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Where I’ve Failed This Year

Lisa Marie Platske • Dec 12, 2017

 

Like any other human begin, this year I’ve failed. Because of my continued commitment to transparency, I want to share my top 3 failures with the entire Upside family.


I just came back from hosting a 2-day, invitation-only Get Your Year in Gear: Influence Amplified retreat in Phoenix where there were as many tears shed as there were belly laughs.


Why? Because stepping into being a courageous, vulnerable leader takes just that – courage.


The word “courage” comes from the Latin word “cor” meaning from the heart – and the earliest definitions meant to “speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart”.


After facilitating my Influence Amplified retreat, I flew from Phoenix into San Jose to attend the 7th annual invitation-only, Leaders for Conscious Entrepreneurship retreat — where I got to mastermind with some of the most forward-thinking and heart-centered individuals in my industry.


We spent as much time if not more talking about what’s not working – and what to do about it to affect change vs. sitting around and singing each other’s praises.


Both events included deep connection, collaboration, and a bit of a reality check that included stretching growth edges which is one of the reasons I’m sharing where I’ve failed in this week’s Upside Thought.


You’ve probably heard me say I learn more from my failures than my successes.


And, when I work with private coaching clients who have a project turn out differently than expected, I always ask them what they learned from the experience – and what they would do differently.


this year - Upside Thinking


It’s humbling to review my list of failures this year as they were many.


Because of my continued commitment to transparency, I want to share my top 3 failures with the entire Upside family – partners, clients, colleagues, as well as our staff and my advisory board.


Here’s a toast to my top 3 failures of 2017 – and the lessons they brought with them.


#1. I failed at living out my own priorities……

…….and spent more time focused on others at my own expense.

Upside Thinking, Inc. has been growing in leaps and bounds which means taking care of myself must be a top priority.


Why? Because an organization is only as healthy as its leader.


How I run the business serves as a model for the people I work with and who work with me.


As a transformational leader who has family responsibilities from aging parents on both sides as well as the unique responsibilities of running a business and serving the individual needs of my clients, I spend most days putting others first.


My heart virtues are mercy, justice, and protection – and I care deeply about people.


While I share how “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” doesn’t mean I always live that out.


Yes, I took vacations this year, and went to a silent retreat house for a week – and had more than one technology-fast, however, my daily routine became off-balance as changed my morning routine to include more work and little or no movement.


If I don’t make my health the #1 priority, I will be of no good to those I am called to serve.


I recognize that what is best for me to live out my big mission and calling is for me to take care of me first.


This lesson has been a BIG one.


You are called to live out your priorities, not someone else’s and that means making you your #1 priority.


#2. I failed at being fully present……

…..and became too future-focused.

Nobel prize-winning scientist Daniel Kahnmann did research that shows that you experience 20,000 individual moments a day.


Every moment matters – and they pass so quickly.


If I spend too much time thinking about what comes next, I miss out on living in the here and now.


I miss out on the gift of the present moment.


And, this leads to me being distracted and not giving my full attention to the people who matter most in my life.


There will always be emails to attend to and work to do – and there will not always be those special moments where you get to be one-on-one, face-to-face connected to someone you love.


The best way to show others love is to be present and give them the gift of your time.


As I reflected on how much time I spent this year planning for what’s next, I remember how I would rush in to see my grandmother when I was visiting her in the nursing home – and rush out to the next appointment.


After she passed away, I realized I would never get another opportunity to be fully present with her.


Somehow this lesson was one that I had to re-learn this year – and fortunately, not through loss.


The magic happens in the present moment and if you spend too much time looking for what is to come and creating magic there, you’ll miss it unfold right before your eyes.


#3. I failed to take a stand for my own truth…..

…….and was swayed by wanting to be the nice girl.

As I’ve been delving into the value of vulnerability in leadership, I’ve come to realize that comfort doesn’t change the world.


Vulnerability changes everything.


