Lessons Learned at the Abbey
Two weeks ago, I embarked on a silent retreat at Holy Cross Abbey. Leaving work behind was more challenging than I anticipated. Here are the lessons learned.
Two weeks ago, I embarked on a silent retreat at Holy Cross Abbey.
I’ve had a lot of inquiries about what happened, why I went, and what I learned –which is why I decided to write about my experience with you in detail.
It’s a long Upside Thinker as I’ve chosen to open my heart up to you and share the depth of my experience.
Going to the Abbey was a decision I had given much thought to and planned months prior, having worked out all of the details with my team about what I wanted done in my absence.
Yet, while I planned a “light” morning, complete with an Epsom salt bath and massage at my home in the morning before leaving for the retreat center, I found myself rushing around.
I called my executive assistant Sheri after the massage to review a few inquiries that had come in over the weekend – and I was scrambling to get it all done before my ride came to pick me up.
I had made arrangements not to take my vehicle so 1) I could leave my vehicle home for my husband to use; and 2) I wouldn’t have an escape plan.
Sheri told me to just let it go – and the world would be fine without me.
But, I wasn’t sure – and wondered what I was holding on so tightly to before I left.
- Was it the uncertainty?
- Was it not being in control?
- Was it fear?
- Fear of a missed opportunity?
- Fear of the unknown?
- Fear of what was to be revealed?
Yes, it was ALL of these things.
The 90-minute drive to the retreat center was filled with lots of questions and a lengthy conversation about faith.
When I arrived, I was greeted by a talkative and congenial Monk who pointed me to my room on the lower level.
He disappeared an hour later, only to be seen again at services.
I was ready for the silence and absence of electronics.
Or, so I thought.
After my check-in at the retreat center, I was at a loss of what to do.
This was a self-guided, silent meditative retreat so there was no one to ask and for the first time in a long time, I had no answers – only questions.
I thought, “Do I remember how to be?”
I unpacked my bags and took out all of my toiletries.
Glancing over at the clock, I realized only 30 minutes had passed.
How was I going to do this for a week?!?
The purpose was to be fully present while being in close connection/communication with God and listen to my soul’s deepest wisdom.
I opened a book and read, as it was as close to being as I was aware to do at that moment.
And, I dozed off in between sentences before hearing the bell for dinner…..
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Leaving work behind was more challenging than I anticipated.
And, the quiet was eerie as the voices in my head were louder.
I wandered through the retreat house after dinner, perusing books in the library and stumbled on the chapel.
After I opened the door, it took my breath away.
It was as if I had been called there
I knelt and sat. Lessons Learned
Moments felt like hours and I stood up to leave when I heard a voice say, “Stay.” – and I knew it was Jesus calling me back.
I sat back down and thought, “How did I get here?” – and received no clear response.
My mind continued to wander and I let my thoughts come and go with ease.
I heard a voice again saying, “Rest” so I closed my eyes.
Spending time with a friend is peaceful and easy – and I felt at home.
I discovered why I was there on day #2 – and reaffirmed my vocation is indeed my marriage and my calling is Upside Thinking, Inc.
It took me a few days to remember how to “be myself”.
I also realized how challenging it can be to be who you are as well as who you are called to be.
When you think there is a “right way” to be, and you may not be it, it can be wearing – and I had been living like off and on for a few months – or perhaps a few years.
I cried at the strangest times – and when I tie them all together, it was about me being present in my own life.
On the third day, I wandered into the chapel with an open heart, and asked Jesus what message I needed to hear.
I heard, “Be still.”
Now, I was annoyed – and said, “That’s it?!? I came all this way for ‘Be still.'”?!?
And, the voice repeated, “Be still.” And, then, “You work too hard.”
Sigh.
Be still it is.
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Lessons Learned
I learned to treasure the silence and walk away with new tools.
I learned that we all have the same struggles and challenges – and it is only with new eyes that we see.
I learned that there is goodness and kindness everywhere – and it is good to laugh.
On my final day, you could choose to meet with a monk for a 30-minute consultation.
I asked Brother Maurice if he had any advice for me, and he said, “Be still – and be appreciative.”
I laughed right then and there – and thought, “Now, you’re just messin’ with me, Jesus.”
Clearly, Brother Maurice had colluded with Jesus.
His final thoughts for me were, “We all think, ‘If only they knew that about me….'”
Yes, I learned and re-learned the simple – and for that I am grateful.
Thank you for being part of my Upside, sometimes messy and very imperfect, leadership journey.
Action Item: Lessons learned - Lisa Marie Platske
The Upside Challenge of the week is to examine where you need more stillness and gratitude in your life. Choose to be as often as you choose to do.
The world needs you and your brilliance.
