Lessons Learned at the Abbey

I'm not interested in "playing it safe." It's why I never liked someone asking me about my "realistic" goal(s). Comfort and realism, I've found, will never truly bring happiness. They might offer temporary solace, but in the long run, they can lead to a sense of stagnation. And it will have you fall asleep and miss your life. I've always believed that to truly thrive, one must be willing to embrace struggle and adventure. It's through facing challenges head-on, pushing the boundaries of what we think is possible, that we discover our true strength and depth. That's why I'm grateful for what I got being raised by a single mom who struggled because my daddy didn't take care of his financial responsibilities. She lived paycheck to paycheck, often struggling to make ends meet, wanting to give us the best life possible. You're never going to find meaning in your comfort zone. You need risk and pushing out your growth edges to engage the depths of your Soul. Research shows that the difficulty and seeming impossibility of our goals can actually increase our likelihood of achieving them. Think about it - no one talks about taking a leisurely stroll around the block every day. Instead, they proudly share stories of conquering ultramarathons or scaling the heights of Everest. It's the courageous goals, the ones that push us to our limits and beyond, that light our passion and drive. Risk stirs fear, frustration, doubt, and perhaps even discouragement. It is like a siren call to rise to the challenge before you, a challenge that will help you remember you can do hard things and you are capable of far more than we often give ourselves credit for. And in rising to meet the challenge, we not only prove our resilience but also discover a deeper understanding of our own capabilities. We all carry within us a narrative - stories of who we are, who we're not, what we can do, and what we can't. And every day presents an opportunity to reinvent ourselves, to push yourself to new heights every single day. So, I urge you - don't play life safe. Dare to dream big, to set courageous goals that scare and excite you in equal measure. It will lead you to new places, better ones even. Because comfort doesn't change the world. And the world needs you and your brilliance. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week to get clear on your own personal courageous goal that ignites your passion. Think about what it would mean to set a ‘summit’ goal for yourself in your life or in your work right now. Imagine an experience or achievement going significantly beyond the next level. Next, imagine a picture of what this would mean – what would achieving this goal look like, feel like, what would it mean to you and to those around you, and excite yourself about it. Make sure to share this goal with at least one or two people you trust to hold you accountable, whether it’s your significant other, a close friend, or a family member. Simply saying it out loud helps, and creates opportunities for you to gather insights from them as well. Remember, don't play life safe, because comfort doesn't change the world.

You have a Divine mission that is all yours – a unique purpose that is yours alone to fulfill. This mission is not something that can be stumbled upon by chance or achieved through mindless activity. It requires a laser-like focus, a willingness to channel every ounce of our time, energy, and resources toward what matters most. Yet today modern day conveniences have most folks fooled into thinking they are taking action, when really they're distracted doing lots of busy work that makes them feel a little like they are accomplishing stuff. They're really just circling around on a hamster wheel. I've been there. And I know that choosing where to invest your time, energy, and money require unwavering focus on what matters most. When we align ourselves with this Divine mission, something remarkable happens. We move with purpose and clarity, cutting through the noise and distractions that once held us back. ~ Your progress accelerates, ~ Your results compound. ~ Your success becomes inevitable. But how do we discover this mission? How do we gain the clarity and focus required to pursue it with dedication? The first step is to decide what you're truly willing to dive deeply for – what cause or passion ignites your soul and demands your full commitment. Once you've identified this, the path becomes clear: 1. Choice : Consciously choosing to prioritize your Divine mission above all else. 2. Direction : Charting a course that aligns with your deepest values and aspirations. 3. Commitment : Having a steadfast determination to see your mission through, no matter the obstacles. 4. Consistent action: Taking purposeful, focused steps every day, building momentum and compounding progress. Rinse and repeat, allowing this cycle to become your way of life, your guiding force. The best leaders get this. They understand that true greatness is not born from aimless activity but from a relentless pursuit of what matters most. If you find yourself feeling fuzzy or uncertain about your Divine mission, know that you are not alone. My door is always open to those seeking to discover their brilliance and make a lasting impact on the world. Remember the world needs you – your unique gifts, your passion, and your unwavering commitment to your Divine mission. The questions is, will you answer the call? ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is to ruthlessly prioritize and align your time and energy towards your Divine mission. Start by asking what cause or passion ignites your soul and demands your full commitment. Next, make an audit on how you currently invest your time, money and energy. Identify which of these actively support and accelerate your divine mission and which are misaligned distractions circling the hamster wheel? Then, take steps to ruthlessly cut out or deprioritize anything not aligned with your mission. Double down your focus on the few core mission-critical areas. Remember true impact comes not from aimless activity, but ruthlessly devoting yourself to your unique world-shifting purpose.

When you commit to doing something, you're going to get to a point where the excitement will wear off. Too often, your commitment will start to feel like a chore. See, maybe the progress you envisioned doesn't happen as fast as you wanted. Or perhaps the journey has you feeling boxed in. Or maybe you're jumping hurdles questioning whether it's really worth it to stay the course. You're going to face hardship on the trek to the Summit. That's why you need Leadership . That means being clear who you are, what you want, and why it matters. You've got to have a set of core values that you use as drivers when the going gets tough. Your values are simply an invitation to be a better version of who you are right now. When you remember that your commitment is less about what you want and more about who you become, it's easier to stay engaged despite the obstacles. For example, I value protection. My daily commitment is to do push-ups in the morning. Doing push-ups allows me to be physically and emotionally stronger each day, so I can protect myself and those I love from harm. Connecting who you are with who you want to be will allow you to re-energize your commitments and motivate you to keep moving forward. Neurobiology professor Andrew Huberman coined the phrase "micro-sucks." It's when you do things you don't want to do to build your perseverance muscle. Like getting out of bed and going for a run before work. Like going to the gym after a long day at the office. Like saying "no" to dessert. To stay the course, you've got to build your tenacity muscle, the one that ensures you're going to take action on your commitment regardless of how you feel or any internal or external obstacles you may face. You need that muscle to get to the Summit. People lose their way when they lose their why. That's why I share the A.C.T. acronym at the Upside Summit and have clients at retreats do visual-action exercises. If you honored all your commitments this year, what would be different for you? How would you feel? What would be the compounded results for your overall well-being in 3 years? 5 years? 10 years? What would be different in your health, your relationships, and your work? What about if you gave up? What would life be like next year if you stayed the same or got worse? And if your life continued on that trajectory 3 years, 5 years, and 10 years later? I did that with my health to stressful consequences. We all have missteps. Yet, when you see the consequences of your actions and what you could lose, you'll find the strength to honor your commitment/s. To stay on the path when your commitments seem less bright and shiny and less exciting, you've got to connect back to your core values, build your get-'er-done muscle, and remember who you will become if you give up. The world misses out when you don't shine your light. Keep moving forward one day at a time. ACTION: The Upside Challenge this week is reconnect with your "why" and recommit. Reflect on a key commitment or goal you've been struggling to stay consistent with lately. What originally inspired you to make this commitment? Then get clear on your core values underneath the commitment. For example, if the commitment is working out - is it tied to values like health, strength, self-discipline? Write down how staying committed allows you to live those values fully. Remember, an inch of progress can lead to a mile of achievement when sustained over time.