Sometimes my decisions make other people unhappy – and while I don’t set out to make others unhappy, I realize that being uncomfortable is what will allow for the greatest growth in life.


Your comfort zone can be paralyzing and only allows you to live life at a 6 or 7 – not a 10.


In wanting to be “nice”, I’ve gone back on decisions this year that I knew were the best for all parties involved – including myself.


When I work with a client, I take a stand for their greatness, and somehow along the way this year, I stopped taking a stand for my own.


Over the past several months, I began examining when I step into an unhealthy relationship pattern (more vulnerability in leadership research) and what the consequences are to my own well-being.


Growing up, I learned how to be the good girl to keep the peace – the one who says all of the “right” things – which meant never speaking my mind fully.


Every time I chose to speak up, I got in trouble and could feel the disapproval of my family and friends.


When you do that over time, you become good at keeping your mouth shut and stuffing your emotions inside.


While it’s not healthy, it keeps your nice girl image alive and well.


Looking back, I realize that this has done me more harm than good and when I realized I was re-engaging this way ½ way through the year, I made an abrupt 180-degree turn and ran in the other direction.


Taking a stand for my own truth has not been easy.


Sometimes being with your own truth is messy, uncomfortable, and painful.


Yet, in the end it’s freeing.


And, I was never meant to be the nice girl.


I was meant to be a world-changer – a disrupter – and so were you.


Action Item:

The Upside Challenge of the week is to examine your 2017 – and where you came short this year. What have you learned from your failures? What will you do differently as you move into 2018?


The world needs you and your brilliance.

