
By Lisa Marie Platske 21 Mar, 2024
Do you ever get stuck focusing on "how" you are going to do something? Most folks get fixated on the mechanics and figuring out the next steps, and then start to see imaginary obstacles, becoming paralyzed and failing to move forward. You don't have to have all the answers or even map out every step. One of my genius zones is identifying the ONE action to take that will make the biggest difference in realizing your vision. Sure, doubt may creep in, especially when the journey seems long. You may even feel overwhelmed. That's why it's best not to go it alone. I've long asked myself, " What is mine to do right now? " The million little moments have added up to me having a leadership and spiritual wellness center. Summit Hills Farm is a place where leaders come to do their work, as leadership is an inside job. The first place to start is answering three questions: ~ Who am I? ~ What do I want? ~ Why does it matter? When you answer these, the how takes care of itself. They will serve as a compass when you're feeling lost on your journey. And simple isn't easy. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one idea you've been feeling stuck on. Instead of getting overwhelmed trying to map out every step of the "how", simply ask yourself: What is the next best small step I can take to move forward? Come up with ONE manageable action step you can accomplish this week. They should feel challenging but doable. Go shine your light. And keep moving forward.
By Lisa Marie Platske 18 Mar, 2024
My computer crashed, the screen on my phone shattered after a fatal drop, and after the roof leak and busted pipe in the apartment earlier in the week, I needed a date night sooner than later. Since Jim and I are typically in bed by 8pm, when we go out to eat it's really a date lunch. (smile) We decided to try someplace new, and it ended up exceeding our expectations. And it was what I would call a Kentucky gem. The food, the people, and the sign on the wall opposite the cash register had me want to come back, as well as forget about my bumpy week. I asked the owner's fiancé about the sign which read: If You Are Hungry and Have No Money, These Meals Have Been Paid for In Advance. Give a Server the Ticket and They Will Have the Kitchen Prepare Your Meal. One Meal Per day, One Meal Per Person. She shared that people give, and folks who are in need, often the homeless, can receive a meal every day. Yet often those receiving want to help out by taking out the trash, etc. It got me thinking about the good of humans and their natural desire to want to serve and give. Everyone wants the same thing. ~ To be valued. ~ To be appreciated. ~ To be loved. The best leaders get this. Jim and I bought 8 meals and shared a little goodwill in the midst of our rollercoaster-y week. Go shine your light. It's needed. Yes... the world truly needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to perform a small act of kindness for someone in need. Look for opportunities to extend compassion - a kind word, a donation to a food bank, bringing clothes to a shelter, buying a meal for a friend who's overwhelmed or overworked. Open your eyes and heart to those struggling around you. It may be someone closer than you realize. When you give freely without expectation, you receive just as much in return. In a society focused on individual success, make it a point to consciously choose to put someone in your community first. The world is better when we lift each other up.
By Lisa Marie Platske 14 Mar, 2024
The worst part of my business is seeing people with potential and watching them squander away their opportunities, understanding that if they put the work in and did it with consistent effort, they would be successful. Massively successful. Sure, they may have to make a few sacrifices. How do you think I got to where I'm at today?!? Instead, I see many folks with potential choose the path of least resistance, making excuses for their plight. I didn't get a silver spoon; rather, I graduated from The School of Hard Knocks. You've got to believe you can achieve what you want -- and that you're worthy to have it. This determines what's possible as it's the seed that will produce delicious fruit or not. You can't choose actions and make decisions from a place of lack or scarcity. That only leads to negative results. To change the success cycle, you have to first see the outcome you want, and then believe it's possible because your mind can't tell the difference between what is imagined and what is real. This goes back to the body of work that Aristotle and Plato brought to the world. If you can start to envision what your life will be like putting in the effort and getting the results, you can change the momentum in your life. Most people only envision the result -- and not the work. They see the car they want to drive or the house they want to live in, and forget to envision what they are willing to do to put forth the effort, energy, and work to have what they want. I've learned the more I do the hard things, the easier my life gets. When I do the easy things, the harder my life gets. Believe in yourself and take the necessary actions. If you don't think what you want is possible, borrow my belief in you. The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to pick one area of your life where you've been making excuses or taking the path of least resistance. Identify the potential you have in this area that you have not fully tapped into if you were to do the work. Visualize in detail what it would look like and feel like if you put in the effort and achieved the success you desire. Let yourself believe at your core that you are capable of making it happen. Then, write down 1-3 small, specific action steps you can take this week to start making progress. They should feel challenging and actionable. Remember, the only limits on your potential are the ones you place on yourself. That's the power of Upside Thinking.
More Posts
By Lisa Marie Platske 25 Mar, 2024
Peace showed up in my morning reflection time. I was reminded of this prayer, one of my grandmother's favorites. Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Yes please. I sang this poem at the Upside Summit several years ago. Peace is elusive for most folks ... especially those who fight lies that live in their head. About 15 years ago, a fellow speaker asked me to coach her on living in the present moment. She told me she struggled with sleepless nights and feeling as if she was never doing enough. I'd been there and knew what it was like to have a head full of anxious thoughts, robbed of a peaceful life. And being internally calm is something I've worked a long time on, and what many of the leaders I work with want. See, peace is no longer a struggle for me. Despite the noise and chaos that's often around me, I don't have the same level of noise in me. How about you? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Last month, I woke up to a storm and a roof leak. It's these situations where " Lord, make me an instrument of peace " comes alive in practical ways. Remember... The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to create a " Peace Practice " ritual for yourself which is especially helpful during a hectic work week. Take 5-10 minutes each day to intentionally cultivate a state of inner calm and presence. This could involve: - Sitting in silence, focusing on your breath - Listening to a guided meditation app - Reading an inspiring poem or prayer - Walking mindfully in nature - Doing gentle stretches or yoga poses The key is choosing a simple activity that allows you to release anxious thoughts. When feelings of stress, overwhelm or negativity arise, return to your Peace Practice. Use it as an anchor to realign with your intention for a peaceful mind. You get to choose calm over chronic anxiety. The world needs more leaders like you who prioritize their well-being so they can show up centered and resilient, no matter what arises.