By Lisa Marie Platske 06 May, 2024
When you commit to doing something, you're going to get to a point where the excitement will wear off. Too often, your commitment will start to feel like a chore. See, maybe the progress you envisioned doesn't happen as fast as you wanted. Or perhaps the journey has you feeling boxed in. Or maybe you're jumping hurdles questioning whether it's really worth it to stay the course. You're going to face hardship on the trek to the Summit. That's why you need Leadership . That means being clear who you are, what you want, and why it matters. You've got to have a set of core values that you use as drivers when the going gets tough. Your values are simply an invitation to be a better version of who you are right now. When you remember that your commitment is less about what you want and more about who you become, it's easier to stay engaged despite the obstacles. For example, I value protection. My daily commitment is to do push-ups in the morning. Doing push-ups allows me to be physically and emotionally stronger each day, so I can protect myself and those I love from harm. Connecting who you are with who you want to be will allow you to re-energize your commitments and motivate you to keep moving forward. Neurobiology professor Andrew Huberman coined the phrase "micro-sucks." It's when you do things you don't want to do to build your perseverance muscle. Like getting out of bed and going for a run before work. Like going to the gym after a long day at the office. Like saying "no" to dessert. To stay the course, you've got to build your tenacity muscle, the one that ensures you're going to take action on your commitment regardless of how you feel or any internal or external obstacles you may face. You need that muscle to get to the Summit. People lose their way when they lose their why. That's why I share the A.C.T. acronym at the Upside Summit and have clients at retreats do visual-action exercises. If you honored all your commitments this year, what would be different for you? How would you feel? What would be the compounded results for your overall well-being in 3 years? 5 years? 10 years? What would be different in your health, your relationships, and your work? What about if you gave up? What would life be like next year if you stayed the same or got worse? And if your life continued on that trajectory 3 years, 5 years, and 10 years later? I did that with my health to stressful consequences. We all have missteps. Yet, when you see the consequences of your actions and what you could lose, you'll find the strength to honor your commitment/s. To stay on the path when your commitments seem less bright and shiny and less exciting, you've got to connect back to your core values, build your get-'er-done muscle, and remember who you will become if you give up. The world misses out when you don't shine your light. Keep moving forward one day at a time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is reconnect with your "why" and recommit. Reflect on a key commitment or goal you've been struggling to stay consistent with lately. What originally inspired you to make this commitment? Then get clear on your core values underneath the commitment. For example, if the commitment is working out - is it tied to values like health, strength, self-discipline? Write down how staying committed allows you to live those values fully. Remember, an inch of progress can lead to a mile of achievement when sustained over time.
By Lisa Marie Platske 02 May, 2024
Today, I'll be diving deeper into the vital role that coaches, mentors, and supportive friends play in guiding us through times of transition and growth. When you find yourself in the midst of change, uncertainty, or a major life transition, it can be tempting to try to go it alone. We may feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness. The truth is, we all need guidance and support at various points in our lives and careers. Think about a time when you were faced with a significant challenge or decision. How did you navigate that situation? Did you try to figure it out on your own, or did you reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals for support? I can attest from my own experience that having the right people in your corner can make all the difference. When I was going through the twists and turns of growing my business and figuring out my next steps, I leaned heavily on my coaches, mentors, and close friends. One of the coaches who has been particularly impactful in my life is Ryan Stewman . Ryan has helped countless entrepreneurs and sales professionals break through their barriers and achieve greater success. Through his coaching and guidance, he's helped me gain clarity on my vision, improve my sales and marketing strategies, and stay motivated and focused even when the path ahead seemed unclear. Another invaluable resource has been Lumenaria E. Goyer , a fellow coach and healer. Lumenaria has a unique ability to help people tap into their deepest truths and unlock their full potential. Her insights and support have been instrumental in my personal growth and development, enabling me to show up more authentically in my business and in my relationships. And then there's Neville Joffe , a business and cash flow strategist who has become a trusted mentor and friend. Neville has a wealth of experience and a keen analytical mind, and he's helped me navigate complex challenges, make difficult decisions, and stay grounded during times of rapid change and expansion. Finally, I have to give a shout-out to my dear friend Cody Toussau . Cody is a fellow entrepreneur, and he's been a constant source of encouragement, wisdom, and accountability for me. He's the one I turn to when I need a fresh perspective, or a gentle push to keep moving forward. These are just a few of the incredible people who have helped me find my way through life's roundabouts. I know I'm not alone. We all need that kind of support and guidance at various points in our lives. So, the question is, who are the people in your life that can help you navigate the twists and turns you're facing? And if you're not sure where to start, feel free to reach out to me. I'd be honored to listen to your story, offer my perspective, and connect you with resources and people who can support you on your journey. Because the world needs you, and your light deserves to shine brightly. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to evaluate and strengthen your personal circle of support: Reflect on the major decisions or growth edges you currently have in your life and work. Honestly assess any gaps in the support and wisdom you require. Then, make a list of the coaches, mentors, friends and advisors who currently provide guidance. Also, reach out to potential new mentors, join a mastermind group, explore coaching programs, or get vulnerable with friends about needing their perspective. Invest effort this week into building up your personal circle of guides - the diverse voices who can provide support. The world needs your brilliance, shining even brighter from walking alongside these lights. 
By Lisa Marie Platske 29 Apr, 2024
Have you ever found yourself driving through an unfamiliar town, only to come across a peculiar intersection - a roundabout? I remember the first time I encountered one when I was living in New Jersey. At first, it seemed completely foreign and counterintuitive to me. Instead of a traditional four-way stop or traffic light, you simply entered this circular intersection and had to navigate your way around it, exiting onto the road you needed to take. The experience of driving through a roundabout is a lot like the journey of life itself. You're moving forward, but not in a straight line. It can feel disorienting, especially when you're not used to it. Just like navigating a roundabout, life is full of twists and turns, moments where we have to make decisions and change direction. You may find yourself asking questions like, ~ Where am I going? ~ Where am I called to be? ~ Who am I called to be? ~ How do I get where I want to go when I can't see clearly? It's in those times of uncertainty and change that we need people in our lives who can help us see what we can't see for ourselves. That's why I'm so grateful for the coaches, mentors, and friends who have walked alongside me, especially during the times of transition and growth in my own life and business. So, who are the people in your life that help you navigate the roundabouts? The world needs your brilliance, your light, your unique gifts. And you don't have to shine that light alone. Surround yourself with people who can see what you can't, who can offer guidance and support as you navigate life's roundabouts. In my next newsletter, I'll be diving deeper into the vital role that coaches, mentors, and supportive friends play in guiding us through times of transition and growth. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify the guides who can help you through life's roundabouts. Identify 1-2 people (coaches, mentors, friends) already in your life who can provide that guidance. Commit to leaning on them this week. If you lack key guides, take action to find them - research coaches/programs, join a mastermind, get honest with a wise friend about needing their perspective. Remember, the world needs your brilliance, and you'll shine even brighter with the right people illuminating the path beside you. Take steps this week to surround yourself with guides for this season.
By Lisa Marie Platske 25 Apr, 2024
As I wandered the serene paths of the farm, my mind couldn't help but drift to the profound words of Kahlil Gibran in his masterpiece, The Prophet. The soft glow of the moon illuminated the vibrant wisdom echoing through my soul from his lines: "Do not live half a life... and do not die a half death. If you choose silence, then be silent. When you speak, do so until you are finished. If you accept, then express it bluntly. Do not mask it. If you refuse, then be clear about it, for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance. Do not accept half a solution. Do not believe half truths. Do not dream half a dream. Do not fantasize about half hopes. Half the way will get you nowhere. You are a whole that exists to live a life, not half a life." Gibran's words resonate deeply, compelling me to ask myself...  ~ What are the ways in which I have been living half a life? ~ Have I truly been using 100% of my gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences? ~ Have I expressed myself fully in all areas of my life? Gibran's wisdom compels us to confront ourselves honestly. We cannot delude ourselves with half-truths or fantasize about half-hopes. To live authentically demands complete commitment - a wholehearted embrace of our purpose and passion. The great poet reminds us that such an approach leads nowhere. We are meant for greatness, to live lives that shake the universe. Each of us carries our own brilliance. When we show up halfway, the world loses apiece of the mosaic it longs for. So let this be your charge - to live with such passion that the world cannot help but be forever changed by your presence. For in the end, that is the greatest measure of a life well-lived. Remember... The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to choose one creative project or expressive outlet and devote concentrated time to it with your full self. Whether it's writing, painting, dancing, singing, building something with your hands - pick a creative pursuit that lights you up. Make it your priority practice. Block off 2-3 hour time chunks to immerse yourself completely in the creative flow without distractions or multitasking. Show up 100% focused and express yourself boldly through this medium. When you naturally start to lose momentum or inspiration, stop and reflect in your journal. What did this experience of whole-hearted creating teach you? How can you apply that energy to other areas of your life? Your brilliance shines through full creative expression.
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By Lisa Marie Platske 06 May, 2024