By Lisa Marie Platske 21 Mar, 2024
Do you ever get stuck focusing on "how" you are going to do something? Most folks get fixated on the mechanics and figuring out the next steps, and then start to see imaginary obstacles, becoming paralyzed and failing to move forward. You don't have to have all the answers or even map out every step. One of my genius zones is identifying the ONE action to take that will make the biggest difference in realizing your vision. Sure, doubt may creep in, especially when the journey seems long. You may even feel overwhelmed. That's why it's best not to go it alone. I've long asked myself, " What is mine to do right now? " The million little moments have added up to me having a leadership and spiritual wellness center. Summit Hills Farm is a place where leaders come to do their work, as leadership is an inside job. The first place to start is answering three questions: ~ Who am I? ~ What do I want? ~ Why does it matter? When you answer these, the how takes care of itself. They will serve as a compass when you're feeling lost on your journey. And simple isn't easy. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify one idea you've been feeling stuck on. Instead of getting overwhelmed trying to map out every step of the "how", simply ask yourself: What is the next best small step I can take to move forward? Come up with ONE manageable action step you can accomplish this week. They should feel challenging but doable. Go shine your light. And keep moving forward.
By Lisa Marie Platske 18 Mar, 2024
My computer crashed, the screen on my phone shattered after a fatal drop, and after the roof leak and busted pipe in the apartment earlier in the week, I needed a date night sooner than later. Since Jim and I are typically in bed by 8pm, when we go out to eat it's really a date lunch. (smile) We decided to try someplace new, and it ended up exceeding our expectations. And it was what I would call a Kentucky gem. The food, the people, and the sign on the wall opposite the cash register had me want to come back, as well as forget about my bumpy week. I asked the owner's fiancé about the sign which read: If You Are Hungry and Have No Money, These Meals Have Been Paid for In Advance. Give a Server the Ticket and They Will Have the Kitchen Prepare Your Meal. One Meal Per day, One Meal Per Person. She shared that people give, and folks who are in need, often the homeless, can receive a meal every day. Yet often those receiving want to help out by taking out the trash, etc. It got me thinking about the good of humans and their natural desire to want to serve and give. Everyone wants the same thing. ~ To be valued. ~ To be appreciated. ~ To be loved. The best leaders get this. Jim and I bought 8 meals and shared a little goodwill in the midst of our rollercoaster-y week. Go shine your light. It's needed. Yes... the world truly needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to perform a small act of kindness for someone in need. Look for opportunities to extend compassion - a kind word, a donation to a food bank, bringing clothes to a shelter, buying a meal for a friend who's overwhelmed or overworked. Open your eyes and heart to those struggling around you. It may be someone closer than you realize. When you give freely without expectation, you receive just as much in return. In a society focused on individual success, make it a point to consciously choose to put someone in your community first. The world is better when we lift each other up.
By Lisa Marie Platske 14 Mar, 2024
The worst part of my business is seeing people with potential and watching them squander away their opportunities, understanding that if they put the work in and did it with consistent effort, they would be successful. Massively successful. Sure, they may have to make a few sacrifices. How do you think I got to where I'm at today?!? Instead, I see many folks with potential choose the path of least resistance, making excuses for their plight. I didn't get a silver spoon; rather, I graduated from The School of Hard Knocks. You've got to believe you can achieve what you want -- and that you're worthy to have it. This determines what's possible as it's the seed that will produce delicious fruit or not. You can't choose actions and make decisions from a place of lack or scarcity. That only leads to negative results. To change the success cycle, you have to first see the outcome you want, and then believe it's possible because your mind can't tell the difference between what is imagined and what is real. This goes back to the body of work that Aristotle and Plato brought to the world. If you can start to envision what your life will be like putting in the effort and getting the results, you can change the momentum in your life. Most people only envision the result -- and not the work. They see the car they want to drive or the house they want to live in, and forget to envision what they are willing to do to put forth the effort, energy, and work to have what they want. I've learned the more I do the hard things, the easier my life gets. When I do the easy things, the harder my life gets. Believe in yourself and take the necessary actions. If you don't think what you want is possible, borrow my belief in you. The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to pick one area of your life where you've been making excuses or taking the path of least resistance. Identify the potential you have in this area that you have not fully tapped into if you were to do the work. Visualize in detail what it would look like and feel like if you put in the effort and achieved the success you desire. Let yourself believe at your core that you are capable of making it happen. Then, write down 1-3 small, specific action steps you can take this week to start making progress. They should feel challenging and actionable. Remember, the only limits on your potential are the ones you place on yourself. That's the power of Upside Thinking.
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