When you commit to doing something, you're going to get to a point where the excitement will wear off. Too often, your commitment will start to feel like a chore. See, maybe the progress you envisioned doesn't happen as fast as you wanted. Or perhaps the journey has you feeling boxed in. Or maybe you're jumping hurdles questioning whether it's really worth it to stay the course. You're going to face hardship on the trek to the Summit. That's why you need Leadership . That means being clear who you are, what you want, and why it matters. You've got to have a set of core values that you use as drivers when the going gets tough. Your values are simply an invitation to be a better version of who you are right now. When you remember that your commitment is less about what you want and more about who you become, it's easier to stay engaged despite the obstacles. For example, I value protection. My daily commitment is to do push-ups in the morning. Doing push-ups allows me to be physically and emotionally stronger each day, so I can protect myself and those I love from harm. Connecting who you are with who you want to be will allow you to re-energize your commitments and motivate you to keep moving forward. Neurobiology professor Andrew Huberman coined the phrase "micro-sucks." It's when you do things you don't want to do to build your perseverance muscle. Like getting out of bed and going for a run before work. Like going to the gym after a long day at the office. Like saying "no" to dessert. To stay the course, you've got to build your tenacity muscle, the one that ensures you're going to take action on your commitment regardless of how you feel or any internal or external obstacles you may face. You need that muscle to get to the Summit. People lose their way when they lose their why. That's why I share the A.C.T. acronym at the Upside Summit and have clients at retreats do visual-action exercises. If you honored all your commitments this year, what would be different for you? How would you feel? What would be the compounded results for your overall well-being in 3 years? 5 years? 10 years? What would be different in your health, your relationships, and your work? What about if you gave up? What would life be like next year if you stayed the same or got worse? And if your life continued on that trajectory 3 years, 5 years, and 10 years later? I did that with my health to stressful consequences. We all have missteps. Yet, when you see the consequences of your actions and what you could lose, you'll find the strength to honor your commitment/s. To stay on the path when your commitments seem less bright and shiny and less exciting, you've got to connect back to your core values, build your get-'er-done muscle, and remember who you will become if you give up. The world misses out when you don't shine your light. Keep moving forward one day at a time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is reconnect with your "why" and recommit. Reflect on a key commitment or goal you've been struggling to stay consistent with lately. What originally inspired you to make this commitment? Then get clear on your core values underneath the commitment. For example, if the commitment is working out - is it tied to values like health, strength, self-discipline? Write down how staying committed allows you to live those values fully. Remember, an inch of progress can lead to a mile of achievement when sustained over time.
By Lisa Marie Platske 02 May, 2024
Today, I'll be diving deeper into the vital role that coaches, mentors, and supportive friends play in guiding us through times of transition and growth. When you find yourself in the midst of change, uncertainty, or a major life transition, it can be tempting to try to go it alone. We may feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness. The truth is, we all need guidance and support at various points in our lives and careers. Think about a time when you were faced with a significant challenge or decision. How did you navigate that situation? Did you try to figure it out on your own, or did you reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals for support? I can attest from my own experience that having the right people in your corner can make all the difference. When I was going through the twists and turns of growing my business and figuring out my next steps, I leaned heavily on my coaches, mentors, and close friends. One of the coaches who has been particularly impactful in my life is Ryan Stewman . Ryan has helped countless entrepreneurs and sales professionals break through their barriers and achieve greater success. Through his coaching and guidance, he's helped me gain clarity on my vision, improve my sales and marketing strategies, and stay motivated and focused even when the path ahead seemed unclear. Another invaluable resource has been Lumenaria E. Goyer , a fellow coach and healer. Lumenaria has a unique ability to help people tap into their deepest truths and unlock their full potential. Her insights and support have been instrumental in my personal growth and development, enabling me to show up more authentically in my business and in my relationships. And then there's Neville Joffe , a business and cash flow strategist who has become a trusted mentor and friend. Neville has a wealth of experience and a keen analytical mind, and he's helped me navigate complex challenges, make difficult decisions, and stay grounded during times of rapid change and expansion. Finally, I have to give a shout-out to my dear friend Cody Toussau . Cody is a fellow entrepreneur, and he's been a constant source of encouragement, wisdom, and accountability for me. He's the one I turn to when I need a fresh perspective, or a gentle push to keep moving forward. These are just a few of the incredible people who have helped me find my way through life's roundabouts. I know I'm not alone. We all need that kind of support and guidance at various points in our lives. So, the question is, who are the people in your life that can help you navigate the twists and turns you're facing? And if you're not sure where to start, feel free to reach out to me. I'd be honored to listen to your story, offer my perspective, and connect you with resources and people who can support you on your journey. Because the world needs you, and your light deserves to shine brightly. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to evaluate and strengthen your personal circle of support: Reflect on the major decisions or growth edges you currently have in your life and work. Honestly assess any gaps in the support and wisdom you require. Then, make a list of the coaches, mentors, friends and advisors who currently provide guidance. Also, reach out to potential new mentors, join a mastermind group, explore coaching programs, or get vulnerable with friends about needing their perspective. Invest effort this week into building up your personal circle of guides - the diverse voices who can provide support. The world needs your brilliance, shining even brighter from walking alongside these lights. 
By Lisa Marie Platske 29 Apr, 2024
Have you ever found yourself driving through an unfamiliar town, only to come across a peculiar intersection - a roundabout? I remember the first time I encountered one when I was living in New Jersey. At first, it seemed completely foreign and counterintuitive to me. Instead of a traditional four-way stop or traffic light, you simply entered this circular intersection and had to navigate your way around it, exiting onto the road you needed to take. The experience of driving through a roundabout is a lot like the journey of life itself. You're moving forward, but not in a straight line. It can feel disorienting, especially when you're not used to it. Just like navigating a roundabout, life is full of twists and turns, moments where we have to make decisions and change direction. You may find yourself asking questions like, ~ Where am I going? ~ Where am I called to be? ~ Who am I called to be? ~ How do I get where I want to go when I can't see clearly? It's in those times of uncertainty and change that we need people in our lives who can help us see what we can't see for ourselves. That's why I'm so grateful for the coaches, mentors, and friends who have walked alongside me, especially during the times of transition and growth in my own life and business. So, who are the people in your life that help you navigate the roundabouts? The world needs your brilliance, your light, your unique gifts. And you don't have to shine that light alone. Surround yourself with people who can see what you can't, who can offer guidance and support as you navigate life's roundabouts. In my next newsletter, I'll be diving deeper into the vital role that coaches, mentors, and supportive friends play in guiding us through times of transition and growth. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to identify the guides who can help you through life's roundabouts. Identify 1-2 people (coaches, mentors, friends) already in your life who can provide that guidance. Commit to leaning on them this week. If you lack key guides, take action to find them - research coaches/programs, join a mastermind, get honest with a wise friend about needing their perspective. Remember, the world needs your brilliance, and you'll shine even brighter with the right people illuminating the path beside you. Take steps this week to surround yourself with guides for this season.
By Lisa Marie Platske 25 Apr, 2024
As I wandered the serene paths of the farm, my mind couldn't help but drift to the profound words of Kahlil Gibran in his masterpiece, The Prophet. The soft glow of the moon illuminated the vibrant wisdom echoing through my soul from his lines: "Do not live half a life... and do not die a half death. If you choose silence, then be silent. When you speak, do so until you are finished. If you accept, then express it bluntly. Do not mask it. If you refuse, then be clear about it, for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance. Do not accept half a solution. Do not believe half truths. Do not dream half a dream. Do not fantasize about half hopes. Half the way will get you nowhere. You are a whole that exists to live a life, not half a life." Gibran's words resonate deeply, compelling me to ask myself...  ~ What are the ways in which I have been living half a life? ~ Have I truly been using 100% of my gifts, abilities, talents, and experiences? ~ Have I expressed myself fully in all areas of my life? Gibran's wisdom compels us to confront ourselves honestly. We cannot delude ourselves with half-truths or fantasize about half-hopes. To live authentically demands complete commitment - a wholehearted embrace of our purpose and passion. The great poet reminds us that such an approach leads nowhere. We are meant for greatness, to live lives that shake the universe. Each of us carries our own brilliance. When we show up halfway, the world loses apiece of the mosaic it longs for. So let this be your charge - to live with such passion that the world cannot help but be forever changed by your presence. For in the end, that is the greatest measure of a life well-lived. Remember... The World Needs You and Your Brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to choose one creative project or expressive outlet and devote concentrated time to it with your full self. Whether it's writing, painting, dancing, singing, building something with your hands - pick a creative pursuit that lights you up. Make it your priority practice. Block off 2-3 hour time chunks to immerse yourself completely in the creative flow without distractions or multitasking. Show up 100% focused and express yourself boldly through this medium. When you naturally start to lose momentum or inspiration, stop and reflect in your journal. What did this experience of whole-hearted creating teach you? How can you apply that energy to other areas of your life? Your brilliance shines through full creative expression.
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